Rubbing her eyes the following morning, she was greeted by a lightly snoring Derek at her side. Crap, she thought, Colin is going to be so pissed.

Disheveled, Sarah grabbed her scattered clothes and headed to the bathroom to put herself together before enduring the never pleasant walk of shame.

“Ohmigodd!” she practically shouted. Her neck was as thick as her head and her eyelids so swollen she might as well have just lost in the ring against Mike Tyson. Splashing some cold water on her face, Sarah ignored the absolute atrocity that was her appearance and briskly walked back to her house.

Loading up on DayQuill, NyQuill, and hot tea galore, she spent the day nursing her moral and physical hangover — as well as her cold. Hours later, still feeling lousy, Sarah went to the student health center and got a strep and a blood test. The result: She had mono.

Rather than worrying about the state of her body, or (more importantly) her liver, she immediately worried about her hookups. She had both Colin and Derek on a cycle, wasn’t serious with either of them, but had swapped enough saliva with both to infect their bodies with the pesky virus she now endured.

Do I tell them? she pondered, Or just risk it and hope they both get lucky?

This scenario is all too common in college. I think it’s more uncommon to not get mono during your four years at university than to get it. However, what happens when your condition is even more serious? What if you find out you have HPV, Herpes, Chlamydia, or some other STD? Do you tell your current partner (and previous ones), or do you keep the secret to yourself and hope no one finds out?

This ethical dilemma is a scary but extremely realistic issue. According to a 2007 Stanford research study, 1 in 4 college students has an STD. A lot of the young adults are completely unaware they are even spreading a disease because they have never gotten tested. In order protect your partner, you need to actually know you’re infected. If you’re worried about your current state of cleanliness, head to your student health center, campus hospital, or STD testing site.

This conversation, however, is focused on those who have peed in that cup, gotten pricked with that needle (no pun intended), and received extremely undesirable results.

Morally, it’s important to tell your partner about any contagious little packages you may be carrying, from mono to HIV. In order to make sure your partner is protected, you need to wise up and take responsibility for your condition. Doing this is mortifying and difficult, but necessary. If you are in the know and can prevent the spread of a virus or bacterial infection, you should. You would want your partner to tell you, right?

So, we all know there’s a right way to handle the situation. If you’re infected, man up, tell your partner(s), and grab the nearest box of condoms. Ethically, if you know, you tell. If you don’t want to tell future partners, then you probably shouldn’t be in bed with them to begin with. But, as evidenced by the statistics, a lot of people are keeping their dirty little secrets to themselves mentally… and spreading them all around physically.

Even though Sarah only had mono, she proceeded to text each of the boys letting them know about her illness. They each went and got tested, came out of the entire situation mono-free, and were extremely grateful she told them about her virus. Yes, it was not the most pleasant experience for any of the parties involved. Rather, it was awkward and uncomfortable. But, it was a necessary precaution they all needed to take in order to ensure their well-being.

So, how would you handle this situation: Do you have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, or do you share all of your down-below info before getting serious with a special friend? And if you have had to tell previous partners (including old flames, casual hook ups and – eep! – bitter ex-boyfriends), how did you do it?

I'm ready for ya, boys.

If you want be having sex, or be having more sex (and, come on, who doesn’t!?) the best thing you can do is make sure you’re prepared. Getting yourself ready for sex will put you in a mental mindset compatible with getting some. And feeling sexy will send out the come hither vibes that will make it happen.

Even if you’re having a dry spell, you never know when the opportunity to break it will arise, and you don’t want to be held back by granny panties or hairy legs.

Keep Up Your Grooming. Keep your down-there area groomed enough so that you’d comfortable with someone seeing it, should the situation arise. Nothing will kill the mood (or your self esteem) faster than an unkempt forest.

