Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Lil Wayne was in my dream last night! Yeah. He had a farm. No, I mostly just made fun of his voice a lot. “Hey, girl, who knew we’d have so much in common?” And I was like “Lil Wayne, I had no idea!”

(Professor, heard from outside a chemistry lecture hall.)

Prof: Okay. Now, imagine you’re all molecules. Good. But I hate molecules! Uh-oh, really bad!

(Two girls, talking at a library study table.)

Girl 1: Were they at least cute?
Girl 2: The girl was a cute Latina woman, but the guy had a scum-stache. I had to turn up my Walkman to drown out the squelching noises.

(English professor, in a small lecture.)

Prof: Government needs hospitals and other utilities to run smoothly. Something like the Starship Enterprise.
Student: ExCUSE me?
Prof: What?
Student: Have you … have you ever even seen an episode of Star Trek?

(Guy, girl, talking in the Music building.)

Guy: Did you see the tree-lighting ceremony that year?
Girl: No, was it good?
Guy: Yeah. Josh Groban got so turned on, he ate the microphone.

(Guy, at a bus stop.)

Guy: It’s November. I’m rolling. I’m all by myself. I’m rolling, and I think I’m gonna write a Christmas song.

(Two girls, coming out of an exam.)

Girl 1: Bombed it. That was terrible.
Girl 2: I think I did okay, actually.
Girl 1: And – damnit! And I forgot to water my veggies in FarmVille!

(Guys, coming out of the gym locker room.)

Guy 1: Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift?
Guy 2: Probably Miley Cyrus. Taylor Swift looks like a cat that got hit by a makeup train.

(Guys, in the Student Union cafe.)

Guy 1: Dizzy Bat, flip cup, pong. What else.  Need some more.
Guy 2: Forty-hands?
Guy 1: Maybe.
Guy 3: Pitcher drink?
Guy 1: What’s that?
Guy 3: You drink until you pass out.

(Guy, waiting at  a Starbucks.)

Guy: Listen, if I’m gonna date a girl, I’m just saying, she’s gotta respect my ass. I got a pretty big ass. It demands a lot of respect.

My bartending style tends to run less towards the carefully measured, tried-and-true recipes and more towards the “What’s in my fridge right now?” trial-and-error method. I rarely use actual measures, because what is “good” depends on how many people are drinking, how liquored up they want to be, and how well they hold all that liquor.

That being said, I have a few favorite drinks that do really well in cold weather.

Peppermint Hot Chocolate:

This ain’t your grandma’s hot cocoa. (Or maybe it is…) I like to add a few drops (or shots) of Peppermint Schnapps to hot chocolate for an immediate warm-up. Make the cocoa with milk if you like it creamier.

Cinnamon Vanilla Cream:

One day my love of Starbucks and alcohol collided, and this drink was born. I just poured some Cinnamon Schnapps into my Vanilla Crème, and – voilà – an innocuous looking brew. Yes, I did keep it all in the Starbucks container. You can make your own Vanilla crème by warming up milk, adding a drop or two of vanilla extract, sugar to taste, and topping it off with whipped cream.

Hot (Spiked) Apple Cider:

First, you need to find some alcoholic apple cider. It’s probably somewhere between the beer and wine sections. Two bottles is a good amount to start with. On the stove, get it simmering with two cinnamon sticks, a tablespoon of cloves, a little bit of sugar and some nutmeg. What really makes it piping hot though, is the addition of either rum or apple brandy. Be generous, ladies – the apple cider has lost most of its alcoholic content in the heating process.

Hot Spiced Wine:

Hot spiced wine is like Sangria, only warm. With cinnamon and cloves. You start by boiling about a ½ cup of sugar in a ½ cup of water (for a 2 bottle recipe). Once the sugar is dissolved into the water, add the wine and spices. When you feel that the mixture has sufficiently blended, turn off the heat and add orange and lemon slices and either rum or brandy to taste. Vodka works too, and you can get creative with the fruit you choose to put in. It is best if you make it an hour or so before you serve it.

