Ok, so a lot of you didn’t like us ripping into California yesterday – we get it. And we’re sorry for being mean and rude and stereotypical, but we were just. so. angry. This whole Prop 8 thing has us really heated up – we can’t sleep, we can’t work, and we can’t stop drowning our anger and tears in whatever food happens to be in our sights (yes, that includes a near frozen waffle).

We are just baffled by some people’s blatant disrespect for others, not to mention their need to control something that has nothing to do with them. We really feel that sexuality is fluid, that anyone (yup, even you) could one day find yourself in love with someone of the same sex…and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Because this topic is so near and dear to our hearts right now – and since we don’t have the money to fly out to California and beat those idiots into submission – we thought we’d have a chat with our boys about sexuality. Granted, our boy doesn’t speak for all boys (especially on this topic), but he is always so insightful. And he was the only one awake this morning at 4am when we couldn’t sleep and needed someone to vent to while we shoveled pudding into our mouths to heal our battered hearts…

Got something you want our dude to discuss? Let us know in the comments below and we’ll be sure to get his thoughts!

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Ladies, what do we love most?  Hot men? Looking fabulous? Exotic locales? Yes? What if I told you that you could have all of the above, in one tidy, effable package?

Meet Yigal Azrouël: sublime fashion designer and personality. The Israeli import has been showing his fresh, modern collections on runways since 1998, and is known among fashionistas for his expert draping techniques. His work is well-loved by Natalie Portman, Salma Hayek, and Sarah Jessica Parker. (Hey, if your work gets the thumbs-up from SJP, you’re made like lemonade!)

I know what you’re thinking: he’s a designer, he can’t possibly be “batting for my team,” right? Wrong. Yigal is straight… and maybe single. There have been rumors of him sweeping Katie Lee Joel (wife of Billy) off her feet , though I wouldn’t blame Katie Lee for fleeing the coup. Take a look at Yigal’s rugged mug, and Billy Joel–well, let’s just say he’s seen better days.

To have Yigal around would be nothing short of titilating. Imagine a life filled with frequent travel (New York, Paris, Milan–you know, the usual), a self-made man and a smokin’-hot wardrobe designed expressly for you. Excuse me, I think I’ve just described heaven. Yigal, I heard effing was so in for summer. Let’s pioneer that trend, okay?

Let me make no mistake: Anderson Cooper is a stone cold F-O-X. They should change the call letters of his station from CNN to E-F-F, because when I tune in, all I see are Anderson’s steely blue eyes telling me he wants to jump my bones.

But Anderson isn’t just a journalistic automaton–the guy’s got substance. After graduating from Yale, he didn’t have a job and simply decided to fly himself to far-flung locales like Burma and Somalia to cover wars as a freelance journalist, which he wrote about in his book. He gained recognition for his hard-hitting news coverage, landing him a spot as a CNN reporter and anchor of the program Anderson Cooper 360. Known for his grit and endurance for reporting across the globe, Anderson also starred in the documentary Planet in Peril, about the most critical environmental issues facing the earth today.

But all work and no play would make Anderson a very dull boy. He is well-known for being down-to-earth and plugged in to today’s popular culture. He’s a BIG fan of Real Housewives of Atlanta, (as he’s professed on many talk shows), and has a Facebook and a Twitter. He made a big splash a few weeks ago (literally!) when he challenged Olympic swimming legend Michael Phelps to a mini-swimming race. Anderson may have lost the race, but ladies won the chance to see our favorite journo jock shirtless on national television. Most recently, he co-hosted CNN’s New Year’s Eve special with Kathy Griffin (whose wild remarks have been the talk of bloggerati since yesterday), where he professed his resolution to blog more in 2009. Will I be hanging on his every effable word? Yes, yes I will.

Don’t worry, I’ve read all the gossip. I could care less if he loves men, women, or panda bears–I’d like to dispatch Mr. Cooper to my bed to experience some of his hard-hitting coverage. “Anderson Cooper’s Effability” is the only breaking story on my news feed.

