It was Thanksgiving up in Canada this past weekend. I spent turkey day with my extended family, eating the most delicious of dinners (though, in all honesty, almost anything is a step-up from nightly KD), devouring pumpkin pie, and feeling a bit like an outcast.

You see, while my entire family is aware that I’m an up-and-coming journalist, I always find it interesting that no one brings up exactly what I write about or what kind of publications I’m aiming to write for after graduation. Even my successes – the fact that I just got to interview my sex-columnist hero, Dan Savage, and that I’m running my very own sex advice column in my school paper – were tiptoed around like a landmine. God forbid I say the “sex” word, I suppose.

Maybe I’m too wrapped up in this world of college where finding a condom wrapper in the kitchen garbage is just another thing to laugh at, and not used to being around people who blush at the word “vagina”. I can’t help but wonder, though, why sex is such an utterly taboo topic — why being a nearly-twenty-year-old sex columnist comes with this huge stigma, even when it’s approached in the most sex-positive and family-appropriate of ways (really, it’s not like I was going to get into the intimacies of my sex life around the dinner table).

And the thing is, this isn’t just an issue that surrounds my (apparently conservative) family. This is something that affects everyone – from the girls who refuse to masturbate because they believe their vulvas are “gross”, to the married couples who let their sex lives suffer horribly because they’re too embarrassed to put into words what exactly it is that they want in bed – we’re all being affected by sex-negativity, but where exactly does it come from?

Religion
To be fair, I’m a fan of Richard Dawkins and can therefore blame pretty much any societal issue on religion. That said, I do genuinely think that much of the stigma surrounding sex and sexuality comes from religious culture; a culture that tells us that sex outside of marriage is sinful, selfish, and just plain wrong. Because religion is constantly sending the message that sex (outside of marriage) is bad, wrong, dirty, and only-for-makin’-babies, those who do have sex before marriage – which, by the way, is nearly 95% of people – are just left feeling guilty about it (like they did something bad, dirty and wrong). Funny thing is, this rhetoric obviously does not dissuade most people from partaking in premarital sex but only acts to make people feel shameful about their healthy and natural sex lives.

Language
Think about it, even the language we use to talk about sex is veiled in shame and embarrassment. We talk about that stuff we have “down there,” or, and I admit to using this phrase myself, “getting dirty.”  It’s not often, if ever, we’re able to have open and honest conversations about our genitalia using real words instead of frilly-nicknames like va-jay-jay – things we’re most likely taught from our embarrassed parents at an early age. (Hell, I was told to call my vagina my “monkey.” Yikes!)

While I’ll admit there’s nothing sexy about telling someone you’d really love to “have sexual intercourse” with them, it’s also important to keep our outside-of-the-bedroom conversations as honest and grown-up as possible; the only way to confront sex-negativity is to tackle it head on. Ladies, it’s okay to talk about your vagina! Just, please, stop calling it a va-jay-jay.

Education
I’m more and more grateful every day that my Canadian schools taught me comprehensive sex-ed. Being taught that remaining abstinent is the only way to have a healthy sex life as a married adult is not only grossly blown out of proportion, but it’s also not working. Much of abstinence only sex-ed relies on scare tactics – the “if you have sex, you WILL get PREGNANT and DIE” approach – without focusing on pregnancy and STI prevention and protection. Not to mention, you can only contract an STI from someone who already has an STI. And, while they’re not 100% effective, condoms do a pretty damn good job at keeping you baby and infection free. Oh, and the whole BS about “abstinence is the only thing that is 100% effective at preventing teen pregnancy” spiel? You will not get pregnant from oral or manual sex. Just something to think about.

How do we change it?
Recognize the sex-negativity in your own life. Stop calling sexually active women “sluts” and “whores” and make an effort to educate yourself on the realities of a sexually active lifestyle. Also, don’t be afraid to have an open discourse about sex with the people around you. Of course, these conversations don’t have to be graphic or overtly personal, but once you get the sex-positive conversation flowing, you’ll come to realize that sex is one of those things we all have in common.

Well, I found him. And I tried it.

Any guide to anal sex (like this one) tells you to start small (i.e. with a finger) and be generous with the lubrication. So we did, and it didn’t hurt like I expected, but it was a really strange feeling, kind of like the feeling you get when you have to go to the bathroom but can’t find a toilet (not that girls poop, of coarse!).  Since the finger didn’t hurt, we decided to move on to the real thing. The real thing, however, did hurt (like HELL), and we barely got anywhere before I called an end to it.

