We all know they hate it; if it wasn’t for the magic spell that “boobies” hold over men, they would never, ever watch most of the things we do. So they next time he decides to take one for the team and utters those little words, surprise him with something that won’t make him (or you) want to curl into a fetal position and close your eyes until it’s over.

The Jerk – Classic Steve Martin. The story of a man, raised by a black family, only to grow up and be crushed that he’s “going to stay this color!” He sets out to wander the world, looking for his “special purpose” plus, you know, love, success, and comedy gold . If either of you hasn’t seen it, it’s a must. Selling Point for Him – Steve Martin early in his career
BONUS: You’ll both love what he discovers his “special purpose” is.

Snatch - Jason Statham and Brad Pitt star in this action-crime comedy about a boxing promoter who ends up in too deep with a mob boss and needs an amazing bare-knuckle brawler to throw a fight to get him out of it. There’s also a hilarious subplot about a group of guys who steal a huge jewel.
Selling Point for Him - Plenty of crime, action and a touch of gore. And Brad Pitt’s fight sequences might actually be more awesome than those in Fight Club.
BONUS: Brad Pitt looking crazy hot, being funny and almost never wearing a shirt. Yeah, baby!

True Lies - A Schwarzenegger spoof on spy movies, which is also a spy movie (imagine The Princess Bride, but with espionage). The Governator is a spy hiding his real job from his family. Jamie Lee Curtis is his wife who gets convinced that she’s mixed up in a CIA plot and it all ends up with some real danger for both.
Selling Point for Him: Arnold, Jamie Lee (with a surprisingly hot body) stripping and a climactic fight on top of a fighter plane.
BONUS: Underneath, it’s all really about relationships and the things we hide from the people we love most.

Grosse Pointe Blank -A great John Cusack rom-com about a hitman who goes back to his high-school reunion and the girl he never got over. It’s got all the Cusack-y-ness that you loved in Say Anything, and all the killing people your boyfriend could want.
Selling Point for Him - The shoot-out in a convenience store that ends in an explosion.
BONUS: He just might get some sweet ideas from John-boy on how to be romantic.

Last of the Mohicans - The first time anyone realized that Daniel Day-Lewis was sexy. It’s all about an American settler who’s adopted by the Mohicans and grows up to kill a bunch of guys during the British/French colonial clash. He also spends a fair portion of the movie protecting two British women and falling for one of them.
Selling Point for Him: There are two major tomahawk fights. Yep, that should do it.
BONUS: Did I mention Daniel Day-Lewis is sexy? Because he’s sexy.

Swingers - Since you’re probably tired of action movies by now, this one is basically a romantic comedy from a guy’s perspective. It’s all about a guy trying to get over a break-up and his friends taking him out to try and help him move on. This is one of those movies that guys seem to universally love and it’s a funny sort of insight into their private world.
Selling Point for Him: Vince Vaughn is on top form here, at his fast-talking best.
BONUS: You just might be able to talk him into learning to swing-dance after this one… OK, maybe not.

So, as much as you would like to watch The Notebook for the 437th time, give the poor guy a break once in a while. Plus, you can show him the list, and maybe the next time you mumble “whatever you want to watch” you won’t get stuck with Steven Segal.

I have a good friend, I’ll call her Sandy, who recently decided that open was the best kind of relationship, so all of my advice is the direct result of her actual experiences that have been rehashed to me. My friend’s trial run didn’t turn out so well, she and her boyfriend eventually broke up, but she insists that it wasn’t all bad and that she’d do it again given the opportunity.

Cons

1) Your significant other is f**king someone else

This falls under the category of obvious, and something that can’t be emphasized enough. Someone else is hollowing out your girl, or on the flipside, your boy is balls-deep in a different box. I don’t think there’s really too much more to add here. I personally couldn’t stand the idea, but from what I’ve been told, when both partners are hooking up with different people it’s a lot easier. The trouble for my friend started when she wasn’t getting any from outside sources and her bf was getting a lot.

