Paris Hilton has recently directed her career in a new direction, exploring the field of neural surgery. …Kidding! Because it’s actually worse.

Nickelodeon sweetheart (has-been? has-she-ever-been?) Amanda ‘A is for awkward’ Bynes will be introducing her new clothing line, Dear, in Steve & Barry’s stores on August 16th. Police are still in the process of investigating which hallucinogens Steve and/or Barry were on when the line was approved.

If you were one of the innocent channel surfers who fell to witness Bynes’ tragic sitcom flop on her show with Jennie Garth and that guy from Saturday morning TV circa 1998, I’m sure you are shaking your head in utter confusion to this painful news.

If you, in even more dreadful circumstances, were unjustly subjected to that She’s the Man soccer flick where not even Channing Tatum’s fantastically sculpted abs could pardon a pre-pubescent male-disguised Bynes who seemed misled to believe that apparently speaking under the guise of a muddled Southern accent would make her seem more manly, then you will undoubtedly be unable to fathom my next five words: her clothing line is worse. Read More »

When I heard that Carrie Bradshaw, excuse me, Sara Jessica Parker was launching a clothing line named “Bitten” with mall-based Steve & Barry’s, I clapped my hands in glee. I imagined the cutting edge outfits and fabulous accessories I still idolize whenever I plop down for SATC marathon—sort of like Forever 21 to the next level. But I won’t be switching loyalties anytime soon, Bitten pales in compassion.

The spread in this month’s Glamour looked so promising too, all the outfits looked more or less lovely, if a little uninspired—until I read the captions. The dress that caught my eye in one shot was actually by Burberry, the striking top in another was by Oscar de la Renta, the fabulous jacket by Chanel… Only the most basic and quite frankly boring pieces where actually from the new line. Read More »