For a more sophisticated cocktail try the Blushing Reindeer, or any one of these being made at the hippest New York bars. Personally, if I’m the one making the drinks, I shouldn’t have to work to get drunk. I leave the creative mixology to the bartenders.

Any of your own favorite recipes that you want to share?

[Always drink responsibly. Photo courtesy of countryliving.com]

Someone needs a little more 'bux in her cram sesh.

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me!

Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Just wanna talk to a pretty cool lady (if I do say so myself)?

Hit me up in the comments or shoot me an email at melanie@collegecandy.com

How can I cram for a test effectively?
Okay, first of all, cramming and effective should not go in the same sentence. But if you lost track of time (or couldn’t pass up a week-long Beer Pong tourny the week of exams…) and you must cram, pick a place that’s quiet and distraction free. Preferably the library or a Starbucks. Load up on caffeine, make an outline of the most relevant points that are going to be on the test, make flashcards, whatever; just writing down the information will help you learn it. If you’re in a time crunch, skip the excess and read (and read again and again ) summaries and Sparknotes.

Cramming is different for everyone. Personally, I crack open a red bull and hide in a deserted classroom and make absurd nmenumic devices. If Redbull’s not your thing, snag the most expensive drink at Starbucks. It’s a 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel. $13.76 (with tax). Gross, right?

I need a roommate next year! Who should I pick?

Okay, well I don’t know everyone you associate with, but my advice is to pick someone who gets on your nerves the least. I’ve roomed with a friend from high school, a girl BFF, randoms AND boys. Personally, I adore living with guy friends (though they can be somewhat sloppy and don’t have cute dresses to share) and I had success living with my college bestie as well. Even a few random roommates became close friends of mine. I would suggest picking someone you know very well and that shares similar living styles. Similar sleep, work, party and class schedules are great too. You definitely don’t want to share a bedroom with an early bird if you hit the hay at 4 AM. Look for chicas (or chicos) who are laid back, respectful and aren’t overwhelming. If all else fails, do the random roomie thing. Sometimes it can suck, but most likely it’ll work out!

If I go home with a guy, do I have to sleep with him?
NO. If you don’t want to, don’t. Don’t feel guilty or obligated to do more than you want. Just because you invited him to be a guest in your home (or vice versa) doesn’t mean you’re obliged to do anything that you don’t want to.

When am I going to start feeling more at home here?
I’d say typically towards the end of your first semester, but it’s different for everyone. I never felt at home at my first school, so I transferred. If you’re super miserable? Look into transfer options. In my heart I knew that my first college wasn’t the right fit for me, so halfway through freshie year I applied to transfer and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m not suggesting to transfer the instant you feel out of place, but if you’re so uncomfortable at school, don’t be afraid of the option! Make the most out of college.

"Marijuana is a gateway drug, honey. It will kill you."

It wasn’t until 3 years ago, at the age of 23, that I realized that a red ring won’t show up around you if you pee in my parents’ pool. I had been living in that house and swimming in that pool since the ripe age of 6, running into the freezing cold basement and struggling to pull a wet one-piece up over my ass whenever I had to pee, and it took me 17 years to learn that my parents had been lying to me all along.

Yes, I could have been peeing in that pool for years!

After spending most of my life living a lie (one that protected everyone else swimming with me, I suppose) I started to think back on other things my parents may have been lying about. Like when they told me and my brothers that they didn’t have a favorite child, when clearly that child is me. Or when they told me they’d never done drugs. Bullsh*t, parents!

And I know I’m not the only one who’s been lied to! Apparently it’s a parent’s job to seriously mislead their children. Our friends over at Lemondrop have been lied to, and the CollegeCandy writers have been living some lies, too.

John – UConn: My parents told me that any Nickelodeon show with live actors would corrupt my morals.

Elise – Stanford: My parents told me that they had Santa Claus’ phone number and would actually stage phone calls to him saying I hadn’t cleaned my room.  They even wrote it down in their address book.

