Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I met my friend freshman year when she was still dating her boyfriend from high school. We became friends and I watched their relationship fall apart dramatically over the course of the year he became overprotective and jealous and she flouted his concerns. She dated one of our guy friends (which also didn’t end well) and I think she hooked up with her ex again last summer. Fall of sophomore year came around and she lost her best girl friend over a fight about a guy. She ended up hooking up with that guy regularly until that ended as well. They’re still friends and the girl at least speaks to her now. I was her support through all of these guy problems and more, including one bad experience where a TA sent her a rude e-mail that made her extremely stressed and upset about an important professor’s opinion of her. (That becomes important.)

Is there anything more awesome than seeing college students reach their dreams before they even get their diploma? I’ll answer for you, no. And that’s why we’re so excited to be sponsoring the Styleta Student Design Challenge. It’s an opportunity for student designers to get their fashion designs in front of tons of people. So with no further ado, we present the top 8 finalists and their designs!

initiating the gallery...

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me!

Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Hit me up in the comments or shoot me an email at melanie@collegecandy.com

I’m broke. Wah! What can I do?
Get. A. Job. Seriously, there’s no excuse for not working while you’re in classes. In fact, it looks great on a resume and will give you some extra cash in your pocket on the weekends. You don’t need a high power internship (although those are pretty nice), but do something to earn money. Babysitting is a great option if you want cold hard cash with none of those silly taxes. If you’re a shopaholic, work at your favorite clothing store to snag the discount. I did the J.Crew thing for a semester and got a fantastic discount and although most of my paycheck went to clothes it still alleviated some of my financial woes. Even if you just pick up five hours a week at a coffee house, it’s better than nothing. Make it rain!

My roomie snores. What should I do?
Buy earplugs. Or leave her a hint by picking some of those breathe-easy nose strips and putting them on her pillow.

I want to throw a rager, any tips for success?
If you’re going the theme party route, do something original. One of my favorite parties that me and my bestie/roomie of the moment threw was a Hollywood themed party. People came dressed as their favorite celebs and had a blast. Believe me, there’s nothing funnier than watching Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Mary Kate Olsen, Kurt Cobain and Heath Ledger all duking it out at the flip cup table. Hide your valuables, buy lots of Solo cups and cheap beer. The rest will be history, captured on Facebook.

Where are the drunk people?
Is this a serious question? If you’re on a campus and it’s past 9 PM on a Friday? Everywhere. Including right here. Right now. Yeah, I like to start early.

Who are the “campus characters” to avoid?
The Over Enthused College Sports Fanatic. The self-absorbed prof who signs their emails “Doctor So-and-So” (even though their doctorate is in something that has nothing to do with the medical profession) and requires that you buy the book they’ve authored as a text book. Johnny Fratboy who’s just soooo cute and just totally won’t return your phone calls after you drunkenly hook up. Just don’t bother. There are lots of campus characters to avoid, from the druggies to the fake bitches; just be smart and stick with the people you trust.

Now don’t get me wrong, people can still do shady s**t even if they are a 22 year old Dartmouth student.  The first “dating site” I saw that was remotely geared towards college students was the Craigslist personal ad section.  No offense to any of the upstanding gentlemen on Craigslist, but I think it’s a little odd to post an ad for yourself on the same site that you advertise the cactus that your roommate peed on at your last house party.  Plus, as we all know, thanks to the “Craigslist Killer,” it’s not exactly the safest way to meet people.

So what’s a lustful but “sick-of-all-these-douche-bags” kinda girl supposed to do?  Well StudentLove.com has the answer.  (It may not be the right answer, but it’s an answer.)  In order to join their dating site, you have to have an .edu email address, so it does a pretty job of keeping out the Scary Larrys.  But just because it’s there doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good way to pick up the hotties.  Here is my oh-so-technical analysis of StudentLove:

Pro: You can see the guy’s picture before you go out with him.
Con: Sometimes you would just prefer to not to see a picture…

Pro: Members can search by state and by school so you can avoid the long-distance instant message relationship.  (PS Does anybody actually do that anymore?)
Con: Stalking can become an issue when the guy that won’t stop sending you love haikus realizes that you go to the same school.

Pro: You can widen your dating pool by putting yourself on a more public forum.
Con: It’s just a tad embarrassing when your friends (not to mention your ex-boyfriend) find your profile you made describing yourself as a “Sexy kitten ready to pounce.”

