Yet, as much as I love the strapless bra, I hate it.  The reality is that bras were made with straps for a reason and without them, it’s an epic fail waiting to happen.

While I own my fair share of so-called strapless wonders, I’m torn as to whether I really need them or not…

Love it:
There’s nothing quite as tacky as bra straps slipping out of tops.  I mean, it’s such an easy fix, so it’s annoying when people are walking around all strappy and whatnot.  I don’t care how nice your bra is, I don’t want to see the straps. And, no, those clear ones don’t cut it either.

In this regard, strapless bras work wonders.  They fit under your slinky tops without revealing to the general public that you buy your bras at Kmart (I only have, like, two from there…) AND they provide a step up from going without a bra, in that they stop the floppin’ and maybe provide some (in my case, much needed) push up action.

Also, when I first put a strapless bra on, I get to dance around and pretend I’m a burlesque performer.  Strapless bras have an aura of secret sexiness about them that makes me feel like I’m seduction on a stick.  They’re definitely a confidence booster (and my confidence definitely needs a boost once I look in the mirror and realize that my new, delicate dress really does make my arms look ginormous).

Loathe it:
Even though the straps are not there, people can tell you’re wearing a bra.  There always seems to be an annoying outline of the top of the bra that can be seen through your shirt.  Worst of all, when there are no straps involved, you have to hook that sucker even tighter around your ribcage, leading to unfortunate levels of back fat and horrible red marks/bruises when you take it off. NOT the situation you want to be in when you’re starting the sexy time (he might take it as a cue that you like pain and bring out the whips and chains…not a fun Saturday night).

Also, no matter how tightly you fasten it, the strapless bra will always need tugging up.  Tugging on your strapless bra all night = white trash fail.

I guess until I can afford something better (like fake boobs) or some wonderful lingerie scientist at Victoria’s Secret (they have those, right?) invents a perfect strapless bra, I’m stuck with the bras I have.  Worse case scenario:  I could just pull a American Apparel move and eschew the bra entirely.  In which case, I urge you all to stay away from my general part the USA to avoid the retina damage that will surely come from me walking around in a tank top/tube top/dress sans bra.

What do you think? Love or hate the strapless bra?

She calls me really early in the morning, or really late at night. To talk about reality TV shows.
Whenever I’m on the phone with her, she hangs up abruptly to get another call…without saying goodbye.
She pees with the door open in the powder room on the main floor of our house.
She backed into my car when it was parked on her driveway…

But no matter how much I want to shake her and scream, “MOM IT’S 8AM ON A SUNDAY AND I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF RAMONA!” the woman has given me so much and I can’t forget that.

My mom is one of the most generous people I know, always giving her time and services to other people. She will do anything for me, including moving me and all my stuff from dorm to sorority house to house to apartment to apartment. She’s always in the mood for a trip to the mall and sometimes even throws her credit card down at the register. She’s an awesome cook, she’s pretty good at Scrabble and she did apologize when she backed into my car…

But the thing I’m most grateful for when it comes to my mom is the confidence and self esteem she has instilled in me.

I was a fat kid growing up. And not just baby fat. Fat fat. I was tall and big and had a perm – needless to say, I stuck out. But I never knew it. In fact, I didn’t realize quite how big I was until I looked at pictures from my childhood long after those years were over. At the time, thanks to my mom, I thought I was just like everyone else. You see, she was a plus sized woman, but I never realized there was anything wrong with that. I don’t remember my mom ever talking about her weight. I don’t remember her ever hiding herself or her body out of shame.

What I do remember is her putting on a bathing suit every day in the summer and enjoying our backyard pool with the many guests she’d invite over. Women who were half her size refused to take off their cover-ups because they had “fat thighs.” But not my mom. She wouldn’t even wear a cover-up. She didn’t care what people thought of her – she was going to enjoy that hot, summer day.

So that is how I grew up.

I never knew there was anything “wrong” with my body, so I never tried to hide or change it. My mother taught me that my body was my body and it was never something to be ashamed of. She never forced me to eat fruit instead of a brownie, or put me on a diet before I was ready. She didn’t want me to grow up thinking she didn’t like me the way that I was. She always just told me I was beautiful.

My mom let me make all my life decisions – from what I was going to eat that day to how I was going to feel about my body – on my own. And then, no matter what they were, she supported me. When I wanted to go on a diet, my mom went with me. When I started working out, she went with me. And when I had a bad day at school and wanted a giant ice cream sundae from the restaurant down the street, she went with me. And ate more than half.