A: Well, honestly, I do think you’re overreacting–but it comes down to personal preference and opinion, so if his sexuality is something you can’t deal with, then you’re not right for each other.

Before you start drafting your “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, hear me out. Let’s say he’s 100% straight as an arrow–you do realize that he would notice other women besides you, right? And as much as you may hate it, he would probably form some opinion on how hot your friends are, too (though if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll keep it to himself). So what’s the difference between him noticing other women or other men? He’s still choosing to be with you.

Is it possible that you’re a little worried about friends’ reactions? Since you’ve been with him for a couple of months I’m assuming it wasn’t a dealbreaker–you did continue to date him after all. I actually dated a bisexual guy a few years ago, and the experience was not much different than dating a straight guy–for me, hearing that he was bi was like hearing that he loves dogs or hates seafood. Some of my friends were a little bit shocked when they found out, so his sexuality was only an issue when I started feeling defensive about it.

Another possibility is that you might just be a jealous person. Have you had the same fears about your straight boyfriend checking out your friends or other women? Are you worried about your current boyfriend checking out women and your female friends, or only the guys? If this is a recurring theme in your relationships, it’s not something that will go away unless you confront it, regardless of the sexual preferences of your future partners.

Of course, you might be just genuinely icked out about it–but that’s something you have to figure out for yourself. Would I dump a guy over his sexual preferences? No–but you have the right to feel however you feel about it. Likewise, he has the right to be with a partner who accepts this part of him, and if that’s not you, then it’s only right to cut him loose. I may not agree with you, and I may feel like you’re overreacting, but that’s based on my opinion and my experiences. I wouldn’t sleep with a Republican, and I’m sure there are plenty of people that would tell me that I’m overreacting and being judgmental, but I have the right to feel that way.

Would I be disappointed if a guy broke up with me over my sexual past? Sure–until I realized that if he’s grossed out or bothered by my feelings and experiences with sex, then he’s probably not at all right for me. Figure out how you feel about it and then act accordingly, but do it soon; don’t drag the relationship out and lead him on if your gut is telling you to leave. You both deserve better than that.

Got a question for Pillow Talk? Email pillow.talk.cc@gmail.com and we’ll tackle it next time!

[Image Via Mediabistro]

By all other accounts, he’s your average college male: he’s got ESPN.com as his homepage, he wears the same three t-shirts on a rotating basis, and drools over Jessica Biel. But when the movie came out this past spring, he begged me to come with him to watch it in theaters. I remember waiting on line outside the box office with hundreds of other women and a few other couples, when one of the men came up to my guy and nodded his head in my direction. “She dragged you, too, huh?” My boyfriend smiled proudly and said, “Nope! She’s never seen the show- I love Sex and the City!” The poor stranger gave me a sorry look that clearly said, honey, your man is hitting for the other team. I hadn’t really thought about it before then, but since the SATC incident, I’ve always kind of wondered…could my man be gay?

If you’re reading this and you’re thinking to yourself, “my guy has had some questionable moments,” take heart. This new online quiz for women asseses your man’s perceived sexuality through twelve multiple-choice questions. I took it myself and I can vouch that all superficial qualities are addressed in the quiz (would he rather listen to Cher or Linkin Park? Would he rather go to a Broadway show or a hockey game?).

And while no conclusive evidence of your man’s sexuality can be proven through an online quiz, it may give you some peace of mind: Carrie Bradshaw-lover and all, my man checks out as “straight as an arrow.” Phew!

Well, no. That’s only a little bit true. That’s actually barely true at all. I don’t want to be saddled with unfair prejudice in the workplace, social and religious spheres, and military. So let me refine that statement a bit.

I wish I could be into dudes.

Not quite the same thing, really. I’ve always been a fan of the Kinsey scale when it comes to human sexuality, since “gay” and “straight” are so painfully restrictive. So let’s just say I wish I could ding my rating up a few points or two.

