Happy Halloween! What are you wearing?!

Mary Kate and Ashley play pin up.

Kevin Smith decides to lose weight…after breaking a toilet.

Jamie Foxx is makin’ an album.

Chunky is in...for sweaters.

The Barack Obama and John McCain talking dolls.

Is Colin Farrell dressed up as a Newsie?

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Sarah Jessica Parker does her part for the election.

Pink just totally threw John Mayer under the bus.

Are we getting old MTV back?

There are a lot of ailments I would consider to be terribly tragic. Today, I have added anorgasmia to the list.The inability to have an orgasm sounds like one of the worst things ever.

Orgasms are tension and stress relievers, sleep and pain aides and appetite suppressants. Basically, they are the human body’s way of saying everything sucks and this is what I’m going to give you to fix it… pure ecstasy.

Uh, thanks Mother Nature!

Just like all other ailments, there are many types of anorgasmia:

• Primary: Never having achieved an orgasm

• Secondary: Had one before, now the magic is gone

• Absolute: Tried every trick in the book and nothing works

Like the good ole days where doctors would bring a woman to orgasm to treat hysteria, doctors are now prescribing the vibrator as treatment for anorgasmia. I’d like to see that on my doctor’s prescription pad.

Not that I want to be an-orgasmic, but hell, trying to get my shoddy insurance to cover my latest sex toy could be a fun time.

The writer of this article, however, feels that our societies unwillingness to accept vibrators as a whole is as much of a problem as anorgasmia. And I agree with him. Bruce (of course it’s a man) urges you to “put your political differences aside and take the government’s lead.” Vibrators have been accepted by doctors and government officials but have yet to become a social norm in terms of, well, everything. Let’s be honest, vibrators usually aren’t water cooler talk.

And for once I agree with our government. So go wild and crazy. Buy a vibrator (or two!) and enjoy the all the benefits an orgasm has to offer.