[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Why can't we be friends?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Dear Dude,

My boyfriend broke up with me recently. He gave me legitimate reasons and used the “we’re not working, but I don’t want to lose you completely” line, which I’ve received too many times before. But this time, this ex is actually going through with trying to be friends. We broke up on Saturday and saw each other one last time on Sunday when he helped me move my stuff into a storage unit. The strange part comes about 5 minutes after we said goodbye on Sunday. He texted me right after he drove off and continued texting me well into the night on Sunday, and he texted me every day since, multiple times a day. If I don’t text him back, he’ll text me a couple of hours later and we’ll talk for a few more hours.

My question is: Why did he break up with me to just turn around and try to be friends 5 minutes later? My friends think that he’s not done with our relationship and the that 8 hours of distance we’ve had to deal with this summer was too hard for him to manage, and that he’ll try to pick things back up when I get back to school in the fall. I’ve just never experienced a break-up that didn’t end bitterly and that involved a boy that still contacted me on a regular basis. I don’t know what to do. Help!

Sincerely,
As Confused As Ever Read More »

This is nothing compared to the team drama one girl's dealing with

We all got problems, kid. Email it to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com, y’dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is a really really long email, but necessary for you to understand my situation.  I have a bit of a weird situation and I would like to hear what you think. First off, I should let you know that I am on a sports team at my school. That being said, it is a very small team with about eight girls on it. We are a close team but have a lot of drama and tension, which gets incredibly exhausting at times. We also have a guys team of fifteen men or so, which only adds to the drama.

I have history with a guy on the men’s team, let’s call him Fred. Fred and I have dated off an on for the past four years of being in college. He was my first real boyfriend and I was his first real girlfriend. We broke up halfway through freshman year because we wanted to see what else was out there. Sophomore year we had a couple of drunken makeout encounters which were probably not the best idea, but we always tended to gravitate toward each other when consuming large quantities of alcohol. Junior year Fred asked me out again, and we dated for awhile before he decided to break up with me again because he “needed to focus on school.” Needless to say, I was crushed because I had really strong feelings for Fred, so we didn’t talk for almost four months. Fred apologized to me and told me he treated me like a jerk and I didn’t deserve it. I forgave him because I didn’t want team drama and I really did want to be his friend and I still carried some strong feelings for him. Everyone on the team knew about my feelings for Fred. Read More »

Sooner or later, your boyfriend will turn into your ex.So the question becomes: Can you stay friends with the person who once held you when your goldfish died?

Although there is no one answer to a question that has plagued couples (and their new mates) for centuries, there are a few guidelines that can make a confusing time a little easier to deal with.

Most importantly, the circumstances that contributed to the break-up can offer a clue. For most couples who parted on (relatively) civil terms, maintaining a close friendship afterwards only means that one of you started playing for the other team (read: not very common).

On the other hand, staying friend-ly is only a natural progression of a once-intimate relationship. Read More »