2) “I’m too tired” takes on an entirely different meaning

Sandy told me that one of the reasons she agreed to the open relationship was because her boy wanted sex a lot more than she did, and she thought that if he could get all he wanted there wouldn’t be as much tension between them. (Oops.) Problems arose when she wanted some sexy time with him and he was “too tired.” She said that had never been a problem in the past. He didn’t use the excuse often, but it happened a few times, and Sandy always knew what it really meant. (Too much poon…)

3) So what really constitutes cheating?

Sandy was never accused of cheating during the open relationship, but one of her boyfriend’s hookups was. The best part is that it happened because Sandy made out with the girl at a party. That’s right, it was some good ol’ fashioned girl on girl action and he was upset about it, but not with his girlfriend, he was pissed that his open relationship companion made out with his girlfriend. I don’t think he saw competing with his gf for girls as a potential problem, that one would have slipped my mind too. Oh what a tangled web they did weave.

Like I said, Sandy doesn’t believe it was all bad. She had a couple of experiences she thought were really positive.

Pros

1) New tricks of the trade

Both Sandy and her boyfriend brought back new things to try in the bedroom from experiences they had with other people. Sandy told me that their sex life had become pretty repetitive and boring while they were monogamous. They’d been together over three years at this point, but branching out helped them bring some variety back to the bedroom. Showing each other new tricks, positions and sensations was her favorite part of the open experience.

2) Living out your voyeur fantasy

Sandy and her bf hooked up mostly with mutual friends, a couple of whom were also in relationships. So on top of trading partners they also tried out hooking up in the same room at the same time. This wasn’t your experience from freshman year when you and your roommate brought back guys and tried to be quiet so nobody knew you were doing it. This was entirely intentional, and meant to be observed. Now, this isn’t for everyone, but according to my friend it was a lot of fun. Watching another couple have sex really did it for her.

3) Maybe you find something better

This isn’t something Sandy told me about; this is my own opinion. As I said before, Sandy and her bf broke up after they started the open relationship, and in the end Sandy’s ex ended up with one of the girls he met during the experience. He found someone he wanted to be with more. I don’t think either started out looking for someone else, but in the end it happened for one of them. If you’re starting an open relationship because you’re unhappy with what you’ve got (even if it’s just a small thing) odds are you’re looking for something, or someone different.

(Image: Tribe.net)

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish.

Of course, the best things about being single is your right to be spontaneous, and, more importantly, flirtatious. Since my ex and I were long distance, every visit had to be carefully planned. We had to find a weekend, make travel arrangements, and then plan an itinerary of activities to make every moment together count. I’m not saying these trips weren’t fun, and we definitely had a blast, but I like to live in the moment. We could never call each other an hour beforehand and say, “It’s been a rough Tuesday, want to go to happy hour?” He couldn’t show up on my doorstep unannounced for a romantic date, or even a quickie. Furthermore, everyone in college knows that it’s really hard to plan a weekend in advance. Often, I’d be super stressed before I left, because I knew the weekend would fly by, and on Monday I’d be struggling to cram for exams and write term papers.

Now that I’m single, I can go to a party that I was just invited to; I can decide last minute if I want to stay in with the girls, or accept a dinner-and-a-movie invitation from a guy who may or may not have more-than-friends intentions (and I don’t have to worry about his intentions anyway, because I’m single). In fact, hanging out with a guy, not knowing where the night is going to go, is a feeling that I’ve missed. With my boyfriend, I was safe and secure; someone loved me. He loved me even in sweatpants. He loved me even if I got wasted and tried to cook a giant supreme pizza in his microwave at 4 a.m. (with the plastic wrap still on). That was great and all, but the other night, I dressed up like a “real girl.” I got decked out in a figure-flattering dress, heels that made my legs go on for days, and even let my roommate do my makeup. I was out to turn heads, and it was 100% permissible.

I know that I’m going to crash and burn more than a few times as I try to settle back into the singles scene. I know I’ll face rejection and go on awkward first dates. I know that I’ll get hit on by guys that really make me miss what I had with my ex-boyfriend. But, for me, and the place I’m at in my life right now, it’s exactly what I need. And I know it’s only summer, but my first single Valentine’s day in years can’t get here fast enough.

