Days as a Freshman: 44

Mood: Peaceful

“And I was all, ‘you can’t just grab my boobs without asking first!’”

Stacey pushed through our door without knocking; barging in on what had been a peaceful study session between Rebecca and myself.

Dropping her purse by the door, kicking off her shoes in the middle of the room, and letting two shopping bags collapse all over her desk, Stacey continued to scream into her purple rhinestoned phone.

“It’s like, if you’re gonna reach for them, you gotta ask my permission, you know?” Digging around inside one of the shopping bags, Stacey took no notice of the serene environment she had just disrupted. “Seriously. Anyway, I gotta go. If I don’t fold these shirts right now they’ll totally wrinkle.”

Clicking her phone shut with one hand, Stacey raised a pile of newly purchased polos in another and spun around towards us. “What’re you kids doing in here? It smells weird. Something’s burning.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes and turned her back on Stacey. “We’re burning incense. And studying. You know…the thing people do that makes college worthwhile?”

“Oh.” Stacey looked over at us and made a face, somehow completely tuning out Rebecca’s insult. “It’s a Thursday night. Definitely not a studying night.”

Stepping around our history notes and upturned flashcards, Stacey walked over to her bed and began to carefully fold her new shirts, handling each one like snow that would melt at the slightest pressure. “Didn’t see you at the dance last week, Grace. Didn’t you say you were going?” Read More »

Not even a month into my senior year of college and I’ve already skipped two classes, started my homework for all of them the night before or the morning of class, and most impressively, have yet to even open the textbook for one class. It looks like this will be my finest year of procrastination yet.

My procrastination however, is actually quite productive in its own way.

I don’t simply lounge around on the couch and troll Facebook to see what my best friend from elementary school is up to these days. I mean of course I do that too, but you’d be surprised at how effective your time-wasting can actually be, aside from effectively lowering your GPA. Check out these sites next time you’re procrastinating, which will likely be within in the next 24 hours:

Watch TV on alluc.org

This site has years of procrastination in store for you, from anime cartoons to movies to guilty-pleasure TV shows from simpler days. “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place,” anyone?

Get Life Advice at tomatonation.com

This gal Sara “Sars” Bunting is a humor writer and totally addictive. You’ll find all sorts of essays on her site, but it’s her advice column that has me refreshing her page an alarming number of times a day. Best of all? Her advice archives are separated into categories, so no matter what your current life drama, you’ll find some sound advice or at least some comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in your all-consuming hatred for your roommate’s cat and why won’t it stop peeing on the couch?! Read More »

I had a poignant moment during my very last all-nighter of undergrad:

I was finishing my very last assignments ever of my Salem College career and somewhere around 5:30 am I jumped up, ran from our camp in the basement of a different dorm, and bolted to my room to brush my teeth.

I could no longer ignore the fact that I had not brushed my teeth and they felt as fuzzy as the fleece I was wearing.

It was sick. I was sick. I had a problem. I could no longer function—or write—during the day. But I had made it to the end.

And then, I slept. For about two days straight.

To say that I mastered the all-nighter during my four years would be an understatement. I was pretty much the ninja master of staying awake for hours on end, typing furiously at my keyboard and screwing around long enough during the normal hours (until at least 3 am) to HAVE to make it until class the next day.

Damn you, facebook.

My best friend and I would down coffee, pop adderall (hey, at least mine was prescribed) and sleep in shifts. The second semester of my senior year was so grueling I was pulling at least one a week just to keep up. Writing and editing the first four chapters of a novel is no easy feat.

I basically triple majored. It was a dumb idea. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 23

Current Mood: Lovesick

“Hey guys!”

Stacy’s voice was too loud for the library, and much too loud for my ears. Plunking herself down at our table, she made sure that she was sitting opposite Sasha, and leaning close enough to almost touch his forehead with hers.

After bumping into him in the dining hall, I had somehow miraculously started a conversation about Chemistry—the class we had together—and mentioned that I was headed to the library to study for the chapter quiz. I was just going to do the same thing, he said, smiling in a way that made me feel like I was having a mini heart attack. Wanna study together?

I knew full well studying with Sasha meant studying his face, not our notes, but in the scope of life, I figured one failed quiz was worth a few hours next to the cutest boy I had ever seen. Read More »

We’ve all been there. It’s a little past 2am and you’re 3 paragraphs into a paper due in a few hours, on a subject you only vaguely understand, for a class you go to only when it’s on the way to happy hour.You’ve typed every word that relates to your paper topic into Google, and you’ve come up with nary a Wikipedia entry.

So what’s the problem? Well, besides your knack for procrastination and admirable laziness, it could be your research skills.

Before you give up and accept defeat (and an F), pour yourself a hot cup of coffee and check out these research sites that have saved me more than once:

Spark Notes: You may not have used this site since high school, but I assure you, it’s even more useful now. From novel summaries that you’ve been using since 7th grade English class to summary-style subject reviews, you can find help for almost anything here, from Shakespeare to physics. I’ve gotten A’s on papers on books I didn’t read because of this site, and it saved my butt when I was cramming for a psychology final and couldn’t for the life of me, understand a specific topic. Their review for specific subject are great at explaining something simply and thoroughly. Read More »

SAT. What a horrible word. The lost hours that stupid test took from me will never be replaced, and the sheer embarrassment I felt looking at my math score will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The English part of that standardized bullshit was easier for me than the mind numbing numbers sections, but a little thing called vocabulary kept me from getting a top score. Learning words that people don’t use on a daily basis wasn’t ever something I cared to do, but had I only known a few more nerdy terms, I could have hit the language jackpot.

Classless Education, a “collective of comedy writers and educators” have decided I’m not the only one who could use some vocab help. The group recently put out a book called The Yo Momma Vocabulary Builder, an “irreverent, educational” paperback that attempts to teach the finer points of language with some of the oldest jokes in the book. Read More »

It’s getting to be about that time of the term again…all nighter season. Spending the night in the library is bad enough without looking as crappy as you feel. It’s high time to retire your ratty old sweats for some clothes that are just as comfortable, but completely adorable. Maybe you’ll catch the eye of the hot guy pouring over his Econ book across from you in the library.

This hoodie feels like buttah and comes in a bunch of different colors. Unisex Flex Hoodie: American Apparel $40. Read More »

We have all been there at one time or another- staring mindlessly at that long list of questions, still warm from the xerox machine, clueless and stupified. Am-i-right???

“I mean, I wanted to study, really, but there was this party, and there was this guy, and one thing led to another and here I sit- I am totally screwed.”

Well don’t beat yourself up too bad. You are not alone. Scribd.com has put together a collection of exam answers from students just like yourself, that for one reason or another, just didn’t get around to studying. Take a look, this will make you feel better.