She never focused on weight or size or numbers. She just focused on being happy, however that happened to look for me. So I grew up loving myself – even when there was a lot more to love.

I sometimes make jokes around my mom about how good looking and perfect I am now.

“How do you fit your head through the door?” she’ll ask me, shaking her head.  She can hate all she wants, but she created this self confident monster. And I love me her for it.

My mom is the bomb and deserves the world on this lovely Mother’s Day. My dream is to take her to a spa for a week to relax (it’s 10% off!), get pampered and reward her for everything she does. My reality is a Hallmark card and a giant hug. And this article. I love you, mom!

How has your mom shaped the woman you are today? Honor her in the comments section below!

I live in my Rainbows. Period. No matter if it’s spring or fall, cloudy or sunny, hot or cold. No matter if I’m heading to a class, rocking out at a concert, or lounging by the pool. My Rainbows are constantly my go-to shoe, but sometimes – I admit – they’re just not a very good shoe choice.

So, my dear Rainbows, I’m totally torn…

Love Em:

There’s many reasons why 99% of the time you see me (and the majority of the other girls on campus), I’m in my Rainbows. They’re arguably the most comfortable shoes ever made, thanks to the leather construction and cushioned sole that molds to your feet (you can even see the layers of leathery softness!). And if you want more comfort, you can even buy ‘em double-layered! Can you say “heaven”?

Rainbows come in a ton of varieties. You can choose your color (white, brown, or black), material (leather or cloth), and straps (thin or thick). Not that it matters; whatever you choose, Rainbows always match your outfit and make you look 100% Cali-cute!

Even better, the people behind the flip flops are so sure of them that they even include a lifetime warranty for the odd chance that the straps break or the stitching comes undone. And seeing how often I wear them, that little guarantee makes them pretty perfect.

Loathe em:

Once you break them in, Rainbows are super comfy. Until you break them in, though, these flippies cause some serious pain and oozy blisters. Especially right between your big toe and the little guy next door. So. much. pain.

The price tag for these casual flip-flops is also a problem: $50!? For flip flops?! Flip flops that cause your feet to ooze and bleed? Yes, they are good quality sandals, but it’s not like sandals offer any quality support for your feet! An article in Newsweek cites research that shows flip-flops actually alter the way you walk, resulting in shorter steps and more stress on your joints that can cause even more pain (aside from your blisters).

And although you’ll want to wear them everywhere (after you break them in…and break your wallet buying them), you really shouldn’t wear them when it’s raining, snowing, hailing, or your playing beer pong/flip cup; once they get wet, your feet turn brown. And stay brown until you literally scrub them raw. And definitely not good for super long walks or hikes. Although, I may be the only one who ever tried that one…

So Rainbows, I’m torn. What do you think about these flippy-floppies?

Derek Jeter is absolutely the total package: drop-dead-gorgeous, an all-star athlete, charming, and above all, a true gentleman.  Ladies have been on deck to eff the champion charmer since his rookie days in 1996. Leading the Yankees to four World Series titles in his first five years as a major leaguer, Jeter’s also been named Rookie of the Year, World Series MVP,  and All-Star MVP, among other awards. (Hey Jete, is that a Golden Glove in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)

Jeter’s always been an example of terrific sportsmanship. He always puts the Yankees first, and gives his unwavering support for teammates even as they face hardship such as injury or steroid-use allegations.  “We just want to win,” he says of the Bronx Bombers. “That’s the bottom line.” And unlike many athletes who are all talk and no action, Jeter backs up his claims by making jaw-dropping catches and swift double-plays. Have you seen this diving catch he made into the stands? His body sure must be durable–I wonder what else it’s capable of doing….

But aside from his achievements on the baseball diamond, Jeter’s a star off the field, too. He’s got a smooth sense of humor (evident from his appearances on Saturday Night Live), is a Midwestern boy at heart, and he knows how to party! Frequently spotted at New York nightclubs (work hard, play hard, right?), I not-so-secretly hope to run into him one of these days.

Jeter is known to be a bit of a playboy, having dated such celebrities as Mariah Carey, Jordana Brewster, and Jessica Biel. Despite his scorecard with women, however, I still rank the Yankee Number 2 as my MVE (Most Valuable Eff). So Jete, anytime you want to up your batting average, give me a call and you can score a couple of homers!

