Ah, summer is just around the corner. Which means longer days, fewer clothes, more happy hours and the imminent possibility of a summer fling with someone sexy. While the appeal of a summer fling lies in the fact that it is nonchalant, commitment free and totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things, there are still some ground rules that apply. Because being casual doesn’t mean completely disregarding the fact that a relationship of sorts is being formed.

1. Be honest

Don’t string along someone and make it seem like you’re interested in something more serious than you actually are. Not everyone has that “fling” mentality, and it would behoove you to make your intentions known upfront and clearly. If you’re on the same page, fabulous. If not, then you can go your separate ways with little to no harm done. Conversely, if you find yourself falling hard for your fling, you need to either tell them or break it off. Nothing positive will come from not acknowledging your feelings.

2. Manage expectations.

This tip is crucial for people who are generally serial monogamists and don’t really do no-strings-attached things. As a fling, you are not going to be the number one priority in your partner’s life. They will probably prioritize their friends, or their job, or their masturbation time over you from time to time, and as long as they’re not total jerks about it, you can’t really call them out on it.

3. Have an expiration date.

The whole point of a fling is that it is short-lived (as opposed to nebulous friends-with-benefits situations). If you are dedicating to the fling concept, you both need to decide when it’s time to end it, especially if it wouldn’t happen naturally (ie, one or both of you leaving town).

 4. Don’t abandon your standards.

Don’t settle for just any random, available penis or vagina. This is someone you could be spending time with for 3-4 months, so it’s perfectly fine to want to hang out with someone who you can occasionally have a moderately interesting conversation with.

5. Get adventurous. 

Take advantage of this opportunity to push your boundaries, try out things you’ve never had the opportunity to do, and just generally have a blast getting to know someone new. Try new positions, hook up in different locales, really embrace the whole experience.

[Lead image via Michal Kowalski/Shutterstock]

[This summer a dream internship with Lucky magazine moved me from Austin, Texas, where I’ve spent all 21 years of my life, to New York City for the summer. Come along for the ride and follow me through this column as I take on all that the city has in store for me. I’ll share tips I’ve picked up along the way about everything from how to pack (stop, drop and roll people!) to dating to fitting in (or standing out) and so much more.]

There’s nothing quite as sweet as a summer love. Summer flings happen at the best time, on the cusp of classes ending when summer fearlessness sets in. Throw the city into that equation and the possibilities really are endless. So spend your free time this summer on dates that you’ll remember even if the guy was less than memorable.

Tip #29 – Reach new heights.

Can’t help but roll your eyes when you hear about how a girl got proposed to on the top of the Eiffel Tower? Believe me, I’m right there with you, and yet somehow a date at Top of the Rock just feels so right. It doesn’t have to be cheesy! Spend an unreasonable amount of time in the control room, where the neon lights are controlled by your body movement and challenge your date to a dance-off. I suggest you go at night when the city really comes alive, and see if you can find your apartment roofs hiding in between the thousands of twinkling lights from the top of Rockefeller Center. It doesn’t have to be cliché and romantic as long as you’re both having fun. After you visit the top, grab a drink at the bar in the plaza where the famous skating rink resides in the wintertime.

Tip #30 – Movies in the park at Bryant Park.

The Bryant Park summer film festival plays a new classic every Monday at sunset. Grab a soda pop and a bag of your favorite candy and sink into the lawn to relax after the workday. Best of all, the film fest is totally free. Leave the foldable chairs at home since they aren’t permitted and grab an old towel to sit on instead. As the sun goes down, snuggle up together because PDA doesn’t feel so public after dark.

Tip #31 – Spend your time and money on experiences, not dates.

Money is best spent on an experience as opposed to just another dinner date and since money is time in the city, be sure to spend it wisely. You can have a drink with your guy anywhere, so opt instead for tickets to a show you’ve been dying to see. Dinner dates come and go but an impromptu date to the Central Park Zoo is forever. I love an amazing meal as much as the next girl but nothing beats watching my date’s jaw drop when I’m making continuous strikes at the bowling alley at Chelsea Piers. Summer leaves more time for spending time with one another so make it worth it.

Tip #32 – When all else fails, date the city.

Follow the words of the beloved Carrie Bradshaw when your summer is fling-less and date the city instead. It may sound trite, but this city is literally teeming with things to do. Museums are the perfect alone-dates. With options like The Met and MoMA, you could spend hours getting lost in other people’s loves, like Degas’ love for painterly ballerinas or Alexander McQueen’s love for avant-garde fashion. There’s something so wonderful about leisurely wandering around the city, alone and calm. And best of all, you don’t have to put on those first-date shoes that leave your feet in blisters by the end of the night.

Get the first 28 tips for living it up in the city right here!

So, 1 Sparks, 3 Stellas, 2 Jello shots, and 3 Jager shots later, Brent and I were having the most mind-blowing sex of my whole life. In the afternoon. His sheets smelled good and he had pictures of his family on his wall and his body (every last bit of it) was PERFECT. It was wild and hot and ridiculous and straight out of my fantasies.

Then I took a nap.

I woke up and Brent was having some friends over for a BBQ. He came into the room and closed the door behind him and smiled at me. (And this boy has dimples, so when he smiles, it’s like cute little daggers made of bunnies and rainbows are shooting through my heart.) He, dressed, came and laid down to me, naked, on the bed.

