As probably anyone will tell you, one of the biggest dangers to a relationship is infidelity (and maybe weekly Real Housewives marathons). We all know (or have dated) the total skeez-bag frat boy who only cared about scoring with chicks and the only person he was faithful to was the guy who sold him his Keystone Light. Obviously, that guy had red flags all over him, but what about the less obvious offenses?

I think one of the biggest problems in a relationship is that many people don’t really have the same idea of what constitutes “cheating.” So what the boy might see as just a harmless night out with his guys, the girl might freak out that her boyfriend would go to a strip club and look at another girl naked!

So what is cheating?
Is it flirting with someone else?
Hanging out alone with someone else?
Dancing with someone else?
Kissing someone else?

Cheating is different for every person and every couple, and it’s something that every couple needs to figure out for themselves. It’s all based on your personal beliefs and those of your partner and it’s something that must be discussed so everyone is on the same page.

For me and Matt, well, I’m perfectly fine with him having a glance at a beautiful woman. I’m secure enough to know that it’s just a look and nothing else, and I’m also mature enough to acknowledge the fact that there are women out there who are sexy and beautiful and, well, who wouldn’t look? Matt knows that I believe cheating is when someone in a relationship acts on feelings for someone who is not their significant other. And he agrees. So we both know that thinking “my government prof is hot” is totally fine but “my government prof is a really great kisser” is not.

And that little understanding goes a long way in terms of trust and communication in our relationship.

I know not all guys are comfortable talking about cheating, but if you two can sit down and set up boundaries, neither of you will have to worry about what will and won’t get you in trouble.

So what to you is too far for you?

I’m a stripper.

Well, not really, but I have done a good number of amateur nights. I’ve danced on stage naked for strangers, swung around the pole, and even given private dances. I was incredibly nervous my first time, but realized quickly that it was EASY and exhilarating.

I thought this week I would share some tips with you guys on how to give the perfect striptease – I promise it’s easier than you think! Even more, it’s fun and definitely something new and exciting for you and your partner to share. He’ll love seeing you in a sexy new light and you’ll love the power you have to turn him to putty in your hands.

Pick Music Your Comfortable With
Pick a song you know and make sure it’s something you’re comfortable moving to. You don’t have to be a good dancer to give a good strip tease, you just have to be comfortably with whatever you’re doing. If you’re unsure of  your dance moves, pick something slow. If you love to bump and grind, pick something with a faster pace. The song choice doesn’t matter; it’s how you move with it that does.

Take Your Time
The most important component of a strip-tease is the stripping; once all your clothes are off you’re just dancing around naked (your boyfriend will probably love it, but you’ll feel awkward). Take your time removing each item, and wear clothes with buttons or zippers that you can undo slowly…and without awkwardly pulling them over your head.

Be Sensual
Like I said before, you don’t have to be a good dancer to give a good strip tease. Move slowly and sensually. It’s corny but I have to say it anyway: make love to the music. Look like YOU’RE the one getting sexual pleasure from the dance, not whoever is watching you.

Be Interactive
Make eye contact. Give a sexy smile. Play with your partner’s hair or clothing. Sit in their lap. Basically, make your audience part of the experience.

Have Fun
One night I was on stage swinging my legs around and my shoe flung off. Mortifying, right? I kept my cool and laughed it off, joked about it to the few guys who saw, and ended up making even more tips. I assume most of you will probably be dancing for a special someone rather than a group a strangers, so it should be even easier to laugh off any act of clumsiness.

Keep Clean
Believe it or not, the shoe incident wasn’t the most embarrassing stripping experience I’ve ever had. Once I was on stage and realized I had bits of toilet paper stuck in my naughty-bits. I was MORTIFIED and still had to finish my set. Since then I’ve never gone on stage before examining the area thoroughly and I suggest you do the same.