I’m perfectly happy with women, of course. Ladies, you guys are great, and I mean that. It’s not like I’m not getting enough variety in my sexy diet or anything. And honestly, friendship-wise, I tend to be one of those wimpy boys that has more female than male friends and always gets called “a really nice guy”. So what’s up, man?

Why the thirst for testosterone?

It’s a matter of principle. See, I’ve always believed that gender expression is mostly socialized. Girls get dolls, boys get dump trucks, that sort of thing. Switch them around and little girls would grow up to be seven feet tall with full Thoreau neck beards – no kidding, man. And from a very young age, us dudes have basically been told: “Hey! Check it out! Boobs!“

And so, being the modern enlightened male who totally doesn’t buy any of that biological determinism crap, I suspect that the only reason heterosexuality is such a widespread phenomenon is sheer weight of tradition. Sure, without heterosexual couples the human race would eventually vanish, but you know who has a population problem right now? The planet Earth. Being gay is a pretty decent way to avoid unwanted kids.

So sexuality, like gender, is totally flexible. And if I can get you in a corner, I’ll talk your ear off about it.

But I don’t feel comfortable talking the talk if I can’t walk the walk (alternately, a rather more vulgar phrase that sorta rhymes with “walk”). When straight men get terribly excited over the whole “sexuality is a social construction” thing, it often feels like a flimsy cover for “we want more girls to make out at parties”. Or it’s a nice way to sound erudite and sensitive while still being a pig in practice (“It wasn’t ‘cheating’! Monogamous relationships are a socially defined tool of the patriarchy!”). Without living the sexually-liberated, performative-gender dream, I feel like I’m just some egghead poseur. Like I’m a hack.

So what it’s come down to is this: I feel guilty for being straight. I’m trying, man. I’ve tried gay porn. I’ve tried getting my close male friends in hot tubs and drinking heavily. But I just can’t help it: I have yet to want the penis. Clearly I’m a slimy jerk who’s willing to make up all kinds of pop sociology to get in a girl’s pants, as well as contributing to the global population problem. Is this the new frontier for liberal guilt? Yet another majority to hate yourself for being part of?

Maybe I just need to meet another sensitive, confused, wanna-be guy like me. And maybe he needs to be Harrison Ford. We’ll see how it goes.

Bo got his stitches out and these reality dating shows need to give me a counter at the bottom of the screen so that I know how many days have passed.

The group goes on a field trip to a tattoo parlor. Tila wants to know how far they’ll go for her because based on who “proves their love”, that’s whose family she’ll meet. Everyone has to get a tattoo, piercing, walk on broken glass or sit in the electric chair.

Lame. Brittany wants to get a tattoo and I forbid you to get Tila’s name tattooed on your body. Of course Tila is disappointed when Brittany takes time to think about it. Screw you; YOU get a tattoo, Tila. Kristy gets a star tattoo on her neck. I’m sure that the cameramen are disappointed that it’s not on her ass. Is she really a model?

George is going to walk on glass. Please drink a 40 before you do that. OH MY GOD. Tila is only interested in these people when they eat animals genitals or bleed for her. I cannot believe that he’s not cut.

GET OUT – Tila is going to walk on glass -0 and that’s because the glass is fake. Seriously? That’s stupid. George is going home for being a baby.

Bo is getting a tattoo of a shot glass on his calf. Um, Bo should be exempt because he has a freaking PLATE in his JAW. Jay is utterly unmanly — put your shirt on when you give your interviews! You have NO muscle under that layer of fat. Jay gets his first tattoo on his back and it looks ridiculous on him.

Lisa is going in the electric chair and 1) I’m not surprised and 2) I’d think that it’s fake. She’s tough though, so I don’t think that she’d exaggerate pain.

