The following post is written by Altif Wyle-Brown from UCSB, one of our many friends at Uloop, a student powered marketplace. Read more great posts in their blog.

It is in human nature to steer away from things that make us feel uncomfortable or uncertain. However, when new to a college campus it can be hard to find one’s niche. And even for many that have been on the college campus for years, they find themselves meandering around with the same individuals that they were friends with Freshmen year.

It is important to step outside of these comfort zones in order to shape and create a larger friend base that can aid you in the future, especially when looking for work. It’s not hard to accomplish this; it just takes a few steps to succeed in being a social giant.

Switch It Up
Although it is very easy to be a part of the same organizations that you have been a part of for your entire life, it is more beneficial to branch out to various organizations that have different backgrounds, connections, and client bases than your own. For example, even if you are not politically driven it may be rather prudent to join Young Republicans, Campus Democrats, etc. Or on the flip-side, if you have been a part of a politically affiliated organization for a long time, then maybe you should switch it up and join the Adventure Club or Fencing Club. By doing this, your face and name gain recognition across demographics.

Approach the Unfamiliar
Oftentimes people get so wrapped up in their own lives that they forget that there are six billion other people on the planet. Yes, friendships are amazing, especially the lifelong ones. However, someone that you have known since pre-school will not vanish if you do not hang out with them for a couple days. Be approachable and approach those that you don’t know. For example, if someone is wearing a shirt that says “Combat Airsoft” you may feign interest in order to spark a conversation which could lead to a friendship. No one ever got anywhere by staying in their shell, and neither should you.

Be Openly Interesting
Too many times people complain about not having friends but are completely closed off and don’t let others in. If you expect to make real connections with people, it is important that they are given a sense of disclosure. By disclosing information, people have various ways to remember you in the future. And furthermore, being interesting is beneficial to attraction. People typically would rather be friends with someone that they find interesting, than someone dull.  If for some reason the friendship dies, it is important to leave an impression that will stick. And this is often done by disclosing a very interesting part of you.

Market Yourself
The era in which business cards were only for the elite has passed. Anyone who is interested in networking and creating friendships should utilize business cards. Oftentimes college campuses allow students to order business cards for next to nothing.  After a conversation with someone, it may be prudent to hand them a business card. It is less personal than putting their number in your phone, but is still informal enough that they will be comfortable phoning, emailing, etc. As long as the connection is established, keeping in touch is how it is maintained.

Maybe business cards aren’t your style, and for many it isn’t. One of the greatest tools for networking and social development is social networking sites (hence the name). Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, and Twitter have revolutionized the way that many of us keep in contact with one another. Don’t be afraid to accept people that you may have only spoken with a few times. The main focus is to try establishing connections with people in such a way that they will remember you in the future; better yet, never let the relationship die.

Don’t Hide in the Shadows
This is the most important of the listed suggestions. It is very important that people see you often. There is nothing wrong with having lunch on campus once a week or studying someplace with a flow of traffic. By making yourself more visible, in turn, it makes you more accessible. When you are a recurring figure within people’s lives, they feel obliged to know you, and a conversation is inevitable.  Even if you are a member of a million campus organizations and you make it rain business cards every day, it all means nothing if your face is not present.

Being able to balance all of the aforementioned suggestions in addition to studies, intramurals, jobs, and organizations, is a very difficult skill and oftentimes it seems as if there aren’t enough hours in the day. By no means should you feel worn out; these adjustments should compliment your life.  And eventually, most things will begin to come naturally.

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Don’t know what to do this summer? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Question:
You girls seem to know what’s up with college. I’m transferring from a community college to a big college. I start with the summer term in a few weeks (I thought it would help me with my transition if I gave myself some extra time.) I’m really scared because I’ve never lived away from home and this is very different from what I’m used to from my current school. I want to know if you have any advice? Like, if you could tell me 3 things I should know, what are they?