Keep Up Your Birth Control Routine. Don’t slack on taking your pill just because you haven’t been getting any or you’ll be sorry when you actually do! Not only will it mess with your cycle (spontaneous bleeding = bad), but it won’t be as affective and the last thing you want from a night of nooky is a night-of-nooky-bun-in-the-oven.

Be Tested Regularly. If you’re not having sex, you don’t need to be tested every three months, but make sure you’ve been tested since your last period of sexual activity. Health comes first!

Look Nice Under Your Clothes. Wearing sexy underwear can make us feel hot, even if no one sees them. And if that isn’t incentive enough to layer on the lacy goods, just imagine your love interest’s shock and horror when he goes to disrobe you and finds….period stained long johns. For realz, update those underthings.

Know What You Want and What You Don’t. Know what kind of guy and relationship you’re looking for. If you want something casual, make sure he’s clean and respectful. If you want something more relationship-y, don’t settle for a FWB just because you’re horny.

Keep Your Room Clean. Because you don’t want to tell that hottie he can’t come home with you just because you’ve got dirty laundry all over your floor.

In the meantime…

Do It Yourself. Just because there’s no man in your life doesn’t mean you have to be deprived of sexual pleasure. Take care of your needs yourself… it’s good for you!

If you follow each of these steps, you’ll be ready to have sex with the opportunity arises. After all, if you build it, they will come. (Hell yeah that pun was intended!)

Last Christmas, a nice family got together to take a photo for their yearly holiday cards. Last week, that same family discovered their photo…in Prague…being used for a local grocery store chain’s advertising campaign. Weird? Weird.

That little sitch got us thinking about all the photos we post online. Truth is, you never know who can get their grubby little paws on your stuff once you’ve handed it over to the world wide web, especially considering you can never really take it down. Who knows what weird company (CollegeCandy.com) is going to pick up your drunken selfie and splash it on billboards (or websites) nationwide?

It can happen to anyone, even you, drunk girl dancing on a table in the bar. Just look how simple it is:

“Supercuts. Now offering the Kate Gosselin ‘do for dudes!”

“24 Hour Fitness – Specializing in eliminating muffin tops since 2001.”

“VH1 is now holding auditions for Rock of Love Bus 28″

“Match.com. We have a match for everyone. Even you.”

“Dr. Schwartzenstein has been performing successful sex changes since 1981.”

“Alcoholic’s Anonymous can help.”

“Get Tested.”

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/15/your-pictures-are-for-the-taking/feed/ 9 ccandystaff beer goggles kate gosselin hair muffin top two girls making out amie-awkward-family sex changes Drunk_Girl get tested http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/02/how-to-tell-your-partner-you-have-an-std/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/02/how-to-tell-your-partner-you-have-an-std/#comments Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:00:37 +0000 Laura - St. John's http://collegecandy.com/?p=25907 ]]> Here at CollegeCandy, we’ve long urged our readers to go get tested for STDs.  Getting tested for STDs is extremely important, especially when you’ve had multiple partners or have had unprotected sex.  Many STDs take a while to show any symptoms and some people never show any signs of having one, so getting tested is the only way to be sure that you’re healthy and to ensure that you’re not spreading any around.

Ok, so you’ve gone and gotten tested–and the test came back positive.  Now what?  After you talk to your doctor about treatment, the next thing you should do is to tell your partner.  And not just your current boyfriend/hookup buddy, I mean ALL your ex-partners, too, because there’s the chance that they’ve been infected and don’t know it, either.  I know, I know… it’s super embarrassing, but it’s your responsibility to make sure they don’t spread an STD, either.  And, who knows? It’s possible you got it from them and they should know to be checked.

But don’t stress–there are some things that you can do to make the whole ordeal less painful.

First of all, you should know about inSPOT, a site that lets people send e-cards (like the one at the top of this post) to their current and ex sexual partners, telling them that there’s the possibility that they’ve been exposed to an STD, and urging them to go get tested.  There’s even the option to send the card anonymously, if you’d like, which eliminates the embarrassment of a face-to-face meeting.  It’s also a great option if you aren’t on speaking terms with your ex.