Nina – Michigan State University: We’re a traditional, old world kind of family. My parents told me (half jokingly) that boys won’t like me if I don’t keep my room clean. I’ve proven it false several times throughout my life. But at the moment, considering that I don’t have a boyfriend and I have yet to see my bedroom floor, I think they could be onto something…

Brianna – Fordham University: My dad left me under the impression that I had been drinking iced coffee every morning until the age of 13, when it was actually chocolate milk on ice. I’m getting my revenge now by using his credit card to indulge my Starbucks addiction.

Lexi C – Brown: They told me that Santa Claus wasn’t real and that I was made through vaginal penetration at the age of 4. Yeah, they didn’t tell me lies.

Lauren H – The New School: I was a terrible nail biter when I was a kid (didn’t stop until I got braces and couldn’t get my fingers in there) but my mother once told me that fingernails don’t dissolve in your stomach and can get stuck and fill up your intestine. I carried that image for far too many years

Caitlin – University of Alabama: They told me we had hidden cameras in the basement so they could see what I was doing.

Brithny – Duke: That the Tooth Fairy only gave money to children whose tooth was white and sparkly. Thus began my 3-minute teeth-brushing OCD tendencies.

Rosie – Duke: My parents always told me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up, as long as I believed in it hard enough.  When I told them I wanted to be an elephant at age 4, my dad encouraged the idea and acted like it was totally possible if it was truly my dream. So until first grade, whenever people asked, I told them I wanted to be an elephant, and when they laughed, I thought they just didn’t understand the power of believing in yourself.

Desiree – Columbia University: My parents didn’t lie to me much. In fact, there were times when they were all too honest. Like when my mom told me I smelled like a man after volleyball practice.

Laura – St. John’s: When I was really young, my dad would tell me that eating bread crusts would make my hair curly, and since I craved long wavy hair, I did as I was told.  It didn’t take me that long to figure that one out… and I still don’t eat the crusts off my sandwiches.

Kim – University of Delaware: If I didn’t dry the pots and pans completely and put them away, centipedes would grow in the kitchen cabinets.

Kelly – Simmons College: My parents made up some crazy story about a fat man in a red suit who broke into our house by climbing down the chimney and left me presents, which he was always too lazy to wrap.

Kiki – University of Missouri: My parents allowed me to pronounce “nostalgia” as “nosta-gala” for 14 years of my life, under the pretense that it was too cute to correct. Sometimes I still slip up, and at 20 years old, it’s a little less adorable.

Samantha – UC Santa Barbara: My parents were always pretty straight-up with me, but it was my grandma who told me that if I pouted a little birdie would come and poop on my lip and if I crossed my eyes they would get stuck like that. I’m 20, and still need my looks for a few years, so I’m not taking any chances!

Cristina – Michigan State: My dad would always tell me he had a mini-TV and was watching me all day in case I did anything bad.  I think I still believe it.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: Now that I think of it, my parents didn’t really lie to me because I was the smart-aleck who called bulls*** on everything, even when I was 5.

You know that really annoying friend of yours who feels the incessant need to point out that they were the first to know about a now really popular band? Every. single. time. it comes on the radio?

As annoying as they are, there is something exciting about the knowing of a new band, new clothing brand, great sale, awesome book or recipe, and sharing it with the ones you love. And by ones you love, I mean the ones you go back and forth with right here on the CollegeCandy message boards.

So here’s the deal: every week, we will feature things that YOU think other CollegeCandy readers just have to know about. Anything at all. Nothing is off limits. You share it with me and I’ll pass along the goodness.

Old Soul, New Heart
If there is one great way to make that old black frock new again it’s with accessories. And if there is one new amazing accessories website to do just that with it’s Old Soul New Heart. This mother/daughter duo has made a brand new spot in my big ol heart. I’m obsessed. Obsessed as in, I’d buy the whole line. Obsessed as in, if Old Soul New Heart were a boy, I would be standing outside his window right now proclaiming my love for all things feathered and sequins. (And I wonder why I’m single.) And if the sheer cuteness of the product wasn’t reason enough to go stalker crazy on this line, it’s price point will having you make room in your heart and your closet, as well.