The experience confirmed what I’ve always suspected: anal sex is something boys enjoy much more than girls. I can’t speak for all girls (one of my best friends claims she can orgasm from it), but I just don’t see how it would be pleasurable. Not that I’m swearing off anal forever, but I definitely think I need a lot more prep-time (both physically and mentally) before attempting to go all the way again. I’m sure some day it’s something I’ll be able to tolerate, but can’t expect to ever enjoy it, at least not the way I enjoy sex. I would enjoy the fact that I’m making the man I love happy, but I highly doubt there will ever be an orgasm in it for me.

This doesn’t mean I would ever discourage anyone from trying it. After all, how do you know if you like something before you try it for yourself? Everyone has different preferences, and some women may really enjoy anal, at least this article on AskMen.com claims they do. They say: Women love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It’s different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she may have felt before — it’s deep inside, it’s not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body.

Now, I’m not fully convinced the guys at AskMen aren’t pushing an agenda of their own (“Come on honey, this article says you’ll love it!”), but hey, if there is a possibility anal sex could feel like they’re describing, maybe it is worth pushing past the initial discomfort to find out.

Even you don’t orgasm from it, I’m sure it’ll make your partner happy. Guys’ obsession with anal seems to keep growing. It provides a different, tighter sensation and has the lure of a forbidden fruit – how can you expect them not to want to try it? So, as long as it’s not painful for you, why not give it a go once or twice for your man’s sake? Maybe you’ll get something special in return…

Have you ever had anal sex? What was your experience like?

But what about those fantasies that are just “weird”? The ones you’re afraid to share with your boyfriend, the one’s you hear rumors about in the caf, and the ones you read about online when you accidentally Google the wrong thing and then quickly delete your web history.

This week’s Sexy Time will take a closer look at a two of the more cringe-worthy sexual fantasies out there to see what they’re really all about.

Daddy/Daughter Fantasy

What It’s All About: The daddy/daughter fantasy isn’t necessarily about incest, it’s about domination, submission and seduction. Daddy/daughter fantasies come in all forms: an innocent little girl playing “games” with daddy, a bad little girl being punished by daddy, a naughty little girl seducing daddy… use your imagination.

The Appeal: Many women enjoy daddy/daughter fantasies because it allows them to be submissive. Despite how far feminism has come, the “slut” stigma is still very prevalent in society. Daddy/daughter fantasies allow women to enjoy sex without feeling any guilt or shame. Rather than being labeled a “slut” for enjoying sex, they are simply a little girl who is doing what their daddy wants them to. Other women enjoy playing the “Lolita” aspect, the naughty little girl who no man can resist. Daddy/daughter fantasies come in all shapes and sizes and men and women all have different reasons for finding them hot.

The Ick Factor: Since when is acting out incest and pedophilia sexy? Does calling your boyfriend “daddy” in bed mean you actually want to have sex with your father?  Is a guy who is into this sort of thing also into children? The answer is most likely NO to these questions, but that doesn’t mean they don’t pop into most people’s heads when they first come into contact with a daddy/daughter fantasy.

Water Sports

What It’s All About: Wikipedia says, “Urolagnia (also urophilia, undinism) is a sexual activity in which participants derive sexual pleasure from urine and/or urination.” Many people enjoy urinating on their partner or being urinated on as a part of sexual activity.

The Appeal: There’s something kind of hot about two people who are so turned on by each other that they even find the other’s piss sexy. For the urinator, the pleasure in urine play usually comes from putting their partner in a vulnerable position and being able to act in a manner that would otherwise be completely unacceptable. For the partner being peed on, urine play can be a way to explore submissive tendencies, or they may just simply find urine a sexy thing. After all, many girls like having semen on their boobs or face (I am not one of them!), and urine is just another liquid that comes out down there.

The Ick Factor: But pee is icky! What if you get some weird disease? Even though urine is actual sterile and safe for consumption, most people can’t get over the “ew” feeling associated with it.

These are only two examples of the many taboo fantasies out there. What’s important to note, however, is that while many people find these fantasy’s “icky” or “wrong,” plenty of people find them pretty damn sexy. Really, Google searching “daddy/daughter fantasy” wields over 11,000,000 hits, and “water sports sex” turns up over 26,000,000. I feel pretty confident in saying that no matter how weird or unusual you think your personal fantasy is, there are tons of people who share the same one. Maybe it’s time we start opening up and pursuing the things that turn us on, rather than conforming society’s “missionary with a sprinkling of cowgirl” script for sexual fulfillment.

