Easy.

It’s like your mom always said: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Even if you aren’t exactly Julia Child, you can still follow instructions, and that’s all you need to do to bust out a romantic dinner that’ll have him drooling for your food and bolting with you to the bedroom.

Trust me, it’s way better to make food for your dude than take him out. Anyone can whip out a credit card, but it makes you look extra-special if you can whip out a spatula and use it like you’re supposed to. Plus, it’s obviously sweeter to make dinner than to buy it, and it gives you the opportunity to tailor what you make to what your guy really likes. (And it might even inspire him to cook for you . . . swoon!)

Before you get carried away, don’t go all Bridget Jones and try to make super-fancy recipes for multiple courses. Keep it simple, especially if you don’t have a ton of cooking experience. Odds are, your guy loves the classics: what meat-eating man would deny a nicely grilled steak or a plate of spaghetti just like his mom used to make?

So set out that tablecloth, light those candles, put on some tunes, and give these two tried-and-true recipes a whirl.

CHICKEN PARMESAN LINGUINE
6 oz linguine
1 chicken breast
1 tablespoon butter
2 garlic cloves, sliced thinly
6 oz mushrooms (any kind works)
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, shaved or grated
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Fresh parsley to garnish

1. Boil linguine for 8-10 minutes in a pot of salted water. Drain.
2. Chop up the chicken breast in bite-sized pieces.
3. In a saucepan, melt the butter. Add the garlic cloves and chicken pieces. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until chicken pieces begin to brown.
4. Add the mushrooms. Stir occasionally until the mushrooms release juices.
5. Add the white wine. Simmer until it’s reduced. (That means until all the wine is gone-zo.)
6. Add the heavy whipping cream. When it starts to bubble, turn off the heat and pour in the Parmesan, basil, and pepper. Combine the sauce with the noodles.
7. Garnish with the parsley right before serving.
8. Watch your boy melt into your hands like butter in a skillet.

CHOCOLATE FONDUE
8 oz dark chocolate or chocolate chips
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon hot water

1. In a heavy saucepan over low to medium heat, melt the chocolate with the heavy whipping cream. Stir often.
2. When the chocolate is melted and smooth, stir in the vanilla, sugar, and hot water.
3. Serve with cubes of pound cake, berries, or other fresh fruit. Or, you know, just stick your finger in there and lick it seductively. Whatever works.

The ladies of Tough Love were back last night and, as on the first two episodes, sexy Steve had a sexy lesson up his sleeve. He instructed each girl to set up their own photoshoot where they demonstrated what “sexy” means to them. The definition of sexuality is personal and unique to each individual, so this photoshoot would reveal how the women feel about their bodies and what they think men find attractive. The main test here is whether the girls can recognize the thin line between what is considered sexy and what is actually slutty.

Arian (Miss Party Girl) totally missed the boat and went straight for nudity and soft-core porn poses. Although I am definitely not surprised by her choice, I’m disappointed that she wasn’t able to see the point of this test. She knows that her ultra-sexual nature is what landed her in a Tough Love Boot Camp, so why did she waste this valuable learning experience by regressing? And with whipped cream, no less?!

Natasha (Miss Fixing the Wrong Guys), however, surprised me when she looked like she was ready to beat a man into submission and make him kiss her boots. Who knew she had that kind of sexual confidence? Go on with your bad self, girl!

When Steve had a focus group of men critique the photos, they all agreed that “confidence is sexy.” They were put off by Arian’s skanky posing and Stasha’s (the European drill sargeant) over-exposure. What did the guys find the most attractive? Smiles, playfulness, and seeming comfortable and confident.

In attempts to drive the lesson home, Steve plans a lingerie party for the girls to teach them to be comfortable in their own skin and to test their comfort zones. Each girl was set up with a date and Steve was to watch them and see how they handled themselves. Most girls had issues wearing the lingerie, but Taylor (Miss Gold Digger) had issues with her date (and the booze). It didn’t take the girl long to find out how much money her date made and she immediately wrote him off for not meeting her financial standards (“My guy was broke!“). She even said it to his face, which just made me want to reach through the screen and grab that man for myself. Is he rich? No. Does he have delicious muscles? YES.