Kind Bars
We all know that 4pm “time for a snack” feeling. You’re back from lecture and nothing good is on TV so you are stuck watching Pimp My Ride because, in the moment, that seems far more appealing then reading for class. And eating seems like a far better activity than going to the gym. Well, the least you can do is eat something healthy while you rot your brain with MTV mid-day programming. Like the Kind Bar. It is not only good, but – wait for it – good for you! (Now there’s a line I bet you’ve never heard.) Kind Bars are all natural, gluten free and these bad boys hit the spot with their perfect mixture of salty/sweet/crunchy goodness. And now you can find them at most Starbucks locations. With an average of 190 calories a pop you can bet that they will be kinder (ha!) to your waistline than that pumpkin loaf staring you in the face.

Got something awesome everyone needs to know about? Email your “The Know” ideas to Jill@collegecandy.com and I’ll pass them along to everyone right here, right now. Well, not right now, but soon. Like, every Thursday.

You know that really annoying friend of yours who feels the incessant need to point out that they were the first to know about a now really popular band? Every. single. time. it comes on the radio?

As annoying as they are, there is something exciting about the knowing of a new band, new clothing brand, great sale, awesome book or recipe, and sharing it with the ones you love. And by ones you love, I mean the ones you go back and forth with right here on the CollegeCandy message boards.

So here’s the deal: every week, we will feature 3 things that YOU think other CollegeCandy readers just have to know about. Anything at all. Nothing is off limits.

Pumkin Pie Hershey Kisses
By now, you probably know my over-the-top love for Pumpkin Spice from Starbucks. In fact, one of the only things I like about fall is pumpkin flavored things, so imagine my sheer delight when CollegeCandy’s equally pumpkin-obsessed editor sent me the image of these pumpkin pie Hershey kisses. We then proceeded to go back and forth on G-chat for ten minutes obsessing over them. It went a little something like this:

Me: O. M. G.!!!
CC Editor: I KNOW, I’M DYING JUST LOOKING AT THEM
ME: OMG. I mean, I just peed my pants a little, I hope my boss doesn’t notice.
CC Editor: OMGEE. Must. Try. These. Yesterday.

And so it went, and even though neither of us has tried them yet, we knew that you all just had to know. And now you do. And now I can go buy some. Saweet.

All Nighter Hair Powder
Fact is, I’m lazy. And since my Jewish genes blessed me with Jew fro curls that take foreva-eva to wear straight, I don’t like to wash my hair unless absolutely necessary. Problem: the bangs always look greasy before the rest of my hair needs to be washed. Yeah, we’ve all heard of tossing a little baby powder up in there, but it’s no fan favorite, unless, of course, you are playing the part of crazy grandma in your 8th grade play, or want to smell like a baby’s bottom all day. Well, now there’s an answer. And its not just ANY answer – it’s a Rachel Zoe answer, which means it’s good.

Our favorite fashion troll says she’s addicted to All Nighter Hair Powder/Dry Shampoo. It can fit in your purse AND it comes in multiple shades so the powder soaks up the grease while blending in with your hair. Amazing for those mornings when you’re tired and lazy, or those emergency situations when your hair is stuck to your head but you are running late from cute boy’s apartment to not so cute Bio lecture…

Ping iPhone Application
I don’t have an iPhone or a Blackberry but this prospect still excited me. Everyone I know that has a Blackberry says the ONLY reason why they have it over an iPhone is for those 3 letters we all hear wayyy too much: BBM. While to me BBM is just that annoying thing that keeps my friends from paying attention to me when we are together, to Blackberry users it is more important than breathing. Or cupcakes. Yes I said it – more important than cupcakes. It’s addicting and people don’t want to part with it. They don’t call it the Crackberry for nothing.

But now, our friends at apple have developed a nearly-free iPhone app that serves the same purpose! Ping is just like our beloved BBM with a hint of instant messenger combined. And the best part? It doesn’t discriminate against iPhone users only – those with an iPod Touch can take part in the F-U-N that is totally not paying attention in your English lit class. And it’s $0.99. I mentioned that, right? Less than a buck!