What do you guys think? Ever tried either of these? Do you have any of your own taboo fantasies?

If it’s one thing we’ve learned here at CC, it’s that all people are fascinating (Yes, even your econ professor). Let’s face it – people love to glimpse into the lives of other people. Disagree? Then please explain why you’re currently looking at your friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s cousin’s photos on Facebook. Or reading about the latest Whitney/Jay dramz in this weeks’ tabloids. Yeah we thought so.

Fact is we connect to others by learning about them. And everyone has something to share (even if it a story about an embarassing moment involving you, a banana and your mom). So to give you yet another reason to procrastinate, we started ‘The Five Questions We Ask Everyone’ (and five just for that one person) because we know whether we’re schmoozing with an A- list celeb or your local bartender, you’ll be equally entertained.

Drew Pinsky, better known as Dr. Drew, is the doctor of our generation. From answering outrageous sex questions on Loveline to discussing sex with students and their parents, Dr. Drew has really been our go-to for all things intimate. This man knows it all, which is why we decided to sit down with him to ask a few important questions. Oh, and some not-so-important ones.

5 Questions We Ask Everyone:

1. What is your most hysterical or ridiculous college memory, or the most trouble you’ve ever gotten into?

Once I was part of a group of guys and we stapled a cartoon figure onto a giant clock tower clock, and turned it into a sort-of Mickey Mouse clock with a cartoon of the president of the college.  I think back to my friends hanging my other friend by his ankles from a clock tower and I’m scared to death about when my own kids go to college.

2. What are five things you can’t live without?

My wife and kids, my laptop (Macbook Pro), iPhone, coffee (lattes particularly), and my time to work out.

3. What’s your motto or the advice that you live by?

Make a difference.

4. What is your favorite song to belt out?

Well, I was a trained singer at one time in my life, and it’s going to sound bizarre, but the Prologue from Pagliacci.

5. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Hopefully doing the same thing I’m doing now.  I love what I do, and if I can keep doing it 10 years from now, I’ll be extra happy.  I really wouldn’t change a thing.  The only thing I would add to it is visiting my kids themselves doing what they want to do, wherever they are.

5 Questions Just for Dr. Drew:

1. Why do you think your show, Sex with Mom and Dad, is so important for kids to either be a part of or to watch?

For two reasons.  One, it really shines a bright light on how important it is to be open and honest, and avoid secrets in family systems.  And the other is to acknowledge more realistically how deeply embedded our sexuality is in our emotional lives.  And that’s something our culture just refuses to get its head around.

2. If you could give one piece of advice to college students right now in regards to love and sex, what do you think is the most important thing they should know?

I think they should really examine why it is that if “hooking up” is the cornerstone of their social life and such a fun thing, why do [they] always have to be intoxicated to do it?  Just examine that, because something that’s really cool and really fun and that you really like doing, you should be able to do sober, and people don’t.

3. Do you think there’s something wrong with the way that we’re dating now in college, and how sex always comes first. Do you think we should be worried about the way that we’re approaching sex?

I’m worried that you’re not dating on college campuses.  That’s the problem.  You’re hooking up with somebody you don’t even know with no expectations, and there’s no evaluative process.  How do you ever learn who you are in a relationship, or what you want in a relationship, unless you spend time relating?  And that’s been completely removed from the equation.

4. What do you think students should be most worried about right now in terms of this lifestyle?  Is it STDs, emotional problems?

Yeah, it’s really the emotional consequences.  To deny your emotions is not a healthy thing, and so “listen to your instincts,” is what I always tell college kids.  Let your instincts prevail; don’t do what you think you’re supposed to do, don’t necessarily  do what is arousing and fun—I mean, go ahead and do that, but also learn to listen to your instincts, they will not fail you.

5. With all the shows you’ve done – Loveline, Sex with Mom and Dad – you’ve interacted with a lot of people, especially on topics that are very taboo.  So what’s one of the weirdest or strangest or most outrageous things that you’ve ever come across in your time in the field?

You know, there’s no way for me to answer that question, because every night, there’s a new call, a new question that’s bizarre and makes me blush.

