I met him my first night of college. Although not the fairytale every girl imagines, we hit it off in the basement of a fraternity house. It was a passionate, whirlwind love affair that lasted about a month. Long story short, we don’t speak any more. I took it as a learning experience about relationships and the healing process was not easy.

It was an early morning over winter break when I got the call from my gynecologist. I was expecting the phone call and was prepared for her to tell me that I was perfectly normal and she’ll see me in a year for a checkup. She was reading through the list of diseases saying they all came back negative, until she said, “But, your HPV test came back positive. You have what’s called high risk HPV.” I couldn’t think of anything other than getting out of hearing range of everybody in the house. So, I ran into the kitchen and asked, “What do I do now?” She seemed so calm about the whole situation and just insisted that I make sure to come back in three months for a follow-up appointment, and to call her if I had any questions.

As I hung up the phone my whole first semester flashed through my mind. My birthday, Halloween, my best friends’ birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas… I had this disease the entire time. The girl down the hall had supposedly reached the double digit mark for people she had slept with, and I had only been with one person the whole semester. I kept thinking, “Why me?”  But, I already knew the answer. The girl down the hall probably used a condom every time. I remembered all those times when I brushed off the need for a condom because I was on birth control. An 18-year-old would never be able to get an STD, I told myself, especially when she only chooses to have sex with the “good” guys. But, it happened and I realized that I was not invincible, like I thought I was.

There’s a lot of things that come with having a grown-up, healthy sex life. Our sex ed classes were taught by those who preached about “sexual health,” but never really explained what that meant. Does it just mean going to the doctor or are there more things that can fall under the umbrella of “sexual health”?

There’s a lot more to leading a healthy, sexually active life than just visiting the doctor (though, we’ll talk about that too), so let’s take a look at what we can do to live those sexually healthy lifestyles we’re always told about.

Be honest with yourself and your partner. Are you ready to be having sex? Have you thought about the possible long-term implications and responsibility that comes with being sexually active? The important answer here isn’t just whether it’s yes or no – but it’s that you stay true to whatever that answer is. If being sexually active isn’t in the cards for you at the moment, be honest about it, own it, and don’t ever do anything you don’t think you’re ready to do.

Get on birth control. If and when you decide you’re ready to get naked with another person, you must get yourself on some form of birth control. There is no excuse for not using protection, and unless you’re planning on having a child anytime soon, it’s best to get yourself on birth control stat. If, for some reason, being on hormonal birth control isn’t an option for you, check out responsible alternatives such as condoms (which you should be using with BC anyways), or IUDs. (Editor’s Note: Seriously, ask your doc about an IUD. It’s the best thing I ever did.) Read More »

There are a lot of decisions to be made in a long-term relationship — whose friends to hang out with more often, if and when to cohabit, whose place to crash at more often, and what you’d both like the future to look like. Once sex enters the relationship – whether if it’s on the first date or on the first night of marriage, there comes a whole new set of decisions to make.

For most couples, I think it’s fair to say that the go-to contraceptive plan usually involves condoms and some form of birth control (we were always told that two methods are better than one). Once that decision has been made and acted upon, the following months of getting-to-know-each other getting it on are usually passion-filled and use enough latex to make David Suzuki’s earth-loving head explode.

But regardless of what we’ve been taught, and regardless of how much we know we should be using condoms every single time no matter what, there does typically come a time in which the “should we go bareback” conversation will inevitably arise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge proponent of safe sex, and I would never suggest going condomless outside of an LTR or without a backup form of birth control, but let’s be real here – it feels better and it’s just so much more convenient.

Yeah, I went there. Read More »

If there’s one way to complicate a friendship, it would be to add sex to the mix. This “hook-up culture,” as it has been so nicely labeled by middle-agers, seems to be the norm on college campuses everywhere. Students are much more likely to have a few drinks and go home with a friend, than go on a “real” dinner-and-a-movie date.

In a way, it kind of makes sense. There aren’t many people that we trust more than our friends, and when you spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex, it’s easy to let the hormones kick in and go with the sexy flow. It’s easy to have sex with a friend – someone who may have even picked up on your likes and dislikes from your previous trysts.

With a friend, sex kind of feels natural — something that was “a long time coming.”  And this is the part where I make the blatant statement that everyone with a FWB doesn’t want to admit – believe it or not, having sex with someone on a regular basis, even when you don’t put a “label” on it, is still a relationship.

Maybe not the kind of relationship in which you call each other late and night just to say “I love you,” or the kind where you bring them home to your parents  — but it’s something. You’re still single when you have a FWB, of course, but if sex is happening on a regular basis, your partner deserves the exact same courtesies that a boyfriend or girlfriend would.

I have a rule, and not to push my beliefs onto others, but it’s something that I feel pretty strongly that all people should follow: if you’re having sex with someone, they deserve to know if you start f**king someone else. Read More »

Condoms often get a bad rap. Their amazing qualities (they prevent STDs and pregnancy, people!) are often downplayed by horny college boys, because “sex doesn’t feel as good” with them on. While I think a slight loss in sensation is a small price to pay for your health and piece of mind, I’ve decided to put together a list of rockin’ condoms that even the drunkest frat boy wouldn’t turn down.

Here you go: 5 Condoms That Make Sex MORE Fun!

Trojan Vibrating Ring Condoms
Turn his penis into your personal play-thing with these condoms that come equipped with a vibrating penis ring, enhancing both of your sexual experiences! The only downside is that the vibration only lasts 20 minutes, and with such intense sensation down there, he probably won’t last much longer either! But it will be good while it lasts. Trust.

Flavored Condoms
Turning his penis into a Popsicle makes oral sex more enjoyable for you, which means it will be more enjoyable for him. Win, win? Just make sure you find a flavor you like; these ones can be hit (mmm chocolate) or miss (ew, banana). Read More »