There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.

2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.

3. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
Adorn the helmet with Bon Iver stickers. Do what you must, just stop bitching and moaning and sucking down Parliament Lights and PBR cans like it’s your job. You’ve got a trust fund, you unitard-wearing complainer.

4. Hypocritical much?
So, you spend your time hating on people for being judgmental a-holes? While you sit there and judge them based on the fact that they’re wearing mainstream clothing and maybe enjoy rap music? I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?

5. Sports are not the anti-christ.
I like basketball. It’s fun to cheer for things (I know. Enthusiasm. Scary.) and maybe you should try watching it. Just because a lot of people love it doesn’t mean it sucks.

6. People eat animals. They taste real good.
Don’t tell me how my burger came to be. Veganism is your choice, not mine. Do I tell you how your lungs are turning black when you smoke? No. Do I not-so-politely inform you that your skinny jeans are permanently damaging your nerves? Nopers. Don’t remind me that my sandwich was once a living thing.

7.  It’s okay to like things without being ironic.
I’d love to meet a hipster that can openly admit that they un-ironically enjoy Britney Spears or Fall Out Boy. Even just a couple songs. Come on! It’s catchy! I’m not judging you!

8. Starbucks is tasty. Organic coffee tastes funky.
Enough said. Maybe it’s overpriced, but oh my god, I have never had a decent frappucino at an indie coffee shop. Side note: your indie coffee shop is most likely a franchise, too!

9. PBR is gross.
Enough. Said.

10. Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of spandex and Ray-Bans, can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

[lead image via CREATISTA/ Shutterstock]

If you drink the strawberry frappuccino from Starbucks, the answer is yes. Starbucks’ president Cliff Burrows just announced on the Starbucks blog, “Based on recent feedback, we learned that we fell short of [our customer's] expectations by using cochineal extract.” According to Merriam-Webster, cochineal extract is a red dye consisting of the dried bodies of female cochineal insects. He continued on to explain that cochineal extract is “a natural, FDA-approved colorant found in a wide variety of food and beverage products in the U.S.”  Hey, crushed bugs are crushed bugs no matter who approves them.

Starbucks is working to find an alternative dye for their Strawberries and Crème Frappuccino, Strawberry Smoothies and three food items – the Birthday Cake Pop, Mini Donut with pink icing, and Red Velvet Whoopie Pie. This die is not unique to these popular Starbucks products. We also suggest checking labels on red or orange Sobe drinks and a variety of yogurts and juices that contain strawberry flavoring. Check out a comprehensive list of products here!

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A man created the most expensive Starbucks drink ever. But get this, it was totally undrinkable! Oh, the irony… For his birthday, Starbucks sent 22-year-old Logan Warren a coupon for a free drink of any size with any add-ons. With that kind of offer, you could say the coffee chain was asking for it. By the way, Starbucks, my birthday is tomorrow (wink, wink). Anyway, Warren managed to create a concoction worth $23.60 that contained 16 shots of espresso and 1,400 mg of caffeine — enough to put him in the hospital. Warren also threw in caramel flavoring, a scoop each of strawberry and banana purees, vanilla beans, protein power and more. He now holds the record for most pricy Starbucks drink — and possibly most disgusting.

Obama’s 2013 budget plan means serious cuts for NASA. Though the spending bill for next year hasn’t been approved by Congress yet, it’s highly likely that the space program’s plans will be significantly altered by the cuts. Funding for planetary science would go down by about 21%. Funding will go up for human exploration and space technology, but scientists are still mad about the implications of the changes: basically, that NASA will have to give up planned missions to Mars. Exploration of other planets will suffer as well. And the age-old question of life on other planets? Yeah, we’re not getting anywhere on that.

A man sued a bar for being allowed to continue to play beer pong way too long. So long, in fact, that on the way home the man was hit by a car going over 50 miles per hour and sustained significant injuries. He broke his leg, foot, hip, tore his knees and lacerated his liver. His blood alcohol content was .26… so pretty darn high. The accident took place back in 2009, but a New Jersey judge finally made his ruling — the bar is not responsible for the man’s endless beer pong playing. So, unfortunately, no, you can’t sue that fraternity for continuing to let you play beer pong if you accidentally ruin your dress during your drunken end-of-night snack. Sad.

