After months and months of bemoaning and belaboring senior year, the fall semester is almost complete. Half of my senior year is over. My lasts semester taking a full course load is over.  It’s the end of an era, the beginning of something new. It’s what I’ve been counting down to since October. I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit ranting about how I could  not wait until the semester was over, how I needed a break, how I was tired of my professors, how I needed more free time and fewer responsibilities and how I was absolutely certain that this semester was just never going to end.

But now, now it’s very close to ending, and what I hadn’t seemed to realize was that it wasn’t so much my last fall semester of college that I wanted to end, but rather all of the work that accompanied it.

You see, I tried my best to strike a balance. But somewhere along the way the stress of senior year started overwhelming the sentimentality of senior year. It was less about enjoying the experience and more about powering through to the end of the experience. The senioritis started kicking in, and I started freaking out. I was trapped in a of must-get-things-done-now mind frame, worrying about my senior thesis (I don’t know why. It’s not due to April), my grad school applications (Don’t even know if I want to go to graduate school), and my grades (Still important. But now that the papers are done it doesn’t really seem as stress worthy). I spent a good chunk of the semester thinking about what comes next, and while it made sense at the time, that is not how I want to spend the latter half of my senior year.

I want to spend it partying partaking in senior year activities. I want to be a college student, because hey, I don’t know if you noticed but this will be my last chance to do that.  I use to do it quite well once upon a time (I’m looking at you, Junior Jenn) and after a little winter break rest and relaxation I think I’ll be more than ready to get back to the basics, for my last semester of college ever.

So I’m going to power through this last week one last time, and then do some celebrating. I’ll rest, relax, and recuperate all while getting into the Christmas spirit. And in January I’ll be back, with some New Year’s resolutions and some new, less stressful, senior goals.

If you need me until then, I’ll be watching Real Housewives reruns and baking Christmas cookies (or just eating the dough).

No scratch that, I hate it, actually. But what I do like is what that week represents. It’s the beginning of the end. The start of the finish. You’re over the hump. The semester is almost over. You’ve finally reached those last few dreadful weeks. And okay, maybe that doesn’t seem like something to be happy about, maybe you want to pull your hair out right now? Maybe you’re stressed? Sure, but just think, in a couple of weeks it will all be over.

How can you be sure that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Here are just a few signs that the semester is almost over.

10. You’ll do anything to avoid your homework. Okay. Time to get serious. You have a lot to get done these less few weeks. Time to buckle down and start working. No distractions. No Facebook. No phones. Reading time. But wait…you have been meaning to reorganize your desk. And your bookshelf. And…you get the idea.

9. You’re staying in instead of going out. Thirsty Thursday? Try thesis Thursday. You have so many papers due, so many pages of reading to get through, so much to get done in such a short amount of time you can’t even think about going out. Well, okay you think about it (and even plan your outfit) but then you don’t go. And you reward yourself for being such a studious student by taking a five minute break to Facebook-stalk. The next thing you know, four hours have gone by and your roommate is stumbling in, ready to tell you all about her great night. The one you missed.  And you still didn’t do you reading. Oops.

8. You can no longer find a seat in the library. It’s not like you’re hanging out in the library all that often, but every once in a while when you need to take a nap write  a paper, you head on over, and you expect there to be seating. But towards the end of the semester? You can’t even find a floor spot in the corner near a plug.

7. Each and every one of those people fit into one of these categories. Go read them. No explanation needed.

6. Facebook statuses start appearing in countdown code. You know, those Facebook statuses that start popping up about a week before the semester ends, listing everything the person needs to get done between now and then. Sort of like, five finals, four papers, three days, two meetings, and one nap until winter break. Not that I’ve ever participated in such a thing. Not at all.

5. You’ve decided it no longer makes sense to do laundry. There’s only a few weeks left of the semester, and your Mom helped you out so much when you were home for Thanksgiving. You’ve got enough undies to get you by. If you just hold off until then, you won’t have to scrounge for change or waste precious moments waiting for your clothes to dry. Mom will be happy to help. And you can make it. Sort of….

Did you just sniff your shirt?

4. You have to use your credit card for your coffee. I don’t live on campus so I don’t have a meal plan. But I do have did have flexicash (you know, like a giftcard for the student coffee shop). It provides me with infinite amounts of caffeine and chocolate chip muffins whenever I need them. Except now. Because I ran out. Just when I need my coffee the most, DAMNIT!!! The other day, I charged change. Yes, change. 89 cents to be exact. For a banana. It’s time for winter break.

