I met him my first night of college. Although not the fairytale every girl imagines, we hit it off in the basement of a fraternity house. It was a passionate, whirlwind love affair that lasted about a month. Long story short, we don’t speak any more. I took it as a learning experience about relationships and the healing process was not easy.

It was an early morning over winter break when I got the call from my gynecologist. I was expecting the phone call and was prepared for her to tell me that I was perfectly normal and she’ll see me in a year for a checkup. She was reading through the list of diseases saying they all came back negative, until she said, “But, your HPV test came back positive. You have what’s called high risk HPV.” I couldn’t think of anything other than getting out of hearing range of everybody in the house. So, I ran into the kitchen and asked, “What do I do now?” She seemed so calm about the whole situation and just insisted that I make sure to come back in three months for a follow-up appointment, and to call her if I had any questions.

As I hung up the phone my whole first semester flashed through my mind. My birthday, Halloween, my best friends’ birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas… I had this disease the entire time. The girl down the hall had supposedly reached the double digit mark for people she had slept with, and I had only been with one person the whole semester. I kept thinking, “Why me?”  But, I already knew the answer. The girl down the hall probably used a condom every time. I remembered all those times when I brushed off the need for a condom because I was on birth control. An 18-year-old would never be able to get an STD, I told myself, especially when she only chooses to have sex with the “good” guys. But, it happened and I realized that I was not invincible, like I thought I was.

There are a lot of decisions to be made in a long-term relationship — whose friends to hang out with more often, if and when to cohabit, whose place to crash at more often, and what you’d both like the future to look like. Once sex enters the relationship – whether if it’s on the first date or on the first night of marriage, there comes a whole new set of decisions to make.

For most couples, I think it’s fair to say that the go-to contraceptive plan usually involves condoms and some form of birth control (we were always told that two methods are better than one). Once that decision has been made and acted upon, the following months of getting-to-know-each other getting it on are usually passion-filled and use enough latex to make David Suzuki’s earth-loving head explode.

But regardless of what we’ve been taught, and regardless of how much we know we should be using condoms every single time no matter what, there does typically come a time in which the “should we go bareback” conversation will inevitably arise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge proponent of safe sex, and I would never suggest going condomless outside of an LTR or without a backup form of birth control, but let’s be real here – it feels better and it’s just so much more convenient.

Yeah, I went there. Read More »

Sarah woke up one Sunday with an aching pain in her throat. The night before, she had felt a bit sick after a week of intense studying and paper-writing. But, deciding her sanity was more important than her health, she threw back a few shots of Jose and hit the town with her girlfriends.

Rubbing her eyes the following morning, she was greeted by a lightly snoring Derek at her side. Crap, she thought, Colin is going to be so pissed.

Disheveled, Sarah grabbed her scattered clothes and headed to the bathroom to put herself together before enduring the never pleasant walk of shame.

“Ohmigodd!” she practically shouted. Her neck was as thick as her head and her eyelids so swollen she might as well have just lost in the ring against Mike Tyson. Splashing some cold water on her face, Sarah ignored the absolute atrocity that was her appearance and briskly walked back to her house.

Loading up on DayQuill, NyQuill, and hot tea galore, she spent the day nursing her moral and physical hangover — as well as her cold. Hours later, still feeling lousy, Sarah went to the student health center and got a strep and a blood test. The result: She had mono.

Rather than worrying about the state of her body, or (more importantly) her liver, she immediately worried about her hookups. She had both Colin and Derek on a cycle, wasn’t serious with either of them, but had swapped enough saliva with both to infect their bodies with the pesky virus she now endured.

Do I tell them? she pondered, Or just risk it and hope they both get lucky? Read More »

I realize that most of us don’t live at home anymore; that most of us are no longer in high school or living with parents. But I stumbled upon this study recently and can’t stop thinking about it. In a nutshell (because I know the last thing you came here to do was peruse some scientific study), Dutch parents support their teenagers’ sexuality – even letting them have sleepovers – and it results in lower STI and lower teen pregnancy rates. Some of the lowest in the world!

Perhaps the Dutch are onto something – something we need to think about as a generation who will, most likely, have children of our own someday.

Having survived high school, it’s interesting to look back and see how different my friends’ parents were from each other and from mine. Some friends had absolutely no communication with their parents about sex or sexuality, some were taught it was wrong and immoral, others that it was natural and acceptable – so long as you’re smart about it. Read More »

I remember when the Gardasil phenomenon first started.  Commercials for the vaccine were played on MTV approximately every three seconds, and within weeks, everyone I knew was rushing to the gynecologist for their three doses.  And why wouldn’t they? The commercials and doctors promised that the vaccine would prevent cervical cancer and who wouldn’t deal with the momentary pain of a shot when it comes with a promise like that?

For the few of you who haven’t had your doctor insist you get it (if there are even any of you out there), Gardasil is the vaccine that promises to help prevent certain kinds of HPV, including the two types of the virus that are often the cause of cervical cancer.  Because there are no real symptoms of HPV, it has become an epidemic and doctors have urged patients to protect themselves with this revolutionary injection.

