Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I moved in with my childhood best friend five months ago. He’s great and I love him as a friend. But he’s had feelings for me in the past and we’ve talked about it. I told him I’m not interested. He said he understands. And we’re still really close friends.

When we moved in together I was having some money problems and he offered to cover the extra costs so I could afford to move in. So he’s been paying $300 more than me every month, and I really appreciate it. The deal was that if I cook and clean, he’s happy to pay for it.

Our other friends all think it’s really weird and they are convinced I’m sleeping with him, but I’m not. Anyway in the past two months I got a promotion and now I can afford the rent but he offered to keep paying the larger amount as a favor to me. I agreed because I thought it was really nice. And now he’s started buying me little gifts and even doing the cooking.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a pretty great life. But I know he’s doing it because he has feelings for me. But at the same time, is it so wrong to keep accepting his favors, since I keep telling him I’m never going to date him and he still wants to help me out?

Sort of Conflicted

Dear SOC,

SMASH. Yes, you shoop, of COURSE it’s wrong!!! Your words say no, but your actions say yes, yes, yes!!!

You may not mean to (we’ll get to that later), but you are totally leading him on. This sweet but incredibly stupid friend of yours has deluded himself into thinking that you’ll come around because he’s courting you with all this crap. Money don’t buy love, honey. Unless you’re a ho. So…

Look. You can afford the rent now, so stop accepting his cash. Pay equal rent. That is your first and most obvious step. After that, when he brings you gifts, tell him, “Thank you so much, but you’ve been getting me things so much lately! I just can’t accept another thing.” Yes, it’s rude. But it is NECESSARY to STOP THE MADNESS.

Doesn’t it bother you that he is trying (fairly successfully, by the way!) to buy your love?!?!?!?! ARE YOU A FRIENDSTITUTE?!?!?!?! It’s so messed up of you to take advantage of someone like this. It’s even more messed up that you’re taking advantage of your childhood best friend. Do you not care about him at all?! Or do you just think you deserve more than him? Is that it?! Do you think you’re more entitled to his money than he is?!!?

Oh, and back to that, “you may not mean to.” Yeah, I think you mean to. I think you’re more than happy to take advantage of this dude. And gross of him to think you’d go for it. But also gross of you TO go for it. Gross. Gross. So 1892. Geez. Woman up.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

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Below are just a few of the things on top of my holiday wish list. Yeah, we’re in a major recession but what’s the point of making a wish list if you are going to be practical about it? A girl can dream can’t she?

Flowerbomb by Viktor & Rolf – $150 Saks Fifth Ave

This obviously floral perfume is extremely sexy and opulent. It’s wearable but so rich that, well, it even smells expensive.

Clarisonic Skincare Brush – $195 Sephora.com

If you are serious about skincare this facial brush is definitely worth the investment. It’s truly luxury meets practicality. Nothing cleans your face more gently and effectively. Perfect for all skin types, and can even combat stubborn cystic acne.

Fredderic Fekkai Advanced Overnight Hair Repair – $195 Saks Fifth Ave

This product is hair magic in a bottle. It has smart technology that actually seeks out and targets weak and damaged sections of the hair shaft and rebuilds them. You might want to make some extra batches of cookies for Santa if you’re hoping for this in your stocking.

Guerlain – Illuminating Finishing Powder – $160 Neiman Marcus

Now is there any real measurable difference between this finishing powder and the others in Guerlain’s meteorite collection that are less than half the price? Not really, other than the cute butterflies and silver reusable compact. But can you really put a price on glamour?

Bobbi Brown Exclusive Trunk – $2,000 (yes that’s two-thousand) Neiman Marcus

Okay so you will have to have a rich and generous daddy (or sugar daddy) to find this gift under your tree. But if you can convince him, you would have more makeup than you could ever want or need for some time to come. R

But Psych 350 and English 125 aren’t the only things we’ve learned this week (mostly because we still haven’t gotten through a quarter of the material yet):

We learned that you can be friends after sex, that you can be warm and chic, and that French men are the ones to go for.

We learned that jumping rope is the best calorie burner, that there is a big difference between dating undergrads and grad students, and that guys think hot girl models are intimidating, too.

We learned that the Big 3 automakers are totally screwed, that the best way to pay for school is by getting a sugar daddy, and that a guy’s condom preference says a lot about his character.

We also learned that 4th graders know more about dating than college boys, that we can put abortions on our wish lists this year and that lots of guys fear commitment.

We even learned how to make soup!

Whew. No wonder there is no room left in our brains for all that boring Psych shiz.

Some people are fortunate enough to have everything covered, but those college students who are on their own are forced to seek employment on or around campus. Usually for minimum wage.

I watched many friends as they sat in class all morning, in the library all afternoon and at their crappy work-study jobs all night, every night. They missed out on bonding time, parties and even student groups on campus, and still barely had enough money to get by. I know that college is all about learning, but it sucks to miss out on the rest of college life. There is a lot to be learned outside the classroom (like your drinking limit!).

But what if there were a better option? What if someone could make enough money to get by without sitting at the check-out desk of the library 6 nights a week? What if you could make enough money to learn and enjoy college without spending game-days serving burgers to drunk students?

It’s as easy as getting a sugar-daddy.

Melissa Beech, tired of working retail and waiting tables, did just that. “During my job hunt, I met a potential employer. He was in his early thirties, single and successful. He didn’t hire me, but he did suggest a position that seemed perfectly suited to my attributes and skills: he proposed that he become my benefactor.”

