The movie follows the novel quite loyally, so if you’ve seen the film, don’t expect any surprises as far as plot goes in the book. But don’t worry; it’s not a waste of time to read if you’ve seen the movie! You don’t read A Clockwork Orange for the plot or even the story; you read it for the experience. Now, this requires a bit of explanation.

This book is written mostly in English, but a good majority of it is written in a slang that Burgess created called Nadsat. Derived from Russian, a lot of common English words are replaced with their Nadsat counterparts (ex. viddy = to watch, horrorshow = good, devotcha = girl). At first, this part of the book is confusing and many readers find themselves overwhelmed and give up. That’s understandable, as one literally needs a Nadsat dictionary (included in the back with most editions of the novel) to even make sense of the sentences. But that’s the fun of reading this book! It’s an experience.

As you progress further, you find yourself needing the dictionary less and less. You start to learn the language! This learning experience also echoes themes and events in the book, which I find make it even more interesting.

The novel is essentially about an English boy, Alex, who, with his gang, commits horrible crimes all over his city and feels absolutely no remorse. One night, they commit a particularly horrible act (which actually happened to Burgess’ wife – this is depicted quite graphically in the movie) and Alex is caught. He is sent to prison and given an option: if he undergoes a new, experimental treatment, he will be released much sooner than if he serves his sentence out. He opts for the experimental treatment and the novel chronicles this and his experiences once he is released.

A Clockwork Orange is a fantastic book, with not only an interesting story, but a unique experience! If you’re looking for a book that is more than just entertaining – one that gets you to think too – then A Clockwork Orange is a great choice.

Every. single. time I find myself in a room full of boys, the conversation inevitably turns to threesomes (or farts, but that is a whole different article). From the jokes, “Dude, we can totally eiffel tower her,” to the stories, “And then she asked if she could bring a friend!” guys can’t get the threesome of of their minds.

Being that I have never taken part in one (shocking, I know), I never really understood the appeal. After all, sex with one person is fun enough, and haven’t you always heard the old adage, “three’s a crowd”? Why, then, are guys so completely obsessed with bringing an extra body into an already exciting situation? If it ain’t broke (which I can say sex most definitely is not), why turn it into a threesome?

Our resident boy gives us the lowdown.

Being in a relationship is great, but getting there totally sucks. You meet someone, start to like that someone and then go crazy trying to figure out if they like you, why they aren’t calling, if you should text them, if you should have kissed them, if telling them you love The Hills was too much information…

It sucks, which is why I think one-night stands are the way to go. Seriously, if you are safe (read: wrap that sh*t up) the one-night engagement is a total win/win. And here are 5 reasons why:

1. No expectations: When I meet a guy while ordering a round of Soco and Limes at the bar, I never think to myself, “Wow! He could be the one!” We both know that our relationship will last approximately 6 hours (if that long) and then we will both go our separate ways. No wondering when he’s gonna call, or if he also wants 2 kids and a Puggle. You do your thing and move on. The end.

2. You can try all those crazy positions: Since you’re never really gonna see the dude again anyway, why not try the Arm Chair? (Look it up.) If it goes poorly (and he ends up with a black eye) it doesn’t matter – you won’t be fraternizing with him again. And if it goes well you have mastered a new position for the next dude who buys you a cocktail.

3. It’s a good story: Good sex, bad sex or no sex (too much alcohol doesn’t always lend itself well to doin’ it) there will most definitely be a great story attached to it. And who doesn’t love a great hookup tale?

4. No late night food: Let’s face it; when you go home from the bar with the roomies someone always ends up making drunk dip/ordering a pizza. When you go home with a boy, however, food is the last thing on your mind. Unless it involves licking it off the other person. Plus, sex burns calories.

5. Learn what you like: Practice makes perfect and sex is no exception. The more you have, the more you learn, and one-night stands are the perfect study sessions.

But give me my own bathroom.

Co-ed bathrooms are one of college’s biggest mysteries. Who thought it would be a good idea? Who decided that it would be totally cool to completely devoid college kids of any type of privacy? Did none of the inventors of co-ed bathrooms ever have a crush?

And if they did, how could they fathom perhaps bumping into that crash while they still had pimple stuff on their face and crow’s nest on top of their head?

I just don’t understand it. The bathroom is sacred. Private. It’s not a place I want to discuss homework or chat about the newest TV show.

I don’t want to step out of the shower and come face to face with the captain of the lacrosse team. I don’t need that sort of horrible awkwardness in my life.

Also, in case no one’s noticed, guys and girls take very different approaches bathroom etiquette. Guys often think nothing of taking the entire sports section into the stall with them and staying in there for hours, while girls prefer to get in and get out without anyone really seeing.

Dealing with a dining hall “situation” (that bean burrito went through you a lot faster than expected) in a public restroom is bad enough, but passing a guy going into a stall at the same time as you? Incredibly, painfully embarrassing.

Has anything good ever happened in a coed bathroom? Has a romance ever blossomed by the hair-clogged showers or toothpaste encrusted sinks? Have the genders ever come together in perfect harmony underneath the harsh florescent lighting? I don’t think so.

After years of strict separation in high school, many freshmen probably look upon co-ed bathrooms as a titillating experience during their first weeks, but as time goes on, they learn the tired lesson that bathrooms aren’t for sharing.

Got a co-ed bathroom story? Let us know!