Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list…or that list, because I don’t really do groceries (there is a reason why they deliver pizza) and to-do lists are totally not my scene (if such a scene even exists) and, unfortunately, I haven’t added to that list in quite awhile.

No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever or which apps rock my world.

This week, as we round out 2009, I’ve picked out our favorite media-buzz worthy events of the year. Keep in mind that this list will include a lot more cheating and Ed Hardy than Healthcare reform and economic crashes. (Sorry Madoff, I’m just not that into you).

10. Letterman Gets “Creepy” With His Staff
And somehow still comes out looking like the man for fessing up. Undesirable actions, admirable apology. Take note…

9. Tiger Woods
He’s changing his name to “Cheetah.”

8. Lady Gaga Takeover
As the year progressed, so did the world’s love for Gaga. Opening up the year with “Poker Face” and “Just Dance,” Gaga inspired many Halloween costumes, a rediscovered love for good pop music and rounded out the year with the inspired and wacky “Bad Romance.” Read More »

Most experts will tell you to wash your hands or get the vaccine to protect yourself from H1N1. Leave it to Cosmo to offer up some sexier alternatives.

Somehow, I think a dude was behind this one: “Babe, I think we should try doggy style tonight. You know, to stay safe.”

Thanksgiving has been over for less than 24 hours, which means that the world is already in full-fledged holiday season mode. The advent of The Season brings with it all kinds of things, some positive and some negative: major deals and awkward run-ins with high school friends, feelings of gratitude and feelings of Grinchiness, holiday nookie and ever-increasing swine flu paranoia, and so on.

It does suck that we’ve got to start thinking about time management so that we don’t totally bomb finals, even though there are a ton of more important global issues on our minds right now, such as “Is Prince William suddenly fugly?” and “How good is Taylor Swift, really?” And then there’s that new “desire drug,” something I certainly wouldn’t want to find in my stocking (…if I had a stocking).

In the midst of all this turmoil, maybe it’d be best just to focus on the positive side of The Season. Gift giving and getting, pumpkin pie, red Starbucks cups—whenever you start to get overwhelmed with everything that comes along with late November and December, try to take a deep breath and remember what’s great about the holidays. Or, you know, make a list of all the things you hate, if you think it’ll make you feel better.

FML.

You roll out from underneath your covers to turn off your alarm clock. You’ve got a very busy day ahead of you: three classes, a group meeting and a date with your roommates to catch up on Glee from the past three weeks. Everything has been so busy lately you haven’t had time to eat a meal, let alone get your weekly dose of Finn. If you’re not sleeping, you’re in class, and if you’re not there you’re in the library, oftentimes well past midnight.

And it’s finally catching up to you.

As you try to rouse yourself out of bed, you feel it. Your head hurts, you can’t swallow and your whole body just feels achy. You walk to the bathroom to wash up, hoping it’s just one of those “I slept with my mouth open” deals; it will go away in a few minutes.

Only it doesn’t. In fact, bending over the sink to splash some water on your face makes you dizzy and angers the little men pounding hammers against the inside of your skull. It’s official: you’re sick.

“Oh god. Could it be Swine Flu??”

You crawl back to your room and sit down at your computer. You enter your symptoms into WebMD figure out your diagnosis/rule out any deadly diseases. You learn that you either have the flu… or meningitis. Either way, you need to take your temperature, which you cannot do since you don’t have a thermometer. Maybe you can just sleep it off?

Before getting back into bed, you send a quick email your professors/group members/roommates to let them know that you are sick. You do not mention the word “flu”; you don’t need anyone sending you to the Swine Flu quarantine, thankyouverymuch. Read More »

You know what I'd be thankful for? If Swine Flu wiped out the cast of The Hills.

Every week I write a list. Some people say I’m like David Letterman, only without that whole sexual scandal thing. Or gray hair. Or late night talk show. So, really, the only thing that D.L. and I have in common is our love of a Top 10 List. And what’s not to love? That’s why I bring ‘em to you every week. The real deal. The good stuff. The world’s most important issues.

You know, like stupid celebrities and things that piss me off on Facebook.

This week, in light of the upcoming treasured holiday, I started thinking about all the things in my life that I have to be thankful for: my family, the boy, YSL lipstick and, of course, the inevitable huge delicious meal my mama’s going to prepare this week. But that’s all kinda boring. I mean, who isn’t thankful for YSL lipstick family? So instead, I decided to count down the 10 things I’m un-thankful for this holiday season (or any season, for that matter).

10. The Swine
H1N1 or any other strain of the flu that everyone seems to have caught this year. Stay away.

9. Speidi
I don’t know how many times I can say it.

8. The Bump-it
I’m over this look, and what the hell? How is this a real thing?

7. Any douchey daddy drama in the celeb world.
I’m looking at you, Michael Lohan

6. Ugg boots
I don’t care that they’re comfy. They’re hideous and o-v-e-r. Read More »

Thanksgiving is less than a week away. That means you’ve got six days to hit the gym and eat healthfully in an attempt to make up for the massive amounts of fat, sugar and tryptophan about to hit your bloodstream. (Unless you’re currently single, in which case you’re probably mainlining cake frosting at this very moment.) I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it.

