I have been following the life of Lauren Conrad since she was livin’ in her palatial mansion back in Laguna Beach and crushing on (questionably gay) Stephen Coletti. In that time, I have watched every episode on the edge of my seat, screaming at the TV for one reason or another, after which I would write up my a recap and post it to this site.

Well, tonight I decided to do things a little differently. In honor of the premiere of the 4th season of The Hills, I will be bloggin’ it live. No more editing my thoughts from the privacy of my computer. Nope; those bad boys are coming at you in the moment.

So, watch with me as we follow the lives of our favorite L.A. ladies and feel free to IM me at CollegeCandy27 if you too have something (mean) to say to Lo, or the sudden urge to reach into your TV and smack Heidi across that plastic thing she calls a face.

9:13 PM: Only 47 minutes to go. I suppose I can watch a little Olympic Beach Volleyball while I wait…or make an ice cream sundae! Calories don’t count when you’re watching not-so-reality TV, right?

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Last night’s episode of The Hills made me realize three things:

1. I hate Lauren. Ok, hate is a strong word, but I am a little peeved. This girl has like zero talent, yet Us Weekly names her the Celeb Designer of the year and she gets to move into this fabulous new pad? With a pool and a guest house?
2. Watching the show on a regular TV versus my HD makes Heidi look much less scary. The less sharp the picture the better.
3. Stephanie Pratt’s hair gets bigger each episode

So, obviously, the main event last night was the big move for Lauren, Lo and Audrina. And obviously, Audrina gets shunned to the guest house out in the backyard. That’s not awkward or uncomfortable at all. I guess it works out well for her, though, so she can sneak shady JB in and out without Mama Conrad finding out.

To celebrate the new digs the girls throw a mansion warming party and everyone who is anyone is there. Brody comes with his boobtacular new lady (and a juicer!), Stephen comes with a bag of Jelly Bellys and JB comes with a new ‘do. And I have to admit: he looked really cute…until I noticed the 80’s style cut off denim vest he was sporting. Baby steps, I guess. Baby steps.

Stephanie Pratt was invited, but couldn’t make it after being guilt tripped by her bro (who frequents Central Perk, apparently) and Heidi. Both interactions really make me question Ms. Pratt’s mental state. I have to ask again: does she really think that everyone is going to be ok with her being friends with LC? She acts so surprised every time she is confronted and I just don’t get it. This girl really needs a mental evaluation. Or maybe I, like everyone else involved, have just been totally duped by Her Pratt-ness and this is all part of some big evil plan. I can almost hear her cackling in the back of my head.

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