Friends.
Family.
Happiness and health and blah blah blah.

Those are all great things to be thankful for, important things, yes.  But what about the not so important things, the little things that we all take for granted? Here’s what I’m thankful for this holiday season…

10. Trashy Tabloids. Reading about the problems of the rich and famous makes everything in my life seem so much less problematic. Sure, maybe I’m having boy problems, but at least my guy didn’t leave me for Angelina Jolie. And maybe I’m worried about wearing a bikini to the beach, but at least there’s no one zooming in on my butt cheeks. (At least not that I know of.) Celebrity scandal really helps me see the big picture.

9. Steve Madden’s Fall Boot Collection. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I just head over to Steve Madden’s website and stare at some shoes. Laugh if you want, but it totally works. They’re like works of art, I swear. And even though I’ve put myself on a boot buying ban until after the holidays, I still enjoy purusing the styles. And you will too.

8. Chocolate. I’m sorry; do you really need an explanation for this one? I didn’t think so.

7. Iced Caramel Macchiatos. Yes, I know they are overpriced and if ordered correctly can contain more calories than a Big Mac. But I love them and their ability to combine the perfect amount of sweetness and bitterness, to retain the taste of coffee while still allowing me to enjoy the caramel flavor. They feed my caffeine addiction, and for that I am eternally grateful. And the cute guys that work at the local Starbucks don’t hurt either.

6. Thirsty Thursday. An excuse to start the weekend a day early? I’ll take it. Drink specials? Yes please.  A reason not to feel like a couch potato when by Saturday night I’m in sweats watching reality TV and writing The Weekly Ten?  Perfection.

5. Reality TV. By now I think it’s been pretty well established that if women and a television genre could wed, CollegeCandy and reality TV would be on their honeymoon already. But I still had to take a moment and give thanks for the likes of Kim Kardashian and Pauly D. My life would be a whole lot less interesting without them.

4. Wikipedia. Professors always talk about the unreliability of Wikipedia, and maybe that’s true on some accounts.  But whether I can’t remember the name of that actress who played opposite Freddy Prince Jr. in She’s All That (Rachel Leigh Cook) or want a quick plot synopsis on one of Shakespeare’s greatest works, Wikipedia is always there for me. Take that professor!

3. Facebook. The ultimate method of procrastination. The perfect tool for stalking. The place where you can go to find out exactly what happened the night before. A great way to stay in touch. The social networking site that got me off MySpace!  Without Mark Zuckerberg and co., I’d be friendless.

2. Class Cancellations. Last week, my class was unexpectedly canceled. I’d been working on a big paper all weekend, and was less than prepared for my classes that day. And also not entirely sure I’d be able to make it through them without falling asleep halfway through the presentation I was supposed to be giving. Minutes before my alarm went off, my Blackberry beeped. Class was canceled. I hit the snooze button and caught up on my sleep. And it was beautiful.

1. CollegeCandy. The ultimate source for all things college. I stumbled upon this site way before I started writing here and I haven’t been able to keep away since. Why would I? Whether I need guy advice (God, how great is The Dude?!) or a silly distraction or an awesome playlist, CollegyCandy has me covered. And for that I am thankful.

What about you girls? What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

[Check out Jenn's other musings-in-the-form-of-a-list here.]

It all started with paparazzi, a pair of high waisted jeans, and an unflattering camera angle. Suddenly Jessica Simpson went from mostly forgotten pop-turned reality star to tabloid cover material. Everyone was quick to criticize the star for “getting fat.” But what kind of society would condemn a size-six beauty, when the average size for an American woman is a fourteen?

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site.

A while back we had some qualms about the big Rihanna interview and it’s timing. Wherever you came down on that argument, it got me to thinking: is it really any of our business? Celeb watching has existed for basically as long as celebrities have, but in the info-age things have been cranked up to 11 (197,000,000 hits on the search “celebrity gossip”!).

Have we gone too far?