Phone sex. One of those taboos that’s so great, people are willing to pay $5.99 a minute just to get some. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, you can get it for free. But you haven’t, have you? Sure, phone sex might seem awkward at first, but under certain circusmtances, it can satisfy the carnal needs of you and your partner.What’s the big deal with phone sex, you ask. I mean, sure, I prefer a quality hump to a Cingular-shag, but sometimes, you’re horny and physical contact isn’t an option.

I lost my phone sex virginity when I was in a long-distance relationship. Actually, we were having phone sex long before we had actual intercourse, because my track record was a lot longer than my man’s and I was trying to be a “good girl” and take things slow, or some bullsh*t like that.

Anyway, you know all the fluff and butterflies that come when you have a new crush, or even better, a new boyfriend. I was really into this guy. I wanted him. Bad. But I was buried with school work, and wouldn’t be able to visit him for a week or two. One night, I called him, half in the bag and 100% horny. Obviously, the alcohol lowered my inhibitions, and I started talking dirty, telling him how much I wanted him…and the next thing I knew, BAM! Phone sex.

We started having phone sex on a fairly regular basis after that. I mean, we both wanted to be together, and this was the closest thing to “real” intimacy. AND it was satisfying! Without going TMI on you folks, I’d just like to tell you that there’s something really hot about knowing that you can get your partner off from hundreds of miles away. And there’s also something hot about hearing all the things he wants to do to you when he finally gets to wrap his arms around you.

Like I said, my phone sex relationship was long distance. Still, the phone sex brought us super close together, because there is a certain amount of trust (and an equally important amount of lust) required to be able to feel comfortable about breathing heavily into the phone.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, or if your mate has to travel, phone sex is awesome. Hell, even if you call him on his lunch break and tell him all the naughty thoughts going through your head, I’m pretty sure you’ll earn ten billion cool girlfriend points. Besides, it’s a great creative outlet. If you want to have good phone sex, you better come up with some freaky shit to whisper to your man. “I want you to get on top of me and do me missionary” is only hot for the five seconds it takes to spit the words out. But, if you get creative and detail-oriented, you will drive your man wild. And just thinking about all this raunchy stuff will do wonders for your own libido as well.

An added bonus? You can vividly describe sexual stuff so funky it would never work in real life…but you can live out any fantasy over the phone.

I have been reading some great books, but I’ve also been watching some horrible television.  Seriously, people.  There are shows dedicated to moving walls with holes in them and the jumpsuit-clad morons who try to jump through.  There are shows that obviously employ monkeys to write their dialogue.  There are shows that are politically based and hours long and amount to nothing!  Even HBO and Showtime can’t save me, because besides a few great series, the movies they show during the day should never have been made in the first place.

But wait!  There is some salvation – in the form of lesser known networks and their even lesser(er?) known shows.  Shows that are fantastic but rarely seen by the normal person.  Let me use my time on the couch to your benefit and educate you on the Top 5 Shows You Don’t Know Exist But Are Awesome.

Anthony Bourdain, No Reservations (Travel Channel): We’ve featured Bourdain a few times on our site, mostly because he’s an OGIF  (Old Guy I’d Like To…).  But here’s the thing, his show is actually awesome.  Unlike a lot of TV cooks, Bourdain seems to fully understand what it is to apreciate all types of food, and is pretty fearless when it comes to A) traveling around the world and B) eating random things from random places.

Bourdain isn’t interested in comfortable hotels and beaches, he wants the raw and real experience of each place he visits.  Because of this, No Reservations tends to be less about weird food and more about the people of this world; how different we are, and how weirdly the same.  Bourdain’s narration is funny, deep, and often pretty badass…plus?  He can’t stand Rachel Ray. Obviously, the guy knows what’s what in this world.

Taboo (National Geographic Channel): Do you like gross scenarios?  How about watching people do cringe-worthy things to their bodies?  I haven’t been able to get through an episode without closing my eyes at least twice, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t find the whole experience fascinating.  This world is huge, there are people out there who believe and do things you wouldn’t believe…truly, the best part about Taboo is that it’s completely real.  We are freaking weird, and this show celebrates that weirdness.  Isn’t it time you did, too?

Deadliest Catch (Discovery Channel): A documentary series on Alaskan crab fishermen.  It doesn’t sound interesting, but believe me, there’s nothing more interesting than watching these manly dudes take on ice, giant waves, and each other.  If you’re like me and have a thing for guys who look like lumberjacks (or crab fishermen), than this show is the perfect place to look for a potential husband.  Sure, some of the guys are probably legitimately crazy, but that just makes them more fun to dream about (mmm, crazy bearded manimals…)!