Party Girl:
First of all, congrats on leaving the nest! That’s a big step and it definitely takes some balls. As for the advice, I can only say that going to a “big” college after community college is going to be like life in technicolor after living in black & white (a la Dorothy). Everything is going to be more intense: the classes, the drinking, and the lifestyle. There will be more opportunities to party and make friends at every turn – take advantage of them!!  If I have to funnel my advice into three bullet points, it would be these:

1) Fight the urge to hermit. Get a drink in your hand and your ass on a dance floor.
2) Study. I frequently forget to do this myself, so it’s good to remind yourself that going to a big college is more than just a huge 4-year speed dating event.
3) Live on campus. Even if it’s just for a semester, to really experience your new school you have to live on campus. Plus, you get an automatic in for any campus parties that most people living off campus don’t even hear about.

Busy Bee:
Know that the first few months will definitely be the hardest. You will feel tempted to call your mom every single day, book a flight back to your hometown every other weekend, and flood your friend’s walls with, “OMG IMY!” It’s normal, but you’ll get over this phase as soon as you start meeting new people and finding fun things to do.

Which brings me to my second point: busy yourself! I guess that only sounds right coming from me, but it really works. To get your mind off of homesickness, don’t be afraid to hang out with new people, find out which eateries are the local hot spots, or get involved with this new community. Go ahead and explore this new territory! That also includes scouting out some hotties around town.

My last piece of wisdom would be to take this time to learn more about yourself. Seeing that you might not hit it off with every new friend you meet, you’re going to have to be very independent. That means going grocery shopping by yourself, making your own dinner, and finding out what’s cool in town. If you’re not one to enjoy alone time, then take every opportunity you have in class to meet new people! Scary at first, but all you gotta do is say hi and ask them where they got their cute shirt from. Have fun, be daring, and enjoy the “big college” experience!

GPA Girl:
Girl, it sounds as if you are totally prepared! You’re giving yourself extra time to adjust and everything–very responsible. I know how you feel because I was also very scared and overwhelmed when I left home for the first time. If I had to give you three pieces of advice, I think these would be it:

1. Just because you’re living away from home doesn’t mean you can’t be connected with home anymore. Call your parents and your siblings, visit every month or two, and stay in touch with your friends from home and your community college. Write them e-mails and letters (yes, the old-fashioned kind). Send packages and cookies.
2. Take advantage of what your new, big school has to offer. I bet your community college didn’t have as many opportunities for fun extra-curriculars and places to bond with other students. Join any activity that looks interesting, even if you know next to nothing about it (there’s no obligation to keep going, after all), and try to find people with whom you have things in common.
3. Don’t neglect your classes. It’s possible that the work at the big college will be tougher or more time-consuming than it was at your community college, so it’s great that you’re trying to prepare now. I really believe that a solid academic foundation will also provide you with a solid foundation in other aspects of your life, so work hard and do well. Ask questions, review the material, go to office hours, and be really interested and engaged in what you’re learning. Good luck!!

My freshman year of college was a complete transition from life at home and as it’s drawing to a close, I realize that the girl taking her last final exam is very different than that girl who called her parents nightly when she first moved in. I’m an older, wiser, drunker more content version of myself, and I have my first year of college to thank for that.

Since I’ll be heading back to the parentals’ pad in a few short weeks, I thought I’d look back on everything I’ve learned during my freshman year. Turns out: I’ve learned a lot.

1. Colleges Aren’t That Giant After All
When you first arrive, your campus seems huge, filled with thousands of strangers that you don’t know, and navigating around it seems to require a GPS device.  After about a month, though, you’ll be zipping around like you’ve been there for years, and everywhere you go, you’ll see people you know.  Sometimes this is not the greatest thing, but I digress.

2. Papers will be the death of you.
Papers in high school were about the same length as papers in college for me, but for some reason, in college they are far more torturous.  For one thing, they are worth so much more of your grade and an afternoon spent in the library trying desperately to pound out the damn thing is more painful than the first time riding a spin bike.  Especially when you have distractions like Facebook, anything happening outside, and the fact that you are SO BORED YOU WANT TO FAKE A HEART ATTACK TO GET OUT OF HANDING IN THAT EFFING PAPER.

3. Getting Involved Changes Everything
In my first couple of months at school, my group of friends was really limited to the girls on my hall.  I loved them, but with so many thousands of people milling around, I felt like I should do more. By branching out and joining things like the lacrosse team, the newspaper and our TV station, I made whole new groups of friends that I wouldn’t have met otherwise.

