In honor of tonight’s Project Runway return (a full 5 hours of it!), I decided to take a trip down PR memory lane. God, I have so many great memories with my Project Runway friends. Like the time I paused the TV for 4 minutes just to see what the hell Jeffrey Sebelia’s neck tat said. Or all those times I asked Andre why he constantly had to embarrass me in front of my friends at the Red Lobster.

It’s difficult to choose my favorite moments from my long term relationship with Project Runway (how can you choose when you’ve got season after season of people like Kayne, Blayne and that weirdo lady who spit on her dress?!), but here are some of the best.

Let’s just hope season six can live up to these distant memories:

Santino Does Tim Gunn

It’s A Mother F**king Walkoff

It’s Fierce

Suede Discusses….Suede

Stella Loves Her Leatha

Then the designers find out they have to design for one another, which is when everything got really fun, because their designs had to be inspired by a certain genre of music.

And someone up above was watching over this situation and fulfilled my dreams of finally laughing at an episode of Project Runway by putting the most ridiculous pairings together.

Here’s the breakdown:

Jerell has to be dressed in rock and roll (where is Leatha Stella when you need her?)

Suede must be donned in punk rock attire.

Kenley is to look like a pop star

Korto has to go country.

Leanne has to rock the hip hop look.

Yeah, this is bonafide comedy fo sho.

The designers go to the fabric store where we see Kenley purchasing a floral fabric (SHOCK!) for a hip hop ensemble (Questionable…) We also find out that Suede classically trained cellist…and he’s dressed Britney Spears?

So much going on. So little time to care.

I really just want to get to the runway show. Until, of course, Tim comes in to do a little advising and totally bitch slaps that ugly red lipstick right off of Kenley’s face.

The problem with Kenley is that she can’t handle ANY criticism. She is like a guy in the bedroom; tell her she did something wrong and she turns her back to you and starts to cry (leaving you forced to finish everything yourself…wait…I think I took the analogy a step too far). I think the girl needs to step away from her hipster collection of vintage vinyl records and realize that she has NO IDEA what hip hop is.

Oh and she better respect Tim Gunn. No one talks back to that man and gets away with it. NO ONE.

So, as usual, Kenley decides she’s not gonna listen to Tim. And now it is time for the most amazing runway since the drag queens. The designers head to hair and makeup where Suede is given a multicolored front mullet, Kenley is totally turned into Britney Spears, Leanne is turned into a white girl trying too hard and Jerell….looks exactly the same.

The designers strut their stuff down the runway and I have to say – seeing Kenley dressed as a total slut, Korto in cowboy boots and Leanne do a “hip hop move” at the end of the runway makes this the best episode of all time. (Oh and did anyone else totally see Jerell’s junk in those pants?!)

Yes, I am including every single season. Even the whole “Andre, let’s go to Red Lobster” sitch.

Anyways, the judges (including LL Cool J…who totally put Kenley in her place…and is so effing hot) deliberated and crowned Korto’s punk design for Suede as the winning look.

Yayyy Korto!

The bottom 2 were Kenley and Suede. According to Heidi (and her terrible metaphor), Suede stayed too safe: “You could have turned up the volume but you stayed silent.” Get it? Cuz he was designing a rock and roll look? Heidi is so clever!

So, Suede was sent home. Wearing metallic green eyeshadow.

That’s just wackadoodle!

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Yeah, I’ll say it: I laughed out loud. And it felt good.

And, being that last night’s episode was all about the Olympic games, I decided it was only fitting to choose an MVP. And, quite obviously, it is going to Blayne and his many hilaaaarious one-liners:

“Other people go to the gym. I go tanning.”

“The Olympics are HUMUNGOUS! SO big. Thousands and millions and billions of people. Heck yeah I’m going for the Gold!”

“In tanning, I’m an Olympic athlete. It only goes to Bronze medal.”

“I just don’t do the Beatles…Sorry Ringo.”