Pro: You can find love that lasts forever.
Con: You can find STIs that last even longer.

**Confession:  I was too weak sauce to actually make a profile, so I would love to hear your experiences with internet dating – good or bad. The funnier the better!

Being a poor college student sucks…except when other people notice and begin to cater directly to us and our needs. Like the student rate at the movie theater, or Apple’s sweet discount for college students.

Now take the excitement you feel when you get your movie ticket for $10 instead of $12 (wooohoooo!) and multiply that by the thousands of discounts you can get by joining my new favorite discount site just for students, StudentRate.com.

Did you pee your pants yet? (I’m sure they can get you a deal on some new ones!)

This fab new site allows college students to take full advantage of their school ID – all from the coziness of their own dorm rooms.  Even better? The user-friendly layout lets us search deals by category, location, “What’s Hot,” and by browsing keywords to see what pops up.  Of course, the site is free to join (what’s the point in saving money if you have to pay to do so?), so there’s really no reason NOT to take advantage.

Here are some of the best money-savers that I came across in my latest visit to the site:

For Class:

-Microsoft Office for only $59.95? (Where was this site when I was a freshman?) If, for whatever reason, you don’t have Office yet, now’s the time to buy.  True, many of us already have Word and Excel, but if your younger siblings are gearing up for high school graduation, you can wow your family buy buying him or her the package to go with the new laptop SOMEONE in your family is bound to give them.

-50% off E-Textbooks.   Not only does StudentRate have deals onsite, they provide links to other fabulous money saving URLs.  Take CourseSmart.com.  I stumbled upon it via SR, and discovered that you can browse textbook titles and save 50% by buy E-Text.  Pros? You save money, you save trees, and you don’t have to grow a hunchback from lugging 100 pounds of textbooks to each class.

For Health:

-EyeBuyDirect.com is offering a 10% off coupon for SR’s visitors.  Hey, with the price of contact lenses and glasses these days, that 10% can really make a difference.  AND you won’t have to squint to read your professor’s notes on the whiteboard.

-Dick’s Sporting Goods.  50% off select items when you print the coupon on StudentRate.com.  Buy yourself a new pair of running shoes, or a baseball mitt and make a game out of shaping up for the summer!

For Gifts:

-1-800-Flowers.  10% off your total order.  Hey, Mother’s Day is just around the corner!

-BlueFly.com.  There are a variety of discounts available to members only.  Bluefly is a great online shopping source for tons of designer labels.  So whether it’s your BFF’s 21st birthday, or you’ve decided to give yourself an early end-of-semester present, thank StudentRate for hooking you up!

StudentRate is still a fairly new site, so there’s no telling how far its prospects will reach.  They are currently set up to start offering entertainment, travel, and medical discounts to students, as well as regular shopping deals.  It can’t hurt to sign up – after all, if we all ban together, many more companies across the country will take note and start to offer us all discounted merchandise and services. Bring on the deals!

At my school, Americans who were enrolled in degree programs were labelled “Degree Students,” while Americans who were specifically there for a semester or two were labelled “Study Abroads.”  So, while I was an American sewing my wild oats just like you might be, there were some major differences.  I moved to the UK when I was 18, fresh out of high school.  I’d never had a keg party experience, I’d never lived in a dry dorm, and I’d never been to a major college sporting event.  Though I wasn’t always on my best behavior, my best friends were from all over the world, and I could see through their eyes how Americans earned bad raps as being obnoxious, immature, and annoying.  Make the most of your experience. Don’t make these mistakes.

1.  Do Know That Your Accent Says It All.

Have you ever heard an English person swear? I don’t care how “sodding” pissed off they are, it sounds so much nicer than an American politely asking, “Whaat tye-am is etttt?”  Most natives of whatever country you’re in won’t be instantly appalled by your accent, but they will know approximately where you hail from.

2. Don’t Get Wasted and Yell Things That Would Be Funny at Home.

As I just stated, your accent gives you away.  Which can work to your advantage… or not.  Screaming your school’s sports chant– P-I-T-T Let’s Go Pitt!– is not only loud and obnoxious, but do you really think the residents of Queensland, Australia give a f*** about the University of Pittsburgh?  Singing bar songs (American or otherwise) will also make everyone, including fellow Americans, want to punch you in the face.