Then there was Arian. I was proud of her for wearing a conservative outfit to the party (I was expecting nipple covers and edible panties) and abstaining from talking about exes. But after only knowing her date for an hour or so, she treats him to some goodies… in her bed…with massage oil. Hey, at least she did well during the first half.

But let’s get back to Taylor. After drunkenly throwing her body all around the room, she gets called out for her Gold Diggin’ ways. And that is when her too-thick eyeliner starts runnin’. Taylor explains that she’s a gold digger because she’s had a rough life and knows it would be easier with money. Some may fall for her crap, but I don’t know if I really care. Taylor is obnoxious and I’m not sure she’ll ever change. And with that said…I’d like all the men Steve sets her up with that she rejects.

And that is Tough Love.

So, do you agree with Steve’s methods? Do you think his rules are correct?

I have never liked blueberry pie. In fact, I would even go beyond that—I’ve always thought it was disgusting. I am not the biggest fan of fresh blueberries, either, but lately I have started to like them more and more.

Despite all of this, last week I could not stop thinking about how I really wanted to make a blueberry pie. Why did I think this… why? I have no idea. I am still unable to explain it. But I suspect it was divine intervention, because the resulting blueberry pie was THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER EATEN.

The recipe is dunce-free (not that CC readers are dunces, of course) and uses fresh berries, which I suspect is the real reason for my enthusiasm behind this pie. All previous blueberry pies that were set in front of me were either a) made from cans of blueberry pie filling or b) things that I refused to eat because I was under the impression that I hated blueberry pie.

This recipe is different. Different! It is wonderful and fantastic, and it is beautifully photographed in an appealing step-by-step fashion. You cannot mess up this pie. It tastes delicious either warm or cold. It is nice to have with cream, ice cream, or Cool Whip. And it does not become a disgusting, gelatinous mess (although it would be okay if you cut down the amount of cornstarch a little). The best part is that you can really pack the pie with fresh berries (I even threw in a few sliced strawberries):

You can even reduce the recipe with no problems. To make a four-serving mini-pie, I used 1/3 of all the ingredients and it turned out great. Delicious. Fantastic, even. The only word of caution I have is this: Please, I beg you, put your pie pan on top of a baking sheet coated with wax paper or parchment paper. My pie bubbled over in the oven, and I was on my hands and knees for a half-hour scraping fresh blueberry juice off the bottom of the oven.

Really, though, it was still worth it.

Here’s a simple Q&A to get this party started.

Q: What’s better than ice cream?

A: Ice cream cake, of course.

Q: What’s better than ice cream cake?

A: Ice cream cake that’s not very bad for you—low-guilt ice cream cake, if you will.

Q: How are you going to impress your friends and family on the 4th of July?

A: By making them this beautiful, low-guilt ice cream cake!

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, roll up your sleeves and get ready, because this is the simplest ice cream cake EVER. It has four ingredients:

• 1 pint low-fat vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt

• strawberries

• blueberries

• powdered sugar (optional)

So, here’s what you do:

First, slice almost a cup’s worth of strawberries (you’ll need about another cup of whole strawberries for the cake’s top). Set them aside.

Take the ice cream out of the freezer and let it get a little melty around the edges so that it can be shaped and molded. When it’s reached that consistency, slide it out of the container. Cut the ice cream in half lengthwise. Take one half and do your best to mold it into a rectangle shape with a flat top (a knife can be helpful here). Create your rectangle on a fancy plate or serving dish. That’s your first layer for the cake.

After you’ve built that layer, arrange the sliced strawberries on top. If you have too many strawberries to fit in a single layer, you can double- or triple-layer them so that they all fit, but keep the cake as flat as possible.

On another working area, mold the second half of the ice cream into a rectangle that’s as close to the same size and shape as you can get it to the first rectangle. Stick it on top of the sliced strawberries. If you have spare ice cream or if the ice cream is really melty, you can use the extra to fill in the areas between the two layers.

On the top of the double-layer cake, set the blueberries and whole strawberries in a nice pattern of your choice. Stick the cake in the freezer—it can stay there until you’re ready to serve it.

As you cut slices, sprinkle powdered sugar on top of them. Beautiful, delicious, and a heck of a lot tastier than fireworks.

