Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. (You KNOW this.)

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I stole my best friend’s boyfriend.

I know it sounds bad but here’s the situation. She didn’t love him. They were just dating because he asked her out and she was too lazy to break up with him. She was always complaining that he wasn’t thoughtful enough or romantic enough and etc.

But I saw something really special in this guy. Let’s call him T. He is the nicest sweetest person and we always had chemistry. I actually introduced them. T and I had a lit class together and we always hung out. I took him to a party and he though my best friend was really cute so I set them up.

But then I watched how she treated him (not good — making him carry things and complaining about him to me behind his back) and I realized I had developed feelings for him. Read More »

Dear Beyonce,

I am a huge, HUGE fan of yours. I get giggly and excited every time you come out with a new single or video. I will watch even the most boring and endless award show if it means I can catch a performance of yours. And I gush to anyone who will listen about how great you are.

You’re one of the defining artists of my generation. I grew up with you during the Destiny’s Child days, and loved your badass girl power vibe. And you’ve only gotten better. You are a magnetic performer. I am constantly blown away by your incredible energy and your ability to engage an audience. Not to mention your talent for singing and dancing. You don’t fake it the way many pop stars do.

It’s for these reasons that I am so disappointed that you have developed a habit of copying other artists’ work. The most dramatic example of this problem came recently, when Belgian choreographer Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker pointed out that you had copied much of the choreography in your “Countdown” video from her earlier works Rosas Danst Rosas and Achterland. And not only choreography – you used costumes and camera angles that are almost identical to those in films of De Keersmaeker’s work. This video puts shots from “Countdown” and footage of De Keersmaeker’s company side by side: Read More »

While I’m not known for having tons of morals, standards, or values, I do know the difference between purchasing something and stealing it. However, for some reason, taking things without exchanging money at college is not considered stealing. It’s considered hilarious, thrifty, and even heroic in some cases.

Throughout the past four years I’ve improved my stealing skills and I can now easily slip an entire overhead projector into my pants while distracting my professor with nonsensical questions about alternative office hours. And the best part about taking things at college is that it’s not the use that’s important; but rather the obscurity. A traffic cone? Awesome! Frat Composite? Sick! A wheelchair? Stellar!

But now as I sit in my living room looking at the stolen fishbowl full of billiard balls, the cabinet filled with dining hall forks, and the freshman we took to do the housework, I’m starting to realize that it’s soon time for me to stop grabbing everything I can put my hands on. I didn’t realize it had become a problem until I was home over winter break in the mall and I found myself straining to pocket everything that wasn’t nailed down to the floor. I would walk down the supermarket aisle with my mom and whisper “pocket the apples, frozen peas in the purse.” She not only did not abide, but she questioned how she raised me so wrong. ( I have a long list if she’s truly interested one day, but that’s another blog.) Read More »

Sure, times are tough right now. Money is tight. But that is still no excuse for the 20% increase in shoplifting this holiday season. What is wrong with people? Have they learned nothing from all those episodes of family shows where the kids went to steal something, got caught, almost got arrested and then learned the important lesson that stealing is bad?

No? Didn’t watch TGIF? Well, then CollegeCandy is going to teach you a lesson about why shoplifting – especially for the holidays – is bad:

1. No Gift Receipt: How embarassing is it for the person who gets that stolen gift and tries to return it without a gift receipt? Best case scenario: they get a really crappy deal (like store credit on the new clearance amount). Worst case: someone at the store figures out that the gift was purchased with the five finger discount and arrest that poor recipient.

2. Embarassing for You: Imagine getting caught. In your neighborhood Target. Stealing Christmas cards. While all your parents’ friends and neighbors (and your old teachers) stand around watching it go down.

3. So Wrong!: Besides being illegal, it’s Christmas season! This is the season of giving, not taking without paying. What would Santa think?

4. It’s not what the holidays are about: If you can’t afford to get your brother Mario Kart for the Wii, grabbing it and running out of Best Buy with 12 members of Geek Squad chasing you is not the answer. Make him something, get him something cheaper, or just remind him that it is far better to give than to receive. He’ll understand (maybe).

5. It’s a lot of work: The planning, the baggy and unflattering clothes, the running away from the Popo…is it really worth it?

