Tax Day isn't so bad when your nibbling on one of these. FOR FREE.

So tomorrow is Tax Day!  Yay!  Well, actually, not really, because taxes blow.  Signing that check is like a shot to the heart to all the money that I have made…the little of it that there is.  Basically taxes suck.  BUT.  Tax Day has an upside.  “How can that be?”  You might ask.  Well reader, I shall tell you.

FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF!! (And some pretty great discounts to boot.)

To help ease the pain of forking over all your hard-earned money to Uncle Sam, a few mighty fine companies are offering up some really great free sh*t. So put the wallet away and get ready to rake in the freebies!

Subway: FREE COOKIE!!  (No purchase necessary!)

Starbucks: FREE coffee if you bring in a reusable mug or cup!! (Al Gore/Leo/Mother Earth would be proud.)

Jamba Juice: FREE smoothie with this coupon!!

Maggie Moos: One FREE slice of ice cream pizza from 3-7 pm! (Never had it, but putting two of my favorite things together has to be delish.)

Cinnabon: Two FREE cupcake bites between 6 and 8 pm!!

Boston Market: Buy one plate get one FREE with this coupon!!

McCormick & Schmick’s: $10.40 dinner and drink specials, plus a free $10.40 certificate for a future visit!!

P.F. Changs: 15% off your bill for dine-in or carry out!

Dunkin Donuts: FREE doughnut!!

Staples and Office Depot: FREE copying for up to 30 (Staples) or 25 (Office Depot) single-sided pages of tax documents!! (OK, so that one’s not so exciting, but it could be good for all you procrastinators out there…)

Wow, that was a lot of exclamation points, but can you blame me? We’re talking free food here, peeps; if that’s not worth some enthusiasm, I don’t know what is. I’ve never been so proud to be an American.

Welcome back to The Rival Rundown! If you’ve always wanted to give props to your school on CC, now’s your chance! Shoot us an email explaining what’s awesome and unique about your school (or what stinks about Rival U) at rivalrundown@collegecandy.com!

Let’s travel to the Midwest, where the people are friendly, the food is hearty, and the state school rivalries are relentlessly combative. In the great state of Indiana, two state school systems (Indiana University and Purdue University) are so entrenched in a battle for loyalty that many homes boast signs in their windows reading “A House Divided”–or in other words, the domain has both Purdue and IU alumni.  Can one school win the rights to true Hoosier pride?

1. Mascot Match-up

Indiana – The Hoosiers are not only the university mascot but the state nickname–a term for someone who transports bales of cotton.  Though a derogatory word in other parts of the country, a Hoosier is a label of pride in Indiana!
Purdue – The Boilermakers get their moniker from the longstanding tradition of excellence in engineering at Purdue, which in the 1890s (at the time of the mascot’s inception) meant toiling in the forge room to boil and meld metal.

Three credits to: Indiana, since it takes some balls to claim a questionable slang term for a school (and state) nickname!

2. Crimson and Gold Cup Stats

Indiana – In the six academic years the contest has been held, Indiana has won 3 times and tied once.
Purdue – Won the Cup in ’07, and tied in ’08.

Three Credits to:  Indiana has the definitive edge here!

3. Academic Specialties

Indiana – New York isn’t the only place to make it as a journalist– Indiana is a tour de force in producing great writers. The university has graduated more than 30 Pulitzer Prize winners, while its creative writing MFA program and workshops are world-renowned.
Purdue – If you’ve always wanted to be an astronaut (I’m talking to you, Lance Bass), Purdue is the place to be. Along with MIT, Purdue has boasted more alumni in NASA space programs than any other non-military university. The school also receives funding from NASA and the National Science Foundation for research in aeronautics.

Three credits to: Purdue–actually, it is rocket science (ayoo!).