“Can you stay the night with me?” he asked.

Well, of course I f*cking could. I didn’t have a car to take me anywhere else, did I?

“If you want me to” I responded, with a smile; unlikely as cute as his.

“Good.” And he started kissing me. Sweetly — in the way that makes your heart stop. Not at all like the kind of kiss you’d imagine a boy would give a girl he just had circus-sex with.

He asked me to come out and meet his friends. I tied my hair up messily and didn’t even bother with makeup. Something about that post-greatest-sex-in-my-life glow makes makeup seem really unnecessary.

I sat on his lap and he held me while talking to all of his friends about how awesome I am and how randomly our paths had crossed that day. When the party began to die down, he took me by the hand over to his hammock. Tied to grapefruit trees and under the stars, we made out like we were being filmed as Zac and Vanessa for HSM4. That’s how cheesy it all felt.

We started talking about all of the “important” stuff. Ya know, god, sex, exes, existentialism, blah blah blah.

Brent turned to me, “How did I not know you were so awesome when I met you the first time? We’re so much alike. I wish you lived here. If you did, I would date you…like…every day. Don’t go home.”

I was enamored at the thought of having my week long trip turn into a hot romance. What can I say? I’m a girl.

Back in his room, we had even hotter sex than before. Then we cuddled and he fell asleep first, holding my hand. All through the night, he’d wake up to kiss me, and then fall asleep again. We woke up together eventually and had 3 more sex sessions.

“Do you want to build a bonfire on the beach tomorrow?” he asked me.

“Why not?” I responded.

“I don’t know…I just…I want to see you every day before you leave. Can we do that?” he said, while seeming more vulnerable than healthy.

“Okay,” and I smiled. Because…why wouldn’t I? He was gorgeous and nice and…he liked me.

When my friends came to pick me up on their way to the beach, he got dressed to come out and meet them. Naturally, they loved him. We spent the day at the beach talking about him and discussing how cute he was for wanting to build a bonfire. I was smitten.

And then I didn’t hear from him all day.

Or night.

Or all morning the next day.

Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday.

He never called.

I finally texted him, utterly disappointed in myself for having expected him to NOT treat me like dirt.

“Well, Bye.”

I never got a ‘Bye’ back.

Nothing.

So, now I’m angry.

What the f*ck? Why couldn’t he just have sex with me? Why all of the lovey-dovey talk? Why couldn’t he just straight up ignore me? Why all of the keeping-me-hanging banter?

I know it sounds crazy, but I would have been OK had he not planted the seed that there could be something more. But he did. And then he let me down.

I’m so frustrated. Is it as simple as I just got played?

But is it really all “Summer Lovin’”? Really as simple and sweet as we’ve been led to believe? The fact that I’m even asking these questions probably means summer flings are more complicated than 3 months of running hand-in-hand down the beach, but keeping a few things in mind can help make your next summer adventure as drama free as possible.

This edition of Summer Do’s and Don’ts brings you: Summer Flings.

Do use the summer to chat up different kinds of people. Your summer job or internship may lead down interesting paths and into interesting groups. Keep an open mind and use these months to reinvent yourself—in a good way, of course. Who knows? You might just meet a future hottie marching in a protest for Greenpeace or during your lunch break in the staff room.

Don’t fast forward the relationship just because the summer is short. Subtracting the amount of time you’d normally sleep with or get serious with someone because you’re moving or leaving in a few months is not a good idea. You could overlook key aspects of their personality (like a dominant asshole gene), or “forget” to do the STD talk. If this summer fling is meant to last, it will, regardless of how fast you jump in the sack.

Do take advantage of these warm summer nights and long summer days. Go on adventurous dates; hiking, rock climbing, driving without a destination, staying on the beach until the stars come out…use the weather to your advantage, and impress that special someone with your creative energy!

Don’t let the fact that the fall could potentially split the two of you up ruin your enthusiasm. Sure, it could happen, but stopping something good because you’re afraid of getting hurt is lame. Not to get all Oprah on you, but life is about living! Plus, we only get to do it once.

Do make sure to fill your flame in on your fall plans. No one likes to be ambushed, and lying about where you’ll be going or what you’ll be doing (or just “forgetting” to say anything) is a surefire way to mess up something good. Your sweetie won’t hold your fall plans against you, and if they do, well, they’re not really worth being your sweetie in the first place.

Don’t try to turn a fling into a romance if it doesn’t want to be one. There are such things as short, healthy relationships. You both know it isn’t meant to last forever, but you have a good time together, learn things from each other, and have fun in the process. Dragging out these types of relationships is painful for everyone. Just be truthful from the beginning, and go forward with a clear and agreed upon plan. When it comes time to end things, you might feel strangely emotional and attached, but give yourself some time to think things over before calling your fling up and asking for a commitment. You may just be suffering from the post-fling blues.

Most importantly, have fun and take care of yourself! All year you’ve written papers on someone else’s time clock, studied for someone else’s tests, and been told what to think by someone else’s mouth. Summer is about stretching and recuperating. Be good to you, and amazing things will follow.

…that last sentence was almost zen enough to be in a fortune cookie, huh?