After finishing another long day of classes (a whole 3 hours!), you head home to grab a quick snack and go to the gym. You don’t even let yourself sit down or get comfortable, knowing that getting near that couch – even for a moment – means you would never get up again. You have a ton of reading to do, but you must squeeze in that daily workout.

You throw on a pair of workout pants, squeeze into a sports bra, grab your iPod and a bottle of water and make your way to the gym.

You play your cardio mix as you walk, pumping you up for the big workout ahead. It’s gonna be a long run, or maybe 45 minutes on the elliptical.

When you get to the gym you realize that you weren’t the only one with this plan today. The gym is packed. You make your way to the cardio room and notice a short line has already formed for both the treadmills and the ellipticals.

So you wait.

As you stand there, losing any motivation you may have had for a long, sweaty workout, you look over at the machines to see if anyone is close to finishing. That is when you spot her.

She’s wearing crisp, tight yoga pants and a sports bra. Not under a shirt, but as a shirt. Her hair is perfectly straight and her face is made up for a night at the bars. And she is on the phone. Her feet are barely moving – god forbid she should break a sweat and ruin her eyeliner – as she discusses her evening plans (quite loudly) with whomever is on the other end of the call.

15 minutes go by. The rest of the girls on the ellipticals are still working hard – sweating, breathing heavy, staring at Cell Phone girl. And she continues chatting.

You sigh loudly and obviously, shifting your weight from side to side. Maybe, you think to yourself, this girl doesn’t realize people are waiting to get a real workout.  She looks at you.  And keeps on talking.

All of that energy you had stored up for your workout is surging through you. You want to walk over and ask her nicely (“Bitch, can you get off that machine so someone who wants to actually USE it can get on?!) to get off the machine, but you don’t. Instead, you stand there and stew.

Another 5 minutes go by and, finally, she hangs up the call and stops pedaling. “Thank god,” you think to yourself.  You start walking towards her elliptical when you realize that someone else is already there. And has struck up a conversation with her. She stands on the elliptical – not moving – and chats it up with her muscley friend.

Another elliptical opens up and you finally get your workout started. It is another 20 minutes before Ms. Thang gets up and leaves the gym, not a bead of sweat dripping from her flawless face.

She walks by your machine on the way out. “Yeah, I’m leaving the gym,” she says into her Crackberry. “I’m so tired from my workout!”

Fuming, you pedal faster.

We’ve all been there. And we’ve wanted to throw some hand weights at her too.

[We originally ran this post at the end of 2008. Unfortunately it still rings true in 2010 so we're bringing it back for round 2. Share your own resolution gripes in the comments section below!]

I don’t make resolutions for the new year. Not only do I know I will not keep them, but I also know that anything important enough to give up on December 31st should probably be given up on any other day. I tried to give up cake once – what a disaster. Just knowing the 31st was coming and that I would soon be without my beloved buttercream sent me on a downward spiral that resulted with me, a fork and a missing Costco sheet cake.

The only thing I hate more than making New Years resolutions are the people that do. They are annoying, act all “holier than thou,” and make the first few weeks of every new year miserable for me.

The Gym Goers: Seriously, people, get off of my elliptical. I shouldn’t have to wait to get on my machine (that I have been using 5 days a week for the entirety of 2008 and 2009) just because you finally decided you’ve had enough with your muffin top. And, for those of you who don’t know because this is your first time at the gym, you are supposed to be sweating on that thing, not standing on it and texting your friends about the girl standing behind you giving you the stink eye.

The Smoke Quitters: Congratulations for finally kicking the smoking habit! I am proud of you – really, I am. But I am not there yet. This is not my year to trade in my black lungs for some shiny, healthy ones. So stop judging me and making that disgusted face when you walk by. You’ve given up cigarettes for .5 seconds and suddenly you can preach to me about how disgusting it is? You know you’d much rather be sucking down this sweet cancer stick right now. Don’t deny it.

The Healthy Eaters: Same goes to you, salad people. Sometimes I want a large order of sweet potato fries and I will not let you make me feel guilty. Besides, sweet potatoes are good for me!

The Money Savers: The economy sucks right now, so everyone is trying to save a buck or two. Good for you! Save that money! Earn that interest! But don’t get all cheap on me now and bring out the calculator when the bill comes at dinner, or give me a stack of your used books for my birthday after I got you a sweet new Kindle for yours. And, for real, stop talking about how little money you have. I. Don’t. Care.

After finishing another long day of classes (a whole 3 hours!), you head home to grab a quick snack and go to the gym. You don’t even let yourself sit down or get comfortable, knowing that getting near that couch – even for a moment – means you would never get up again. You have a ton of reading to do, but you must squeeze in that daily workout.

