Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list.

“Gym or TV?”
“Jeans or dress?”
“Save money or buy a new iPhone?”

So when we are constantly faced with the awful decision of which fame whore couple is more fame whorey, we make a list. No, this isn’t Sophie’s choice, but it’s our choice and it’s hard.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two “celebrity” couples that spend their days on the cover of every tabloid on earth. Which couple should have kept the cameras out of their lives? Do we really have to choose?! Read More »

We all want Miss California to go away. Like Mark from Road Rules season 1 (who is, like, 40 and is still doing those Real World/Road Rules Challenges), she just won’t disappear. Not that it’s entirely her fault; we media peeps love writing about a scandal, and this girl is drowning in it.

First she comes out against gay marriage. Fine. She can have her opinions – we’re totally in support of that. But then we find out her boobs were purchased for her by the Miss California people. And then she wanted to milk her D-List fame a little more by starting a movement against gay marriage nationally. Oh, and now there are nudey photos circulating the web.

I normally tend to spend my time bashing people in the limelight because it is the only thing that makes me feel good without going directly to my ass (like my BFF, the McFlurry), but I’m already eating a McFlurry today, so I’m feelin groovy. And optimistic. And charitable.

So I am going to go out on a limb here and try to find some good in this Miss California sh*tshow. Namely, the lessons we can take away from it. Because she may not be the brightest bulb (“I love to live in a country where you can choose normal marriage or opposite marriage…”), but her dumb mistakes are worth learning from. Read More »

(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. [Guys We Wanna Eff]. This week’s most effable is none other than Jake Gyllenhaal. Sure, he’s all over the tabloids with his serious G.F., Reese Witherspoon, but girlfriends have never stopped us before. Er…I mean…a girl can dream, can’t she?]

Those eyes. That hair. That smile. Those acting skills. It’s a killer combination that leads to one thing: effability. Jake Gyllenhaal has been on our radar since he made his debut in City Slickers. Yeah, we were like 9, but we saw some major potential. And our love has not wavered.

Not even when he did Bubble Boy. Or when he switched teams. Come on; a gay love story? That sensitivity (not to mention, unbelievable acting) only makes us wanna throw him in a tent and eff him more.

We love that he’s a family man, that he’s totally down to earth and that he’s so good to his GF’s kids (but not the fact that he actually has one). We almost died when we heard Jakey was involved in a house fire, but grew even more attached when we heard he helped the homeowner salvage his belongings. And even though he’s been looking a little…shaggy…well, that doesn’t stop our loins from burning. At all.

I mean, look at that body. Has he been working out?!

My god, we’re getting weak in the knees right now. Sorry, Reese – we love you long time, but we’re coming to eff your man.

While I may be one of the only people still undecided for the upcoming election, I came across something today that I thought was important to share with you all. A girl I know posted a video on her Facebook status and I had nothing better to do except check it out (and by that I mean, of course I had a million things better to do but procrastination seemed like the best choice).

Anyway she posted this video showing John Mccain from last March swearing numerous times to an NY Times reporter.

It already has over one hundred thousand views.

The only problem is: it’s not true. Far from it actually.

Take a look at the ORIGINAL video; it is true that the clip is showing McCain on edge when being pressed about his private conversations with John Kerry. However, he did not swear during the interview. Not even once. And now, because some guy with too much time on his hands got crafty with his computer gadget editing tools, over one hundred thousand people are judging his character over something that is just not true. Read More »

Ever think that stars like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are just being big babies when it comes to complaining about all the attention they get? I mean, who wouldn’t be flattered that people want to constantly take pictures of them?

Well, to be honest, I can’t say that I’m entirely jealous of their lives, but for those who are, don’t worry, you can just buy your own paparazzi! No, seriously. This is an actual company, and for our celebrity obsessed culture, actually a pretty smart idea when you think about it.

Here’s how it works:

Read More »

Here’s the thing; you should never date a douchebag.