3.  Do Be Polite.

You’re bound to get lost.  Or at least need to ask directions.  Be nice about it.  If you don’t understand the public transportation system, ask a station attendant, but be nice.  When I was in London, I would ask politely, “Do you know when the next train to [random borough] is coming?” And if I was cordial, they might ask where my final destination was, and then give me a better route that no guidebook could ever highlight.

4.  Don’t Get Angry Because Their Systems Are Different.

Screaming, “God, the T is so much more efficient” on a train or bus isn’t going to welcome any assistance.  Getting angry because the subway (or whatever they happen to call it over there) doesn’t run 24 hours a day isn’t going to get you home.  And if you ask a stranger for help, and they don’t know how to point you in the right direction, blatant rudeness is just uncalled for.  Getting frustrated because you can’t understand their language/accent also isn’t going to encourage them to be patient with you.

5.  Do Learn the Customs.

Immerse yourself in the culture any way you can.  If you have a work Visa, get a part time job.  You’ll meet the locals, or other study abroads from other countries.  I worked at a freaking Starbucks, and helped a Chinese coworker with his verb agreements.  He gave me a paper art Tiger.  I also befriended several English students, who explained the concepts of A-Levels, and years later, we are still close.  They also brought me to the bars and clubs that no other “Study Abroads” had stumbled upon.

If you can’t work or if you don’t waste your time behind a cash register in a foreign land, try to befriend the waitress at the cafe you go to every weekend, or attend as many community events as you can, just to take it all in.

6.  Don’t Insist on Sticking to Your American Ways.

How do you know that German delicacy won’t whet your palate? Just give it a try.  Don’t insist on shaking hands when the customs of your new country are to bow.  Sure, things may seem awkward at first, but eventually, they’ll grow on you.  Why not stay in the states if you’re going to cry over the difference in plumbing systems?   Being narrow-minded will only mean you’re missing out on a culture that could change your life.  Oh, and though it might be okay to shack up at a frat party, keep in mind that in some parts of the world, our American ways can be shocking.  You don’t have to censor yourself necessarily, but just be smart.

7.   Do Travel.

If you’re studying in a European country, you can get a cheap flight to so many other parts of the continent, on the cheap.  Check out Ireland, Italy, Spain, or France.  Check out a place you’ve never heard of (the Canary Islands are to Britain what Cancun is to the U.S.)  If you’re in a big country, like Australia, China, or Africa, check out another province.  Even if it’s just for the weekend.  Once you’re back in the states, these place won’t be so accessible.

8.  Don’t  Be Too Impulsive.

If you buy the first token souvenir you see, you may regret it later.  You might find find a better deal five minutes later (or you might get screwed over the first time around).  Take your time to learn about the trends of the country, and buy something more sentimental than a “J’Adore Paris” t-shirt.  You don’t have to do it all in one day– you’ve got a few months to learn the ropes.

9.  Do Enjoy Yourself.

Don’t cry every night because you miss your family.  Don’t rack up a phone bill calling your boyfriend in the States.  Take in all of the little things, whether it’s a tiny coffee shop or a local park.  The days of your study-abroad will fly by.  Make it count.

10.  Don’t Feel the Need to Take Unnecessary Pictures.

Imagine you’re in Times Square in New York.  You know that gaggle of people taking pictures of Planet Hollywood, who take up the whole sidewalk and won’t let any pedestrians pass until they’ve gotten their group shot? Ugh.  Asking the coffee shop attendant in Amsterdam to pose for a pic of you and your first space cake is cliche and annoying.  It’s okay to document all of the new sights you encounter, but there’s no need to objectify the locals for your own personal scrap-booking needs.

11. Don’t View a Lower Drinking Age as an All-Access Party Pass.

In countries with more leniant drinking laws, students your age have been raised to drink in moderation.  It’s not such a big deal to get into a bar without being carded.  So, if you’re studying abroad and you’re not 21, take your newfound legality as an opportunity to learn about how certain wines are made, or how hoppy you like your beer.  Try all of the “real” Sangria, Sake, Mojitos, Caipirhinas, and Ales that you can, but learn to appreciate a nice drink, rather than play the “how many beers can I pound in an hour” game.

It’s not that I change jobs like I change my underwear. Last spring, I waited tables and worked for a travel website on my days “off.” I also had one week in January where I was paid for work study from the Fall ’07 semester. Over the summer, I worked Summerstock at a theater. Last semester, I had a paid internship, and I did marketing work for a parent company, so each of the branches I marketed for are considered a separate entity.