4. Ass-kicking Alumni

Indiana – Jared the Subway Guy, Meg Cabot (author of The Princess Diaries), Will Shortz (NYT crossword puzzle writer).
Purdue –Neil Armstrong, Jim Gaffigan, Harold Gray (wrote “Little Orphan Annie”).

Three credits to: Purdue. How can it be that the first man on the moon and the infamous Hot Pockets dude are both Boilermakers?

5. Acceptance Rate Agony (for the class of 2012)

Indiana – 70.7%
Purdue – 71.5%

Three credits to:   Indiana!

And the diploma goes to: Indiana is the definitive winner here. Forgive us for the cliche, but Hoosier daddy?

It’s not like we don’t know what is healthy and what isn’t – we do. And we all vow that the next year will be different – that we’ll stop getting seconds at the caf and drinking 6 nights a week – but then classes start, beer pong ensues and it all goes out the window right to our asses.

To most of us calories are just confusing; who the hell knows how many calories we actually consume on a daily basis. How much work we need to do in order to burn off dollar pitcher night.  How many calories we burn walking to the library? But those things definitely need to be figure out if we want to steer clear of the not-so-attractive muffin top.

So, I thought I’d break it all down in a way everyone could understand: comparing the things we love to eat to our daily activities.

There’s always going to be that day when you have two tests to study for and an essay to write, which means zero time to cook yourself a healthy meal. But perhaps those days will be a little further in between knowing that you’ll have to wash dishes for five hours the next day to burn it off:

Two Slices of Domino’s Cheese Pizza (540 calories)= 3 hours of vacuuming (which is probably 1,214 laps around that 10X12 box of yours)

One Order of “General Tso’s Chicken” From Your Favorite Chinese Place (844 calories)= 2 hours of running on the treadmill at the gym

One Grande Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (330 calories)= 3 hours of taking notes in class

One Plain Bagel With Cream Cheese (436 calories)= 1 ½ hours of dancing at a party

One Bowl of Ramen Noodles (296 calories)= Walking around campus for an hour

One Subway 6” Philly Cheese Steak (520 calories)= 4 hours of doing laundry

Happy Hour Anyone? Think twice before ordering another round:

One Corona (148 calories)= standing in line at the bookstore for 2 hours

One Vodka Shot (100 calories)= 1 hour of sexual activity (Okay perhaps the vodka shot isn’t such a bad thing…)

One Long Island Iced Tea (275 calories)= 3 hours of reading/highlighting in a text book

There are only a few weeks left of the Spring 2009 semester, so how are you going to spend your summer? If you’re like many poor students across the country, you’re going to waste at least the first month of summer vacay working (and sweating) your ass off in the grueling heat in order to pay off the debt you racked up this term.

This past weekend was the first summery weekend in New York (and the Tri-State area), and as I walked through Manhattan, giving my pasty arms their first taste of real sunshine in months, I was infinitely jealous of all of the people in shorts and flip flops sitting outside the restaurants and cafes, casually throwing back margaritas and nibbling on tapas. I immediately regretted all of the cabs I took this winter when it was too cold to walk a few blocks to the subway, splurging on expensive bar nights (and overpriced coat checks), and every other frivolous nickel I threw away, because this weekend, I could not afford a leisurely afternoon of day-drinking. I realized that if I could not afford this luxury, how would I afford a fantastic vacation this summer?

Well, it’s not too late to cut costs where it matters and save up the money to enjoy the weather this summer and make the most of your three months away from school. By cutting down on what you think are daily necessities, you’ll be surprised by how much you can save in a short period of time.

1. Caffeinated Drinks

Now that you’re not pulling late-night study sessions, you can start to wean yourself off of lattes (it’s too hot for them now, anyway). Even if you can’t go a whole day without caffeine, start brewing your own joe in the morning, you know, since you won’t be rushing out the door to hit the 8 a.m. lecture.

If you grab a capp every weekday morning, you are probably spending, on average, $4 a pop. That’s $20 a week. So if you nix the Starbucks now, you’ll save $100 by Memorial Day. If you can forgo the habit for the whole summer, you’ll save about $450 by Labor Day. And that’s even a low estimate.