But while the vaccine can do amazing things, it has also devastated thousands of lives. Read More »

Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Guy: “I have a goldfish.”
Girl: “….. What?”
Guy: “I thought we were talking about things that don’t matter.”

There’s nothing that says I’m a creeper more than a terrible pick-up line comparing your eyes to the Pacific ocean (or the Gulf of Mexico, eeks). Maybe the only way to fix this creeper catastrophe is to take the bull by the horns…. and hope it doesn’t blow up in your face. Read More »

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, like our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – even peeing after sex – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am 23-years-old and have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I got the Gardasil shot last year and my paps have been fine until I got my last Gardasil shot. The doctor told me my pap was abnormal a couple months after my 3rd shot. Was the shot what caused the adnormal pap? The other doctor took a look and did not find anything so she did not do a biospy.

I went back 8 months later and she found a small wart and removed it. I do not know what to do or how to feel? Should I worry now that I have HPV? Should I stop having sex? My boyfriend has not had any problem and I heard that they can not be tested anyway. What can I do to prevent getting warts? Sorry to ask, but we have been having oral sex as well does that mean we both have it in our mouth? I just do not understand what I did wrong. I have been on birth control as well. PLEASE HELP… I only been having sex with one person for 6 years but I feel so helpless.

A: I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with an abnormal Pap smear and HPV. But believe me- you’re not alone. Up to 80% of us will contract HPV at some point in our life, and HPV vaccination isn’t perfect. Gardasil only guards against the four most common strains of HPV, but there are many more.

No, the vaccine didn’t give you HPV or cause your abnormal Pap smear. It doesn’t work that way. It may simply have been given too late.  You may have contracted HPV before you received the full series of vaccinations and the virus is just wreaking havoc now. There’s no way to know whether you already had HPV or whether you just caught it, but it’s a strain the vaccine doesn’t cover. Read More »

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, like our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like post-sex soreness – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I found out that I have HPV. So, having sex with my boyfriend, does that mean he has HPV too? And if either of us perform oral sex – can the warts then be transferred to our mouths? Will this lead to cancer? On the paper I got back from the doctor it said to come back in 12 months for another pap smear; will it get worse by then? I’m nervous.

A: HPV can be a sneaky bastard. Unlike sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea and chlamydia, HPV can hang around, unexpressed and asymptomatic, then suddenly rear its ugly head with little warning. Chances are that your partner also has HPV. In fact, chances are good that your boyfriend gave it to you. But it’s possible you could have contracted it from a prior partner and that he doesn’t have it. No way to know for certain, so the best strategy is to behave as if he doesn’t have it, just to protect him.

It’s unclear to me whether you have warts already or whether your HPV just came up on a pap smear. If it’s just a pap smear, chances are good that you carry the type of HPV that causes abnormal paps and cervical cancer, but not genital warts. The good news about this for your partner is that these strains of HPV tend to cause nothing in guys (which is why guys are passing it around like candy. They don’t even know they have it). Read More »

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like the getting over your fear of sex– so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I recently started hooking up with a boy who has, well, gotten around. I asked him if he’d been tested recently and he said he did (and he was “all good!”), but I don’t know if I trust him. Maybe he’s just saying that to get in my pants? I obviously plan on using a condom when I sleep with him, but are there any things I can look for before I go down that path?  Any visible signs I should pay attention to so I know if he’s telling me the truth or not?

A: Honey, if you can’t trust the guy, do you really want to sleep with him? I mean- yeah, there are some things you can do to check him out, but it’s not necessarily enough to protect you.  Make sure you care enough about this guy that, if you do get a sexually transmitted infection, it’s not the end of your world. Because the truth is- even if he got tested for “everything,” you may still be at risk. Read More »

I’m one of those girls who religiously pees after sex. I read an article at some point in my life (probably in Cosmo when I was sneaking it at 15) about how peeing could prevent UTIs. Combine that with the fact that I inherited my mothers insanely-active bladder, and I can’t imagine not taking that trip to the potty. Sure, it sorta kills the romance and puts cuddling on hold for a minute, but I’ve never had a UTI so I think that makes it worth it.

I’ve also heard girls talk about how peeing after sex could prevent STDs and pregnancy. I’m less than convinced, but could there be some truth in it? Does urine have some secret healing powers? I decided to investigate the idea of peeing after to sex to see if it really does anything…or if we’re all missing out on quality cuddles for nothing.

Most research finds that peeing after sex may reduce the possibility of contracting a Urinary Tract Infection. Peeing after sex can prevent UTIs because “it can help remove unwanted organisms from the urethra, which may reduce the risk of urethral infections.” While it’s not a guarantee, what do I really have to lose by running to the bathroom naked to clean out my urethra? I’m not a fan of any unwanted organisms in my lady-parts, so if peeing after sex will flush them out, I’m game.

So if pee can rid me of that evil bacteria, can it do the same for sperm? Read More »