John and Kate Plus 8 (TLC): It’s not news that we at CC have a soft spot for this show about a family of twins and sextuplets.  There is just something inherently watchable about the Gosselins.  John and Kate are hilarious in their own ways (she’s kind of neurotic, he seems like he’s asleep half the time), and their kids are not only superbly adorable, but also really, really funny.  You would think that watching episode after episode of tantrums, screeches, and exhausting situations would totally turn anyone against having kids, but I have to say, the more I watch, the more I want some little mini-me’s of my own!  …Just not as many.

Ghost Hunters (SciFi): I’ve been watching Ghost Hunters for about 2 years, and I’m going to continue watching it until the last episode of the last season.  Is the show scary? Not really.  Sometimes they catch  weird sh*t on their tape recorders, and one time they literally caught a ghost on camera (I don’t care what you say, it HAPPENED!, but most of the time it’s just guys sitting in a dark room saying things like “what the frig?!” and “something just moved!”.  But because everyone involved in the show is just so damn real and normal, there’s a ton of strange entertainment value.

What do normal people look like when they’re watching a faucet turn on by itself? (it HAPPENED)  What do normal people do when they think something is chaising them?  Whether you believe in ghosts or not, this show is a funny and interesting look into how many people actually do.

[Any other lesser known shows the public needs to know about?  Spill!!]

(Photo from latimesblogs.latimes.com)

As usual, last night’s Video Music Awards blew.  The geniuses at MTV have succeded in turning what was once a borderline semi-entertaining awards show into a series of tedious advertisements between more advertisements.  Great Job!

But despite all the foolishness, the red carpet was chock full o’ eye-catching looks… some hot, some way not.  So, rather than making you search thru all those grocery-store-checkout-line-webzines for your VMA fashion fix, we have compiled the best of the best and the best of the worst for your viewing pleasure.

BTW Pink- You saying “Lemme Check My Flow” in a song has a way different connotation than when Eminem says it… and the thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

(click thumbnail to view full image)

The student-teacher relationship gets completely morphed once college hits. Lecturers can be more laid back– the “hip” teachers wear jeans to class and drop curse words to express their points. In many cases, students and teachers can work closely, whether it be during office hours or on a collaborative research project. But, when it comes to student-teacher relationships, how close is too close?

Most of the “hot” teachers in college are probably shrouded in urban legends revolving around steamy love affairs in class. The profs who really connect with the students and relate to us on our level are targets for schoolgirl crushes. And once in a while, a professor comes along who takes full advantage of that. There are obvious taboos regarding student-teacher interaction in high school, thanks to some of the pedophilic educators who have made headlines over the past ten years, but in college, there are many shades of gray.

First of all, college students are of legal age to give consent. And the age gap is much smaller, especially when you throw TA’s into the picture, some of whom may still even be undergrads themselves. Still, can a romance between a professor and a student really blossom in college? Here are some factors to consider:

1. Who Makes the First Move?

It’s awkward enough following up with the cutie whose number you scored at Saturday’s Graffiti Party. If you are crushing on your professor or TA, you cross more than just the ‘friendship’ line by making a move. If he really was just giving you extra attention because you really needed extra help, then you’re going to get derailed by a freight train of anxiety after he turns you down…plus, you’ll still have to look him in the face for the rest of the semester.

The prof making the first move can be just as awkward: is he some kind of perv who hits on all the undergrads? Is he trying to use his status as your superior to his advantage? Keep in mind that a teacher hitting on a student is pretty much sexual harassment, so if Dr. Dreamboat actually makes a pass, he’s risking more than just mortification: he’s risking his job.

2. Are you on the same level?

Professors have way more life experience than we do. To be a university professor, they have to hold PhD’s and be published regularly. Not to mention have more than a few years on you. They’ve gone through the college party circuit; you haven’t. Can you really be on the same page about your torrid love affair?

You see him as older, mature, and booksmart sexy. But are you sure he doesn’t just see you as a naive, innocent schoolgirl?

3. If the Relationship is Outed, There WILL be Consequences.

Simply put: his career will be jeopardized and your academic integrity will be questioned. Who’s to say you earned those A’s, when you’ve been getting extra credit in the bedroom?

4. There May be Tension in the Classroom.

You hit on your prof and he turns you down – awkward.

You have a one night stand, and come Monday morning, you have to sit and listen to him lecture about how Eliot’s The Wasteland is a marvel of modern British Lit – awkward and boring.

