Last night was overwhelming; between the return of Gossip Girl and another episode of The Hills I just couldn’t stop trembling with excitement. Luckily, the shows weren’t back to back and I had some time between to make some pizza matzoh. Delish.

While I chomped away on my Passover snack, I watched an unusually high amount of drama unfold. Even for this group of girls. The entire episode made me feel uncomfortable; like watching Meet the Parents, or The Office when Michael and Jan had the dinner party. It felt like every possible weird combo of people possible in L.A. happened. The only thing that would have been worse was if Jason showed up with his weird post-rehab wife. And then started making out with Heidi.

I mean, how awkward is it that Audrina is friends with Heidi who is friends with Stephanie who is friends with Lauren? And, as we all know, Stephanie also happens to be the sister/roommate of Spencer. She really is at the center of the drama and, somehow, has gotten everyone to trust her. Lauren wants her as a friend; Heidi wants her as her boyfriend-bashing confidant; and Spencer wants her to clean up after him.

How is it that knowing she is mixing with all parties, everyone seems to keen on trusting her/confiding in her/not questioning her shady motives? Especially Heidi! Is it normal to not only stay best friends with your ex’s (or that guy you are currently on a relationship vacation with’s) sister, but to also talk so much crap about him to her? They do live together, Heidi.

Read More »

My apologies for yet another delayed follow-up to The Hills. It seems that my bed was the only thing I was thinking about Monday night as I passed out before 10PM. It wasn’t until yesterday morning when I received a text message from my friend (“Does Stephanie Pratt Curl her bangs?!”) that I realized the atrocity I had committed.

I rushed home from work to catch up, and even though MTV aired a double feature again, I was left with many questions:

What is up with Stephanie’s bangs?

How does Lauren’s hair go from long to short to long again?

And what exactly is Ms. Stephanie Pratt up to? Read More »

Last night was the season premiere of The Hills and all I can say is, wow. I have been counting down to this moment for a long time. I even had a party to celebrate it. But even I couldn’t have anticipated just how spectacular the whole event was going to be.

A pre-show.

Mariah Carey.

An hour-long episode (with commercial breaks that seemed a lot shorter than normal).

It was fantastic.

As you all know, last night’s episode picked up where last season abruptly ended some three months ago: Lauren and Whitney arrive in Paris, while Heidi and Spencer work through the many failings of their overly public relationship. I am ashamed to say this, but after watching I was extremely disappointed with Lauren and (gulp) actually kinda respected Heidi.

Before you throw tomatoes at your computer screen, hear me out. Read More »

Is it just me, or was last night’s episode of The Hills kinda boring? Not 3-hour-lecture boring; more like this-could-totally-be-a-day-in-my-life boring. From Lauren and Brody’s gray area to Audrina’s first date with the new boy, to Lauren and Audrina’s Halloween party (that included Pabst and beer pong!), watching it felt watching my own life!

It was almost as if MTV realized just how unbelievable the show was getting so they scaled it back to remind people that Lauren and her fabulous friends are just like the rest of us.

But mixed in with all that normal-ness was a small drama side dish a la Heidi and Spencer. Oh, and Sister Pratt. And to be honest I can’t really tell who in this situation bothered me more: Read More »

I have had enough.

While I don’t really love Audrina – she’s not the brightest crayon in the box and her teeth are sorta big – I can not sit back and watch a sister get trampled on by any guy, let alone a guy like Justin Bobby.

I want to jump into the TV (I have even considered joining the lame-ass Virtual Hills) and smack some sense into this girl, but my new TV is really expensive and I don’t want anything to happen to it. Sure, she ended things with the d-bag last night, but I can see it in her eyes that she still wants to go back for more.

And I seriously can’t let that happen.

So, I decided to do what I do with all my friends dealing with a difficult breakup: make the pros and cons list. You know; list the dude’s pros and cons, see him in all his crappy glory and finally feel good about kicking him to the curb.

Here goes the Justin Bobby pros and cons list. I hope this makes Audrina’s decision a little easier on her soul:

Pro:

Someone to snuggle with

Con:

Greasy

Pro:

Someone to talk to (when he picks up her calls)

Con:

Weird obsession with hobo-inspired headwear Read More »