Email your “The Know” ideas to Jill@collegecandy.com and I’ll pass them along to everyone right here, right now. Well, not right now, but soon. Like, every Thursday.

It's OK; she's eating for 2.

And it’s not a food baby.

5 drinks that are better for you than a Pumpkin Spice Latte

Occupy yourself during the recession. For free.

Urban Decay creates the perfect eye liner.

Is Katy Perry kissing Russel Brand? (And does she like it?)

Cute “mittens”…for his junk.

Mmmm. When it hits your lips....

Happy National Coffee Day! You know Americans have a serious caffeine addiction when they single out an entire day in which to celebrate it. But before you check your jittery and wide-eyed self into rehab, let’s take a moment to consider the benefits of that aromatic Americano you pick up every morning at your local Starbucks.

First and foremost, coffee produces mental alertness. A pumpkin spice latte in the morning wakes you up, energizes you and improves performance, both academically and, I imagine, in the sack. And it’s legal and socially acceptable. So go on and abuse it, weary college student, no ones judging you.

Coffee is the drink of the escape artist. Things in the library getting too intense for your liking? Escape to the coffee shop for a breather. The thought of spinach in your teeth on a first dinner date worrying you? Ask him to get a casual cup of coffee instead. If avoidance is your game, coffee is your salvation.

Plus it’s loaded up with antioxidants, which are so hot right now. A cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin in the morning will make your skin a no-fly zone for free radicals.

On the same token, coffee has been proven to protect against Parkinson’s disease, type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer’s. Evidence to be found here, here and here. So, in essence, coffee is basically the caffeinated polar opposite of Diet Coke, which will kill you, apparently.

And last but not least, a cup of coffee will give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Which, if you’re wondering, is the caffeine stimulating your bowels. Yummy.

Coffee is a lifestyle choice. Consumers of this drug, excuse me, drink of choice come together in coffee shops across the nation and discuss life, love and why over a steaming cup of their favorite brand of brain food. So celebrate this day with your loved ones, and then hit the bathroom immediately after.

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guy, at a dining hall’s table, eating dinner.)

Guy: Isn’t what we call cauliflower just effeminate broccoli?

(Guys in a public library.)

Guy: So I was reading The Babysitter’s Club, and I guess Grandma had a really cool secret. But chapter books are too much for me these days, so I just flipped to the back to find out what it was. Turns out Grandma just had breast cancer.

(Guy, walking on the beach.)

Guy: I’m Tin Pin Bill. See, they used to call me  Crim Pin Bill, but that didn’t really make any sense.

(Girl, two guys in a coffee shop.)

Girl: Yeah, I’m not on birth control.

Guy: You should probably get on that. I hear this year’s freshman class is the most fertile ever. Yup, highest SAT scores and most virile.

(Girl, standing in line in the student union food court.)

Girl: My cousin thinks Minas Tirith is a real place, and he wants to get married there.

(Two girls, talking in the hallway.)

Girl 1: How’s community college?

Girl 2: Oh, it’s okay. It’s  full of enormous a**hole douchebags. Of course, not really. But when I say that I mean yes, really.

(Girl, chatting before a sociology class.)

Girl: It’s fine, you wouldn’t understand. We women communicate via ovum anyway.

(Guy, talking at a party.)

Guy: I can’t wait! In the future, we’ll just reproduce  by bumping into each other!

(Guy, explaining something to his girlfriend.)

Guy: In Europe, they count backwards from infinity to zero.

Girl: No they don’t. That’s stupid.

Guy: Yeah. You got me.

(Girl, reading a book.)

Girl: Oh! Yeah, see, the best part about all this is, you can use your best friends as giant missiles.

(Guy, yelling in a field outside a class building.)

Guy: Hey… hey, you! You! Anyone! Does anyone hate Teletubbies as much as I do?

"OH MY GOD!! THEY'RE BACK!!!"