You have to take notes, but all you can think about is scratching your nails down his back as he thrusted away last weekend – a little hot, but you need to focus on the notes!

You thought he actually liked you; he sees it as a one-night stand to be locked away with the other skeletons in his closet – a bruise to your ego, AND he still gets to grade your exams.

5. There are Plenty of Fish in the University Sea.

There’s a lot of wrenches that can be thrown into your education if you’ve hooked up with your professor or TA. You can’t go on public dates with your professor, or bring him to Lambda Chi’s keg party, or even cuddle with him in your dorm. So why risk all of the above by trying to be that girl? I admit, it’s a little different when you’re talking about a TA as opposed to a faculty professor, especially if the age gap isn’t too wide. But if you really feel like there’s a connection, why not wait until the semester is over, and see if anything blossoms?

In “normal” relationships, we often take things slow, so what’s the big hurry to jump in bed with a teacher? Just to play out a fantasy in real life?

I’ve had some pretty cool teachers in my life, but never pursued anything past intellectual conversation. Why? Because I liked that those professors appreciated my intellect and the hard work I put into their class. When it was time to grab some stellar reference letters, I knew I had never jeopardized my reputation with these professors, which was a plus. On the other hand, I’ve been a TA, and taught students only a couple of years my junior. Some of my students were cool as hell, and we sometimes let office hours discussions segue into semi-personal conversations (e.g. favorite music, politics, or other PG topics). Still, I never thought of them as anything more than my students, and if I continued to correspond with them after class ended, it always remained strictly platonic.

The student-professor love affair has been romanticized in books, TV shows, movies, and via word-of-mouth. Still, some things are better left to the imagination. I recommend sticking to your peers, rather than pursuing your profs.

Oh snap, Rupert Grint is sassy

Students for Concealed Carry on Campus…on Facebook

I love me some rainbow, alphabet-print, spandex onesies

Michelle Obama isn’t funny–but is she supposed to be?

Jamie-Lynn: still the more responsible Spears

I still don’t see the whole Marilyn Manson attraction

Sex and the City: not a documentary

Remember when plastic surgery was sort of taboo?

I want to be this 13-year-old when I grow up

Need a Mega Mac to start your day?…and finish it?

Many women see their backdoor as a one-way street, so to speak. To them, anal sex is more laughable than sexy and it’s understandable that they should feel that way–after all, what has popular culture told us about anal sex? That it’s funny, disgusting, painful, or the dangerous means of a deviant lifestyle.

I will concede that anal sex is funny at times, but only so much as sex as a whole is funny (which it really should be). Also, we as a society seem to need to make light of the things that make us uncomfortable, and anal sex is still very taboo culturally because of widespread misinformation and closed minds.

For instance, many people still associate anal sex with homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic, and let their ignorance about the lifestyle inform their ideas about the nature of the act. Granted, some studies have shown that sexually transmitted diseases are more easily spread through anal sex, but they are even more easily preventable if the sex is practiced safely.

For all its perceived perversion, anal sex seems to be growing in popularity. In a 2005 study by the Center for Disease Control, they found that 34% of men and 32% of women between the ages of 22-24 have anal sex with the opposite sex, up from 20% in 1990. The Guide to Getting it On also reports that 30-40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, with up to half of these continuing to do it on an occasional basis.

If you do decide to partake in anal sex, make sure you are living in a state that allows you to do so. Despite a 2003 decision by the US Supreme Court that sodomy laws were unconstitutional, 12 states (including my own state of Florida…yeah, all this information I’m offering in part two is totally anecdotal…) have laws banning outright or regulating who can have anal sex and with whom.

In fact, although the so-called sodomy law is mostly associated with anal sex, it’s implied that what is really outlawed is sexual activity that cannot lead to procreation. So, get your hands out of your pants, because that means no masturbation and, that’s right, no oral sex.

When put in those terms, I’m betting that not even the senators who voted in these laws would be able to follow them. It’s another sad example of the government or people in power trying to govern our sexuality and subvert the rights inherent to us as American citizens.

Although America isn’t the only country to have highly flawed ideas about sexuality: in 70 of 195 countries in the world consensual homosexual sex is illegal. The good news, however, is that the number of these laws are on the decline.

One adult having consensual anal sex with another only hurts other people so far as it may offend their delicate sensibilities. And they have just as much right to be offended as I have a right to have sex however I damn well please.

But I live in Florida, which means my options are somewhat limited.