When I made the big decision to go to college and not travel around Europe for a year,  it was because I enjoy being taught in a classroom. I’ve enjoyed being taught psychology and the different techniques of advertising. World history…erm… not so much, but I try in every class I take because I’m paying to get this education. And you better believe I want one heck of an education when I cross that stage in May.

So you must imagine how surprised I was to learn that, according to a recent study, “45% of Students Don’t Learn Much in College.”

Hold the phone, people. And by that I mean this is all 100% crap. And I’m getting angry enough to throw some. (Seriously, read that article and join me….)

First of all, who on earth were polled and interviewed for this 4-year study? Who is the student who claimed he could get by using Wikipedia and “pass anything”? Maybe that’s what it’s like in the ho-hum classes he chose to take (most likely based on “Easy A” reviews by older students on RateMyProfessor.com), but at my school you would be laughed out of the classroom if you used Wikipedia as a direct source for anything. And it’s not like BSU is some top notch, Ivy League institution.

But that’s not even what’s making my blood boil. No, that’s reserved for the barometer by which they’re measuring “academic progress.” And what is that? Whether or not students have done 20 pages worth of writing in their college classes. Yes, apparently all academic success comes down to how many pages someone can write, and being able to fill 20 pages (with a bit of research and a lot of filler) is definitely necessary for all future career success. And apparently, students aren’t doing that enough.

So….we’re screwed? Well, that’s what they’ll have you believe.

But you know what’s not mentioned in this study? What’s not being considered when measuring what students are gaining from their college educations? The other stuff. The real stuff. The life stuff.

- The time management skills when we’re balancing classes, all that class work, work and other activities.
- The research skills, which are imperative for entry-level positions and beyond.
- The problem solving, from our experiences with friends and roommates to actual problem sets in classes.
- The critical thinking skills we employ when we’re sifting through large writing assignments or building presentations.
- The survival skills.

There is more to college than what we learn in the classroom and there is definitely more than writing 20-page papers for class. Just because someone’s not doing that doesn’t mean they’re not learning. I think sometimes people (namely those that aren’t in college and haven’t been for many years) forget that while in college you are not only learning the quantative equation for rubber but you’re also gaining even more important skills that are invaluable when graduation (sadly) comes.

I’m not an expert on measuring learning, no doubt, but I have a feeling either is the person behind this study. I mean, I’m sure this guy wrote some stellar 20-page papers and look at the bullsh*t he’s spewing now?

Due to the exceptionally high unemployment rate and our falling world ranking concerning the percentage of college-educated adults, the Obama administration feels we need to focus on community colleges to provide a more affordable education for America’s youth. Obama is looking to improve the number of college degrees by 5 million before 2020.

Undeniably, a two-year, community college education would make many students’ resumes more appealing to any future employer than having no higher education at all. However, after already shoveling over $3 billion to help low-income students at colleges with an average graduation rate of 20% (versus the 58% rate career colleges boast), Obama’s plan is far from cheap.

The move toward this plan would attempt to partner community colleges with various businesses and focus curriculum on skills necessary for students’ desired career choices, making them more appealing to said partners. The plan has received some backlash, especially from for-profit career colleges. However, all-in-all, it hasn’t received much attention.

Education reform has been a minor, but much-buzzed about issue, for years in America. However, most legislation has been based on numbers – on measurable success, on the results of standardized tests. Now, since we’re not required to take some annoying, #2 pencil (and totally pointless) test at the higher level, the success of colleges is being evaluated based on their number of graduates… and, more importantly, their number of employed graduates.

Although it’s great that Obama is trying to make a college education a realistic option for many young Americans, I’m not sure this specific plan will be truly successful. Why? Well the fundamental issue Americans are facing is not a lack of education, but a lack of jobs.

Yes, it would be awesome to regain our spot as the leading country in the competition for “Who has the most college graduates?” However, what good is dishing out several thousands of dollars (or relying on Uncle Sam to foot the bill) when there aren’t any positions for you to enter into afterward.

Obama’s plan focuses on community colleges, “the unsung heroes” of America, and making students much more “hireable.” However, there are many students that went to prestigious, 4-year colleges that remain unemployed. I could provide various links to news articles attempting to support my point. But, as I’m sure many of you readers know, all you have to do is talk to your recently graduated friends or look in a mirror. Having a college education will not guarantee you a job.