Brittany thinking that she’s a loser for not going – she gets a belly button ring. Brit, take it from me, a belly button piercing is pretty meaningless, it’s not painful and it’s not permanent, so calm down. Kick her off, I’m done with her.

Kristy wins a “sexy” date. Bo and Jay get the “romantic” date. The other three get a “dirty” date.

All of the dates are gonna be the same – make out time. Kristy is going to try on lingerie with Tila and what is it like to FILM this if you’re a straight man with all of the girl on girl make out and lingerie?

The Bo and Jay date is next and for whatever reason, Tila decides to spend alone time with Jay (read: make out with him) and Bo gets sloppy seconds.

George, Brittany and George strip down have to do body artwork. Tila tells Brittany that she’s the kind of girl that grows on her. Like athlete’s foot?

Cut the BS with Lisa already, Tila. I am as straight as you are and I’m attracted to Lisa.

Next day they have a BBQ and I forgot that Bo would have to be on a blended diet. SO the challenge is to eat some nasty ass blended hot dogs. Blended with pig vomit? I can’t watch this; I will totally throw up on the keyboard.

No shock that Lisa won yet again and she gets to go into Tila’s bedroom. Could you stop feeding everyone chocolate covered strawberries? Thanks. And she’s not fickle; she’s just not stupid enough to tell you that she loves you after spending a total of 47 minutes with you.

Eliminations!

Get the EFF out of here, picking Jersey Jay first. Kristy and her booty are bringing Tila home. Final four are Lisa, George, Bo and Brittany.

Bo gets a key because he’s so busted from being on this show.

George is out. What a waste.

Oh, good, Brittany is finally going home.

Wait – whhhhaaaattttt? RIZZO is going home?!?

I am utterly shocked. Lisa has been my front runner with Bo the whole time – I hate when I’m wrong. Dammit.

Next time: Meet the parents.

The guest ref is a beast. Poor Kristy is wrestling Lisa. Sucks for you and your fine ass, Kristy. George camera-insults Jay for his Jersey b1tch attitude. Scotty is the worst for being unable to beat midget Corey Haim.

Glitter shockingly beats Brittany and I’m saddened that George never got a chance to fight.

Winners get a date in a room that was decorated to look like a candy shop, and Tila’s dressed like kiddie porn.

The losers are invited in after the winner date and Tila encourages them to have a food fight. The poor interns who have to clean this up – oh, nevermind. After they are all doused in sugar, they have to clean it while chained together – something about a lack of team work. Um, they wrestled. That doesn’t involve teamwork. Then Kristy makes out with Tila and this is ridiculous.

I guess it’s the next day and Tila’s going to make them tell her who should stay and who should go. This must have happened last season, too. Here’s how it breaks down:

Scotty – I don’t know because Glitter cries. She doesn’t think that anyone should go home. I can’t believe that she leaves her commune to strip and do reality TV. So I don’t know what the group decided with Scotty.

Glitter – she got the overwhelming GO.

Jay – the guys were all GO. I’m with the guys.

George – it was mostly STAY with Jay the Jersey Douche being the only exception. George’s penis will dwarf yours, Corey Haim light.

Brittany – that’s a GO. Boys say GO, girls say STAY. Why are you crying?

Lisa – Overwhelming STAY.

Bo – Overwhelming GO. Wow. Don’t cry, man. Tila’s keeping you around, I promise.

Kristy – Overwhelming STAY.

Lisa gets a free pass for the next elimination. Everyone except for Bo and Lisa are going on a group date by the pool. These dates are so lame because they don’t leave the premises. Glitter “steps it up” by getting naked. Stepping it up always involves some level of nudity. Jay, put your effing clothes on with that shriveled floppy penis. You’re scaring the lesbians. And this straight girl.

Bo gets alone time after the group date. He gets dressed up like he’s a waiter at a catering hall. How long are these dates – 15 minutes? Three hours? How does he kiss when he got a plate surgically implanted in his jaw like eight minutes ago?

Tila puts on her thinking face to make a decision.

