We all know that a box of wine is a box of fun. But sometimes, you have just got to 86 the cardboard and bladder bag for a classier combo. Welcome to the world of real wine, where screw tops and pour spouts do not exist. Get ready to impress your friends with your vino knowledge, techniques and hip lingo. No courses required.

My mom always told me to fake it till you make it, which has proved useful when I’m trying to flaunt my wine “skills”. Granted, I know a little bit after being around my sister (who legitimately knows about wine), but with my friends who know nothing, it’s easy to act like I am the all-knowing expert. Being an awesome sommelier bullshitter totally ups your awesome factor with the crowd. Also, your total wine-o habits have just been swept under the rug because wine is your “favorite pastime” or “new passion.” Trust me, drinking hasn’t been so fun since you first discovered the beer bong.

So here, with a little bit of help from the big sis (aka real wine expert), we show you how to fake it with wine until you make it to drunk!

Choosing a wine: I like to follow my ABC’s (Anything But Chardonnay) when I’m trying to show off my smarts. Here’s a good chance for you to say “I don’t drink Chardonnay, (insert choice wine) is much more (insert key word). You know so much you have an opinion! Or choose a wine from somewhere other than Italy. I like Spain. This gives you the perfect chance to insert the phrase “Spain is the new Italy.” See? You already sound awesome. Read More »