Obama and Jill Biden’s proposal for Community Colleges is theoretically excellent. It provides education opportunities for under-privileged students that would otherwise not exist. But, it could potentially cause even greater problems, rather than solve them. It has already added to the deficit, it focuses on quantity over quality, and it would increase skilled American workers, but not the amount of jobs in the market. So, at the end of the day, would it really help American students?

What do you think? Should we focus on creating skilled workers, or on creating jobs?

College students are notoriously strapped for cash, and everyone on campus knows this.  Maybe administrators only do it because they feel guilty for sucking thousands of dollars out of our bank accounts, but the truth is, they actually provide plenty of awesome things for students to utilize – but we never seem to take these opportunities.  Why is it that the turnout for dollar beer night is always SO much greater than the number of students who show up for on-campus lectures?

There are so many chances that college students simply fail to take advantage of.  Here’s a little bucket list, College Candy style.  Make sure you take advantage of each of these things at least once before graduation.  Trust us – these opportunities are painfully rare once you get out into the real world.

Newspapers - Recently, we heard about a school that decided to terminate its free subscription to the Wall Street Journal because students just weren’t picking up copies.  Most institutions offer free copies of top papers, only to find discarded piles week after week.  Even if you only take it for the crossword, grabbing a free copy is totally worth it.

Special Guests – We’re not just talking about the lectures that pertain to your courses (although we totally advocate going to those too!). A lot of schools invest time and funds to bring really interesting people to campus, but students just don’t seem to appreciate it.  Take the time my school had Project Runway runner-up Althea Harper come in and talk about her experiences as a designer – it doesn’t get much cooler or more current than that, but only a handful of students dragged themselves away from happy hour to attend the event.  Piece of advice: the next time you see a sign promoting a guest speaker, check it out.  It may be your chance to get some great advice, listen to amusing anecdotes, or even meet a celeb – and you can usually do all this for free (or at least cheap).

Clubs -  Even super-involved high school students seem to have difficulty joining clubs in college.  Maybe they are time-consuming, but the truth is that clubs give you a much-needed break from the monotony of classes and homework.  Everything is offered, from musical groups to the school paper to intramural sports.  The second best thing about clubs is that they give you a chance to try something new, even if you don’t have a ton of experience or talent; clubs lack the competition and pressure of more official activities. The best part?  Free food is served at most of the meetings.

Dining Hall Buffets – The ABSOLUTE best way to really get bang for your buck.  Go on a totally empty stomach and let yourself go for four helpings of pure deliciousness.  It’s a great way to try a lot of new dishes, too. My personal recommendation?  Go during finals week, eat lunch, sit around and study while grazing on snacks, and then eat a full-on dinner a few hours later.  Just make sure you have a pair of oversized sweatpants on hand for the next day

Interesting Courses – So many people take classes for one reason and reason only: to satisfy graduation requirements.  But take it from a recent grad; college has so much more to offer.  The absolute best choice I ever made in my four years was signing up for a diversity workshop.   So if you’ve always secretly wanted to try pottery, sign up for a course.  Make it your mission to take at least one random elective every year – who knows what you might learn?

So here you have it, kids.  And one last piece of advice: if you’re shelling out thousands for school, try to limit skipping class to the mornings when you’re just too hungover to get out of bed.

For every hour a student is in class, he or she should be studying for two.  That’s what they say, but is that what you do?  The Huffington Post reports that students today are studying drastically less than their predecessors.  While you or I might roll our eyes and say, “Duh Mr. Scientist man, haven’t you heard of Facebook?” the brains behind this study insist that social media outlets are not to blame for our desire to slack off.  Well…then what gives?  After briefly scratching my head and doing a minimal amount of research, I’ve come to the following conclusions:

Uhhh, It’s Called the Internet
While this report insists that the Internet is not to blame for our poor study skills, I have to disagree.  It’s not so much that I think we’re all on Facebook (she says as she closes that tab), I just think that the process of cracking a book open has changed so dramatically since the good ol’ days.  No longer are we wasting time flipping through card catalogues and rummaging in the library stacks.  It’s a simple point and click world- from Wikipedia to the New York Times archives, we have everything at our fingertips.  I refuse to believe that that doesn’t expedite our cram time.

