Tuffy Luv Sez: Real Friends Worry

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I met my friend freshman year when she was still dating her boyfriend from high school. We became friends and I watched their relationship fall apart dramatically over the course of the year he became overprotective and jealous and she flouted his concerns. She dated one of our guy friends (which also didn’t end well) and I think she hooked up with her ex again last summer. Fall of sophomore year came around and she lost her best girl friend over a fight about a guy. She ended up hooking up with that guy regularly until that ended as well. They’re still friends and the girl at least speaks to her now. I was her support through all of these guy problems and more, including one bad experience where a TA sent her a rude e-mail that made her extremely stressed and upset about an important professor’s opinion of her. (That becomes important.)

That about covers her dude drama and lays the foundation for the problem.  I went abroad for spring semester and she started doing research. She works with a bunch of grad students and one ended up being the rude TA, who is 24. Because the issue was sorted out after the e-mail was sent, he acted more nicely towards her…and then really nicely. He walked her back to her dorm after meetings and they talked a lot. They became friends, and his feelings for her grew. Then he sent her a 5 page e-mail about how much he liked her and how she reminds him of his ex-fiancé. If I hadn’t been abroad when this happened, she would have gotten a very clear version of how creepy I think that is. However, my friend apparently did not find that creepy and continued to pursue the relationship. When I got back I learned all of this and a few weeks later was also greeted by the news that they were secretly dating (no one knows but me because our other friends knew about both e-mail fiascos…her parents are also in the dark, probably because of the age difference). She also confided in me that they had had sex for the first time two days before, two weeks after they began secretly dating, and it was her first time.
Though she’s a very smart girl, I’m concerned about her judgment because it hasn’t been great in the past. She said they’ve spoken about the ex-fiancé and that she is ex- because he found her cheating on him about 6 months before their wedding. I think she and this guy are in very different places in their lives and I’m afraid she’s going to get hurt (or pregnant, ’cause she’s not on birth control due to bad migraines). Am I overly concerned? I haven’t mentioned anything to her yet except for my initial reaction to his confession e-mail, so she doesn’t know how I feel. I’ve been excited for her and listened/given her friendly advice about sex with him and losing her virginity. Now what?
Possibly Too-Worried Friend

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Meet the Styleta’s Student Designer Challenge Finalists

Is there anything more awesome than seeing college students reach their dreams before they even get their diploma? I’ll answer for you, no. And that’s why we’re so excited to be sponsoring the Styleta Student Design Challenge. It’s an opportunity for student designers to get their fashion designs in front of tons of people. So with no further ado, we present the top 8 finalists and their designs!

initiating the gallery...

College Q&A: Make That Paper

starbucks_baristaCollege. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me!

Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Hit me up in the comments or shoot me an email at melanie@collegecandy.com

I’m broke. Wah! What can I do?
Get. A. Job. Seriously, there’s no excuse for not working while you’re in classes. In fact, it looks great on a resume and will give you some extra cash in your pocket on the weekends. You don’t need a high power internship (although those are pretty nice), but do something to earn money. Babysitting is a great option if you want cold hard cash with none of those silly taxes. If you’re a shopaholic, work at your favorite clothing store to snag the discount. I did the J.Crew thing for a semester and got a fantastic discount and although most of my paycheck went to clothes it still alleviated some of my financial woes. Even if you just pick up five hours a week at a coffee house, it’s better than nothing. Make it rain!

My roomie snores. What should I do?
Buy earplugs. Or leave her a hint by picking some of those breathe-easy nose strips and putting them on her pillow.

I want to throw a rager, any tips for success?
If you’re going the theme party route, do something original. One of my favorite parties that me and my bestie/roomie of the moment threw was a Hollywood themed party. People came dressed as their favorite celebs and had a blast. Believe me, there’s nothing funnier than watching Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Mary Kate Olsen, Kurt Cobain and Heath Ledger all duking it out at the flip cup table. Hide your valuables, buy lots of Solo cups and cheap beer. The rest will be history, captured on Facebook. Read More »


Sexy Time: Online Lovin’

internetdatingWhen you think of internet dating, you probably think about your best friend’s 59 year-old father and his many (failed) attempts to meet “the one” on Match.com.  Even if we were dismally lonely, I highly doubt most of us would allow ourselves to get so far as to post our own profile for the viewing pleasure of a middle-aged audience.  But what if the dating site was geared towards college students?