If you’re like me, no matter how much time you spend in the gym, there are some body parts you’d rather not flaunt. But with spring break coming up, there’s absolutely no reason for you to hit the beach or pools without feeling fabulous. Never to fear ladies; I’ve dug around for some hot ideas for you to look and feel your best, no matter what body type you have.

If you’re worried about:

Hips & Thighs

This is the one I worry about. My usual remedy for this is board shorts. They look cute and easy, and are a great accessory for a bikini. No one has to know you’re wearing em to cover up a few imperfections.

TIP: Get a fixed waistband board short, not an elastic band. Fixed waistbands are smoother and give you a more streamlined look, so your stomach ends up looking ab-fab. Stay away from gathered or anything elastic; it makes you look bulky, which sorta defeats the purpose, no?

Stomach

Personally, I feel there’s nothing wrong with a one-piece, especially if it’s done well. Here is where rouching is your friend. It distracts the eye, and it disguises that mini beer belly wonderfully. I love this first one because it’s very classically sexy.

TIP: If you want the coverage of a one piece, but the playfulness of a bikini, swimwear designers answered our prayers with the tankini.

Large Chest

Another one of my worries. The best thing for girls who need a bit more support without looking dowdy is the ever-amazing halter top, especially ones with broad straps. Not only do halters provide much-needed support, but the cut of a halter is very slimming. The key to looking good in anything is balance; halters make you look smaller up top so that you look proportional. Plus those suckers hold your chest in place, which is always important.

TIP: Stay away from anything with the words “string” or “bandeau.” It’s just an accident waiting to happen.

Here is Stacey’s story:

Don’t get me wrong, I love guys (I mean I LOVE guys), but what if the story had been different?  What if Adam had emerged from Eve’s rib instead of vice-versa?  Would we be living in an entirely different world?  Would a woman’s success be gauged monetarily and a man’s physically?  Would aggressiveness be seen as a feminine quality and submissiveness as masculine?  Would women eat whatever they wanted while men counted every one tenth of a calorie?  I have no idea, but I asked this five years ago when starting EvesRib.com, a company that promotes positive body image and self-esteem in girls and women through fashion, while donating a portion of our proceeds to the National Eating Disorders Association.  However, this was not the only thing that led to The Creation of Eve’s Rib.

I used to miss school because I was too ugly, miss parties because I was too fat, and miss life because I was too [insert any and all negative adjectives here.]  It was assumed that I would grow out of this after high school, but things only got worse.   While having a blast on the outside—seriously, an All-American, collegiate blast—I perfected the art of self-hatred on the inside, and no one was the wiser; sometimes not even myself.

After starving, binging, vomiting, over exercising, rinsing and repeating, I somehow sought help.  The people to come to my aid were not trained professionals, yet had been immersed in the field for years. Some were young girls, just like me, others were older men I had nothing in common with, other than we all disliked ourselves.  I met these people in a support group I had found online and soon began to truly care about them.  I listened to them talk about themselves with the same hate I had been throwing at myself for years.  Although there was a difference, they were all smart, beautiful, funny, useful, and capable people.

Then it hit me: if these amazing people hate themselves with the same force that I hate myself, just maybe I’m not so bad either. (If I were Oprah, I would call this my Aha! Moment, but I’m not, so I won’t.)

As I gained recovery, I realized that there are a lot of us who feel this way and need to be reminded multiple times a day that we are just “perfectly imperfect.”  So I began creating t-shirts with messages like “Obsessing Over Pounds is for British Bankers” and “Know Your Beauty,” this way when we look in the mirror or pass someone else wearing a shirt, we remember to love ourselves if even for just that second.

Now here comes the part I did not anticipate.  When I created EvesRib.com, I thought, I was “better,” and therefore, completely unaware of the recovery I’d receive through building this company.  Constantly promoting loving one’s body really starts to stick after discussing it a hundred times a day.  Though I originally started this project to help others, there is no doubt that I have reaped the most benefits.   Of course, however, this does not mean that I am superhuman.  At times, I still look in the mirror and balk at what I see; however these instances are now fewer and my rebound time is quicker.  In seconds, rather than hours, I am able to realize that I am none of those things I sometimes feel and I never was.