4.  Don’t Go To The Gym at 6 p.m.
Unless you want to wait 30 minutes or more to get on a treadmill.

5.  Go to the library ALONE
That is, if you want to get anything done. If you want to share funny YouTube videos, talk about the other people in the library, or play a couple hundred rounds of Chuck, F*ck, or Marry, go with your friends.

6. Cafeteria + Ethnic Food = Disaster
At our school, the powers that be sometimes think we need to switch it up from what may or may not be pulled pork and English muffins, so they introduce some ethnic choices.  Sometimes this works out. Taco Tuesday, for example, is pretty harmless. But other times, like Indian Night, it’s a hot, unidentifiable mess. And I’m not talking about the bathroom aftermath, though that is also a problem.

7. Sleep Is Important!
With all of the amazing things to do in college (and class), how does one get it all in?  The answer to many (myself included) is to cut sleeping. I spent the entire semester being poked awake in a 10 am class by my friend, and sometimes complete strangers.  Falling asleep in class not only causes you to miss out on important stuff, but it’s humiliating. Especially when there’s drool.

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Debating nabbing a single or living with friends? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Question:
I really, reaaaaally want to study abroad in Spain next year. (I’ll be a Junior.) I’m just not sure if I should go for one semester or a whole year. Most students only go for one semester, but is there a reason they don’t do a whole year? Would you go for a whole year? I’m not sure if that’s an awesome idea (how else do you really experience the culture??) or if it’s a terrible idea (people are going to forget about me/I will miss out on a lot).

What would you do?

Party Girl:
Do the entire year. Trust me, by the end of the semester, you’ll be getting into your comfort zone, really picking up the language and connecting with new people every day. The only reason I would assume people don’t do the full year is because of money or that their graduation requirements won’t be filled in time. To truly experience your time abroad, you need the full year. I mean, would you rather have four months of drinking, partying, and flirting in another language, or nine months?? You are right about the culture – you’ll need as much time as possible for it to fully sink in. And no, nobody is going to forget about you (your friends aren’t goldfish, are they??). I can’t stress enough how epic an entire year in a foreign country is – get your butt over there and stay for as long as possible!!!

Busy Bee:
I like that you want to stay there longer, because you’re right – you can’t really experience the culture after 1 semester. Instead of going a full year, why don’t you do two semesters? How about going for summer and fall semester only? That’s definitely longer, but not too long and you won’t miss out on a full year of on-campus time. Also, keep in mind that yes, you will miss out on a lot, but with the invention of Facebook, there is no way people will forget about you.

The one thing you want to make sure to consider is any obligations you may have here in the States (your job, an internship, club President). Usually you can schedule a single semester around student group positions or internships, but it’s not as easy to get out of those same things for a full year and expect to have the positions open for you when you return. The longer you stay, the more risk you are at for losing those jobs (which is probably why I may not be able to study abroad…).

Either way, it’s your college experience and if you want to study abroad for longer than a semester, then go for it!

GPA Girl:
Great question. It’s awesome that you want to study abroad. I went to China for a semester during my junior year and I think it may have been the best academic and personal decision I made through all of my college career. As for considering the question of being there for a semester or a full year, you should think about several things.

Does the program you want even offer a full year of study? Many don’t, and sometimes full-year credits don’t transfer in the same way as semester credits do. Also, if you like your campus and your friends it can be tough to be away for a whole year. Toward the end of my semester in China, I started missing my family hardcore and really wanted to go home (despite still loving it there). Finally, think about money. Spain isn’t cheap, and you might end up spending a lot if you’re there for a year.

It sounds a little bit as if you think a semester isn’t a long time. That may be, but it’s probably not as short as you think it is. There are tons of people who go on one- or two-week vacations to global destinations and think they’ve “experienced the culture” of those places, so just think about all the things you’d be able to discover in a semester’s worth of time! All in all, I don’t really see a clear winner here. A semester or a year would be great as long as you can line up your priorities and figure out what’s most important to you. Some programs even offer the flex option of being there for a semester and then letting you decide to extend your stay to a year, so if you can do something like that, go for it!