Housewives Marathon.  All. Weekend. Long.
Guys, admit it: reality TV is like crack cocaine even to an actual crack addict.  Give me a comfy sofa (hell, give me the floor) and six solid hours of Project Runway, Housewives, The Hills…even a really good infomercial has the capacity to grab my attention.  When given the choice between a ten-pound Chemistry book and P.Diddy hawking Proactiv, there simply is no choice.

Maybe We’re Just Smarter
Think about it.  How many times had you been on a plane before you were 22?  How many channels do you get on your television?  How many towns have you lived in?  Compare your numbers to those of your mother and grandmother, and I can almost guarantee you’ll have them beat.  It’s a simple fact that, for the most part, our generation is exposed to a greater variety of lifestyles, cultures, and people than our older relatives.  I’m a big believer that we all learn by osmosis.  I’m not talking about falling asleep with your American Lit notes under your head; I mean submersing yourself in the unfamiliar and achieving a greater understanding of the world through it.  Perhaps global concepts come easier to us because of all the diversity we’re exposed to on a regular basis.

The bottom line: time spent studying is not a measure of the amount accomplished.  I think that we’re a generation of hard workers who has been lucky enough to come around at a time when speedy laptops have replaced typewriters.  I mean, seriously, I’d hate to miss Dollar Beer Night because I was stuck in some musty library all night.  Am I right?

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Girl, raising hand in class.)

Girl: Wait, so … some languages don’t have vowels? That’s IMPOSSIBLE! How are you supposed to pronounce them? Do you have to guess? I can’t believe that! That’s so stupid! *scribbles furiously in notebook*

(Professor, teaching a class.)

Prof: Heaven is hard to describe. I’ve seen plenty of evocative depictions of Hell, but I’ve never seen a truly compelling vision of Heaven.

Student, interrupting: May I suggest one?

Prof: No. I want to talk about something else.

(Two guys, getting into their car.)

Guy: You ever notice that every time we go to make candles, one of us cheats on his girlfriend?

(Girl, complaining as she’s packing up to leave class.)

Girl: I feel like our professor likes giving us problems with gross pieces of meat. Like, one of the answers on the next exam will just be “BALONEY.”

(Girl, drunk, in bathroom stall.)

Girl: Hey. It’s me. I’m drunk and this is weird to do on a voicemail but I just made out with someone at the bar. I want to break up. Call me.

(Two guys, talking over coffee.)

Guy 1: What was Singapore like? How were the Singaporeans?

Guy 2: Kinda cool. They mostly read Waiting for Godot in funny accents.

(Guy, late at night, finds a guy asleep on a picnic table.)

Guy 1: Hey… dude, are you all right? Wake up!

Guy 2: Wha… man, no, I’m studying… yeah…

Guy 1: You’re gonna get eaten by a bear, dude.

(Guy, girl, hunched over a notebook.)

Guy: So… she’s a nurse?

Girl: With a giant bloody f***ing hammer, yes.

(Two girls, standing in line at the dining hall.)

Girl 1: Is Becky doing well?

Girl 2: Yeah, I saw her today. Almost broke my neck.

Girl 1: What?

Girl 2: Whiplash.

(Guy, girl, on couches.)

Guy: Holy s—! The hairy eyeballs have escaped!

Girl: Wait, did you just say that?

Guy: Friday afternoon, you know.

(Girl at a restaurant.)

Girl, to waiter: Can we have some more of these pumpkin things?

Waiter: You mean the burgers?

Girl: Is that it? Yeah, sure.

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Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send 'em over!.]

“So I was going to go to the package store, and then I thought, hey, you know what, Fruit by the Foot. That ever happen to you?”

“It’s been a hairy week. Pubic hair, mostly.”

“I’m furious! This is terrible! The whole place smells like… boys! I’m gonna have to make, like, 20 bags of popcorn to get the stink out!”

(A teacher.)

“I love all my students. They’re just the cutest little puppies. Now, my puppies, let’s talk about sex.”

“I’d go to church if they had, like, communion eclairs or something. Or communion steak.”

“Or communion free money.”

“… and I was like, oh, my God, my nephew is eight years old and he’s wearing a huge hat with a shark fin on it. He’s one of those kids.”

“We should get more interns. They’re like human-shaped trash disposals.”