So you’ve grown up, moved out, and now you’re living on your own. Still, whenever anybody asks where you’re from, you proudly state the place where you grew up instead of your current address. And no matter how much you love your college experience, there is still a comfortable feeling associated with returning home.

Your old bed.

Your old couch.

Your mom’s cooking. Mmmm.

However, no matter how long since you’ve left home, goin’ back never feels the same. Something changes; it may be a tangible difference or a change in emotion, but it’s different just the same.

When I returned home for the first time for Thanksgiving of my freshman year, I discovered the intensity of my mom’s home improvement kick. I drove away from a white house in September and pulled up to a blue one in November. My dingy twin bed was now a queen, complete with a handcrafted quilt and a wool blanket (a welcome change, don’t get me wrong). The pictures of my friends and I were out of site, and my shelves were now ridden with family photos and potpourri.

My room was no longer my room and it just felt weird.

However, there were also changes that run much deeper than my mother’s new home makeover. What would you do if you came home and the family you thought you had was completely different? This happened for me two years after I left for college. My dad took me out to dinner this past summer and told me that he and my mother were separating. The next day, he moved out. I had never lived in that house without him, and having to pick up the phone to talk to him just felt wrong.

There are so many emotions that come with changes like that, whether it’s the death of a family pet or a parent’s illness. And honestly, each time you go home, something else will probably change and evoke the same emotion. When things get hard to deal with, realize that you are really not alone. I’m sure many people you know are also going through some pretty tough changes at home. Be sure to go to your friends for advice, support, or a safe place to vent. The worst thing is letting these emotions build up without letting them out periodically.

When things change, it is all too easy to start thinking that your hometown is no longer your home. No matter how powerless you feel over these changes, try to remember all of the experiences that you’ve had over the years. Even if you don’t live in the same house or even the same state, you don’t have to leave your memories in the dust. And remember, your family will always be your family, regardless of what shape it may take. Home is where you’re loved, which pretty much covers anywhere you may ever go.

So Adriana Lima and her VS 2008 Fantasy bra are pretty damn spectacular, but what’s a normal girl to do when in need of a little lift’n’seperation (minus 1500 carats’ worth of MAJOR chafing)?

There’s no need to shell out that 5 mill, girlfriend (because you were totally considering it and all); some of the best bras within your reach will do just as great of a job supporting your own gems, and you won’t need to take out an insurance policy on them.

Strapless:

Felina’s Bra of the Year Strapless.

This super smooth bra has silicone strips on the sides, so no more slippage. Gone are the days of surreptitiously wiggling your shoulders to try to get your wilting undergarment back up to where it belongs. The convertible straps work with halter, racer-back, criss cross and one shoulder tops. The back closes with three degrees of varying tightness and is three hook-and-eyes tall, which is great for more support on bigger cup sizes. Best of all, the cups plunge all the way down to kiss in the middle, so your safe no matter how low your neckline will go.

Under sweater/ T-Shirts

OnGossamer’s Every Day Pretty Contour Bra.

Not only is it so pretty you won’t want to put your sweater on in the first place, it’s perfectly smooth underneath it. Lightly lined cups just enhance your natural shape, without pushing you out or up. The fuller cup shape prevents any spillage, so you avoid embarrassing double-boob no matter what your size.

Sexy Sexy Sexy

Frederick’s of Hollywood’s Chic Satin Bra

You can’t beat Frederick’s when it comes to over the top sexy lingerie. This baby has all a girlie-girl lingerie fetishista’s heart could desire: bows, lace, ruffles and the perfect pop of playful color.

Simone Perele’s Marquises Bra

For a more classically sultry look, this black lace number is the pinnacle of classic glamour. Black lace demi-cups scream femme fatale and the floral detail is feminine and sexy.

Every day comfort

Victoria’s Secret’s BioLift

Not only does it come in every color imaginable, the BioFit is by far the most comfortable bra I own. The material is super smooth, and the bra lives up to its promise of feeling custom made. Each cup size has a different level of padding that will enhance your shape (not make you look ridiculous or squeezed into your shirt). They’re super comfortable and perfect to wear every. single. day.

For Larger Cup Sizes

Chantelle’s Rive gauche Push-Up Bra

So there’s all this hoopla about how sexy huge boobs are. First of all, I have huge boobs and the first word that comes to mind when describing them is notsexy (it actually is a blend of a few choice expletives). Second of all, when a gal wants to show off said sexy boobs to her man, the women at typical lingerie stores are perplexed as to why they should carry any 36-D sized bras in any style other than geriatric. Enter Chantelle’s Rive Gauche Push-Up. It’s full coverage (!) so even the well-endowed can have a pretty, pretty push-up bra. With fuller cups and a higher cut, it won’t look like your boobs are eating your bra, and the gorgeous lace detail is anything but Grandma.