I know he seems to be melting due to his lack of tanning, but I think it makes me like him more. And he has all those bright 80’s Hyper Color t-shirts; he’ll get through it. Oh, and he is MVP purely for what he says. His design sucked.

The challenge this week was to design the outfits for Team USA to wear to the Opening Ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics. Not that they would actually be wearing them. Pshaw! Ralph Lauren designed that sh*t. But, Bravo (owned by NBC, which is running the games) needed to throw the plug in there somehow, so they did.

Anyways, Apolo Ohno explained the challenge to the designers and, in doing so, completely messed everyone up. Apolo, darling, you are cute but you are not too quick. When talking to designers (many of whom are GAY MEN WHO DON’T WATCH SPORTS), you cannot describe the opening ceremonies as, “a fashion show for the Olympics.” These designers do not watch the opening ceremonies and, no matter how many museums they go to, when they hear “fashion show” they will design for a fashion show. Not a sporting event.

And you saw the runway….do you not agree?

The stuff those designers walked down that runway was designed for 1 type of person: a model. I watched that show in horror wondering what those weightlifters/gymnasts would look like in that stuff. One word: AWFUL. These designers ALL missed the mark on this challenge. And it is Apolo’s fault.

In the end, the judges agree with me. (Does that make me REALLY smart, or was this just completely obvious?) Boring Jennifer with her grandma attire gets sent home and Korto takes home the Gold. Personally, I LOVED Terry’s outfit, but maybe the judges were worried about muscley arms fitting into that jacket? Whatever, I want it. Terry, call me!

It was an exciting and hilarious episode and I just hope this is a sign of things to come for the rest of the season. I just can’t f-ing wait for Stella to be called out by the judges/PETA for her constant use of leatha, for Suede to stop saying things are “Wackadoodle” and for Daniel to test his sexuality with Kenley. That would make my year, fo sho.

Wet Hot American Summer was the brainchild of David Wain and Michael Showalter, previously of the MTV sketch comedy troupe The State. If you have ever seen the show, or other projects from State Alumni like The Ten, Reno 911! and Stella (not to mention various other writing and directing gigs like Balls of Fury and Night at the Museum that seem made for a wider audience) then you will sort of get their schtick–humor from randomness and obscure reference. They aren’t trying to make a lot of sense, and in that lies the brilliance.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Wet Hot American Summer satires the camp movies of the late 70’s and 80’s, but also sort of satires satire itself. It’s the last day of camp, and everyone is scrambling around to find a summer hookup or work on sketches for the Big Talent Show or even save the world. The cast of characters is massive and each group has its own hilariously satisfying subplot.

The main character, Coop, played by Michael Showalter, is in love with Kate, who is falling for Coop but still in love with her boyfriend Andy (played to awesome perfection by Paul Rudd). Andy likes to make out with Lindsay (Elizabeth Banks) regardless of whether or not her face is covered in barbecue sauce. Lindsay has been known to make out with the camp slut Abby. And this doesn’t begin to address everything going on.

It may sound like a lot for one movie, maybe too much, but it all works to perfect, hilarious affect. Wain, Showalter, and the other members of the State do their best work in ensemble films and you can really tell with the ease at which all the subplots are handled and paid off.

My favorite character in the film is Gene, the camp cook, played by Law and Order SVU (and Oz)’s Christopher Meloni. He’s shell-shocked from his stint in Vietnam and not only is his best friend a can of vegetables, he also likes to hump fridges and fondle sweaters. Out of context it sounds crazy, I know, and it’s really not much more explicable in context either.

Again, many people will view the movie and, like most of the critics who tried to watch it too literally, just not get the humor. Honestly, I’m not such a huge fan of some of the State’s other works (Stella, namely), but their style really works to best effect in Wet Hot American Summer, from the huge cast, to the unexpected and out-there twists, to the general oddness that permeates through every scene. They had fun making the movie and, if you can suspend your disbelief, you should have fun watching it.