Question:
So I know that the year is nearly over but I thought I’d send this question anyway. I’m a sophomore and I had an awesome freshman year. I met a bunch of people, I had friends on my hall and it seemed like there was always something to do. And now it’s just not the same. My friends are spread all over campus, my classes are harder and it feels like I’m stuck in the middle: I’m too old to go to frat parties but I’m clearly not old enough to go to the bar. This year just isn’t fun. Is this just me? Do you guys know how to fix this?

GPA Girl:
I believe this is commonly known as the “sophomore slump,” girl. And I don’t want to judge, but it sounds as if your sophomore year isn’t turning out to be so great because you are determined to believe that it’s not as good as last year. I think you need to stop comparing and start considering things differently. The trick is to focus on what’s good and, if possible, to manufacture your own fun. 

Throw a party in your dorm or reserve a lounge to gather all your friends together. You could easily do this once a week, even if it’s just meeting for coffee or studying in a group at the library. If you want to see your friends more, there’s no one stopping you. You also said your classes are harder this year. Well, I know this is a pretty typical “GPA Girl” thing to say, but… didn’t you come to college to learn? If your classes are easy for you, you’re probably not learning much. If you can’t seem to understand anything, though, just drop by your profs’ office hours. People want to help you! Finally, remember that not every party on campus is a frat party, and you don’t have to hit up the bar to have a great time–throw your own party, or find an under-21 hang-out spot that you and your friends love. You really do have to take matters into your own hands. If things are tough for you right now, make them easier! No one is going to do it for you.

Busy Bee:
Sometimes, we have to face the fact that not all things can be as great as they once were. I’m not surprised your freshman year was more fun – it should be, given the fact that it was your first year in college. Many people often feel this way their sophomore year. I’m not sure if there’s a real quick fix, except to just tough it out. There’s only a few more months left in the semester, and the best you can do is to just keep at it until summer arrives. Instead of focusing on your social life, why not try excelling in your tough classes or working on some of your personal goals? School is not always fun, but it’s what you make of it. Also, if you barely see your friends anymore, maybe they’re not really your friends (no offense!). Try making some new ones or joining a club – the bond you create from a shared interest usually creates longer lasting friendships. I say, just try to get through this semester the best you can. As for your partying dilemma, I’ll leave it to our Party Girl!

Party Girl:
Whoa, whoa, whoa – did you just say “too old to go to frat parties”??? Honey, if you’re still going to college, you’re never too old to go to frat parties. Frats are there to serve the needs of the university population who are still too young to go to the bar. I think you’ve hit the “sophomore slump.” I had a similar experience during my sophomore year. Then I realized that my friends were closer than I thought and a house party gets you just as drunk as the bar (possibly even more drunk…it’s so cheap!). Your campus can’t be so large that a simple 20 minute walk wouldn’t get you to a friend’s place. You have so many options! When you finally turn 21, you’ll look at your bank account and start fondly remembering the days of house parties when a cup was $5 and you were encouraged to do keg stands. Seriously – cherish this time. House parties, frat parties, sneaking flasks into the movie theater – all of these are cheap, accessible options to drink underage with your buddies. Grab a friend and take your pick!

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to pad that resume? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I don’t like drinking but I feel like that’s all there ever is to do in my college town on the weekends. What are people supposed to do in college who don’t like to get wasted every night? And how are we supposed to find friends when all they ever do is go out and get drunk?

GPA Girl:

Wow, do I ever feel your pain. In my experience, there are lots of us non-drinkers out there, especially at the beginning of undergrad, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to do things other than get trashed. Not to mention that people who don’t like to drink are usually introverted, so it can be harder to find them and befriend them in the first place. Sigh. The deck is stacked against you, girl. But here is some good news: I managed to find amazing, incredible, awesome friends in college even though I didn’t drink a drop. Most of my friends did drink occasionally, but they shared my lack of interest in getting blasted at large parties every weekend. 

Since it’s basically impossible to tell who drinks and who doesn’t just by looking, I recommend you go all out and try to make a bunch of new friends of all types. Find these people in your classes, at your extracurriculars, or even in the larger non-college community. Most people don’t drink EVERY weekend, so in your mix of new friends, you should have at least one or two people available at any time whom you can contact and ask if they’d like to hang out. You can do plenty of things with these friends: snag a lounge and have a movie night, do one of those boxed murder mysteries, study together, go out for dinner or dessert, play games, do sports, work on art, etc. Just play to your (and their) interests.