On one side, celebs put themselves out there to be seen. You don’t become a movie or pop star today without knowing that paparazzi will be following you around. And not only do they need that kind of rabid attention to draw people to their work, but a lot of them use it to their advantage. I’m sure it’s annoying not to have any privacy, but it’s kinda hypocritical to complain about how no one will leave you alone in the magazine article promoting your new TV show. Being a celeb now is a package deal, and everybody who’s trying to break into it knows that – maybe it’s time to just suck it up and deal. Or totally embrace it.

But still, celebs are just people like the rest of us, with private lives – the fact that more people see the work they do doesn’t mean we should have the right to see the minute details of their lives. Is it really our business that Tiger Woods is cheating on his wife? That Adam Lambert and his BF broke up? Does that information affect who they are in their professional lives?

And there are a lot of things we’ll ignore in real life that we watch obsessively with celebs. Like practically all of us know someone who’s divorced, but people don’t walk up to them at parties and bombard them with questions about their ex. With celebs, that kind of behavior is fair game. Maybe more importantly though, thinking about real life, is what it reflects on us to be so celeb obsessed. I have lunch with the same girl everyday and I couldn’t tell you with certainty the name of her bf or her roommates – and yet I know Katy Perry’s cat’s name (Kitty Purry) and I’m not even a Katy Perry fan! Are we really so shallow that “knowing” celebs trumps knowing real people?

So, am I totally over-reacting? Is celeb watching just another harmless pastime for the tech generation? Do celebs really have a right to complain? Or have we seen the line in the sand and taken a flying leap over it? Duke. It. Out.

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list.

“Gym or TV?”
“Jeans or dress?”
“Save money or buy a new iPhone?”

So when we are constantly faced with the awful decision of which fame whore couple is more fame whorey, we make a list. No, this isn’t Sophie’s choice, but it’s our choice and it’s hard.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two “celebrity” couples that spend their days on the cover of every tabloid on earth. Which couple should have kept the cameras out of their lives? Do we really have to choose?!

Reality Show:

Spencer & Heidi: Speidi’s love for one another (and the limelight) blossomed into the barf-atrocious state it is in today on The Hills. Their daily lives – spent shopping, staring at each other, and making out – are “documented” as they navigate life in L.A.  And if a not-so-reality show on MTV isn’t low enough for this fame whorey couple, they are now about to star in I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here on NBC. Because silicon and Botox fit in really well in the middle of the jungle.

Jon & Kate: Jon and Kate were two normal parents with 8 kids before TLC tapped them for their mega-hit, Jon and Kate Plus 8. The show chronicles the life of two very busy parents as they raise their adorable litter and deal with major life milestones: walking, talking, first day of school, etc.

Point: Speidi. Not only is The Hills a total waste of 22 minutes of sleeping time on Monday nights, but they don’t have 8 adorable little Asian/American nuggets running around.

Makeover:

Spencer & Heidi: It’s no secret that Heidi’s had a little (or a ton of) work done. The girl’s body has a silicon to real body parts ratio of 4:1. Lips: fake. Nose: fake. Boobs: faaaaake. Oh, and let us not forget the platinum hair extensions and press-on nails. Fake, fake, fake.

Jon and Kate: It is no secret to any Jon and Kate fan that Ms. Gosselin has gone through a few changes over the years. While she was once a Middle America mom with zero fashion sense and a lot of extra tummy skin, Kate has turned into a lean, mean, fashion machine. First a tummy tuck and a few highlights, now a backwards mullet and a closet full of the latest fashions.

Point: Speidi. At least Kate’s makeover was an improvement…

Tabloids

Spencer & Heidi: Do we even need to go there? These two spend their lives calling the paps, then hamming it up when they arrive. It wouldn’t be a normal week if there weren’t some cheesy photo of these two kissing in the pages.

Jon & Kate: The Gosselins have been on 9 tabloid covers in the past two weeks. And for a couple who wants to remain private, they sure seem to be open to sitting down for interviews with anyone who will listen. Then bitch when the media talks about ‘em.

Point: Jon and Kate. Though we all pray for a week where Spencer and Heidi aren’t making out in our favorite glossy mag, they don’t pretend to hate the media attention. In fact, they make it quite clear just how much they love it.