What the hell am I going to do? You might be asking yourself the same thing, even if you’ve only held a normal number of jobs (one, two… three?) in the past year. I mean, all the pointless Gen Eds they make us take, and none of them are “Filing Your Taxes 101.” Don’t worry. If the IRS expected everyone to file their taxes on their own, well… it would be like George W. getting reelected.

Here are a few resources I’ve come across as I’ve begun my slow descent into the Hell that is my personal tax season. Feel free to share any other links that you’ve come across. We all want to make it out of college without being arrested for tax fraud.

1. The IRS Themselves.

This handy-dandy little page includes links for everything from the generic “Help With Tax Questions,” to “How Do You Report Suspected Tax Fraud Activity?” to “IRS.gov Web Policies.” That last one might be a good link to check out. Before you attempt to conquer your taxes alone, or spend the money on a consultant, you may want to check out the “Help Finding a Specific Form or Publication” page, which allows you to locate the documents you need by topic.

Are you reading this column, and fear it’s already too late? The IRS has a Taxpayer Advocate Service. Hallelujah.

2. H & R Block

One of the leading names in tax assistance, the H & R Block website has easy access to tax professionals, as well as online options “for any budget.” If you’ve already been to a tax pro, you can search for him or her here, and if you’ve never been, you can filter all of the H & R reps through location or area of expertise. They have a free online service that claims to be “simple,” as well as programs for a mere $40 and up. Hey, if doing your taxes correctly means a big ass rebate, $40 is chump change.

If you’re still having trouble, try the customer service support or the Income Tax Course, which includes tips on how to get started on your taxes.

3. TurboTax

The “Tax Tips” on the main page not only include a link just to resources for college students, but a Tax Estimator to break the big news before you hire a professional. Like H & R Block, TurboTax has online software, ranging from free programs to a customized $29.95 deal.  Not too shabby.

4.  Tax Help Online 

This site may not have the brand recognition of H & R Block or Turbo Tax, but with tabs like “Tax Help Now!”, “Ask the Expert,” “IRS Problem Solver,” and “Situation Analysis,” it’s pretty appealing.  Compiled by Dan Pila, Tax Help Online also has a bloglike newsletter with featured articles like this month’s Standard Mileage Rates for 2009.  The con? You have to pay for a lot of special features, and there are certain topics that Pila can’t address here, though the site can help you find a tax pro close to you.

5.  Your Dad 

Hop on your Gmail, and email your pops, or some other reliable family member, if you’re still having trouble.  They’ve been doing taxes a lot longer than usual, and may be able to point you in the direction of a trusted tax advisor, the best program for you, or, if you’re lucky, volunteer to do your taxes for you.  My dad has done my taxes for me in the past, though this year I’m on my own.  But he still has some recommendations for where I can get my tax help without spending hours filing through Google search results.

With less than three weeks before we welcome 2009, now is the time to do everything you said you would do in 2008. And if any of those plans go awry? You can start off with a clean slate in under 30 days. Now is the time to carpe diem, my friends, so see 2008 out with a bang.

1) Get a jump start on your New Year’s resolution. It’ll make January 1 so much less painful. Dead set on losing weight? Start out each day with a mere 20 minutes of cardio. You’ll lose a couple of pounds before the big par-tay and be motivated to keep toning up throughout January (and beyond). Want to quit smoking? Cut down now. Cold Turkey will be easier when you’ve already cut a pack-a-day habit down to 2 or 3 nicotine sticks.

2) Ask out that hottie from lab. What do you have to lose? The semester’s almost over anyway. And if he’s interested, you might have your New Year’s kiss all lined up.

3) Have a clothing-swap party. Clean out the stuff you bought in 2008 because you thought it would make a fashion statement. Encourage your friends to do the same, and then get together and see if anyone wants someone else’s duds. If your friends don’t want your fashion don’ts, donate them to the Salvation Army or another charity, and start off 2009 with some good Karma.

4) Buy some Obama memorabilia. Come on! Comemorate history in the making with an Obama t-shirt or button or novelty Barack condoms. You’ll be good to go for 2009′s much-anticipated inauguration.

