I’ve started preparing for my post graduation depression/emo stage. I’ve bought the tissue boxes and I’ve prepared the soundtrack (Seasons of Love on repeat). But I also made a proactive step of creating a list of things that I know I absolutely won’t miss- that way when I’m putting on my fifth layer of black eyeliner and tattooing tears on my face I’ll remember that there were some bad things about college.

STUDYING

I always start my studying with a lot of energy and excitement. I have blank flashcards stacked next to fresh pens and my unwrapped books. I put on my fake glasses and start poring over the material faster than I can highlight. Three minutes into this invigorating “studying” process I’m bored. I only have two more tests left and then I will never ever have to study ever again. Never again will I have to eat breakfast, check my e-mail, and simultaneously flip flashcards and mumble answers to myself. Read More »

6 overtimes!? Way to go, Syracuse!

Lily Allen attacks!

Not sure I believe Brad would choose the nanny over Angie.

Michael Phelps opens up about pot picture.

John Stewart vs. Jim Cramer. Go.

Is Mandy Moore preggers?

If You Seek Amy video.

Get ready for some more affordable birth control!

Is Chanel for real with this?!

A little behind the “scenes” gossip from The Hills!

New Balance for Nine West. So cute!

Jessica Biel wants to marry JT. Um, who doesn’t?!

I came to college up north because I insisted on going to a school with all four seasons. I chose Syracuse because I tend to do things in excess. Why have a few days of snow every school year when I can spend 8/9 months at Syracuse freezing and wearing the somehow-still-popular Ugg boot for the majority of the year?

Four years ago I ran outside as the first flakes fell from the sky. I spun around and around with my tongue out reveling in the snow not because it came naturally but because that’s what people always do in the movies. I stayed spinning until a bus pulled up in front of the dorm, almost ran me over, and my friend asked me to come inside and stop embarrassing myself. Even as the winter wore on I got delight out of hearing the crunching snow beneath my feet and writing my name over and over again on ever snowy surface.

But nothing good can ever last and now as the first snow falls, I’m sitting inside wrapped in fourteen layers chugging a large coffee. I made a list of everything in the kitchen and rationed it out so we can survive five months without having to go outside and to the supermarket once. I haven’t been this prepared with food since I won the Oregon Trail in fifth grade.

So I guess the magic of snow has worn off. The first sign was probably when I put a hat on and everything remarked that I looked unmistakeably like a penis. The second sign is when my boots stopped working and I had to wrap plastic bags around my feet so the 3-foot ice puddle wouldn’t give me hypothermia. The third sign was when I made a snowman last year and someone ate the skittle eyes. Ever since then I just can’t look at snow the same way.

So here goes hibernation ‘09. It should be a blast.

In the late eighties, Barenaked Ladies frontman Steven Page promised (in song no less) that he’d buy me and every other lady ever lots of frivolous and unnecessary items like a llama, Art Garfunkel and a monkey.

Looks like he forgot all about the little ditty that made his band famous and spent the money buying a ton of cocaine and marijuana. Page was arrested in New York last week for possession of a controlled substance.

The best part? When the cops showed up, Page and his female friend tried to hide the mound of coke under a napkin. I can’t believe that didn’t work! That’s how I hid a quarter pound of parmesan cheese when I spilled it at Pizza Hut 10-years ago. I guess the Syracuse PD are a little more thorough than the hapless staff at my local “Italian bistro.”

The news of this arrest is disappointing but not exactly surprising. Despite putting out a very good last effort and a popular kids album, Barenaked Ladies have been trying to run away from irrelevancy since “Pinch Me.” It looks like it finally caught up to them. Read More »