However, if sending a e-card isn’t an option for you, or you think it’s better, telling the person face-to-face is the next best option.  Choose somewhere casual to meet, and try to keep as calm as possible.  If you’re nervous, try writing down what you want to say and practice before you talk to them.  I know it sounds corny, but it will help make sure you get out everything that you need to say.

They might be angry with you, which is completely understandable–so be apologetic, and make sure they understand that you didn’t know you were infected. Also, bring along information about getting tested and treatement options.  Most importantly, make sure they know that you’re going through the same thing they are and that you’re there for them.  inSPOT has some more good tips on their website if you want more information.

Do you have that burning, itching, inflamed, oozey feeling south of the border? Maybe you don’t see or feel anything obvious but you just have that nagging suspicion that last week’s man-whore frat-guy gave you more than his number. Either way, it’s time you got checked out.

Even if you don’t suspect any foul play but just want to be on the safe side, you should set up an appointment. Not sure where to start? Here’s everything you need to know before you put on the paper gown.

Where to Go: Taking that first step can be a little scary. Even just trying to find a testing sight can seem overwhelming, not to mention difficult. Sometimes religious activists set up websites mimicking health facilities in order to preach their message. But lucky for you, the Center for Disease Control and Planned Parenthood are the only websites you’ll need on your quest for sexual health. Plug in your zip code or state and watch as your screen gets flooded with every test site in a ten mile radius. The CDC also has a great feature that tells you who offers free testing.

What you should know before you go: Know the difference between “anonymous” and “confidential” HIV testing. Anonymous tests won’t link your name to your results, whereas confidential information could be made available to medical personnel. Be sure to ask about financial costs, how you’ll receive your test results and how long those results will take. It’s always good to know what to expect that way there will be no surprises later.

Testing: I am terrified of doctors, I don’t like the smells, the instruments, their crisp white coats, even the terminology creeps me out (I’m going to apologize for using said terminology below, but hooha and peen just didn’t seem appropiate). The whole experience gives me that pre-diarrhea feeling but I learned the best way to cope is to know what to expect before going in. Here are all the different tests that are out there. It seems like a lot, but different tests are specific to different infections so chances are you’ll be finished after a quick swab and a blood test.

• Blood test: This can test for hepatitis A, B and C; herpes (Although most blood tests for herpes cannot distinguish between type 1 and type 2), syphilis, and HIV.
• Urine test: This can be used to test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV.
• Swab cell culture or discharge sample from the throat, anus, cervix, or urethral opening of the penis: This is used to test for bacterial vaginosis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis.
• Swab DNA test from the cervix or urethral opening of the penis: This is used to test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV. The HPV DNA test is used for women as follow up to an abnormal Pap smear that indicates HPV infection. It is not reliable for testing HPV in men.
• Swab sample from a sore or lesion: This can be used to test for herpes and syphilis.
• Swab sample from oral fluids: This can be used to test for HIV.
• Visual Exam: This can detect crabs, herpes, and HPV.

The Results: So let’s say you did the right thing, got tested, and the results were less than perfect. Don’t freak out. Your doctor will set you up with a treatment plan. There are magic little pills that can clear that mess right up, or at least treat any uncomfortable symptoms and help prevent further infection.

If you still have questions be sure to Ask the Experts and have a Happy STD Awareness Day!

So you’re stuck on campus for Spring Break, watching people flee to warmer climates or their parents’ house. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to be bored. There are plenty things to do on campus that are fun and don’t break the bank.

Have a beach party – just because you’re not at the beach doesn’t mean you can’t pretend you are. Break out the bikinis and shorts, blend up some margaritas and blast the songs that remind you of summer. Invite others that stuck on campus. You might even find a cute boy you can ‘lei’.