5) Do something BIG. Has 2008 flown by too quickly? Don’t wait till New Years Eve when everyone’s going to be out and about. Grab tickets to a concert, a sporting event, a theater performance, or a comedy show. Get out of the house (and out of your normal weekend routine), and buy a ticket for something that you can file into your scrapbook under “2008.” If you can afford it, take a weekend getaway. If you can’t, try to find one of your city’s secret gems, like a free museum visit or a student discount pass to a local attraction.

6) Make contact. If you’ve lost touch with someone or had a falling out, this is the perfect season to reconnect and make amends. Reflect back on 2008. Should you apologize to your ex-best friend for having a blow out that really wasn’t that significant? Have you grown apart from your Spring ’08 lab partner? Did someone make a difference in your life last year, and you never got to properly thank them? Why wait till “next year”? Do it now.

7. Have a “Best Of” party. Tell your friends to dress in their favorite ’08 trends (even if they went out a couple of months ago), bring over their iPods and blast the best jams of the passing year, or have a 2008 movie marathon. Have everyone write down some 2008 memories, and throw them into a hat; then, read everyone’s contributions out loud. Nothing ends a good year with some damn good reminiscing.

8. Do something small. But still meaningful. Check out this blogger’s “45 Things to Do Before 2009″ List and see if you get inspired. Rent some of Hollywood.com’s “Must See” suggestions. Or, see what other peoples’ goals are, and see if you can relate.

The clock is ticking, friends, and you can’t make up for lost time. What do you hope to accomplish before we begin a new year?

But maybe we should.

Last night a USC student was stabbed and killed after leaving a party on campus. Police are reporting that he got into a screaming fight with another student on the street that quickly escalated. The student, 23 year old Bryan Richard Frost, was stabbed in the chest before the suspect ran off. Frost was rushed to the hospital where he could not be saved.

It goes without saying that just because you are on a college campus, it doesn’t mean you are safe. Please think about this when you head out tonight and this weekend. Do not go home alone, remain aware of your surroundings when you are walking home with others, and do not do anything that might provoke someone to harm you.

Be safe, ladies.

Although the fact that I was hours away from giving birth to my second child could have explained a few things.

That could have been it.

Hello, I’m Donyae. I’m 24 years old. I’m in college. And I’m a mom. This . . . makes things a little different. I haven’t always been a mom in college. I’m not one of those “went to school after they had their baby to give them a better life” cases. I was already in school. And then, bam!, one of those little suckers slipped past the goalie. Instant life-changing event. Less instantaneous then a car crash but somehow more life altering, because once that little person is inside of you it’s not all about you anymore.

And I was fine with that. I accepted my responsibility and made it my goal to finish school and finish it well.

But, once that baby pops out people look at you like you’re some sort of college leper.

There’s no way you can possibly achieve your dreams and still be a good mom.

You’ve made a mistake now live with it.

Baby = the end of the road for you.

Kick ass magazine job in NYC? No. Foreign ambassador? Absolutely not. Start flipping burgers – you got a baby to feed.

(And that’s why I breast feed; because it’s free…and you can do it while typing.)

For me becoming a mom was about not giving up. Sure I can no longer run the streets and stay up all night cramming – I just don’t have the energy – but I’m still fun and fabulous. I’m still awesome and brilliant and all the other random stuff I was before. I don’t want to say that getting pregnant forced me to grow up, because that’s cliché and stupid (and not really that true anyway). I was just as grown up before; I just have better time management skills now. And I can budget my cute little butt off!

I didn’t shut down my world. I actually made a point to expand it. I travel more, I keep in closer contact with my friends, don’t let things with school get overwhelming. I’m more open with my situation (not just the babies; I mean getting sick, backed up with work, whatever) than I was in the past. Before I was more apt to keep it all to myself and let everything get out of hand. Now I just try to be open and up front about things with people and approach everything with an open mind.

Despite all the stares and naysayers I keep on keeping on: with school, with life, with everything. Having a baby does change things – I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. I would be lying if I tried to say that life was just a walk in a park after kids. It’s not. It’s hard sometimes and things are different but it’s all for the greater good. Sure it’s a little more difficult, but you learn to do what you have to do to make it work.

3 am feedings? That’s time to plan out next week’s term paper.

Effects of language in young toddlers? I have test subjects.

Being a mom in college isn’t about some great struggle against society. I think I’m awesome and my kids are awesome and that’s the way things are. Yes I’m a mom but at the end of the day, I’m still me.