Ex-Friends

Spencer & Heidi: Spencer and Heidi lost a lot of friends as they moved to their little island of love. First LC, then Brody Jenner, these two are now all by their lonesome (except for that weird dude with the mustache that Spence hangs out with).

Jon & Kate: We’re sure Jon and Kate made lots of friends once they got their own show, but none of that matters when Aunt Jody turns on ya. Not only was she a huge help to Jon and Kate when they needed a little babysitting help, but she’s family! And now she’s family who’s selling her Jon and Kate secrets to the media.

Point: Jon and Kate. No one is really missing out when LC isn’t in their life, but family? Now that’s bad.

Loooove

Spencer & Heidi: Heidi and Spencer love each other so much they got engaged twice (ok, once was with some fake-ass ring, but it’s the thought that counts, right?)  and married twice (ok, so one time didn’t count, but it did in their hearts!). This duo can’t keep their hands off of each other, especially when cameras are around.

Jon & Kate: They totally love each other. They even went to Hawaii to renew their vows and prove their love and dedication to the children. And Kate is always showing how much she hearts Jon by slapping him around, yelling at him and cutting him off whenever he attempts to talk. Now that’s love!

Point: Speidi. Love eac hother in private, people. We don’t wanna see it.

And the Celebretard Couple of the Week Is: Speidi! Though who didn’t see that one coming? Here’s hoping that jungle eats them alive…

First she comes out against gay marriage. Fine. She can have her opinions – we’re totally in support of that. But then we find out her boobs were purchased for her by the Miss California people. And then she wanted to milk her D-List fame a little more by starting a movement against gay marriage nationally. Oh, and now there are nudey photos circulating the web.

I normally tend to spend my time bashing people in the limelight because it is the only thing that makes me feel good without going directly to my ass (like my BFF, the McFlurry), but I’m already eating a McFlurry today, so I’m feelin groovy. And optimistic. And charitable.

So I am going to go out on a limb here and try to find some good in this Miss California sh*tshow. Namely, the lessons we can take away from it. Because she may not be the brightest bulb (“I love to live in a country where you can choose normal marriage or opposite marriage…”), but her dumb mistakes are worth learning from.

1. Don’t do pageants: They won’t catapult you to the fame you’d like them to (because 3 people watch them), and most Americans really don’t care or respect the women who take part in them. You are better off competing on Rock of Love (just look at Daisy!) than to spend thousands of dollars on hair, makeup, dresses (and boobs) for a pageant.

2. Stay Out of the Spotlight: I have longed to be famous since I made the crowd LOL during the candle lighting at my Bat Mitzvah. Seeing how the media has treated Ms. Prejean, though, I am beginning to have second thoughts. There are a lot of skeletons in my closet (and on my Google thread) that would be quickly exposed by the hundreds of enemies I have made in my 20-ish years on this planet. And don’t even get me started on the embarrassing photos. Let’s just say that life is a whole lot simpler when no one knows or cares enough about you to get the world to hate you.

3. Giant Fake Diamond Encrused Earrings Are Not Cute: Really, it’s just too much. Unless you are Flava Flav.

4. Stop Taking Naked Photos, PEOPLE: I would understand if Ms. California had taken some sexy shots in her early years to send to some thick-necked, tattooed boyfriend (because that is the kind of guy I imagine she’d like), but this princess took these knowing she’d be competing to represent her state in front of the entire country. Ok, so the 3 people who actually care. Anyways, the photo (and soon to be multiple photos) circulating the web is just further proof that no cameras should be present when nips, booty and other lady parts are exposed. That sh*t will get passed around, people (especially if you decide not to learn lessons #1 and #2), and everyone will finally know if your carpet matches your drapes.

5.  Don’t Piss off the Gay People: Those fabulous fashionistas can make or break you. You piss them off and you. are. dunzo.

I raise my empty McFlurry cup to you, Miss California, for teaching me what many other hot mess celebrities before you never could!