You throw on a pair of workout pants, squeeze into a sports bra, grab your iPod and a bottle of water and make your way to the gym.

You play your workout mix as you walk, pumping you up for the big workout ahead. It’s gonna be a long run, or maybe 45 minutes on the elliptical.

When you get to the gym you realize that everyone and their mother had the same idea as you; the gym is packed. You make your way to the cardio room and notice a short line has already formed for both the treadmills and the ellipticals.

So you wait.

As you stand there, losing any motivation you may have had for a long, sweaty workout, you look over at the machines to see if anyone is close to finishing. That is when you spot her.

She’s wearing crisp, tight yoga pants and a sports bra. Not under a shirt, but as a shirt. Her hair is perfectly straight and her face is made up for a night at the bars. And she is on the phone. Her feet are barely moving – god forbid she should break a sweat and ruin her eyeliner – as she discusses her evening plans (quite loudly) with whoever is on the other end of the call.

15 minutes go by. The rest of the girls on the ellipticals are still working hard – sweating, breathing heavy, staring at Cell Phone girl. And she continues chatting.

You sigh loudly and obviously, shifting your weight from side to side. Maybe, you think to yourself, this girl doesn’t realize people are waiting to get a real workout.  She looks at you.  And keeps on talking.

All of that energy you had stored up for your workout is surging through you. You want to walk over and ask her nicely (“Bitch, can you get off that machine so someone who wants to actually USE it can get on?!) to get off the machine, but you don’t. Instead, you stand there and stew.

Another 5 minutes go by and, finally, she hangs up the call and stops pedaling. “Thank god,” you think to yourself.  You start walking towards her elliptical when you realize that someone else is already there. And has struck up a conversation with her. She stands on the elliptical – not moving – and chats it up with her muscley friend.

Another elliptical opens up and you finally get your workout started. It is another 20 minutes before Ms. Thang gets up and leaves the gym, not a bead of sweat dripping from her flawless face.

She walks by your machine on the way out. “Yeah, I’m leaving the gym,” she says into her Crackberry. “I’m so tired from my workout!”

Fuming, you pedal faster.

We’ve all been there. And we hate that girl, too.

You walk into the fancy department store at the mall, and, like a moth to a flame, you are immediately attracted to the jeans section. So many designers. So many colors. So many choices. Yaaaay!

You move around the section with a goal in mind: going-out jeans. “You came for one pair,” you think to yourself. “ONE PAIR.”

But that doesn’t mean you can’t take 27 pairs into the dressing room. Come on! They all fit differently and you don’t know exactly what look you want to take home. Skinnies? Wide leg? Black? Super dark? To wear with flats, or to sport with heels?

By the time you make it to your dressing room (which seems extremely small when filled with 40 pairs of jeans…and a few shirts you found along the way) you are sweating. You begin to strip off that baggy mess of a pair you reserve for Saturdays and start attacking the pile o’ denim in the corner.

The first few pairs are “Eh,” but you keep trucking. You were saving your favorites for later anyway. You finally get to that oh-so-hot pair of super tight and super sexy dark skinnies. You know these would turn heads and you have been eyeing them for months. You want em, you want em, you want em!!

You put one leg in. Then the other. You pull them up. They stop.

You grab onto the belt loops and keep pulling.

“They are supposed to be snug!” you tell your reflection in the mirror. You begin jumping around the dressing room, fingers in belt loops, attempting to get these jeans over your ass. As you break your second sweat of the day, the dressing room attendant knocks on the door.

“Everything ok? Can I get you another size in anything?”

“No, <heavy breathing> I am doin’ ok!” As she walks away you successfully button the jeans. You can’t breathe, but damn your ass looks good. And the jeans are gonna stretch out anyway – they always do.

So you help them along a little bit. You put one leg up on the dressing room bench and begin stretching. You start doing lunges, Downward Dogs, and squats on the floor. You sit down, stand up, sit down again.

When you are finally done with the dressing room aerobics you are glistening with sweat, tired, in need of serious sugar, and sporting a nice red ring around your waist… but fitting into those hot new jeans.

“They are perfect,” you tell yourself as you peel them off so you can go buy them, leaving that giant mess of a dressing room for someone else to clean up.

Don’t worry; the girl in the dressing room next to you (and in dressing rooms across the country) have been there, too. You are not alone.

“But what about a man’s scrotum?!” you ask. Well, now they have that too.

Ladies and (especially) gentlemen, I present to you: Man Junk.

I know what you are thinking (“Oh what a glorious day! Hallelujah! Finally, no more sweaty stench!”), and I am right there with you.