3. You’re no longer speaking to your roommate. You two are actually quite close, really. But it’s that kind of close that only works for small periods of time. Not months and months in cramped quarters. And not during such a trying time in your life. Sure, her jokes are cute and funny in October, but now? Now the only thing that makes you laugh is the thought of beating her with a pillow while she sleeps.

2. Professors can’t even be bothered to show up to class. In the past month, my professor has canceled my Senior Seminar more times than I can count. You know it’s bad when a senior’s response to a canceled class is “Again?” followed by a disgruntled groan. I firmly believe that if your professor can’t be even be bothered to make it to class then it’s just time to call it a semester already. We won’t mind, really.

1. You can’t even remember the last time you read for class. I don’t know about you ladies, but once the last few weeks of the semester approach (or basically as soon as I come back from Thanksgiving) I just can’t seem to find it in me to read for class anymore. I mean, the semester is practically over, isn’t it? And you have so many papers to finish up, and final assignments to turn in that those books you won’t need to know anything about (because that class doesn’t have a final) seem less and less important.

Ew. Is it over yet?!

[Check out Jenn's other musings-in-the-form-of-a-list here.]

Well, when a week is already stressful enough, you know the last thing anyone needs is boy drama complicating things even more. And after hanging out with my ex last week, he’s clearly been messing with my head. As much as a part of me would love to banish him completely out of my life, I don’t know how soon that will happen. (And to the ladies who commented last week, thanks so much for the support, it’s really nice to know I’m not the only one! If I ever figure anything out, I will let you know immediately!) Instead, I spend my time thinking about him, about me, about what I want, about how annoyed I am that this is what I’m thinking about.

So yeah, I needed a little release. A night to just forget about everything that was on my overflowing plate (of unappetizing things) and just have fun. And I did that last Saturday night. And I might have had a few too many drinks. When me and my girls came back to campus, my drunk self really had to pee. Conveniently enough, the train stop was right next to that older boy’s house (you know, the one who took forever to ask me out). Since he’d been texting me all night already, I just (drunk) dialed him to let me use his bathroom.

Long story short, he was really sweet and took care of me when I was drunk. He took me home to make sure that I got home safe, and put me to bed. He finally (!!) kissed me, and made sure my roommate made it home safely as well. He is a total sweetheart and it didn’t go unnoticed.

I think I really could like this kid, which is adorable and cute and exciting and just the thing to make me feel better. Or is it….

The thing is, I’ve already got enough drama happening right now. Between school, work, the ex, etc., I’m burnt out. There is already such drama trying to figure out what is going on with the boy, and we’re not even dating yet! I don’t know how much more I can take, or if starting something with him will make me happy or more stressed out.

Gah! Just thinking about it makes me frazzled.

Maybe I should just take a hint from this girl and give up boys for awhile. I think she’s seriously onto something.

Taking 20 credits, working two jobs, and writing your thesis doesn’t leave for a whole lot of free time, and that’s a pretty hard thing to adjust to. I usually like to procrastinate – I work better with a gun to my head, it seems. But now I have to work in advance, because I don’t have time to do things the way I normally do.

This weekend, I don’t even have time to drink. What is my world coming to?

As for lessons learned these past two weeks or so, I realized the value of backing your sh*t up like your life depends on it. My thesis chapter was due on Monday. I didn’t finish it until Tuesday. Now, because I have an older version of OpenOffice (a free version of Microsoft Office, essentially), when my computer decided to spazz out, I lost 11 out of 12 pages.

Cue comfort food binging.

I binge eat when I’m upset. It’s a problem I’ve been working on for a while now, but I’m worried that this year might drive me back to it – especially when I’m this upset at the very beginning of the semester.

I started work this week essentially calling old alumni and asking them to donate to the college. Some of them ask me what I’m doing when I get out of school, and my uncertain answer usually consists of some variation of “I don’t know.” I’ve always want to work with animals, but I want to continue writing. There doesn’t seem to middle choice that I can find right now…and I don’t really feel like entirely looking for it. I don’t like thinking about the future as it is – planning the next couple years of my life nearly on my own has be a little upset.

Okay, who am I kidding? I’m flipping out.

For now, though, I’m just going to plow through the next couple of days. And maybe on Monday – because I don’t have time to do it on Sunday – I’ll get my drink on. God knows I need it.

I think my senior year might turn me into an alcoholic, you guys.

[Picture courtesy gettyimages.com]