Hinds Community College in Mississippi is fining students who use off-color language on campus.  The fines can be in monetary sums – $25 for a first offense, $50 for a second – or in the form of demerits that, once accumulated, can lead to suspension.  Bastards Jerkfaces.

Some are arguing that this violates our damn gosh darn First Amendment rights, and I agree. This is a  community college.  These schools, more so than four-year universities, attract students of all ages: mothers, fathers, those who took time off after high school, people advanced in their careers….  Constitutional rights aside, to tell a 40-year-old man he needs to write a check every time he drops an f-bomb is really f**king fiddlesticking degrading, no?  This isn’t finishing school, after all.

What do you think?
Are these administrators being realistic, or are they full of sh*t shadoobie?

Nothing is quite as satisfying as letting a good, loud curse fly after stubbing your toe or banging your shin.  It feels great to growl an obscenity when your computer decides it needs to take a break and randomly shuts down all programs…including the unsaved word document of your midterm paper.  Swearing, in short, is an easy and effective way to express pain, discontent, frustration and any number of negative feelings while, apparently, also making you feel a little better.

It turns out this is due to a physical reaction in your brain.  Who knew?

When we swear after moments of stress, it activates a part of our brain associated with the fight or flight response system, raising our heart rate and making us less sensitive to pain. In short, it’s good for us.

All I can say is f**k yeah!  Seriously, I always knew there was some power to those mother-f**king words.  I find a well-placed, three minute string of expletives is extremely cathartic during any exam week.  It works better than sleep or alcohol to calm you down on a sh*tty day!

There is, of course, a catch to all of this: the more you use curse words, the less emotionally potent they become.  It’s like any word that you repeat too much…it eventually loses all context and meaning.  So, while I fully support letting a blue streak fly when necessary (like when my friend vommed on my shoes this weekend? Necessary.), exercise caution during other times.

You don’t want your f**cks falling flat, do you?

My favorite SNL parodies are those Celebrity Jeopardy spoofs. No matter how many times I watch them, they constantly make me laugh.

You know what else makes me laugh that’s even better than (admittedly) mediocre satirical sketches? Retro clips of Alex Trebek swearing his head off and acting like a pompous asshole.

Listen to that Canadian accent! Impressive.

This just goes to show that even celebrities who aren’t really celebrities have overblown egos. It must have something to do with staring into a camera all day, or in Trebek’s case, spending years and years of his life rattling off little known facts and hanging out with nerds.