[Photo courtesy of dailymail.uk]

My vegan week isn’t due to some sudden desire to save animals that would otherwise end up on the tip of my fork. I’m not opposed to saving animals –– if a cute puppy were to cross the street in front of me, I wouldn’t run it over –– but this adventure is purely an experiment. I’m doing it just to see if I can.

In preparation for my weeklong meat, dairy, and gelatin-free adventure, I searched the Internet for vegan-eating rules and information. When I Google searched “veganism,” the pull-quote from Wikipedia read: “Vegans are the result of a conspiracy among the liberal elite to create a new race of inbred, herbivores.” I’m nervous already.

Sunday

12 AM: My vegan week officially begins. I am immediately hungry. I fix myself a bowl of oatmeal. Basically, I’m eating a bowl of mush for dinner. Not satisfied.

Monday

Breakfast: Oatmeal, again, but this time I flavor it with maple syrup and it tastes a lot better. My usual skinny cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks is replaced with a soy latte. It’s good, and because they use Vanilla Silk, I don’t need any sugar.

Lunch: I’d heard good things about Jax Vegan Café in Westwood, so I go hunting for it. I drive up and down Westwood Boulevard for thirty minutes before I find it. It’s closed on Mondays. Just my luck. I go to plan B and drive to Santa Monica to go to Real Food Daily, another vegan restaurant. It’s closed for construction. Can’t a girl catch a break? I am frustrated and downtrodden, which requires a trip to Ross to cheer me up. But finding ridiculously cheap and cute shoes ($4 for a pair of high heel sandals!) that are made of leather (definitely not vegan) just worsens the situation.

Dinner: I finally find vegan food! I go to Swingers in Santa Monica where I get a vegan burrito: tofu, beans, quinoa, and spinach inside a wheat tortilla with a chipotle-style sauce to top. The spinach is a bit odd, vegan rice would have been better than quinoa, and I get extra sauce to add some more spice and mask the odd ginger flavor (from where? Who knows?!).

Overall, the day wasn’t great, but it could have been a lot worse. I managed to get a filling vegan meal, but Swingers’ vegan burrito is a poor substitution for the real thing. My sister suggests I keep a vegan power bar in my car for the next time I can’t find a quick veg bite. I wonder if power bars are vegan?

[photos from swingersdiner.com]

Swingers. “You’re so money, baby, and you don’t even know it!” And it’s so, so true. Guys are just as bad as girls when encouraging their friends to hook up, and you can appreciate the other side of the story, as well as a young Vince Vaughn and Ron Livingston (from Office Space!).

Rounders. Mmmm Matt Damon and Edward Norton. My guy roommates used to play online poker for a ‘living,’ like so many other young men these days, and nothing seemed more awesome than a movie about poker. Also, part of me believes that all men share our love for Matt and Ed.

High Fidelity. Another movie about a guy’s girlfriend breaking up with him, and John Cusack’s adorableness is just another perk. This is one of my absolute favorites and I hope to marry a Rob Gordon-esque character someday.

Grandma’s Boy. I am ashamed to own this/cannot help but think of how I watched this at least a hundred times senior year with my boy roommates. One roommate always fell into hysterics during the Dance Dance Revolution scene, and I can’t watch it without laughing myself to tears thinking about it.

Fight Club. For one, it’s just an amazing movie. For two, anything incorporating a significant amount of violence and destruction is considered fantastic by a group of males.

Tarantino flicks that make for fantastic quotes later in life, as well as providing you with an off-the-wall experience:

Pulp Fiction. Even if that moron who plays Bruce Willis’ girlfriend makes you want to gouge your own eyes out, the rest of the movie is just too fantastic, and Samuel L. Jackson is a favorite.

Reservoir Dogs. I cannot listen to the Steve Miller Band’s Stuck In the Middle with You anymore without getting the chills, but it’s another really cool movie.

Trilogies that you should at least have heard of:

The Godfather. I sadly have only seen the first one, but if you own the trilogy, your street cred goes up by about a thousand percent.

Indiana Jones. Because every boy still wants to grow up and be an adventurer…. and Indy always gets the girl.

Any movies that your boys have introduced you to? Let us know what we’ve missed!