Theme parties – Still not in shape to don your bikini? What about another type of theme party? Have a moustache party (no you don’t have to grow one, just squiggle a nice one on your finger and hold it up to your face). Or you could try out our makeup tips for a decade party. Or how about a party from one of those fabulous places you didn’t get to travel this break. Fiesta anyone?

Be a tourist in your city – Chances are while you’re in school you don’t have a lot of time to get out and explore the city or town you’re living in. Getting to know your town is one of the things you must do before you graduate, so why not do it now? If there are museums in your area, find out when they have free admission, or discount days and check them out. Or find all the weird and wonderful attractions and go take pictures with everything! Not only will it be fun finding all the odd things in your city (my hometown has a parking garage filled with life-size cow statues) but you’ll also end up with a fun set of staycation pictures for everyone to look at!

Be productive – You’ve got things to do and now is the perfect time to catch up. Some schools even have seminars during reading week. At mine they have a weeks worth of job-hunting, resume writing, interviewing seminars that may come in handy. And with the head start on the job hunt, maybe you’ll score an amazing job that means you can go away next Spring Break!

Movie marathons – Get together everyone you know for an epically long themed movie-marathon. You could have everyone bring their favorite movie and watch them all, have an 80s movie night, a slasher-flick marathon or a cheesy-chick flick night. Or, if you’ve missed all your favourite TV shows, catch up on those.

Clothing swap – Get all the girls together for a clothing swap. Chances are your closet needs some new life, so trade in the items you no longer wear for something new. It also gives you a chance to get rid of the temptation of any super tight items leftover from that pre-frosh-15 days.

Game Night — Got any board games lying around or know any good card games? Why not have a games night? Are there cute boys around? As they demonstrate in Friends, every game can have the ‘strip’ element added to it.

So even if you are on campus there are plenty of ways to have fun this break. As with any break, there are the people to avoid after you head back to classes. What is everyone doing to recession proof their breaks?

You hear it all the time – in sex ed class, during your yearly trip to the doctor, and during every commercial break on MTV: always use a condom.

But I think we all know that sometimes you can get really caught up in the heat of the moment and you might, well, forget to put one on. Or think to yourself, “I’m clean (and on the Pill), he’s clean – we’re fine!”

I’m not proud, but I know I’ve had a few moments like that.  And never did I ever think anything would happen to me.

Until recently. I went in for my yearly PAP at my campus health center, where testing for Chlamydia and Ghonorrhea is standard procedure. I didn’t think much of it, until I got a call a couple days later to come back in to discuss the results. I got a little nervous, but I definitely didn’t think they would tell me I have an STD.

The doctor came in and told me that I had tested positive for Chlamydia.

I was shocked. She reassured me it was totally treatable and curable with some antibiotics; as soon as those were done I’d be free and clear.

Free and clear of the disease, maybe, but not of the trauma. Or embarassment. I had to think back to anyone I may have gotten the STD from, or given it to. Then I had to call the guy I hooked up with to tell him. He was the only man I’d been with and he was less than thrilled with the news. I felt guilty, but quickly caught myself; this wasn’t all my fault. I mean, we were both there.

After talking with a close friend, I calmed down and realized I’m lucky that it was only that, and not something I’d have to live with for the rest of my life. But I feel like it is. I may not have symptoms, but the reminder will always be there.

I know sometimes it seems like nothing will ever happen to you, but it can. It’s so important to practice safe sex, and more than that, it is absolutely essential that you get checked and tested every year. PAPs are probably one of the most uncomfortable things we will deal with, but they can save your life and prevent the spread of STDs through your campus.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable.

3. Just because you can drink an entire keg doesn’t mean you should. I have too many friends who ended up in a hospital after a night of binge drinking to take alcohol poisoning lightly. If you drink a lot and start throwing up, your body is rejecting what is in it. There’s no other way around it. If this happens to you, you need to start downing water like you wouldn’t believe. All that liquid you’re throwing up is dehydrating you and you need to re-hydrate your body, so drink lots of good H2O, and eat some bread to help absorb some of the alcohol.