Now, sometimes, you don’t know you’re dating a douche until it’s too late. Maybe he’s awesome in the beginning, opening doors for you and being all polite and totally charming your parents, but then one day he decides to not only sleep with your best friend, but do it in your bed!

Sometimes, that sort of thing is hard to see coming.

Except when your guy looks the part.

See, if you start dating a guy who looks like he should be a total douche, but hasn’t yet shown the signs of real douchyism, chances are his true colors are going to be coming out pretty soon.

Nobody with oily hair, a body shaped by beer, couches, and pot, stupid fashion sense, and a monosyllabic speech pattern is going to turn out awesome in the end. You may think you can change this douche’s ways, get him on the fast track to a job and maybe the treadmill, but believe me—douchiness is almost impossible to stamp out.

Which is why I have no sympathy for Lindsay Lohan and her newest “scandal”. Apparently, her boyfriend for two minutes, Riley Giles (who she met in rehab. Cool!) is shopping around “personal photos” he took of her while they were dating. Obviously, those pics show LaLohan in all stages of “undress”, and are going to seriously tarnish her sweet, virginal image.

Well, okay. Chances are they’ll do nothing but prove what most of us already think, but still, who wants homemade nakey pictures of them sold to cheap tabloids? Read More »

I for one did not see this one coming.

Jessica Alba is having a baby with her beau Cash Warren.

Have our tabloid magazines and entertainment TV reporters checked out for an early vacay? Has Britney been hogging the media spotlight for so long that no one thought to even speculate?

There were no excuses like past starlets who deny it by saying “I’ve just eaten too many cheeseburgers”. There were no baggy Pucci dresses trying to cover up a little bump. There weren’t even professional experts analyzing her body language, or counting how many times she’s turned down a drink. And there have been no blown up pictures circling her belly in thick magenta marker and predicting her due date.

And to take all the fun out of guessing (and ruining potential money making tabloid covers- I so would not want to be the assitant to the Editor in Cheif at Us Weekly right now. Yikes) Alba’s rep, Brad Cafarelli confirmed exclusively to People that my girl crush, will indeed be popping out a baby in late spring/early summer.

Jessica and Cash have dated since fall of 2004 when they met on the set of The Fantastic Four.

Is it just me or is the trendy thing to be preggers in Hollywood right now? Between J.Lo, Nicole Richie, Christina and now Jess, it’s like a mass message is being spread that the days of coke followed by a getaway to Promises rehab facility is sooo yesterday (Amy Winehouse clearly did not get that memo) and that babies are the new must-have accessory. I bet Kitson will make a T-shirt about it or something. Then we will know for sure it’s a must do/have trend. Read More »

Back in the day, a celebrity’s entertainment value was limited to only two dimensions: the big screen and the small. But with the advent of the internet, (thank you, Al!) we are now able to delve deep into their personal lives and obsess over their every move 24/7- sometimes for the good they do, but mostly for the bad.

We follow their daily mishaps online as if it were the nail-biting storyline of our favorite primetime soap. There is something so inherently beautiful about the celebrity trainwreck. You know you should, but you cannot look away.

So, in celebration of this morbid fascination, we thought we would give you the chance to choose your favorite celebrity’s next misfortune.

The following are 5 Top Tabloid Heavyweights. Click on a storyline to vote for the headline you would like to see happen next.

Britney Spears

Britney Spears’ next move?

Choose your own celebrity misfortune for Kate Moss, Ellen Degeneres, Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag after the jump. Read More »

Nicole Richie is whacked!!! Someone needs to throw her into an unmarked van and force her to live in a psychiatric ward until she can start acting like a normal human.

Not only did Nicole throw a barbeque on Memorial Day that almost killed Mischa Barton, but the invitation to that barbeque is so stupid I have a headache (any and all punctuation attempted by yours truly):

“My fellow Americans, its that time of year! To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer. Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream, take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems. Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans. Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!”

Richie ends her email with: Read More »