Victoria’s Secret’s BeautySecrets Bust Firming Bra

Leave it to Victoria’s Secret to engineer a bra that can alter the consistency of your body part. While you might worry about looking like an Olly girl (as if you didn’t draw enough suspicion of plastic surgery without rock hard ta ta’s), trust me this bra is a god send. While normal bras are perfectly fine for jiggle control on sizes A-C, if you’re a D or up, a simple walk down the stairs can make any male passerby’s day. Not if VS has anything to say about it though; the Beauty Secret has twinned straps for added support in addition to full cups so that your cups won’t runneth over. The best part? It promises that after 4 weeks of daily wear, your rack will be tighter, firmer and higher even when you’re not wearing it.

If you Have a Smaller Chest

Victoria’s Secret ‘s Very Sexy Miracle Bra.

No matter what your cup size, this bra will give you maximum cleavage. It’s padded with Victoria’s Secret Level five padding –the highest they make. Add this to the capacity to make the detachable straps a halter, and the Infinity Edge that won’t show lines in the tightest tops, and you won’t pay for a drink all night.

Jezebel’s CoCo Demi Bra

Take advantage of your girlish figure to go all out on pretty pink lingerie. The delicate shape is perfect for displaying what yo mama gave you (however generous she was). Cute bows and adorable heart charms complete the coquettish charm and the demi cups give a fuller appearance. Any boy who gets to check this out will be counting his blessings while he’s checking yours out.

I would have never dated me three or four years ago. Sure, I was lovely in most ways and I was a catch in most ways, but there was one little thing about dating that I just didn’t get: being friends after the breakup.

When my heart was broken before, I knew exactly how to manipulate the story to victimize myself and follow up with passionate vengeance. I never even gave a guy a fair chance to break up with me without it being ugly. And looking back on that, it makes me thoroughly sad.

These days, I understand relationships as more than ultimatums or pending doom and broken heartedness. Now I get it.

If I was that close to a guy before, close enough to let him be the only boy I would even kiss, he must have had something to contribute to the world and my life more than sex, right? Right. So why would I cut all of those positive things out of my life just because we made a decision to end the intimacy?

Upon realizing just how much I was giving up when I cut off all ties with my exes, I began changing my ways. I am now friends with all of my exes; yes, every last one. I have rebuilt the bridges I burned and, in fact, just hopped on a plane last month to go visit my most recent ex. As a FRIEND. And we had a great time!

When you are of the mentality that you can’t be friends with a dude after you break up, you are already hindering your relationship. You are already screwing up its natural course of growth and making aspects of the relationship ugly that don’t need to be. Damning your post-breakup relationship to Hell is not only immature, but it’s sad; if you liked a guy enough to date him, you should like him enough to be there for him when you’re done dating one another.

“But how the hell am I supposed to stay friends with him?!” you ask.

Good question. Here are some of the things that worked for me.

1. Don’t talk for a 1-3 months after the intimate relationship ends. You’ll need this time to readjust and get your own personal life back.

2. Don’t feel guilty for seeing him as something different than your typical friend.

3. Be supportive of him and encourage his healthy relationships with new women.

4. Be a shoulder for him to lean on.

5. Don’t be cutting. Save the resentment for your diary; it’s over now.

6. Don’t try to get back together. You can’t be friends if you’re trying to be more than friends.

7. Try to avoid the ‘remember when’ conversations. They bring on emotions.

8. Avoid comparisons. Don’t compare your new guys to him, and don’t let him compare the new girls to you.

9. Distance yourself from his closest friends and family. That means no calling his sister for advice or taking his new GF out for ice cream every night.

10. Recognize what you’re doing. You’re salvaging a friendship; give it time.

Yes, that list is long. And yes it is full of very difficult tasks, but let me tell you – I’m a f*cked up emotional creature, so if I can swing this I know you can. You’re probably never going to be super psyched about your ex dating a new girl, nor will you ever lose ALL of the feelings you once had for him, but being friends with him is possible. And important. And part of growing up.

(Photo courtesy of Photobucket.com)

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