News broke that Hitler, who was always assumed to be childless, may actually have had a son. Supposedly, Hitler had an affair with a french teenager during his time as a soldier in World War I. The girl got pregnant and gave the boy up for adoption, but the two later reconnected and the man found out the identity of his real father. Evidence includes paintings signed by Hitler and army documents. If the claims can be proven without a doubt, the family has rights to money from Hitler’s book Mein Kampf, which I’m sure they’d appreciate, but would it be worth being known as one of Hitler’s descendants?

Pic o’ the Week:

Obama visited a Chinese food restaurant on Thursday, and one handsy diner got a little touchy with the president’s rear end during a photo. I say, get it girl! An opportunity to grab Obama’s butt doesn’t happen often, and look how much the two of them seem to be enjoying it!

Source: Getty / SAUL LOEB

I am fully aware that Christmas isn’t for another 4,394,668 seconds, but since every other store in the world is getting ready I figured I should start to compile my wish list. You know, in case anyone wants to buy me something other than socks. Grandma, I’m looking at you!

Growing up I hated Christmas, mainly because my birthday is three days after it, but also because growing up with a sister your age meant twin gifts. Which, if anyone I ever know has twins I promise not to do. What are twin gifts you ask? Same gift but in a color suited to the person you’re giving it to. Not only were my sister an I (who are not twins) giving identical presents by relatives, we were also (as four siblings close in age) given quad. present by our parents. The only one to survive the identical gift curse was my little sister. Although she got enough red headed step child taunting from the rest of us to make up for it.

Now you may be thinking I am a spoiled brat and should be grateful for anything I get. Au contraire, mon ami. You see, I come from the school of thought: If you don’t have anything meaningful to give, don’t give anything at all. I hate that during this time of year it’s all about what greatest and latest gadgets we can get (which is sometimes meaningful) rather than what can I get that really means something to this person (*cough* like a blue tea pot filled with mementos *cough*).

Without further adieu here are my top things that Santa should really consider bringing me. After all, I’ve obviously made the nice list…

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Sometimes when people tell me that I should unplug my chargers when I’m not using them, or that I should not run my A/C as much as I do (I live in Florida!), I just brush it off. I understand and care about global warming and climate change, but it seems like such a big thing that nothing I do will help. BUT GUESS WHAT??? Climate change could ruin Starbucks! I’m going to start unplugging everything in my apartment because I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t get my Java Chip Frappuccino in 20 years.

While we all know that college students rely on Starbucks to get them through all-nighters and early science labs, celebrities reply on Starbucks even more. I can’t go a day without seeing a paparazzi picture of some celebrity sipping through a green straw. What are these celebs going to do if climate change kills Starbucks? Maybe then their maids will have to make them coffee. GASP!

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I don’t like any mystery when it comes to my food (Is that a hair? No? It’s part of the salad? That’s interesting…), but secret menus from restaurants is something I do like! Ordering becomes a food-themed treasure hunt at these restaurant — from Starbucks’ secret size, to candy-based smoothies at Jamba Juice (sort of hypocritical but I’m not complaining). These 10 restaurants have more to offer than meets the menu-reading-eye!

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I’m graduating in less than a month. And even though that means I have some pretty great things to look forward to it also means that I’m leaving behind a pretty good life and some pretty good friends. And that’s the reason I’ve been sporadically crying for weeks a little bit upsetting. So instead I’m going to try to look on the bright side. I’m graduating. There will be a celebration. There will be a party. And that means there will be gifts. (There are also a lot of other things to look forward to after graduation.)

And while most of these gifts won’t be nearly as great as the list I’ve compiled in my head (and rightly so), I still feel like sharing it with you ladies. Mostly because I just want to daydream about these awesome graduation presents, but also because maybe one of my relatives will find this article after winning the lottery and feel bad about getting me a crappy high school graduation present all those years ago and surprise me with one of them.

But anyway, back to the point. After day dreaming about my graduation celebration I’ve compiled a list of dream gifts. Not gifts I expect to get. Not gifts I think I should get, but gifts I wish I could get. And now I’m sharing them with you. Get ready to drool ladies.