“Go to sleep, b****! Die, motherf***er, die! Time’s up b****, close your eyes!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Oh. I, uh, I guess you haven’t heard that song.”

“No.”

And this gem, thanks to a CC reader:

“It’s a benefit concert about alcohol awareness.”

“But I AM aware!”

The trailers of these films look promising, and then the movies crash and burn. Big time. And they become the laughingstock of twelve year old kids everywhere who thought they were being daring by watching that movie that mommy and daddy told them not to.

But, wait. That movie was a joke.

In the spirit of Halloween, my friends and I were recently trying to list the best scary movies of all time, but in doing so, we ended up creating a list of the 5 worst. It seems like those were easier to come up with because usually there’s no argument; they are unanimously bad. These movies don’t send chills down your spine or make you jump when someone comes up behind you. These not-so-scary movies make you laugh. Hard.

In no particular order:

5. IT - I know, I know. Many will argue this movie was actually creepy. It’s Stephen King. It’s about clowns. I mean, everybody is afraid of clowns. Or at least, a good two-thirds of the population. And still it makes my worst movie list because of the 180 turn in the middle of the movie. The first half isn’t bad – it kinda creeped me out a bit – but the second half? It negated the entire first part of the movie. I mean, the first half you have this clown terrorizing these poor defenseless kids. And in the second half, you have this clown terrorizing these poor defenseless adults, including John Ritter. But wait! It isn’t a clown at all! It’s an alien from outer space that looks like a giant spider? And you can kill it with an inhaler used by asthmatics everywhere? Wait, what?

4. The Blair Witch Project – This movie had such promise, and it did manage to frighten some people. (And kudos to them for using a viral campaign before anyone even knew what a viral campaign was.) But come. on. people. The actors were good, but that’s just it: they were actors. It wasn’t real!!

3. Cry Wolf – This movie also had major potential! College students involved in a great game (or at least a game with a great premise). Students start getting picked off and there’s this great mystery and then… it falls. Flat. And hard. By the time the credits started rolling, a guy two rows in front of me stood up and loudly proclaimed “I want my ten dollars back!” That was probably the highlight of the entir night.

2. Freddy Vs. Jason – Ah crossovers. Two villains for the price of one? Hell yes! The great thing about this movie is that by the time it came along, I think people knew that both franchises had gotten a little campy. So the masterminds behind it tried to make it a little campy. And they succeeded. I don’t know if this movie was ever actually supposed to be scary. I mean, one girl in the movie was looking into a nose job and had dreams of having her nose sliced off by Freddy. That is not scary; that is pathetic.

1. Jason X - As long as we’re talking about horror movie legends gone wrong, I thought I’d include this one. This movie is basically Jason past his prime and trying to redeem himself from his battle with Freddy. Oh and it’s in space. Yup, on a ship. Set in the future.

So there you have it. Five great movies that won’t make you jump out of your seat, but are definitely good for a laugh (without actually intending to).

Which ones do you think I missed? Let me know!

(Photo courtesy of _Villains’ via flickr)

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Heidi Klum loves her milk.

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What insult should be the new “douchebag“?

I know I do some of those things. I am a huge supporter of animals’ rights, but even I think that PETA is a bit extreme when it comes to getting their point across. And it appears that some of their members are taking that extremism even further.

PETA intern, Jennifer Thornburg, Cutout Dissection.com convinced federal courts to change her name to support Cut Out Dissection Month in October.

Now, I don’t know if it’s fame, pure insanity, or a real dedication to the cause, but this girl is making a bold statement. This is originality and creativity at its finest. All in the “name” of community service!

So why did this 19 year old intern do this? She wanted to raise awareness about the six million animals that are killed for dissection each year. The animals suffer painful deaths. She hopes to raise awareness amongst students and teachers to say no to dissection, and yes to alternative ways of anatomy.

Around PETA and to her fellow interns, she is known as simply Cut Out, but her parents still call her Jenny. She loves introducing herself as Cutout Dissection.com because it engages people in conversation about dissection efforts, thus leading to ways they can get involved and help the cause.

Although, I can’t help but wonder what strangers think when she introduces herself at the bar:

“Hey, pretty lady. I’m Jon.”

“Hi Jon. I’m Cutout Dissection.com.”

“What?”

Tell me what do you think: is this amazing dedication or just plain crazy?