Now don’t get me wrong, people can still do shady s**t even if they are a 22 year old Dartmouth student.  The first “dating site” I saw that was remotely geared towards college students was the Craigslist personal ad section.  No offense to any of the upstanding gentlemen on Craigslist, but I think it’s a little odd to post an ad for yourself on the same site that you advertise the cactus that your roommate peed on at your last house party.  Plus, as we all know, thanks to the “Craigslist Killer,” it’s not exactly the safest way to meet people.

So what’s a lustful but “sick-of-all-these-douche-bags” kinda girl supposed to do?  Well StudentLove.com has the answer.  (It may not be the right answer, but it’s an answer.)  In order to join their dating site, you have to have an .edu email address, so it does a pretty job of keeping out the Scary Larrys.  But just because it’s there doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good way to pick up the hotties.  Here is my oh-so-technical analysis of StudentLove: Read More »


Money Matters: StudentRate.com is THE Hottest Site for Poor College Kids!

wildcardid

Being a poor college student sucks…except when other people notice and begin to cater directly to us and our needs. Like the student rate at the movie theater, or Apple’s sweet discount for college students.

Now take the excitement you feel when you get your movie ticket for $10 instead of $12 (wooohoooo!) and multiply that by the thousands of discounts you can get by joining my new favorite discount site just for students, StudentRate.com.

Did you pee your pants yet? (I’m sure they can get you a deal on some new ones!)

This fab new site allows college students to take full advantage of their school ID – all from the coziness of their own dorm rooms.  Even better? The user-friendly layout lets us search deals by category, location, “What’s Hot,” and by browsing keywords to see what pops up.  Of course, the site is free to join (what’s the point in saving money if you have to pay to do so?), so there’s really no reason NOT to take advantage.

Here are some of the best money-savers that I came across in my latest visit to the site: Read More »


Do I Have “Study Abroad” Tattooed On My Forehead?

42.jpgI’ve studied abroad.  But not really.  If you are currently studying abroad, or plan to in the future, I can assure you that my overseas experience was a bit different.  I began my college experience in London, rather than waiting until Junior year to try the whole passport-and-a-long-ass-flight routine.  Whenever I say, “I spent a year in London,” (I transferred during sophomore year), people assume I studied abroad.  I did not.

At my school, Americans who were enrolled in degree programs were labelled “Degree Students,” while Americans who were specifically there for a semester or two were labelled “Study Abroads.”  So, while I was an American sewing my wild oats just like you might be, there were some major differences.  I moved to the UK when I was 18, fresh out of high school.  I’d never had a keg party experience, I’d never lived in a dry dorm, and I’d never been to a major college sporting event.  Though I wasn’t always on my best behavior, my best friends were from all over the world, and I could see through their eyes how Americans earned bad raps as being obnoxious, immature, and annoying.  Make the most of your experience. Don’t make these mistakes.

1.  Do Know That Your Accent Says It All.

Have you ever heard an English person swear? I don’t care how “sodding” pissed off they are, it sounds so much nicer than an American politely asking, “Whaat tye-am is etttt?”  Most natives of whatever country you’re in won’t be instantly appalled by your accent, but they will know approximately where you hail from.

2. Don’t Get Wasted and Yell Things That Would Be Funny at Home.

As I just stated, your accent gives you away.  Which can work to your advantage… or not.  Screaming your school’s sports chant– P-I-T-T Let’s Go Pitt!– is not only loud and obnoxious, but do you really think the residents of Queensland, Australia give a f*** about the University of Pittsburgh?  Singing bar songs (American or otherwise) will also make everyone, including fellow Americans, want to punch you in the face.

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Money Matters: A Click Away From Help with Your Taxes!

turbo-tax-premium.jpgI am currently staring at four W2′s, which are piled neatly on my desk next to my laptop. My dad has informed me that two more are at my parent’s house, and I need to call the restaurant I worked at last spring because I’m pretty sure they don’t have my current address. Oh, and I’m expecting at least three 1099′s for freelance work.

