[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“This isn’t science! This is just a worm with a staple in it!”

“No, no. I don’t think I’d want to sleep with any of those directors. They all look like this one guy I worked with once.”

“Rachel – when I saw you out there, I could see why Dave likes you. No, wait – you’re Allison, Rachel’s the girl I’m dating.”

“Jesus christ! I was a turtle in high school!”

“A turtle is like a c**t.”

“All-male Vagina Monologues.”

“Vagina Monologues in funny voices!”

“Munchkin Vagina Monologues!”

Girl (into her cell phone): “I know, I totally thought the cab would be free if we made out in the back.”

“I’m… I’m sorry. Everything’s gone so wrong, I never meant for this to happen – we drank all the beers.” Read More »

Seems like these days everything in the news is depressing: Chris Brown’s arrest, the crappy economy, thousands of layoffs (GM just cut 10,000 jobs), the Octuplets mom lying about her financial situation, the A-Rod/Steroid scandal, just to name a few. It’s like all you want to do is down an antire Duncan Heinz cake and cry into your pillow.

But it’s not all bad.  The Westminster Kennel Club 2009 Dog Show (AKA: happiness on a leash) is happening right now. OMFG! Puppies! Yay!!

And if puppies don’t brighten your Tuesday (monster!), I don’t know what will. Get your dose of sunshine, rainbows, and doggy faces right here. Read More »

This looks healthy.

There is going to be another Hasselbeck running around.

Will Obama’s bailout plan work?

The Biggest Losers love their armpits?

Looks like the Arrested Development movie is a go!

That’s awkward, Mrs. News Anchor.

5 fashion choices that turn men off.

President Barack vs. Elephant Barack.

This tattoo can’t be real, can it?

Mischa Barton will do anything to get back into the limelight.

Dorm food causing some…er…digestion issues? Try yoga!

Larry Flynt and Joe Francis are all over the current economic crisis. And they are definitely two dudes we should be listening to.

Flynt, the fat guy who founded Hustler, and Francis, the genius creep behind Girls Gone Wild are outraged at the fact that the economy has bent the porn industry over and given it to them hard. Too graphic? Sorry.

Let me, rephrase. Apparently, XXX DVD sales have dropped a whopping 22%! That’s enough to make anyone’s panties jaw drop…

Flynt says that with the economy at a low, sex is the farthest thing from people’s minds (I wonder where he’s gettin his info from, cuz we’re pretty sure it’s not the farthest thing from our mind) and “It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

Yes, Congress. Share some of that sexual appetite we know you are all hiding, you sexy lawmakers, you.

The two men are asking for a $5 billion bailout and Mr. Francis himself is marching up to Washington to propose the bailout himself. Um, really? Seriously?

This gives whole new meaning to a stimulus package.