And to finish, here are two more quick snippets of advice: 1) Don’t act elitist about not drinking or give people the impression you think drinkers are stupid, and 2) Try going to a party sometime. You don’t have to drink, and you might meet fun people there whose goal is to have a good time rather than to get totally drunk. Good luck!

Party Girl:
I’d like to offer you some advice, but I don’t think I’m the best woman for the job. I’ll leave it up to the other two to guide you on this one. If you do decide you wanna try a little saucin’ sometime, hit me up. I have plenty of advice, tips and tricks to share.

Busy Bee:
I absolutely love this question because I am in the same boat as you – I don’t drink either. Now, many college girls might say “Wow, that’s crazy. Alcohol is the best!” and some might say, “Finally, college girls who are sober!” It doesn’t matter what your views on drinking are, but that you create the college experience that you want. So, what is it that I do instead of drink? I have my best friends who don’t drink either. We have fun by heading out to restaurants for dinner, hitting the drive-thru right after, running around town gossiping about the latest news, hitting up local parks to relive our childhood, watching the latest chick flicks, embarking on spontaneous adventures, and creating new memories. You see, people in college who don’t drink every night, we throw our own dress-up, singing, dancing, and crazy sober parties. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s possible to have your own version of fun.

You need to start out by seeking out that one friend who doesn’t drink and then you’ll find yourself attracting more people of the same crowd. After a while, you’ll have a creative group of alcohol-free friends. Can’t seem to find a sober friend? Try seeing what your school or town has to offer. Maybe there is a monthly movie night on campus (great place to meet like-minded sober people!), or maybe you could join a student group that interests you and meet people there. Just branch out a bit and get involved with as many different things as you can; you’ll have your own circle of sober friends (and great friends) fast.

And girl, I’m proud of you for not falling to peer pressure standards. Do what makes you feel comfortable!

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to save some dough? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I’m just about to transfer to a much larger school for the spring semester, after commuting to school for two and a half years (I’m a junior now) and I’m REALLY scared about making friends. I’ve always had some difficulty with making them, since I’m pretty shy and socially awkward. Having friends isn’t impossible, but now that I’m going away to a huge school of 44,000 students, it’s a bit intimidating. Do you have any advice on making new friends mid-year? I’m sorta freaking out.

Busy Bee:
First things first, have no fear – you WILL make friends! I know what it’s like to be the ‘new kid’, but it’s also a different story when you’re the new kid in a school of 44,000. The fact that you’re going to a school with so many people, you won’t have any problems fitting in. I’ve noticed that college is different from high school in that there really are no cliques or pressures to be a part of a certain group. You can be whoever you want and hang out with as many or few people as you want.

Now that you’ve realized this, go ahead and try something new. Take this opportunity to join a new club (some clubs recruit at the beginning of each semester) or find an on-campus job (this will allow you to befriend the cute regulars!). If you’re not up for busy-ing yourself just yet, try talking to the people sitting around you before classes. Even if you don’t end up as BFF’s, it’ll break you out of your shell. Plus, you gotta start buddying up for notes on days that you may sleep through class! Be open to group study sessions, random hangouts, and last-minute party invitations. I know you’re shy, but this could be your break-through semester.

Party Girl:
No matter how outgoing or introverted a person may be, they all have had that nauseating fear that they won’t make friends in a new place. However, they are not in the golden position in which you now find yourself! You’re jumping in the middle of a social jackpot – 44,000 potential new friends. And you can never underestimate the ultimate social lubricant that flows freely through any college campus (except those weird dry ones): alcohol. Alcohol is the ultimate handshake! Through mojitos and games of beer pong, you’ll find yourself bonding with people of all sorts. Not to mention those people in your classes with whom you commiserate over mountains of homework. Trust me, “socially awkward” doesn’t exist in college. You just need a couple more drinks.