But even though the holiday isn’t here yet, your girls at CC have already found plenty of things to be thankful for. These include but are not limited to:

-       Realizing that we we’re perfectly happy without needing to look at copious pictures of dicks. Note: the link leads to a post, not to said dick pictures.

-       The Oxford English Dictionary finally validating our Facebook obsession.

-       The Swine Flu vaccine—or not.

-       Debunked diet rules. I always had an inkling that eating ice cream after 9 PM wouldn’t be any worse than eating it in the afternoon. Or in the morning. Or right now…

-       Wiser, more experienced girls who can teach us how to impress brothers and sisters at a Greek formal or what to do when sex stops being polite and starts getting real.

-       Embarrassing party photos, as long as they’re taken of somebody else Read More »

Ew. Ow. Shots. Ew.

At this point, Swine Flu (or H1N1 if we want to be politically correct) has been branded into our consciousness. It seems like we can’t go anywhere without seeing a poster or a commercial telling us to protect ourselves. Suddenly the lessons we learned in grammar school are being made into multi-million dollar ad campaigns. “Wash your hands! Cover your mouth when you cough!”

It’s a little ridiculous how much everyone is freaking out. Then again, whenever I see someone sneeze I run in the other direction in fear that I will soon sprout a tail and oink all the way to the emergency room. So am I avoiding this swine flu like the plague? Hell yes. But when it comes to the vaccine, I’m not as sure.

I want to be as protected as possible, but I also don’t want to throw myself under the bus by injecting this mysterious killer into my blood stream. I talk to one person and feel like it’s the best thing since sliced bread, then the next minute someone else has me convinced that I would be making the worse mistake of my life.

It’s painfully clear: I’m torn. Read More »

This guy is the least of your germ problems.

Despite the fact that I ran around for weeks downing Airbourne and bathing myself in hand sanitizer, I couldn’t outrun the flu and it currently has me severely down and out (don’t worry I’m not about to sprout a curly tail over here, it’s just our regular old seasonal pal).

As I spent the weekend lying in bed, underneath a pile of tissues and cough drop wrappers, I attempted to retrace my steps. Where did I go wrong? The first thing that popped into my head was a toilet. I mean, aren’t public restrooms pretty much the dirtiest places we visit? But I am positive that I had maintained sturdy squats never losing balance and always flushing with my shoe…

So where could I have picked up this infections, atrocious and nastalicious flu?

Apparently, the possibilities are endless. Well, not totally endless. It turns out the toilet is the least likely culprit. The porcelain god may be dirty, but it is cleaner than a lot of things we encounter every day. The worst part? We don’t even realize the things that are swimming in bacteria. Gross bacteria. The kind that definitely caused whatever has taken over my poor little body.

Here’s a list of some of the culprits to watch out for. Be careful out there, people, or you may be joining me in my germ infested death bed come next weekend. Read More »

Yeah, that's my life savings right there.

Because I’m making six pennies a year in my job after taxes, I follow a very strict budget that allows me to afford a moderate amount of food and a moderate amount of fun. There is no room for a savings plan in my budget so I just figured if I was extra careful nothing would ever go wrong.

Then last week everything went wrong.

I spilled sangria (or water according to the troubleshooting report I made to Apple) on my laptop, I dropped my straightener one time too many and it broke, and I found out my parent’s insurance company is onto me no longer being a student and has dropped me. For those of you non-accounting majors out there, that’s about 5 billion dollars worth of problems.

I had a minor panic attack. And by minor I mean I opened my window, stood on the ledge for a few moments, and thought about who I would haunt if I came back as a ghost. Then logic hit me and I realized that because I’m only one floor up I would just break a bunch of bones, sending me to the hospital and making my lack of insurance problem even worse.

So instead of jumping I thought of my other options. Luckily my grandparents who live in the city had a laptop I could borrow until I figured you out what to do about my laptop-turned-coaster. Unluckily it was designed for the partially blind. I’ve seen desktop computers more portable than this laptop. Hell, I’ve seen elephants smaller than this thing. The screen was about a football field long and the font was visible from space. This proved to be more than an inconvenience when I was blogging at WiFi cafes.  I was writing about STDs for one blog and let’s just say the employees at the cafe did not enjoy being able to read about gonorrhea while serving coffee. So not only did I have to blog from home all week, but I’m pretty sure I’m on a sex offender list now. Read More »

The Jonas Brothers are NOT breaking up, OK?

Fight the flu naturally!

What exactly is going on here?

Is Josh Duhamel a cheater??

Miley’s got some freaky-ass fans.

What makes a man bad in bed?