Have a Drink
It’s common knowledge that you feel a little less inhibited when there’s some liquid courage in your system. If you’re extremely nervous or uncomfortable, have a drink before your man arrives. But only a drink; getting woozy and face-planting between his legs isn’t the sexiest part of a striptease.

There you have it, a few simple steps to the perfect striptease. And who knows, if you enjoy it maybe I’ll see you at amateur night some time!

This Week’s Article: 5 Lies All Women Tell by askmen.com.

This article’s tag line is: “If she’s said any of these things to you, she’s lying.” Starting off with a gross generalization is never a good thing, but let’s take a look at what lies the boys at AskMen think we’ve been telling. All of us. Every time we speak.

“I’m not mad at you.”

Askmen says: “Oh, yes she is. Don’t think you’re getting off that easily. This lie is one of the most frequently used in relationships. Typically, women who have been hurt by men in their lives — often inadvertently — use this phrase as an emotional defense. For example, if a guy forgets his girlfriend’s birthday, calls her by his ex’s name or commits any of the other minor screw ups that most men do on a daily basis, women usually can’t just let it go. They dwell on it, letting worries whittle away normal feelings of well-being like a dog gnaws on a bone.”

I say: This is true some of the time, but there are definitely times we really just aren’t mad! Really! And if we are, we don’t all let it “whittle away normal feelings of well-being”; we can get over things, you know. The best way to get around this confusion is to encourage open and honest communication from the start of a relationship.

“I don’t mind if you go to strip clubs with the boys.”

Askmen says: “If this one sounds too good to be true, that’s because it is. Word to the wise: Virtually all women mind when their men go out to ogle other women at strip clubs without them.”

I say: I love strip clubs. I’ve even done amateur night. I don’t mind if you go and I’ll probably ask to come along!

“I’m just not ready for a boyfriend right now.”

Askmen says: “The truth is, if the woman is single and at all interested in you, she will certainly make the time to date you. It’s that simple.”

I say: That’s true. But it’s important to note that dating and being boyfriend-girlfriend are not necessarily the same things, and it’s possible she just wants something more casual.

“I don’t mind picking up the tab tonight; you always pay anyway.”

Askmen says: “Not true. Although this lie doesn’t apply to all women, most still do expect men to pay for things, especially if the man asked them out in the first place. They will secretly think that the guy is cheap if he wriggles out of the bill on a regular basis.”

I say: Not true. My boyfriend and I split everything, because we’re both broke at the moment. I don’t think less of him at all.

“That was f*cking great!”

Askmen says: “This lie falls under the broad category of sex lies. When women are committed to a man, they focus on him, often believing, time and time again, that he is “the one.” Because girls have this tendency, they also tell guys whatever they think they want to hear (like they just had an orgasm), just to make them feel good about themselves.

I say: So anytime we say we’ve had an orgasm, it’s really just our secret hope that you are our soulmate? (And that we want to spend the rest of our lives with someone who can’t satisfy us!?) This sounds scarily like it falls under the old school “women don’t like sex but do it to keep men happy” train of thought, and that is just wrong.

What are some lies you girls have actually told?

There are few topics in a relationship that cause more controversy than strip clubs. Many of us can’t understand why our man would need to watch some other girl strip it off and shake her ass in his face when he can have our naked ass in his face whenever he wants it (for free, I might add).  And isn’t watching some other girl get naked a form of cheating? He wouldn’t like it if I let some random dude come over and rub his crotch in (or on) my face for $5.

So why do guys do it? And what is the appeal of having some girl rub her boobs on him if he has to stick a few bucks in her panties to do so? I haven’t spent much time in strip clubs, so I turned to someone who does. Frequently. And loves it.

Here is the strip club lowdown from a dude who knows it (very) well.

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Oh no. Speidi is getting married for real.

A few months ago my roommate and I went to a strip club with some friends. I was expecting a trashy bar with dirty-looking girls, but it wasn’t like that at all. The club was small, clean, and felt safe. The girls were all attractive, not supermodels, but they looked real. And we had a blast.

