As far as I can tell, there are three main types of celebrities that the world fawns over.

Type 1:“The Talented Celebrity.”  Think models who have shown up on the cover of Italian Vogue, actors like Brad Pitt who have starred in everything from comedy to drama, and music moguls who come out with one hit after another (think Madonna).

Type 2: “The Train Wreck- Once Famous, Now in Rehab.”  These are people like Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse, who are no doubt talented, but can’t keep themselves away from the bars and the drugs long enough to earn coveted longevity in Hollywood.

Type 3: “Why the Hell are They Famous?” The people who People Magazine, US Weekly, and Perez Hilton constantly cover, we all read about, and none of us are exactly sure what this person has done to deserve press coverage (think Anna Nicole Smith).  Below is a list of the ten best examples of these non-celebrities – the ones that take over our headlines, but haven’t done much to merit this press coverage.  And if anyone can tell me why we actually care what these people are up to…well, be my guest. Read More »

I have been eagerly anticipating the premier of the Lohan reality show since Perez announced it a few months ago. Monday’s premier more than exceeded my expectations. I’m sorry about the delay, but I wanted to be absolutely sure that I had absorbed all that I could from this trainwreck collision of Kardashiantics, Real World-esque shouting matches and Girls Next Door intelligence. The show, in a word, is brilliant. In two words, it is brilliantly horrible. Enjoy.

The show begins with a montage of sexy photos all over the house, Dina explains how nothing is more important to her than family (except for press/publicity) as she breaks up a typical sibling playfight between Aliana (Ali) 14, and Dakota (Cody) 11, showcasing how normal they are.

In the kitchen, Dina and her assistant Alexis lament the difficulties of being placed on hold to get out of Jury duty (obviously Dina has other incredibly important things to do). They immediately dive into a harrowing tabloid scanning sesh. Dina explains how sad it is that every morning the poor thing has to go through every single tabloid to see if she’s in it (oh yeah…or any of her kids/clients). Cody, who I am completely in love with, interrupts as the voice of reason, wondering why his Mommadukes has to read the tabloids. She can’t explain. I can’t either, Cody. Read More »

Seeing an ex sucks, but when you’re looking hot and life is going well a hot body can be the best revenge. Every girl knows that.

Which is exactly why Jennifer Aniston’s tabloid pictures were causing such a buzz after her Hawaiian vacay. She looked hot in her teensy weensy bikini and for once SHE was all anyone could discuss instead of Brad, Angie and their expanding brood of babies.

Of course, Jen had nothing to say about her hot body pics, but a friend told OK! Magazine,

“She didn’t realize the impact it had until she was back in Los Angeles after the trip. Everywhere she went, everyone she spoke to (told her) what an absolute knockout she is and what great shape she’s in. For a 38-year-old woman who has just come out of a relationship and hasn’t been in front of the cameras in two years — it had her walking on air.” Read More »