Eliminations!

Jay somehow gets the first key, followed by Bo and his plate jaw.

The last three standing are Glitter, Scotty and George. Come on, not again, George.

Glitter is out because she is too emotional. She has so much heart, so much love – so, so many tears and pounds of glitter.

Scotty is going home because Tila only sees him as a friend.

So six remain and I think that Tila will be making the choice between Lisa and Bo.

Next time: tattoos, walking on glass and Tila probably makes them drink a bull semen mudslide because the producers forget that this isn’t “Fear Factor.”

Oh, Tila, maybe this time it will work for you.

So Tila is newly single and 15 guys and 15 girls arrive to compete for the affections of the MySpace ho. Tila comes out in gold booty shorts saying that it didn’t work out with Bobby and that she’s still bi. And by bi, she means a liar.

She wastes no time and starts with a boys vs. girls cage dance off in order to win Tila time. She encourages them to remove clothing and of course a girl removes her top and Nick, the elder care specialist, drops his drawers. I’m not amused by the shot glasses blocking out body parts; it’s not clever.

The girls win and do they recycle MTV houses? I only saw one episode, but it looks like they covered Domenico’s faux marble with blue and pink carpets.

I like that we know everyone’s occupations. Will they keep their jobs after this? There are way too many people from New York and New Jersey on this show.

I won’t name names because it’s pointless to do that at this point — except for Boston Michelle, because she has a wicked awesome accent.

Tila makes them perform in a talent show which is totally boring and then two girls end up making out. Shocking. And shocking-er? Tila sees it. Of course.

Girl eliminations: The maker outers are told, “Give me back my key and get the f*ck out of my house.” Is that how she rolls? I like.

Six leave and they do their requisite shot.

The boys, who have been left out in the cold and in the cage, are up.

(Um, does anyone watch “Viva Hollywood“? OMG. Vinci and Berto doing their love scene. Ha. Remember “8th and Ocean“? Yeah, I barely do, too.)

Tila changes out of her booty shorts and I see twins. Christ, here, too?

Chad, who I think needs to be my drinking buddy, teaches me the phrase “wang bone” and drunk Mohawk kid needs to go home.

Jay from Jersey is like every bridge and tunnel guy in the clubs. Someone calls him Corey Haim and I was totally thinking that. Are they gonna fight? Is this scripted?

The guys have to perform a fashion show.

Nick the elder care specialist presents Tila with an actual d*ck in a box and he’s so going home.

Boy eliminations: Nick and his penis are out. Some other guys are out. The mohawk is wasted and sent home. Tila sends home a twin.

I have no predictions. I decided that I would indeed like to drink with Chad and walk on the beach with Kyle.

This season: Oh, they all sleep in one bed? Chad punches Bo in the soul patch? Fire pits and tears and I bet that they are already casting for season three.

You didn’t think we’d forgotten about Zac, did you?

We certainly didn’t. And with the big news of HSM3 hitting the Disney-fied airwaves in the near future, we just had to point out a few things:

As it stands, it seems like there’s a whole bunch of girls out there who are holding out for Mr. Efron, and while we shouldn’t judge these feelings some of you are harboring for the guy, we can giggle a little bit when we see him in outfits like these.

And also, he’s a guy known for starring in musicals. Not promising, ladies.

Nonetheless, until Zac decides where he stands personally, we al know where he stands professionally. His cash-cow High School Music is officially in production and Zac and his Hollywood Hipster-Gone-Soft self is pumped! Get it?

We have nothing against the guy. Really, nothing! We just don’t like fakers. Or liars.

On a more serious note, however, it will be interesting to see just what route HSM3 will take. Will Vanessa’s part be shrunk down to a cameo-sized tidbit? Will it be “The Zac Show”? Will Ashley Tisdale even bother to show up? Only time will tell!

Anyway…he’s probably not straight, girls. There I said it. Maybe it’s time to get over it?