1. MacBook Air
This one is actually pretty practical. For a long time now I’ve been a PC girl, or a Dell girl to be more precise. But after four years and more fried hard drives and/or motherboards than I care to admit, I think it’s time for a change. Now that I’m out of college I no longer have to worry about my papers being compatible with my teachers and I want to make the switch to a Mac, but not just any Mac, the MacBook Air. It’s tiny and portable, and so, so pretty.

2. A Trip to Greece
Ever since I read The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I’ve wanted to visit Greece. And every time I see it in a movie (Mamma Mia, My Life in Ruins, and lots of other chick flicks) my desire to visit the country only increases. There’s just something about it that appeals to me, ancient and beautiful, and full of gorgeous guys with great accents. A one way ticket is fine, thanks.

3. The iPhone 5
I’ve wanted the iPhone for a very long time. But not enough to give up my Verizon service plan. So I held off on entering the world of the smart phones for a while. Until last summer. When I finally caved and got the Blackberry. Just a few months before the iPhone came to Verizon. So now I have a 2-year Blackberry plan, and can’t upgrade without paying for the iPhone in all its full price glory. Something I will not do. I will, however, accept gifts.

4. A Shopping Spree
Come on, how could I pass up the opportunity to ask for a full-fledged shopping spree? I mean I’ll be a college graduate soon. So that means I need a college graduate’s wardrobe. Wish means I need to do lots and lots of shopping. For lots and lots of shoes business attire. It doesn’t have to be the whole mall, just Macy’s will be fine…please?

5. A Lifetime Supply of Starbucks
Just because I’m giving up all-nighters that doesn’t mean I’m giving up my caffeine fix. In fact, now that I’ll have to wake before the crack of dawn I’ll need my morning macchiato more than ever before. But trenta venti caramel macchiato’s don’t come cheap, especially on a post-grad budget. So if someone else could fit the bill I’d really appreciate it.

What about all the other seniors out there? What are your dream graduation gifts? Do any of these graduation gifts belong on your list?

Although it may not feel like it (what up gloves in March), but summer is coming. And with summer comes tank tops, short shorts and bikinis. You know you want to start getting in shape for all those beach photos, but you also know you’re not ready to cut out all your favorite snacks. After all, what is life without ice cream or cheese? What is a night out without beer followed by the drunk munchies.

Here are some suggestions on how to make your favorite and most unhealthy foods a little bit healthier. Although it’s not exactly the same, these options are still tasty AND they don’t include that guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach when you wake up the next morning spooning an empty pizza box. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself in June, when you’re feeling totally fabulous in that new string bikini.

You don’t need to give up your favorite junky foods while you’re trying to slim down — just keep these tweaks in mind and you’ll be cutting down on a lot of unwanted calories!

It’s probably the latter. But still, I can’t help but think that there are certain shopping experiences that really would be made easier if they could be done with some booze in hand…

1. Swimsuit shopping. Bring on the shots. If it were up to me no woman would ever have to endure such a horror sober. Take a shot of tequila before trying on any one piece. Two for tankinis. Three for bikinis. By then, they’ll all look great.

2. Holiday shopping. Holiday shopping is super stressful and extra annoying because you don’t even get to keep any of the stuff that you spend so much time picking out. You’re giving it all away. So next December get your peppermint mocha or eggnog spiked before you start your shopping.  I think it will go a lot more smoothly…

3. Lingerie Shopping. Similar to the swimsuit shopping experience, except the lingerie doesn’t stay on for nearly as long. Go with wine for this shopping experience. Take your girlfriends and have a little bit of a fashion show, and sip some red wine as you do. It’ll relax your nerves for when you buy the lingerie… and for when you use it.

4. Shopping for School Supplies. With book prices these days drinking while book buying should be mandatory. For every $50 you spend, take a shot. For every $100, chug a beer.  Do it before you head out on a Thursday night and you’ll kill two birds with one stone- school supply shopping and pregaming.

The possibilities for such occasions are endless. Tell me ladies, which shopping experiences do you wish you had a drink in hand for?