Don’t get me wrong – I love me a summer day at the beach. The smell of sunscreen, flip flops, and feeling the hot sand beneath my feet makes me very, very happy. But there is nothing quite like a crisp Fall day. I love jean-jacket weather. I love busting out all my fall clothes from that duffel under my bed. I love getting my back-to-school dramatic haircut. I love anything and everything that has to do with pumpkins (especially the candy corn ones).

Fall, I heart you.

With Labor Day just around the corner, it’s time to say goodbye to our white sundresses and helloooooo (nurse) to leather boots, college football and Pumpkin Spice lattes at Starbucks. (Note: I said hello to those twice…on Monday.) Oh yeah, and also to long nights in the library, 40 pounds of textbooks and early morning classes. But let’s ignore that stuff for a moment and celebrate the best season ever.

Here is what the CollegeCandy writers love most about Fall. What’s your favorite part?

Laura – St. John’s: All the food… pumpkin, apples, Halloween candy, Thanksgiving… yum.

Brittany – University of Richmond: My favorite thing about Fall will be trying to find a date willing to take me to the premiere of New Moon.

Ava – NYU: Fall means back to school, which allows me to indulge my inner dork. Who cares about classes when I have the chance to mull around Staples? Even after so many years of being a student, school supply shopping never gets old.

Lauren H. – The New School: I adore fall, but if I had to pick my one most favoritest thing, I’d have to go with the weather. Fall air is like taking a big breath of energy drink to me!

Brithny – Duke: Call me a dork, but going back to school! I love the smell of new books, and also meeting new people, especially that cute one sitting across from me in English class…

Thu – USC: The season premieres of all my favorite shows. Let’s hope my GPA doesn’t suffer quite as much this time around.

Lauren – University of Michigan: Boys in hooded sweatshirts. Mmm mmm mmmmmmmm.

Charlsie – Hollins University: Hearing the leaves crunch underneath my feet while wearing a new J Crew cardigan.

Donnette – Manhattanville College: I love the general atmosphere of Fall. It’s a season of starting/trying something new. It’s a season of change.

Kari – Florida State: Starbuck’s Pumpkin Spice Lattes. FINALLY!!!

Lindsay- University of Texas at Austin: The colder weather gives me an excuse to stay in bed all day where it’s warm.

Caitin – University of Alabama: That crisp feeling you get when you go outside.  And the pumpkin cream cheese muffins at Starbucks. Mmm!

Leah – Ryerson University: I love fall clothes – sweaters, coats, scarves.

Elizabeth L – UC Berkeley: FOOTBALL GAME DAYS!!

Elizabeth – University of Missouri: The perfect weather; I don’t get to class drenched in sweat and I don’t have to wear 8 layers to go to the dining hall… just yet.

Carly – Grinnell: All the great flavors that the coffee shops roll out with in the fall. Pumpkin-spice latte? Yes, please.

Samantha – UC Santa Barbara: Snacking on candy corn, “Autumn Wreath” scented candles, the sun going down earlier, crisp days and nights, gorgeous leather fall boots and bags, and pumpkins! What other vegetable can you bake treats with, carve, and use for decoration?! Amazing!

Sarabeth – University of Texas: This local restaurant busts out its pumpkin pancakes for fall. SO.EFFIN.GOOD.

Desiree – Columbia University: I get to break out my sweaters but it’s not so cold that I hate life. Cashmere, merino wool, mohair…I love it all. Oh and the triumphant return of the Pumpkin Spice latte at Starbucks.

Ness – Sheridan: Finally getting to wear those gorgeous sweaters and boots I’ve been drooling over since summer. Why must designers preview fall/winter so early? It’s just mean!

Kim – Stanford: Fall clothes: boots, scarfs, and hot cocoa just make me want to cuddle up by the fire with a good book.

Brianna – Fordham University: Cashmere, my leather motorcycle boots and not sweating my makeup off the second I walk out of my apartment

Kiki – University of Missouri: Those half-zip pull over fleece sweatshirts are my favorite thing about Fall. That and school supply shopping, I’m a sucker for Office Max.