2. Bar Nights

The bar scene is especially appealing in the winter, when you want to wear a halter top and work up a sweat on the dance floor in frigid temperatures. But once summer hits, there’s bound to be a pool party, barbecue, bonfire, or keg party every weekend. Stay at home and make your own margaritas or sangria’s by the pool, and you’re probably only going to spend about $10-$20, especially if you make a large batch and split the costs with your friends. Even if you go to a party with a door charge, you’re probably forking over $5 for all-you-can drink.

If you can forego a $10 club cover charge for twelve weeks of summer, you’ll pocket $120.

If you usually drink three full-priced cocktails a night at $8 a pop (average mixed drink price) and tip at least 20%, you’ll save almost $400 by the end of August.

Factor in the other expenditures, such as cab fare or coat check (if applicable), and you’ll find you can cut $700-800 easy out of your summer party budget.

3. Food

No more rushing through the campus deli for a plain, overpriced turkey wrap. No more drunken deliveries after an already-expensive night at the bar. It’s summer- take advantage of picnics and barbecues!

Made-to-order sandwiches and combo meals can range from $5-$10, so your lunches could be costing you $25-$50 a week, or $100-200 a month, or $300-$400 in a three-month period.

Delivery options can cost up to double, especially when you factor in gratuities. Spend just a week’s worth of your takeout allowance on frozen chicken breast and hamburger patties, and you can cook out for “free” for the whole month of July, with enough cash leftover to buy a cute bathing suit for the fireworks on the 4th.

4. Transportation

The New York City subway costs over $80 a month. When I had a car, I was putting at least $30-40 into the tank a week. Now that the sun’s out, you can walk, Rollerblade, skateboard, or ride a bike. Or you can just stay home and invite your neighbors to a game of volleyball in the quad of your apartment complex. Even if you can just cut a fraction of your transportation costs, you’ll save more than enough for the gas and parking when you take a road trip to the ocean.

5.  Soft Drinks

Like coffee, many college students down Coke, Pepsi, or Mountain Dew to keep going all day.  Or, we grab Sprite, Iced Tea, Gatorade, or another flavorful beverage to quench our thirst.  The heat this summer is going to make you even more dehydrated and thirsty all summer, so be good to your body and save on vending machines by filling up a Nalgene bottle every morning from your own kitchen sink.  Drinking two store-bought drinks a day can rack up $28 in quarters a week (based on $2 bottles), which is $112 a month, or $448 from May to August.  Not only will your body thank you for replenishing the liquid you lose in sweat, you’ll cut calories– and you’ll have enough for a round-trip flight to a variety of locations when you realize summer’s almost over and you have yet to take a holiday.

These are five little things that we tend to over-indulge on during the winter months when we’re busy with school, freezing our butts off, and simply overspending to battle the depression and cabin-fever that sets in when the dismal winter season starts to take its toll.  If you’ve been cooped up in the dorms and retreating to your parents’ houses for the summer, you’ll save an exponentially greater sum on housing and utilities, grocery shopping, and even laundry.

What expenses are you most looking forward to cutting this summer? And, more importantly, what summer splurges are you going to spoil yourself with once classes are over and you have almost four months of freedom?

But what would you say if you actually did get to meet the guy in question? Would you collapse in disbelief?  Turn on the charm? Flirt his pants off?  Make a total fool of yourself?

Well, in the case of this week’s lusty lad–Andy Samberg–I actually did get to meet him. On my birthday, no less! It was freshman year and I had gone out to dinner with some friends downtown. We were about to board the subway back to campus when one of my girls started chatting up two guys standing next to us.

