Life After College: Coming “Home”

No, that is not me. I'd never get drunk enough to wear a belly shirt.

I went back to Syracuse for homecoming weekend and effectively destroyed any part of my liver that was still functioning. While I had an amazing time reuniting with friends and walking to the bars while shivering in the pouring rain (man I’ve missed that Syracuse weather), I also learned that I’m officially not a college kid anymore. I honestly don’t know how I spent four years drinking every. single. weekend. on little to no sleep.

By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around I was curled up in fetal position nibbling on saltines and sucking on ice chips. All I wanted to do on the drive home was shut my eyes — which I would have done if the passengers in the car I was driving hadn’t objected so strongly.

The drunker I got, the more tired I got of having to answer the question, “what are you doing now?” So I began telling people I’m a graduate student at DeVry University and handing out a playing card as my business card. It didn’t take too long for people to stop asking me about my employment status. I did almost start a fake pregnancy rumor about myself but then refrained just in case karma hit me hard and I actually turned out to be with child. However, the pregnancy rumor would have explained why I threw up in the morning. Morning sickness sounds a lot more mature than a hangover. Read More »