If you continue to throw up and it feels like you’re expunging your stomach lining, you need to go to the hospital. Don’t worry about getting into trouble. A scolding from your RA isn’t nearly as bad as, let’s say, DYING. For next time, it’s okay to get drunk; it’s okay to drink a lot, but slooooowwww down. You’ve got to find that perfect place where you’re drunk but you’re not dead. It takes practice but it’s worth drinking only one or two an hour to get there.

4. Friends don’t let friends get date raped. This is an even more horrible experience I’ve seen friends go through. The statistics around this are astounding. Something like one in ten women will be date raped, mostly while in college. But this doesn’t mean you’ve got to become a recluse in order to stay safe. First, buddy up. Don’t go to a party alone and always go with a friend who will make sure you stay safe. She should never be out of your sight for more than a few moments. Preferably, one of you will be sober sister, or at least semi-sober sister. Second, never, NEVER go upstairs, outside, in a car, or home with a guy you don’t intend on sleeping with. And even if you do intend on sleeping with him, tell your friend where you’re going and with who. If you don’t know his name, he shouldn’t be in your bed.

5. Just because it’s consensual doesn’t mean it’s safe. Use a condom. Every time. Without fail. Don’t let him convince you not to use a condom. If he says they’re too tight, buy Magnums (it’s a compliment!), if he says sex just doesn’t feel good with one tell him no sex doesn’t feel good either. The only time you should have sex without a condom is when you’re in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone you trust, when you’ve both been tested, and when you’re on birth control. Find your local Planned Parenthood. They can give you STD screenings and birth control, often for free.

6. Stay safe on campus and off. Many colleges have nighttime car services free of charge to students. Find out about yours as soon as you get to school. They will often pick you up within a certain range of campus and escort you home. It’s like a free taxi ride, so utilize it. Also, having the phone numbers for a few regular taxi companies in your cell will definitely come in handy when it’s three AM and all you want is your bed and a huge glass of water.

7. Keep your RA’s phone number in your cell. You never know when you’re going to get lost in China Town or need bailing out of jail. It’s a good number to have in case of an emergency.

8. Ruthlessly use your college’s free services. Now that I don’t have the luxury of a school gym, career, or counseling center, I’m regretting not using them as much. Your tuition is paying for these services, so use them.

9. The most important four-letter word of all time: TUMS. My friend’s carry a roll of Tums with them at all times. Whether it’s to cure you of cafeteria-induced food poisoning or to help settle your stomach after you’ve mixed tequila with beer in an attempt to create an inventive cocktail, tuck this miracle worker in your pocket next to your Chapstick.

10. If you do drugs, do them safely. Drugs are a reality of college. I could just tell you to say no and stay away from them, but that wouldn’t be very honest or helpful of me. If you do choose to do drugs, there is a way to do them safely. Don’t take drugs from someone you don’t know or don’t trust, don’t take drugs alone, and don’t mix drugs. If your friend takes drugs and you don’t, don’t ditch her just because you don’t approve. Be a good friend, stay with her, and have a conversation about why her drug use bothers you after she’s come down.

And most importantly, enjoy yourself. You’ve worked your ass off for the last eighteen years to get here. Have fun!

[Photo courtesy of sobersensor.com]

I’ve sought out emergency contraception three times since 2002. In the first part of this article, I shared the situations that got me into trouble. In this part, I’ll share how I got out, and my experiences with the pill itself.

TAKE I:

So, I find myself in trouble, due to two factors: first, the drunk and condom-free attentions of my (newly ex) boyfriend, and second, his unwillingness to deal in any way with the consequences. I solve this problem as I solve all others: by turning to lady friends and Google.