We made friends with a few of the girls, and even got one’s email address. She told us how much fun she had dancing and how empowered and sexy she felt afterward. We left that night wanting to be strippers, and swore we would do amateur night some day.

Well, we finally did it.

Amateur night happens every Tuesday. The club is 45 minutes outside the city, and neither of us have cars, so it was tricky trying to find a day we both didn’t have homework and could get a ride. My roommate’s friend offered to drive us and we no longer had any excuse to put it off.

I was nervous as hell. I hate being on stage, and I’m not very confident in my dancing skills. I’ve never really been that shy about being naked, though. Still, when you combine the three together, it’s pretty damn frightening.

I had a few (much needed) drinks beforehand to kill my nerves, but was careful not too drink so much that I wouldn’t be able to balance in my heals. When we got there, the stripper who we had made friends with let us borrow some outfits. I was in a see-through lacy white outfit and my roommate had a see-through lacy black one. Typical stripper-wear.

We had both burned CDs with the songs we wanted, but the DJ told us we danced to two songs, not just one. We told him to pick a slow song for our second songs, because dancing to two fast songs would wear us out.

It was a pretty slow night at the club (only about ten customers) and we were the only two amateurs. All the real strippers got a turn before we went on. Talk about intimidating! But it did help to watch them and get some ideas.

My roommate went first. She was AMAZING! Better than some of the strippers in the club. She does Rocky Horror Picture Show, so she’s used to being on stage half-naked. This was just the natural next step. Her first song, the Toxic remake by A Static Lullaby, was awesome. She rocked out and everyone loved it. The song the DJ picked for her kind of sucked, but she worked it.

Watching her (and how much the crowd loved her) made me even more nervous, but I couldn’t back out now.

My first song, C’est Beau La Bourgousie by Discobitch started playing and I made my way over to the pole. I don’t remember much of what happened afterward. I tend to blank out when I’m on stage. I just focused on keeping moving, circling the stage and dancing for whoever had money out. I even spun around the pole the few times, which I had no clue I even knew how to do.

The song the DJ picked for me was Tonight and the Rest of My Life by Nina Gordon, which was great because I actually knew it. The second song is when you take your panties off, so I spent most of the song rolling around on the floor naked. I used to do gymnastics, so I pulled off a few splits.

Collecting my money when they song ended was the hardest part. There I was scampering around naked on the stage trying to collect handfuls of dollar bills while the next girl is trying to dance. I made about sixty dollars. Not bad for five minutes!

Overall, I had a great time. I left feeling pumped up and wishing I could have danced a second time! It was definitely an experience worth having. My roommate told me she felt a little guilty this morning, but I don’t at all. I guess it’s not for everyone, but if you’re confident in your body and can overcome the stigmas we all have about stripping, I would encourage you to try it. If a strip club isn’t your scene, why not put on private strip tease for a significant other? It’s a great way to feel confident and sexy.

What do you guys think, would you ever strip? Comment below.

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But allowing your husband to get one? Encouraging and then laughing with him about it afterwards? Telling him how cute it was that he had a hard time finding someone to finally do it?

WTF.

Now, I’m not one of those rabid girlfriends who beats their boyfriend for accidentally checking out the boobs of another woman — hell, I’m not even one of those girls who won’t let her dude go to a strip club — but I really don’t think I’d spend my time convincing my husband to let some other chick give him a handjob for $55 with tip.

My reasoning is less about the possibility of him getting ideas and then cheating (I believe if a guy is gonna cheat he’s gonna cheat, no matter what you say or do), and more about the weirdness of encouraging a husband to seek outside sexual gratification. I mean, if I’m his wife, shouldn’t I be the one providing all the sex acts? Is that what you kind of promise when you get married — that you’re the one who will be giving all the handjobs from now on?

What do you think? If you were married, would you encourage your guy to get a “happy ending”?