Being the super-suave freshman I was, I thought they were Fordham students I hadn’t met yet.  So I walked right up to the cuties and said, “Hey! Wanna come back to my room? It’s my birthday!” As soon as the words left my lips, I realized the guys were none other than Andy Samberg and Akiva Shaffer (2/3 of the comedy trio The Lonely Island, along Jorma Taccone), and they were both looking at me like I had asked them if they wanted to eat liver and onions. Also, they probably thought I was a huge slut.

“Uh, happy birthday, but we’re on our way home from work,” mumbled Andy. He smiled to show his kind (and oh so sexy) benevolence on mere mortals like myself.

“Oh, uhhh, I thought you might have been someone who went to my school. I really love your work on SNL,” I stammered. Luckily, a subway arrived at that moment and I dashed away, blushing madly from embarrassment and attraction.

So, for this week’s column, I would like to formally apologize to Andy, and explain to him what I would have said had I not been a clueless freshman:

Andy, you had me at “Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia.” I already bought your new CD, “Incredibad,” and I know all the words to “I’m on a Boat.” You have single-handedly saved SNL from the depths of un-funny with your hilarious and often-times erotic digital shorts – and what could be more effable than that? And how could I possibly resist you when you’re constantly jizzing in your pants, and offering me your dick in a box for Christmas?

It sounds like you’re in need of a serious eff, and there’s nothing I like more than a randy comedian.  How about we hit up Magnolia’s, mack on some cupcakes, and head back to your pad to eff?

Now that’s ka-blamo!

There are so many difficult choices in life (do we love or hate high heels??), so we thought we’d sort through ‘em right here. Every week we will discuss another issue we are torn up about. Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!]

I LOVE FOOD and enjoy it as often as I can: for meals, between meals, on the couch, on the way to class, on the way to the gym… And I am an equal opportunity eater.  I love Chinese, Italian, Japanese, Mexican, Korean, Brazilian, Greek, and of course, American.

There’s nothing better than walking into a restaurant or – yippee! – a bakery and taking in that hot-off-the-stove smell; the yummy aromas of fresh-baked goods fluttering into my nose and making my stomach growl with hunger. And then that moment when that delectable dish is sitting in front of me and I finally get the chance to dig in…

OMG I’m drooling.

There is one “type” of food that I’m not completely head-over-heels for, though, and that is the leftover.

Love:

That giant bowl of fettucine you had with your parents (and on their tab!) was too. freaking. good to pass up. Too bad your stomach wasn’t big enough to handle it all in one sitting. The beauty of leftovers is that you can box that bad boy up and enjoy it tomorrow between classes. Not only is it the best lunch ever, but it also saves you the time of preparing something new and the money you’d waste on a not-so-good Subway value meal.

Loathe:

Now, I’m all about recycling. Paper, plastic, and food. I love Bento boxes, and I think a great way to save the enviroment (and your wallet) is to pack up last night’s dinner into a little to-go box and heat it up the next day for a quick lunch. But I do think that certain foods should be eaten within a closed, contained space in which no one else can smell them, or be kept at home entirely. Have you ever smelled your roommate’s nauseating fish tacos wafting towards you from the public microwave? What about leftover curry dishes from last night’s Indian delivery that linger in your room for days? Gross.

And leftovers never taste as good the next day. Yes, they are probably better than anything you could whip up on the fly, but that hella good panini from last night loses its luster (and crispiness) after sitting in the mini fridge all night. And, of course, there is always that one little box of Chinese that gets shoved to the back of the fridge only to be found months later….covered in fuzz….when you go searching for that mysterious smell coming out of the kitchen.

So, tell me. What are your thoughts on The Leftover?

However, if you play your cards right, you can find great success after college. Sure, some of us will spend years after college struggling to pay off student loans and going on interview after interview, sometimes for entry-level jobs we are overqualified for but still can’t seem to nab. But some of us are on the brink of making headlines, like these uber-successful post-grad powerhouses have done in recent years.