My roommate Kristin and I look up the “morning after” pill, and discover that there’s only one clinic within driving distance that prescribes it. We also discover that EC is only effective if it’s taken seventy-two hours after sex; thanks to my post-breakup moping, I have about twelve hours left. It will take two hours to reach the clinic. We scramble to the car.

When we arrive at the clinic, I am escorted into an exam room, where I meet a blonde woman in a lab coat. I explain my situation, and ask for the EC.

She shakes her head at me. I see pity in her eyes.

“I can’t prescribe those pills to you, honey,” she says. “I’m a Christian.”

This is the precise moment when I start crying.

“I don’t understand,” I say. “How can you call yourself a doctor if you refuse to prescribe your patients the medicines they need?”

She looks me straight in the eye. She says this:

“I guess you should have kept your legs together.”

TAKE II:

Given the fact that, when I last asked for EC, I was denied and called a slut by my doctor, I’m understandably anxious about heading in to a clinic with a wrinkled party dress and disastrous hair, ready to medicate away my one-night stand.

The good news: I live in New York now. This means more doctors, and more options. Because this is an emergency, I head for the closest Emergency Room.

I speak to three people before I’m admitted to a doctor. Three times do I state that I need EC. Three times do I request STD testing. I begin to suspect that this whole process is an elaborate test. They’re probably pulling in janitors and security guards from the hall, just to see how many times they can get me to relate my sexual history to a stranger.

Finally, I meet the doctor. She gives me every test in the book, answers every question, describes every potential side effect of EC (breast pain, headaches, puking) and writes me a doctor’s note so that I can stay home the next day. This woman: she is a saint. Praise her.

I get every side effect in the book, and more, but I also get my period by the end of the week. Plus, I’ve survived the whole ordeal without being called a whore. This is an improvement.

TAKE III:

Did you know that you can get EC without a prescription now? I did not! This is why I now have ER bills. However, thanks to lady friends and Google, I now know that Planned Parenthood will hand over Plan B, no questions asked, for $30. So, upon finding myself once again up the creek, I head directly to PP.

I’m there before the doors open. When I get through those doors, however, I find myself passing through a metal detector.

“Pass over your bag for inspection. Anything metal in your pockets, take it out,” says the security guard. “Cell phones, keys, change, weapons, take them out.”

This is creepy. It reminds me that people have died for my right to be here. Yet, despite the fact that people want to blow them up, the Planned Parenthood staff are sweeter and more efficient than any doctors I’ve dealt with yet. The visit is over in ten minutes.

Plan B, again, feels like getting hit by the Hormone Delivery Truck. My chest aches, my head aches, and I’m constantly on the verge of crying or blowing chunks. Yet my period, which I can usually predict down to the hour, just will not come. EC is not 100% effective, and I’m faced with the fact that it may have failed.

When my period comes, several days late, I have to repress the urge to sing it a love song. I also realize that it’s time to go to Planned Parenthood for birth control pills. Grateful though I am for Plan B, I never want to need it again.

CONCLUSIONS:

This is the thing: you have a body, and, if you know how it works, you can take care of it. If you don’t, then you’re in trouble – and that trouble only increases over time.

My first two experiences with Plan B were harsh because I didn’t understand enough about the pill (hence the fact that I took too long to seek it out when I first needed it) and because I didn’t know a reliable place to find it (hence my bigoted doctor nightmare, and my expensive trip to the ER). My knowledge of birth control extended as far as going to CVS for condoms.

Yet my ignorance, though vast, is nothing compared to that of my first doctor – who is a textbook example of what can happen if you stay too satisfied with what little you know, and refuse to educate yourself further. People like that are the reason that the rest of us have to fight to spread knowledge about sex, its consequences, and how best to prevent them.

I’m going to assume that you’re smarter than I was, or at least more well-informed. But, if you do live in the kind of darkness that gives rise to monsters, be the first to break out. Look into your options. Stay well-informed. Share what you know, however you can. Lady friends and Google, I hear, are good places to start.