Dude!

A few months ago, I finally built up every shred of courage in my being and told one of my closest friends of several years that, well, I didn’t just want to be his friend.  To be fair, I was pretty certain that his response wouldn’t be what I wanted it to be.  The problem was that I had reached a point where I needed him to know so that I could move on with my life. The hardest part was the thought that it would negatively impact our friendship.

Despite the expected response–kind, but painful to hear–he assured me that absolutely nothing would change.  A not-so-gradual distancing began to occur, and there I was again, stressing over this friendship that had meant so much to the both of us. We had one follow-up conversation, which turned out to be extremely helpful.  I got to say the things that I hadn’t clarified the first time around, and he got to confuse me further about how he really feels about the situation.

Welp, here I am, around six months later, wondering how I can possibly mend this friendship that he himself told me multiple times would last the rest of our lives. We’re still good friends, but there’s not near as much communication or connection as there used to be.

It’s hard for me to face the very possible reality that I will never move on as long as we’re friends. He’s made it perfectly clear that he does not want me to cut off communication or “give up on him,” as he calls it (cryptic, right?).  These days it can be upsetting to be around him even in a group setting and think about how we used to be attached at the hip at social gatherings.

Dude, is there any way for me to salvage this?  It feels like too much to bear to lose each other once and for all.  Thanks!

Sincerely,

Sad and Confused

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I’ve been dating this boy for about two months. He’s great, and so far things have been going really well. We spend a lot of time together without getting sick of each other, but haven’t meshed into a creepy and mushy single being like some couples are prone to. He makes me laugh, although it’s usually more at him than with him. He’s GREAT in bed. But best of all, I just feel comfortable with him. I’m not constantly paranoid about checking my makeup or trying to force witty conversation. I can be completely me, and he likes me more for it.

It’s perfect, right?
Not quite.

He has an ex-girlfriend. Not just any ex-girlfriend, THE ex-girlfriend. His first love, the only serious relationship he’s ever had, the girl he was with for his entire college life, the girl his parents thought he would marry. The girl who broke his heart and destroyed his life, but with all the best intentions. The girl who was such a big part of his life that they still talk almost every day. The girl whose mother still tells him he’s the son she never had. The girl he calls when he has a fight with me and needs to sort stuff out.

Of all the ex-girlfriends out there, this one is definitely the most intimidating. How do I compete with this girl who was so perfect? Is he over her? Why aren’t they still together? What if she doesn’t like me, or tries to sabotage this? Read More »

Once upon a time, there was a girl. And her friend. And a boy.

Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl’s like is clearly unrequited. Friend hates boy, friend grows to like boy, friend and boy go out.

And boy, did the stinky brown substance hit the fan.

Rudge from The History Boys defined history as, “one f*%king thing after another.” This can also be applied to the demise of this relationship. One argument turned into some petty fight. Over a boy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but back then, when they had a bust up, to a girl like me who’d always held the Hoes over Bros rule golden, this was sacrilege.

No, there are no happy endings, and no, they never made up. Yes, I am bitter and disillusioned, and yes, this is exactly why I don’t believe in hoes over bros anymore.

On Gossip Girl, Serena did the unforgiveable and slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. And sure, her best friend was angry and wanted revenge, but ultimately, she took her back. On One Tree Hill, Peyton nabbed Lucas’s heart, while her betrayed best friend, Brooke, was hurt. The scenario with my two friends, certainly didn’t end up like this. Three years of friendship and somehow a boy was still more important. Read More »