Those eyes. That hair. That smile. Those acting skills. It’s a killer combination that leads to one thing: effability. Jake Gyllenhaal has been on our radar since he made his debut in City Slickers. Yeah, we were like 9, but we saw some major potential. And our love has not wavered.

Not even when he did Bubble Boy. Or when he switched teams. Come on; a gay love story? That sensitivity (not to mention, unbelievable acting) only makes us wanna throw him in a tent and eff him more.

We love that he’s a family man, that he’s totally down to earth and that he’s so good to his GF’s kids (but not the fact that he actually has one). We almost died when we heard Jakey was involved in a house fire, but grew even more attached when we heard he helped the homeowner salvage his belongings. And even though he’s been looking a little…shaggy…well, that doesn’t stop our loins from burning. At all.

I mean, look at that body. Has he been working out?!

My god, we’re getting weak in the knees right now. Sorry, Reese – we love you long time, but we’re coming to eff your man.

While I may be one of the only people still undecided for the upcoming election, I came across something today that I thought was important to share with you all. A girl I know posted a video on her Facebook status and I had nothing better to do except check it out (and by that I mean, of course I had a million things better to do but procrastination seemed like the best choice).

Anyway she posted this video showing John Mccain from last March swearing numerous times to an NY Times reporter.

It already has over one hundred thousand views.

The only problem is: it’s not true. Far from it actually.

Take a look at the ORIGINAL video; it is true that the clip is showing McCain on edge when being pressed about his private conversations with John Kerry. However, he did not swear during the interview. Not even once. And now, because some guy with too much time on his hands got crafty with his computer gadget editing tools, over one hundred thousand people are judging his character over something that is just not true.

So, I’m just writing to remind you that no matter who you plan to vote for, do your research – on both sides. It’s so easy to believe the first audio snippet you hear or YouTube clip you see, but the fact of the matter is, the media loves to sensationalize and turn everything into breaking news (i.e. Jamie Lynn Spears being knocked up for the second time). (Editor’s Note: WHAT!? That isn’t true?!)

As a journalism major, I learned the importance of fact checking EVERYTHING with at LEAST two credible sources. Even minor things. My job would be so much easier if I passed things along without verifying their validity first; I would have a lot more time for Happy Hours and keg stands, for one. But, if that was the case, I also would have probably passed on hundreds of things that I thought to be true or accurate on first glance that turned out to be so 1000% false.

Things get taken out of context more often than not and the fact is, once something is out there, you can’t take it back and opinions are formed based on things that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I went to a friend’s synagogue over the Jewish High Holiday, Yom Kippur and the rabbi made a really interesting point with his sermon. He was talking about how we are all bit hearing impaired; not because we’ve spent the better part of our high school days at obnoxiously loud Backstreet Boys concerts (or was that only me?!), but because we choose what to hear and what not to. Stephen Colbert refers to this as truthiness.

The Rabbi referred to some book/study (the name I can’t remember), saying that, basically, once we believe something to be true, we only pay attention to things that prove that point. For example, if you believed wholeheartedly that Britney Spears can sing, you are more likely to tune out on the TV segment, or skip over an article in the paper, whose headline seemed to be trying to prove why in fact, she really can’t. Instead you would only focus on the articles that seemed to assure you that you are right in your beliefs. And since it’s hard to find an unbiased media source these days, it’s so easy for us to find what we want to hear and believe to be true instead of what actually is true.

So in the next few weeks, I ask that you don’t forward an email or a YouTube clip on without knowing if it is categorically correct. This does nothing more than a disservice to others… and to yourself. Before you believe what you hear spewed out by commentators, newspapers, and even the candidates themselves at debates/interviews, follow up and do the research.

So here’s to not skipping over this.

Well, to be honest, I can’t say that I’m entirely jealous of their lives, but for those who are, don’t worry, you can just buy your own paparazzi! No, seriously. This is an actual company, and for our celebrity obsessed culture, actually a pretty smart idea when you think about it.