[Photograph courtesy of Flickr.]

The quintessential dessert of summer is the strawberry shortcake, and for good reason. There’s even a licensed character named after the dessert, for crying out loud. So when you make one, you want to make it good—and no, that does not involve picking up a four-pack of preservative-loaded, Twinkie-like “shortcakes” from Walmart.

What, you’ve never made your own shortcake before? Then you, my friend, are seriously missing out. Allow me to be your guide for your first foray into the world of better-tasting shortcakes—once you’ve entered, you’ll never look back.

For two nice-sized shortcakes (a little bigger than those store-bought lumps), you need:

• 2/3 cup flour

• a generous sprinkle (about 1/8 tsp) salt

• ½ tsp baking powder

• 1 ½ tablespoons sugar

• 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream

• ½ tsp vanilla

Preheat your oven to 350, and take out two separate bowls. In one bowl, stir together the flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar until it’s well combined. In the second bowl, whisk together the heavy cream and vanilla.

Make a well in the center of the bowl with your dry ingredients, and drizzle in the whipping cream mixture while you stir or whisk the contents of the bowl. This can be difficult to do by yourself, but it doesn’t really matter if you kind of mess it up. Shortcakes are forgiving (and delicious—oh, so delicious).

When you’ve poured in all the cream, you should be able to mix the resulting mass together into one big ball. If it’s too sticky, add a little flour (and if it’s not sticky enough, add a few more drops of cream). Using floured hands, separate the big ball into two smaller balls.

Grease a cookie sheet or coast it with parchment paper, and set the two shortcake balls on the sheet at least three inches apart (they will spread out a bit). Pop them in the oven, and about 27-30 minutes later you will have two lovely, beautiful, mouth-watering shortcakes that will be just dying for you to heap them with strawberries and cream.

But now I’ve found the perfect solution: sweet spinach salad!

This takes less than five minutes to make, and it’s DELICIOUS. I feel like I am eating a dessert salad whenever I make it, no joke. All you need is some spinach, a few strawberries, a dab of honey, and a squirt of lemon juice.

Easy process: slice the strawberries and cut off the tops. Rinse the spinach and chop or tear it into smaller pieces. Toss the spinach and the strawberries in a bowl, and poke them for a few seconds to combine them.

Now for the fun part: squirt the lemon juice (I use about half a teaspoon) over the salad, then drizzle the honey over it. Mix everything up with your fork, and that’s IT! Dig in and enjoy… it’s the perfect side for a warm, summery day.

In good news, though, it tasted great. And it ended up looking exactly like something else I like a lot—pizza.

So if you too want to try dessert pizza, here’s all you need: about 1 cup sliced fresh strawberries, 1 small sliced apple (optional), 1 tablespoon sugar, 1 ½ teaspoons cornstarch, 1 tablespoon water, enough pie dough for 1 small pie (use your discretion), 1-2 tablespoons chocolate chips, 1 tablespoon milk, and a little bit (not more than a tablespoon) of brown sugar, oats, and flour.

After you’ve sliced your strawberries and apple, toss them in a small saucepan and warm them on medium heat until they’re bubbling.

Add the sugar, and mix the cornstarch and water together. Add those, too. The mixture will thicken after a few seconds. Keep bubbling away for another few minutes until it’s quite thick. You can also preheat the oven to 350 at this point.

In the meantime, prepare your “crust.” First, melt the chocolate chips and the milk in a small pan. Stir or whisk them until they’re velvety smooth. Turn off the heat. Roll out the pie dough quickly until it’s very thin (1/8” or thinner). Then take a pastry brush or a spoon and paint the bottom of the crust with the melted chocolate. You’re doing this because it tastes excellent (duh) and also because it will prevent the fruit mixture from making the bottom soggy.

Then make your topping. Stir together the flour, brown sugar, and oats (use more brown sugar than flour or oats, but make the mixture to taste).

After your fruit mixture has simmered for a while and the chocolate coating on your crust has hardened a little bit, pour the fruit over the chocolate. Don’t overfill it—eat some of the fruit mixture plain if you have to.

Fold up the corners, and try to make sure that there aren’t any leaks.

Sprinkle on the topping…

… then bake for about 30 minutes. Mmmm!