1. Lin-Manuel Miranda

Lin-Manuel Miranda went to Wesleyan University in Connecticut, a school where tuition runs at over $38 grand a year, plus $10-12,000 for room and board expenses. While attending Wesleyan, Miranda, a native of Inwood, New York City, turned his life experience into a theatrical production that has exploded since his graduation from the University in 2002. Miranda is the composer and lyricist behind the smash hit musical In the Heights, which was produced at Wesleyan, picked up for off-Broadway, and transferred to the Great White Way in 2008. Miranda, an actor-slash-rapper who originated the lead role, Usnavi, in his own show, picked up a Tony award last spring and is currently slated to reprise the role when it hits the silver screen.

2. Mark Zuckerberg

Love Facebook today, hate it tomorrow. Either way, Mark Zuckerberg is rolling in dough. Zuckerberg actually dropped out of Harvard to focus on the social networking site that changed the face of the internet forever (saving over $30,000 a year in tuition). This May, Zuckerberg will celebrate a milestone birthday- the quarter-century mark, and with an estimated networth of about $1.5 billion, it’s bound to be one kick-ass party. Check your mini-feed for event details.

3. Fred De Luca

Fred De Luca didn’t become an entrepreneur in college; he opened his own sandwich shop at 17 to raise money to pay for college. When De Luca graduated from the University of Bridgeport with his Bachelor’s degree, his Subway sandwich shops were already taking over Connecticut, and today the chaine consists of over 30,000 stores worldwide. Today, the University of Bridgeport isn’t too daunting, with the relatively low tuition rate of about $23,000 per year- a mere fraction of the $1.5 billion De Luca has netted through his enterprise.

4. Alice Sebold

Alice Sebold didn’t find financial success as quickly as Lin-Manuel Miranda, Mark Zuckerberg, or Fred De Luca, but after being violently raped at Syracuse University as a freshman, she made several amazing accomplishments that have led her down the path of a bestselling author. Not only did Sebold finish her degree from $45,000-a-year Syracuse, but she faced down her attacker in court and later developed the real-life story into her acclaimed memoir, Lucky. Sebold’s next book, and most well-known work, is The Lovely Bones, a film version of which will be released later this year.

5. Stephanie Joanne Angelina Germanotta

This former student at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts now goes by the stage name Lady Gaga. Before she could legally drink, Gaga was working as a songwriter at Interscope Records, penning hits for the Pussycat Dolls. Gaga studied music at Tisch, but showed off her smarts in several classes (hey she was paying like $40 g’s in tuition, might as well take advantage), writing research papers on topics such as art, religion, and socio-political order. Now a mega popstar, Steph is also quite the philanthropist, who has made donations to help raise money for schools in Los Angeles affected by educational budget cuts.

These are just a few major names who hit big before, during, or after college by combining their education and talent to explode into household names. Think you have what it takes to start up your own business? Check out the top most profitable businesses for college entrepreneurs. Relying on your talents to pay the rent? Use your time in college to work on your skills– as Norah Jones did. “In college I had a weekend gig at a restaurant, a solo thing that was the best practice I could have ever had. That’s where I learned to coordinate my singing and my piano playing,” the Grammy-award winning singer has stated.

President Obama lamented on the huge rates of both high school and college dropouts in his speech last night. You’re already winning the battle – you’re enrolled! – SSo take advantage of your higher education and maybe we’ll see you on the cover of Forbes in a few years.

CoverGirl has a new mascara comin’!

First Kelloggs, now Subway drops Phelps. Looks like I’ll be satisfying my munchies elsewhere!

Valentine’s Day outfit ideas.

25 Things About Barack Obama.

Who knew Heidi Klum could ever have a fashion miss?

Ideas for lookin’ better on this World Nude Day.

Isla Fisher lookin’ hot on the cover of Allure.

We love low rise thongs.

Why is Taylor Swift on CSI? The girl can barely sing, let alone act.