GPA Girl:
It’s so funny how we pretend as if making friends is only a problem elementary schoolers could ever have. In reality, it’s something most people have to deal with for their whole lives! Especially the shy. I hear you there, sister. Here are a few tips I’ve put to use over the years to make friends with new people in new places:

1) Join activities and clubs, even if they cost a little bit of money. Go to events that really interest you. These things are all automatic ins for finding like-minded people who have interests that mirror yours. Don’t worry about going to these things mid-year – the people there will probably be thrilled to have some new blood. Above all, do NOT talk yourself out of going to these things.
2) Boost your confidence by reminding yourself that you are a wonderful and interesting person. Yes, I’m serious. Every time you’re tempted to approach somebody new, take a deep breath first. In your head, say, “I’m interesting and I’m cool, and people want me as their friend.” Then say something. Even if it just ends at hi, force yourself to say something. If nothing clicks with that person, so what? Do it again tomorrow.
3) Find a couple of haunts that really appeal to you, and park there often. These places might be the on-campus coffee shop or the study lounge at the library or the malt shop just off campus -it doesn’t matter where – they are all good places to meet other people. Make sure you like them, because you’ll want to spend a lot of time in them so you can feel really comfortable there. Once you feel as if you belong, it’ll be easier to approach other people who end up there, since it will be like approaching them on “your” territory.
4) Be yourself. Sounds stupid, but it’s true. There are a zillion quirky things about you that your current friends and family love, and even though those are exactly the things you’d be tempted to hide from new people, they are really the things you should go out of your way to project. Those traits make you unique and attractive. Show them off!

But I think the real trouble with New Year’s resolutions is that I always make one, grand, swooping promise to myself. Let’s get real; swearing off carbohydrates just isn’t feasible. I must have been a full bottle of champagne deep when I came up with that one. I think the best way to go about this whole “new year, new you” idea is to come up with a few smaller resolutions that will keep you in line but won’t have you binge eating bread at the dining hall two weeks later.

Want to make some improvements to your already rockin’ life in 2010? Here are a few suggestions to help you be all you can be in 2010:

5. “I will go to class and stay awake.” Temptation to stay in bed is great in the winter months. There are few things I dislike more than walking to my 8:15 a.m. class in the bitter cold. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. You’d be surprised how much information you absorb just by physically being in the classroom. Next year we can work our way up to actually participating. Baby steps, ladies. Baby steps.

4. “I will become more involved on campus.” I know it’s hard when you have a steady schedule of class, food, booze and sleep, but you’d be surprised how much your quality of life will improve once you put yourself out there. Joining a group is a great way to make new friends, build up your resume and become a generally more productive student on campus. And besides, you never know who you might meet (wink, wink.)

3. “I will remove Papa John’s from my phonebook.” This is my favorite resolution. You know it’s gotten bad when you say to your roommate, “I’m so excited to go out tonight just so we can come home and order pizza and breadsticks.” Swearing off 2 a.m. food runs will be hard, but it’s not impossible. And it’s one step in the right direction to a healthier you!

2. “I will swear off one-night stands.” It happens to the best of us. I understand, I really do. We all confuse “Mr. Right” with “Mr. Right Now and Maybe Again in the Morning” sometimes. But think of all of the things you can avoid if you succeed in this resolution. No more Walks of Shame, no more awkward run-ins at D-hall brunch the next morning and no more regret. What’s more promising than a year without regret?

1. “I will realize that shotgunning beer is not a marketable skill.” Your parents may tell you this all the time, but there IS life after college. It may seem like one big party now, but being the beer pong champion will only take you so far in life before you realize you’re a broke post-grad looking down the barrel of unemployment. That sad and unfortunate image alone should be enough to inspire you to start your summer internship research now! The opportunities you make for yourself in 2010 will make graduation day and the years to follow just a little less daunting.

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
Help! It took me forever to choose a major and now that I have, I have a lot of catching up to do. Like, a lot. I’m reworking my schedule for next semester right now and I’m not sure if I should load on the classes (and take a full 18 credits) and really struggle through all the reading and writing (I’m a History major), or take an easier load and stick around for Spring/Summer term. I need to get these classes out of the way – I just don’t know if it’s better to struggle during the year or give up my summer to ease the load.