Over the weekend, MTV hosted “BUSTED Live: Countdown to Lockdown,” at their studios in Manhattan, bringing in some of the most infamous “Busted” victims, the officers that busted them, and showing the audience some never-before-seen clips of the show.

Two of the Bustedees were Brittany Bartley and Joshua McLay, both 21, who were caught skinny dipping by Corporal James Davis at a nearby lake in Newton Falls, OH. Corp. Davis added insult to injury on the show after citing that Joshua had been “fishing with a small worm.” This was after co-host Skylar Stone commented on the skinny dipper’s fug teeth and before his partner in crime, Brittany, repeatdedly denied any rumor that they had been hooking-up in the lake (even though Joshy-poo had a slightly noticable hickey on his neck) saying that they are “best friends.”

Yeeaaa she pulled the friend card. Poor guy couldn’t catch a break. Read More »

Single White Female was a creepy film for a reason. If you haven’t been fortunate enough to see such a classic, then you perhaps you wouldn’t be able to see the signs of IDENTITY THEFT when a “friend” suddenly becomes a mime.

It’s natural for friends to take on certain personality traits from spending so much time together. Similar phrases are shared, personal style melds and becomes less personal, and dislikes are much more likable if your BFF sings its praises and persuades you unwittingly while doing so. Those things are natural.

So when I complained about having my personality hijacked by a close friend, a much more forgiving friend advised that, “Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.”

Well, I think that’s bullsh*t.

Imitation is scary and frankly, quite annoying. Buying the same bag, not a big deal. Asking where I purchased my shoes (which, yes, are AMAZING) totally understandable–I was just lucky enough to find them first. Saying “word” just like me every time I mean to say “yes”, understandable (yes is overrated). Getting my same hair cut (bangs included) after saying you’d never be able to pull it off, IS ANNOYING. Plagiarizing entire paragraphs of my stories, my jokes and my soul, is just straight vexatious. Read More »

According to an article on ParentDish, a nine-year-old Girl Scout was recently selling cookies in a supermarket when two teenagers snatched her money (a little over $150) and ran. The teens were later caught, providing a few classic quotes, such as “We went through all that effort…and we had to give the money back.” Yeah, that sucks, doesn’t it?

I think we can all agree that this is a “WTF” moment. You don’t steal money from a Girl Scout, no matter how stupid you are! Girl Scouts, in the eye of the American public, are on approximately the same level as troops in Iraq or bald eagle chicks.

Plus, how traumatizing would it be for the Girl Scout to watch her hard-earned money be plucked away like that? True, I can think of worse things, but not many.

I was a Girl Scout once. Not for long, because I hated wearing the uniform and I wasn’t girly-girl enough to hit it off with all the other girls, but I know what it’s like to shoulder the doom and responsibility of big-ticket cookie profits. Read More »

Remember that weird day in December, 2001 when pretty famous actress Winona Ryder was arrested for grand theft and drug possession?

It’s okay if you don’t. It certainly wasn’t the biggest incident of that year. Still, the event garnered a lot of press, a lot of speculation, and no answer from Ryder.

Today, she’s breaking her silence.

Sorta.

Winona told People magazine recently that she didn’t “have [a] tremendous sense of guilt” about stealing a little less than $5,000 from Saks in Beverly Hills because she didn’t “hurt anyone.” She goes on to say that during the whole courtroom drama, she consciously stopped herself from making a statement and “just waited for it to be over”.

As to the reason behind her behavior, Ryder claims “Two months prior to [the arrest], I broke my arm in two places, and the doctor, a sort of quack doctor, was giving me a lot of stuff and I was taking it at first to get through the pain. And then there was this weird point when you don’t know if you are in pain but you’re taking it.” Read More »

Being the Senior Class President has its perks. Meetings with professors, campus-wide popularity, walking first at graduation…sometimes you can even get free or discounted boarding. It’s a lot of pressure but it’s also a lot of acclaim, and putting it on your resume will definitely get you in a few doors.

Or you could just use the power you have to break into people’s dorms and steal computers.

That’s what 23 year old Christa Olandria, Senior Class President of Livingston College at Rutgers University did. Olandria was arrested last Monday on burglary charges, and is suspect in seven other burglaries that have plagued the campus since September.

She was caught standing outside a dorm room (which she, as an RA, had keys for) as an accomplice stuffed “a laptop computer, a digital camera, a wallet and an iPod case into a duffel bag”. Read More »