I’m a complete sucker for guys that ask for my number. No matter how creepy or sleazy they are, I hand it over every time. It’s not that I’m actually interested in these guys – I almost always give out my number with the intention of never ever talking to him again. So why do I even bother handing my number out to total strangers?

First of all, I feel bad turning people down, especially if they have the balls to come up and ask for my number. Second of all, I am way too slow to think of a viable excuse on the spot. I get all flustered and red and end up handing it over to save myself the embarrassment.

That is why I have compiled a list of the best excuses to get out of a bad number situation. Don’t worry, you can thank me later….like when you no longer get woken up by “Hey sexy” text messages from that suit salesman you met on the subway.

1. The “no excuse” excuse. As in, complete honesty. I would go on but I feel like the girls gutsy enough to pull this off don’t really need to read an article about excuses.

2. The “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that…” excuse. This one functions as the default excuse for many of us. Just be sure that he can’t do a background check and find out you’re lying. There’s nothing more embarrassing than looking like the “pathetic” girl that lies about being in a relationship.

3. The “I broke/lost/ate my phone” excuse. You should probably use this excuse as an absolute last resort. I’m talking a word vomit situation – never aim to use this one on purpose. Once a guy told me that he dropped his phone off a building and that’s why he didn’t call me. I promise you, even the dumbest human beings can spot that bulls*it from a mile away.

4. The switcheroo aka the “Let me get yours instead…”. This one is pretty ballsy, as you take the risk of looking like a complete bitch when you don’t call. If this guy is a complete rando and there is no way in hell you’ll ever see him again (i.e. he lives in a different state/country) this may be a good option. And even if he lives right up the street, well, frankly, I’d rather come off as a bitch than have to ignore the guy’s calls for the next three months.

5. The “Aww, you’re gonna have to work harder than that…” Sadly enough, this is my signature excuse of choice. When a creeper asks for my number, I act nauseatingly mysterious and tell him that I don’t give my number to just anybody (completely untrue). Unfortunately, this one does have a tendency to backfire, as a true creeper will do anything short of stalking to get a girl’s number. Proceed with caution.

6. The “I just don’t give it out” excuse. Graciously used by Yvonne in the “Can I get your number?” MadTV skit (if you haven’t seen it do so immediately!), this excuse is the closest to honesty as you can get. It’s plain and simple – “I just don’t like giving out my number…to complete creepers like you.”

“…Yeah and he went over to her house and laid some serious pipe.”

I gasped. I’m no prude. I don’t usually sigh and clutch my chest at the thought of people dropping sex-bombs, but there are some euphemisms for sex that seriously turn me off. Here’s the top 5.

5: Doing The Nasty

Religion, our parents, and old-school sex ed videos did a great job drilling some hard-core shame into our psyches regarding sex. The last thing I need to think about before I do the deed is how what I’m doing is often described as nasty. Nasty is word reserved for boogers, vomit, blood or a combination of the three.

4: Anything Related To Deli Meats

I get it; I get it. A penis looks a lot like a sausage. That’s not something that warrants hundreds of euphemisms though is it? When I hear unfortunate phrases like “porking,” “hide the salami,” or “parking the beef bus in tuna town,” I want to make myself a sandwich, not have sex with you.

3: Diddled

If my grandmother wasn’t worried about being smited for talking about sex, she’d probably describe the act using this odd little word.

2: Bumping Uglies

Now this insults the both of us. I will admit, male and female sex organs aren’t exactly gorgeous but they get the job done. Describing them as “uglies” debases not only the the human body, but sex itself. Bumping sounds accidental, casual and with little skill. Those words don’t exactly scream “romance” to me.

And my top pick, just in time for the Olympic Games:

Earning a 10.0 from the Judge from Ejacuador

Wow. I wish I could say I made that up, but there are 15 more Olympic themed euphemisms where that came from. You’re welcome.

Any phrases turn you off? And how will it take for a $5 Foot-long reference to work its way into the cultural vernacular?

[Photo: Abc.net.au]