Busy Bee:
Well, first of all, congrats on choosing a major. That’s a major (no pun intended) milestone in your college career and finally puts you on track for your future. That being said, there are pros and cons to both situations. With the economy the way it is right now, grades and extracurricular activities are super important for getting a job. If taking on 18 credits prevents you from doing other things – like taking a leadership role in a student group – you may want to save some classes for the summer. And the same thing goes for your GPA. Too many classes may mean lower grades in all of them, which really isn’t worth it in the end. On the flip side, if you aren’t in any student groups yet (shame on you!), but were planning on getting an internship/related job this summer, pack the classes in now so you can add that important experience to your resume.

Party Girl:
I know that changing majors can be stressful and make you feel like you should be spending all of your time playing catch up. But honestly, college is just as much about the experience as it is about the grades and classes and if you cram your schedule so full of work that you have no time to enjoy your time as a college student, you’re going to be one unhappy camper. While all your friends are going out on weekends and making lifelong memories, you’re going to be stuck in the library reading history books and living vicariously through their Facebook albums. Take an easier load and stick around for the summer session to make up what you’ve missed. All the fun you’ll have with your college friends will totally be worth a summer semester of catching up. And, honestly, summer semester rocks. You get to be on campus and an easy schedule, meaning you get that much more time to enjoy the fun side of things.

GPA Girl:
Looks like neither option is going to be a picnic, so you’re going to have to choose what you think would be best for you. How do you do under pressure? Be honest with yourself. If you work hard and always have, you’re familiar with your track record and know you could get through a really tough semester. But if it’s more manageable for you to take fewer credits spread out over a longer period of time, there’s no shame in that (even if it does mean giving up your summer). Plus, keep this in mind – you won’t exactly be “giving up” your summer. I’m sure you won’t be the only person sticking around during that time, and you might even have the opportunity to make some really great new friends whom you wouldn’t have met during the normal school year. There’s more good news in that you finally have chosen a major, so the new classes you take should theoretically cover material that you’ll enjoy. So to summarize, if you do well with pressure, feel free to cram it all in, but please don’t spread yourself too thin. There are definite advantages to taking your time!

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I remember going to college expecting to make some of the best friends of my life. It had always seemed that way — you have nice high school friends, but gradually they fade out of the picture and your college friends dominate your life. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be?

As I arrived at school and plunged into the rigorous academic environment that was promised in the Princeton brochure, the social scene surprised me in some way. There were the usual kinds of people I expected — the jocks, the preps, the econ majors — but not the friendships I was looking forward to.

I had dining hall buddies (people to eat and swap jokes with), and homework buddies (people to frantically share answers on problem sets with), but there was no gang of girls sharing secrets and supporting each other the way there was in high school. I compared notes with other friends and they agreed; for one reason or another, no one had as close friendships in college as they did in high school.

Why?

It seems that high school is an altogether more social experience than college. The higher you rise in education, in fact, the more solitary and independent you’re expected to be, so if you get to grad school you’re basically holed up in your library cube  all day with little contact with the outside world.

People in college are independent and driven. They have career goals and they always have things to do and places to be, most of which don’t involve bonding. Even those so-called bonding sessions you think you are having seem like goals on the way to becoming the perfect, accomplished college student. That’s how the friendships seem to evolve as well: we need people to eat with, so we form dining-hall groups. We need people to help us with our work, so we form study groups. We need to bond with our sports team, so we hang out with other team members.

Friends just for the sake of friends are relatively rare.

College, in some ways, can be a lonely life. But that doesn’t mean connecting to people is impossible; you just need to know where to look.

Instead of just being drawn to the people on your hall out of geographic convenience, you’ll have to do a little sleuthing to find people who share your interests. Join a club related to what you feel passionate about. Chances are there’s a club on your campus that suits your interests, from literary magazines to ethnic identity groups to dance or film enthusiast organizations. If you’ve got problem-set buddies, that’s great, but maybe not everyone is taking the class because they love the subject. Seek out people in the class who really like what you do and talk about the homework together. Don’t just follow the crowd so you’ll have someone to party with on weekends — do a little extra work to find people you feel compatible with, and have lunch with them once or twice a week. That way, you can connect with people even if you don’t live close to them.

One thing you don’t want in college is to be hanging out with people who don’t care whether you fail or succeed, who only want to be with you as a step towards some other goal. Seek out people who will applaud your triumphs and sympathize with your hardships, and your social life on campus will be a vastly more rewarding one.