There have been products on the market to keep women so fresh and so clean (clean) for years, so it is only fair that a product was developed to do the same for men. I mean, men are constantly complaining about what goes on downtown on a woman, but they have no clue what we are dealing with in their nether regions.

Mainly: the scent.

According to the Man Junk website, normal male body soaps are not strong enough to mask the Eau de Scrotum of a man (Editor’s Note: Don’t I know it! Daaaamn.), so some super smart guys got together to create this organic body wash focused on this one main zone. Which makes things much more pleasant… for everyone.

This sounds like a dream come true…if our boys would actually go out and purchase it. Which I imagine they would do right after they offer to pick up our tampons. Read: never. Most guys would die before they would let on to anyone that their scrotum may possibly stink. Hell, most guys won’t even entertain that thought for themselves! So, that means that it is up to us, ladies, to make the Man Junk purchase….or withhold on the trips downtown until the boys do.

Whoever picks up this product, I think we all owe the people behind Man Junk a giant “OMGThankYouSoMuch!“

So, thank you, makers of Man Junk. We, the women of CollegeCandy, salute you.

The semester’s off and running, the weather’s getting worse, and next summer feels like an eternity. It’s easy to find your mood plummeting, your motivation waning, and your usually chipper self turning into a snappy betch. Misery has a snowball effect: you’re grumpy, and it rubs off on your roommate; you’re already in a bad mood, and walking into a pop quiz can set you over the edge. Before the blahs take over your body, take time to stop, breathe, recharge and rejuvenate. Here are five quick pick-me-ups to get you out of a funk.

1. Sleep: You’ve been up at the crack of dawn every morning to hit the gym, struggle to stay awake through three back-to-back classes, rush to your part-time job, and finally head home to tackle several hours worth of homework. Of course you’re feeling dreary! Lack of sleep can have adverse psychological effects– take it from a girl who is known to burst into tears at the slightest provocation after pulling an all-nighter or two– so even if you can’t fit in a full eight hours of sleep a night, treat yourself to a long, comatose nap. When you wake up, you’ll be more energetic and alert, so it might even boost your studying stamina later in the week.

2. Treat Yourself: You’ve been running on empty for weeks, neglecting yourself in order to make a good impression on your professors, sorority sisters, friends, coworkers, etc. Do something nice for yourself. If you have some extra cash, buy yourself a new outfit. If you think you look good, you’re bound to feel good, too. Low on cash? Scrape together some change and download a couple of jams on i-Tunes. I mean, they’re only 99 cents most of the time– you deserve it! Get a track that will raise your spirits, like Flo Rida’s “In the Ayer,” DJ Laz’s “Move, Shake, Drop Remix” or, for a bubblegum pop sound, The Orion Experience’s “Obsessed with You.” Then, crank up your speakers and have your own personal dance party for a few minutes. It’ll be worth it.

3. Exercise: Everyone knows that cardio releases endorphins in your brain. When I’m in a bad mood, I take out my anger on the elliptical machine, and half an hour later, I’m dripping with sweat, I’ve burned 400 calories, and I forget what I was so frustrated with in the first place. If you’re really miserable and the first five minutes feels like forever, just pushing yourself to finish the circuit can feel like an accomplishment. If the university gym has a group exercise schedule, take advantage. You’re less likely to quit after ten minutes of Zumba when you’re surrounded by twenty of your peers, and chances are, the class comes equipped with some peppy beats.

4. Laugh it Off: Throw a Will Ferrell flick into the DVD player or catch up on The Office. Go online and waste your time at LOLcats or Yearbook Yourself. My personal favorite is Group Hug, which has been around longer than PostSecret. Whenever I read the confessions on this site, I either pee my pants, or just feel better about myself for having NOT done some of the shenanigans these strangers own up to.

Other ways to laugh it off? Grab your roommate and act like five-year-olds. My former roommate and I both had final exams the DAY BEFORE we graduated college. We needed to study, but couldn’t focus. We were stressed that we couldn’t focus, because we didn’t want to screw things up at the last minute. So what did we do? We put on our caps and gowns, and drew giant smiley faces on pillowcases and wore them over our heads.

We actually won a graduation-themed photo contest with that one. Of course, we can’t all be ruining our bedding every time we get stressed out, but I’ve found that a solid phone call with a good friend in which we recount the stupid sh*t we’ve done over the years also works wonders.

5. Blow Everything Off: If you decide to sleep, shop, work out, or watch a movie, chances are you’re blowing something off to do it. But sometimes, you need to put everything on pause. Working five shifts a week on top of your heavy course load? Take a night off… just because. Social schedule getting in the way? Turn off your phone and spend some QT with yourself. Social schedule nonexistent? It won’t kill you to skip your night class (just this once) and go dancing with your friends.