It’s not that I change jobs like I change my underwear. Last spring, I waited tables and worked for a travel website on my days “off.” I also had one week in January where I was paid for work study from the Fall ’07 semester. Over the summer, I worked Summerstock at a theater. Last semester, I had a paid internship, and I did marketing work for a parent company, so each of the branches I marketed for are considered a separate entity.

What the hell am I going to do? You might be asking yourself the same thing, even if you’ve only held a normal number of jobs (one, two… three?) in the past year. I mean, all the pointless Gen Eds they make us take, and none of them are “Filing Your Taxes 101.” Don’t worry. If the IRS expected everyone to file their taxes on their own, well… it would be like George W. getting reelected.

Here are a few resources I’ve come across as I’ve begun my slow descent into the Hell that is my personal tax season. Feel free to share any other links that you’ve come across. We all want to make it out of college without being arrested for tax fraud. Read More »


8 Things to Do Before ‘08 is Over

new-years-eve.jpg

With less than three weeks before we welcome 2009, now is the time to do everything you said you would do in 2008. And if any of those plans go awry? You can start off with a clean slate in under 30 days. Now is the time to carpe diem, my friends, so see 2008 out with a bang.

1) Get a jump start on your New Year’s resolution. It’ll make January 1 so much less painful. Dead set on losing weight? Start out each day with a mere 20 minutes of cardio. You’ll lose a couple of pounds before the big par-tay and be motivated to keep toning up throughout January (and beyond). Want to quit smoking? Cut down now. Cold Turkey will be easier when you’ve already cut a pack-a-day habit down to 2 or 3 nicotine sticks.

2) Ask out that hottie from lab. What do you have to lose? The semester’s almost over anyway. And if he’s interested, you might have your New Year’s kiss all lined up. Read More »


USC Student Fatally Stabbed: An Unfortunate Reminder to Us All to Stay Safe

campusfountain.jpgCollege campuses seem like these small, safe little bubbles. And we like it that way. We always feel safe leaving our windows open, talking to strangers at the bar, and walking places alone. We never question when our friends leave the party with someone we don’t know, or leaving that same party ourselves and stumbling home alone.

But maybe we should.

Last night a USC student was stabbed and killed after leaving a party on campus. Police are reporting that he got into a screaming fight with another student on the street that quickly escalated. The student, 23 year old Bryan Richard Frost, was stabbed in the chest before the suspect ran off. Frost was rushed to the hospital where he could not be saved.

It goes without saying that just because you are on a college campus, it doesn’t mean you are safe. Please think about this when you head out tonight and this weekend. Do not go home alone, remain aware of your surroundings when you are walking home with others, and do not do anything that might provoke someone to harm you.

Be safe, ladies.


Confessions of a College Mommy

baby_legs.jpgIt was down to the wire in the semester. Classes were coming to an end and everything was suddenly due. I stared at the computer trying to concentrate on the assignment at hand (one of what seemed like a million) but it wasn’t happening. I was usually pretty good about these things; I was always so on top of everything.

Although the fact that I was hours away from giving birth to my second child could have explained a few things.

That could have been it.

Hello, I’m Donyae. I’m 24 years old. I’m in college. And I’m a mom. This . . . makes things a little different. I haven’t always been a mom in college. I’m not one of those “went to school after they had their baby to give them a better life” cases. I was already in school. And then, bam!, one of those little suckers slipped past the goalie. Instant life-changing event. Less instantaneous then a car crash but somehow more life altering, because once that little person is inside of you it’s not all about you anymore.

And I was fine with that. I accepted my responsibility and made it my goal to finish school and finish it well.

But, once that baby pops out people look at you like you’re some sort of college leper.

There’s no way you can possibly achieve your dreams and still be a good mom.

You’ve made a mistake now live with it.

Baby = the end of the road for you.

Kick ass magazine job in NYC? No. Foreign ambassador? Absolutely not. Start flipping burgers – you got a baby to feed. Read More »