Here’s how it works:

Basically a paparazzo follows you around for a day and takes pictures. Then, the company creates a mockup of a tabloid magazine with YOUR face on the cover! Wow, every little girl’s dream. (Hopefully you picked up on my sarcasm…)

According to Gawker, the company is based in Austin and operates both there and in Los Angeles and San Francisco. It’s called Celeb4ADay. Cute.

Unfortunately the website doesn’t list general pricing, but I can imagine that indulging in your guilty pleasures of becoming a celeb will cost a pretty penny. I think I’ll stick to my own digital camera to document crazy nights out with friends insteady of a creepy photographer following me around…

Now, sometimes, you don’t know you’re dating a douche until it’s too late. Maybe he’s awesome in the beginning, opening doors for you and being all polite and totally charming your parents, but then one day he decides to not only sleep with your best friend, but do it in your bed!

Sometimes, that sort of thing is hard to see coming.

Except when your guy looks the part.

See, if you start dating a guy who looks like he should be a total douche, but hasn’t yet shown the signs of real douchyism, chances are his true colors are going to be coming out pretty soon.

Nobody with oily hair, a body shaped by beer, couches, and pot, stupid fashion sense, and a monosyllabic speech pattern is going to turn out awesome in the end. You may think you can change this douche’s ways, get him on the fast track to a job and maybe the treadmill, but believe me—douchiness is almost impossible to stamp out.

Which is why I have no sympathy for Lindsay Lohan and her newest “scandal”. Apparently, her boyfriend for two minutes, Riley Giles (who she met in rehab. Cool!) is shopping around “personal photos” he took of her while they were dating. Obviously, those pics show LaLohan in all stages of “undress”, and are going to seriously tarnish her sweet, virginal image.

Well, okay. Chances are they’ll do nothing but prove what most of us already think, but still, who wants homemade nakey pictures of them sold to cheap tabloids?

Anyway, this whole “ex-boyfriend selling personal pictures for loads of cash” might come as a surprise to Lohan, but not to me. The second my gossip-blog hungry eyes saw the souvenir Lindsay was bringing home from rehab, I was certain of two things: A) this would not last long and B) he was a total douche.

Not only did he look the part, but after reports surfaced over the Thanksgiving holiday that he was out partying and pouting instead of spending time with his super hot, super famous girlfriend, he seemed to be the ultimate embodiment of all things douchetastic. Maybe being Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend isn’t easy (I actually imagine it would be pretty frightening), but the least the guy could do was be thankful that he was dating a girl fifty times out of his league.

Knowing Lindsay, she’s probably bounced back and right into the waiting arms of another drama-loving dude, but until she learns that “once a douche, always a douche” is just a rule of life, she should keep those naked picture sessions to a minimal.

…or at least install some good lighting.

Jessica Alba is having a baby with her beau Cash Warren.

Have our tabloid magazines and entertainment TV reporters checked out for an early vacay? Has Britney been hogging the media spotlight for so long that no one thought to even speculate?

There were no excuses like past starlets who deny it by saying “I’ve just eaten too many cheeseburgers”. There were no baggy Pucci dresses trying to cover up a little bump. There weren’t even professional experts analyzing her body language, or counting how many times she’s turned down a drink. And there have been no blown up pictures circling her belly in thick magenta marker and predicting her due date.

And to take all the fun out of guessing (and ruining potential money making tabloid covers- I so would not want to be the assitant to the Editor in Cheif at Us Weekly right now. Yikes) Alba’s rep, Brad Cafarelli confirmed exclusively to People that my girl crush, will indeed be popping out a baby in late spring/early summer.

Jessica and Cash have dated since fall of 2004 when they met on the set of The Fantastic Four.

Is it just me or is the trendy thing to be preggers in Hollywood right now? Between J.Lo, Nicole Richie, Christina and now Jess, it’s like a mass message is being spread that the days of coke followed by a getaway to Promises rehab facility is sooo yesterday (Amy Winehouse clearly did not get that memo) and that babies are the new must-have accessory. I bet Kitson will make a T-shirt about it or something. Then we will know for sure it’s a must do/have trend.

Who do you think is going to be next?

Well at least fashion is in their favor.