Some people consider Melissa’s “job” to be prostituion, but she doesn’t agree; I call it a ‘mutually beneficial arrangement’ that pays for my killer wardrobe.”

What do you think? Is this the answer we have all been looking for, or is this simply a real-life Pretty Woman?

Mike Rowe-46. Mike was exactly my age when I was born, meaning, of course, that he is twice as old as I am. But what is age when you have a body like that? And a voice? And a sense of humor? And he’s not afraid to get dirty, which has awesomely naughty implications. I’ve watched his show, Dirty Jobs, and seen him in the most disgusting of circumstances, but being covered by any number of horrible substances doesn’t dampen my desire for the man one tiny bit.

Viggo Mortenson-50. This man is fifty! Anyone who has seen Viggo’s naked fight scene in Eastern Promises would be flabbergasted to imagine that his body could belong to a fifty year old. I admire his acting ability, yes, but he’s on the list of prospective sugar daddies out of pure and unadulterated lust.

Penn Jillette-53. I have a really inexplicable crush on this guy. It’s probably best that we not go into it.

John Edwards-54 G*ddamn if he isn’t a good looking man. He’s all dimples and southern charm, working against poverty. I don’t know what is sexier than trying to abolish poverty. Plus, the guy has a great sense of humor, as his appearances on The Daily Show can attest. I would share a jet ski with you any day, Mr. Edwards. Especially if it means that you will be a bathing suit.

David Bowie-61. This man will be sexy in his 80’s. It’s really less about the looks and more about the attitude, the legacy. The only drawback is that even in his 60’s, he is probably way more sexually adventurous than I am. I don’t know if I could keep up with him, but it would sure be fun to try.

What guy wouldn’t want a woman to buy him cars, bling, and houses? Especially if that woman is hot.

Well, Nick Cannon’s dream just came true. And he’s taking full advantage of it. Since he married the super-sexy 38-year-old Mariah Carey in April, he’s been spending her dough like it’s going out of style. 27-year-old Cannon has been stocking up on designer duds and was even seen test-driving a $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte. And according to insiders, it’s all on Mariah’s dime (or millions of dimes).

According to a “friend” of Mariah’s, Cannon’s wedding band isn’t even classy; “It’s garish and tacky — and yet another example of Nick’s extravagance at Mariah’s expense.” Come on, Nick, if you’re gonna be spending her money, at least buy some pretty things!

I’m now taking bets on how long this marriage will last. Oh, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter, considering Mariah didn’t even have Nick sign a pre-nup. Let’s just hope this “One Sweet Day” lasts a lifetime. Either way, I declare Nick Cannon the big winner in this relationship.

This could be because I’ve mostly found myself surrounded by artists and musicians and ski bums, none of whom were ever financially focused. That’s fine. I’m an independent chick. I can pay my own way. But every once in a while I think how nice it would be if I was swept off my feet by some rich, handsome movie star would could not only buy me dinner at a fancy restaurant, but treat everyone else in the place and laugh off the bill.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

She can. But if she ever gets tired of dreaming, she can actually do something about it.

Sugardaddyforme.com is a new dating site that caters to young, beautiful women who dream of being pampered, and the “older gentlemen” who want to provide the pampering.

“Ladies!” screams the site, “Are you an attractive, young woman? Struggling in the early part of your career? An aspiring actress? Would you like to have a man be a provider for you? Do you just love to be taken care of and treated like a princess? You will make the perfect Sugar Babe!”

“Gentlemen!” it goes on to yell, “have you reached a place in your life where you have attained substantial success? Are you a very busy executive or a businessman with very little time? Are you a caring individual who loves and wants to share the finer things in life? Whether you want to have an ExtraMarital Affair or just love to pamper a special someone, you are at the right place!”

What a fantastic website! Not only does it put an unhealthy amount of importance on material wealth, but it also advocates “ExtraMarital” (which is apparently one word now) affairs! Wow. Any dating site that starts out with those values is bound to provide a rewarding, healthy relationship!

Their philosophy! (exclamation point all theirs) goes on to explain that the website was born from a belief that “goes back to the cave ages – Men want the younger and more attractive women. And, women, want the man with the bigger and more sheltered cave.” (I’m no English teacher, but can anyone else spot the grammatical oddities in those sentences?) I’d love to see the research the developers of Sugardaddyforme.com did on the mating habits of males and females in the “cave ages”. I’m sure it was vast and extensive, just like their opinions on the modern psyche.

There’s an allure to having some dude provide for you (I mean, I’d sure like to stop eating sandwiches every night that include questionable lunchmeat), but the actuality of that situation can never be as good as it seems. When you allow someone to control your monetary concerns, you’re really allowing them to control your life. Sure he’ll pay for your college tuition, but what do you have to do for him in return? And what happens if you refuse? Are nice clothes and a hot new car really worth handing over your independence?

America is a country where women are allowed total freedom to be and do whatever they want. Squandering that freedom for a pair of Gucci shoes is not just idiotic, it’s self-destructive. If old guys float your boat, go find an old guy and date him because he’s old and you like that, not because he’s old and rich.

I’ll take a poor artist who loves me and wants to date only me over Donald Trump (hairpiece! Ahh!) any day. Besides, I already have an old dude who sort of controls my finances. He’s called my dad. And one of him is enough.