4th of July weekend is almost here! Can I get a woot woot? Anyone? No?

Well, you will be woot-wooting when you know how much easier I am about to make your life. Surely you are going to a BBQ of some sort this weekend and as if figuring out your outfit isn’t hard enough (something that says, ‘yeah I’m patriotic’ but doesn’t look like it came from your dad’s closet) you also have to figure out what to make for your friend’s/aunt’s/brother’s best friend’s girlfriend’s BBQ. You want to look like you tried (showing up with a bag of Tostitos and salsa, albeit tempting, is not on your radar) but you are NO Paula Deen.

Hell, you’re not even Rachael Ray.

Well, thank god you know about this article. Drinks and desserts, my friends. Drinks and desserts. These are the crowd pleasers. The attention getters. And I’ll be damned if I send you to a party and let some other chick’s dish get more attention.

So here you go: two easy to make – but delightful to look at  and delicious to eat/drink -  4th of July BBQ potluck showstoppers.

God Bless America. And cake. And vodka. Amen.

The Drink to Know about:
The Strawberry Sucker
Add a skewer of blueberries for a splash of blue! So easy to make, so yummy to drink and the more your guests drink, the more impressed they will be with your creation!

Ingredients:
Ice cubes
1 ounce vodka (2 tablespoons)
2 ounces strawberry schnapps (4 tablespoons)
Club soda
1 strawberry, halved

Directions:
Fill a highball glass with ice cubes. Add the vodka and schnapps and top with club soda. Garnish with the strawberry.

The Dessert to Know about:
Red-White-and-Blue Strawberry Shortcake
So simple yet so pretty and it makes you look SO creative. Throw some coconut shavings in between the strawberries for texture if you’re a fan of the coconut! And if you’re feeling daring, go for a funfetti cake instead of a yellow. Whatever makes you happiest.

Ingredients
1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 pint blueberries, rinsed and drained
2 pints fresh strawberries, rinsed and sliced

Directions
Prepare cake according to package directions and bake in a 9×13 inch pan. Cool completely.
Frost cake with whipped topping. Place blueberries in a square in the corner, and arrange sliced strawberries as stripes to make an American flag.

Chill until serving. And then chill with a Strawberry Sucker as everyone licks their plates clean.

The quintessential dessert of summer is the strawberry shortcake, and for good reason. There’s even a licensed character named after the dessert, for crying out loud. So when you make one, you want to make it good—and no, that does not involve picking up a four-pack of preservative-loaded, Twinkie-like “shortcakes” from Walmart.

What, you’ve never made your own shortcake before? Then you, my friend, are seriously missing out. Allow me to be your guide for your first foray into the world of better-tasting shortcakes—once you’ve entered, you’ll never look back.

For two nice-sized shortcakes (a little bigger than those store-bought lumps), you need:

• 2/3 cup flour

• a generous sprinkle (about 1/8 tsp) salt

• ½ tsp baking powder

• 1 ½ tablespoons sugar

• 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream

• ½ tsp vanilla

Preheat your oven to 350, and take out two separate bowls. In one bowl, stir together the flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar until it’s well combined. In the second bowl, whisk together the heavy cream and vanilla.

Make a well in the center of the bowl with your dry ingredients, and drizzle in the whipping cream mixture while you stir or whisk the contents of the bowl. This can be difficult to do by yourself, but it doesn’t really matter if you kind of mess it up. Shortcakes are forgiving (and delicious—oh, so delicious).

When you’ve poured in all the cream, you should be able to mix the resulting mass together into one big ball. If it’s too sticky, add a little flour (and if it’s not sticky enough, add a few more drops of cream). Using floured hands, separate the big ball into two smaller balls.

Grease a cookie sheet or coast it with parchment paper, and set the two shortcake balls on the sheet at least three inches apart (they will spread out a bit). Pop them in the oven, and about 27-30 minutes later you will have two lovely, beautiful, mouth-watering shortcakes that will be just dying for you to heap them with strawberries and cream.

So what’s a poor girl to do?

Make some bitchin’ strawberry shortcake.

I have found that no matter what, strawberry shortcake hits the spot — especially with moms. It’s light, it’s fruity, it’s sweet, and with this recipe, it’s so simple you could whip it up while studying for that last final.

INGREDIENTS

2 quarts (32 ounces) fresh strawberries

1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar

1 12-ounce tube Pillsbury Golden Homestyle Buttermilk biscuits

1 7-ounce can whipped cream

Slice the strawberries into a large bowl. Sprinkle with 1/3 cup of the sugar, toss, and set aside.

Separate the dough into individual portions and place on a baking sheet, sprinkle the tops with the remaining sugar, and bake according to the package directions. Let cool on the baking sheet for 3 to 5 minutes.

Slice each biscuit in half. Place the bottom half on a plate and top with some of the whipped cream. Spoon the berries and juices over the cream and sandwich with the remaining biscuit half.

Extra points if you add a little champagne. I mean, come on, you know how many hours this woman was in labor with you??

Take a breather this afternoon and check out Adult Swim’s Robot Chicken’s take on what happens when 80′s cartoons grow up. Hilarious!