Hell, blow off your diet and 3-hour-a-day workout routine and eat a freaking piece of chocolate cake. You might be thinking, “There’s no way I have the time to blow everything off!” But sometimes, you have to choose your battles. If you stress yourself into a nervous breakdown, you won’t be getting any homework done from the psych ward.

[Any other funk-fighting tips?]

(photo from www.justlaura.com)

And as you can see, so is Lauren.

[And yes, I know I used the wrong form of "you're" up there. I feel terribly dirty.]

Heat = sweat

Sweat = pimples

As someone who enjoys the outdoors, runs almost daily and has a tendency to break a sweat during even the smallest tasks (like walking to my car!), I have come up with some easy ways to maintain a blemish free face for the warm months.

Less is more. Whether you’re going to work, to a picnic or to a bar, summer days and nights can become excruciatingly hot and humid. One of the best ways to keep your skin clear is to wear less foundation (no cake make-up, ladies) while you’re out and about. Since most individuals have a natural glow in the summer, due to the heat, the use of lots of foundation blocks air from getting to your pores. This prevents your pores from breathing properly, thus creating bacteria build-up that can turn into pimples. If you cannot bear to go without some face make-up, use a tinted moisturizer, light powder or bronzer to give yourself a base.

Wash carefully. Despite what makeup you do use – a little or a lot – you must practice a routine of twice a day (morning and night) face washing. Something mild, like a Cetaphil Daily Face Cleanser, will be easier on your humid skin than something stronger, like a Noxzema or Clearasil.

Drink. Drink. Drink. When you sweat, your body is releasing liquids, thus causing you to become more dehydrated. Make sure you drink lots of water to hydrate not only your body, but your skin as well. Drinking roughly two liters a day is enough water to balance your body and its sweat glands.

Wash that sweat off. After you exercise, make sure you take a shower as soon as possible to wash off the sweat, dirt and any other ickiness. Not showering after a workout causes the sweat to dry and go back into your pores, causing the inevitable bacteria build up. Showering soon after working out (or any physical activity…hem hem) can limit the amount of potential pimples that can show up. Note: If you can’t shower, bring a wash cloth with you to dab your sweat off. It helps kill that on-the-surface sweat and bacteria in the meantime.

Eat right. You may be saying, ‘’How does food have anything to do with pimples?” Well, my trusted CC-ers, eating more fruits and vegetables can strengthen your skin.

Leave your Do’ Alone. Use less hair gel and hair spray. The oils in your hair products can run down onto your forehead and face when you sweat, causing the chemicals to get into your skin and produce pimples.

So ladies, next time you’re laying on the beach or going for a job, keep these tips (and a bottle of water!) with you, so you can have clear, flawless skin for the hot summer days.

[Photo courtesy of www.teamsugar.com]

Reebok must have heard those imagined thoughts (because I certainly never thought them) and created a product that pretty much defies all logic but still probably sells well: the scented sports bra!

For a mere $28.95, your breasts can smell like they just brushed their teeth…or something. What’s the value in having minty fresh boobs?

I guess for the sweaty chicks among us, the minty scent can mask the otherwise offensive odors that may eminate from our chest, right? I mean sports bras and boob sweat go together like Bret Michaels and strippers!

But honestly, I’ve never noticed that boobs may need a little scented boost. So, the only other reason that this unnecessary product could possibly exist would have to be the aromatheraputic properties of peppermint.

Maybe your sinuses need a little clearing out in the midst of your kickboxing class.

Maybe your 10-mile run could use a little spicing up (especially on the streets of Manhattan). Or, maybe you’re just out to catch the eye (or nose) of that dude in the weight room who looks to actually have an IQ of over 50.

Is this stupid product absolutely ridiulous, um, yes. Does it smell good? Mixed with gym sweat…no. But all you hippy chicks on your way to Pilates…enjoy!

And for the rest…I hope you catch that mint-loving jock!

• For 3 hours this Saturday there are going to be a lot of angry fat kids. We should probably be a little nervous. (MSNBC)

• Who needs a masculine jock-y boyfriend when you can just drink man-flavored sweat soda? Mmmm. (Business Week)

• Penn State is bullying little kids out of using their logo. Cause you know, using a dangerous looking animal as a mascot is an original PSU idea. (Fredericksburg.com)

• Going to attempt to cram 50 dressed-up classmates into your dorm this Halloween? Of course you are! Here, we did a little shopping for you! (NerdApproved.com)