He’s full of empty promises and is always “I really care about your privacy and I’m not going to show the whole world that photo of you doing naked Olympics.” Then he turns around the next day and broadcasts everything to the world with a “seriously, you’ll end up liking the fact that everyone, including your mother, knows exactly what you did this weekend. And if you don’t, then go back to that dirty heathen of a boyfriend, Myspace, and see if I care.”

And now he’s done it again. He’s introduced a Foursquare for Facebook, called Facebook Places, that takes everyone’s favorite stalker application to the next level. Not only will your friends, frenemy’s, second cousins, and co-workers be able to check into locations, but they’ll also be able to check you into locations. Apparently they’re claiming that it’s just like tagging someone in a photo because it has a detag option. Except tagging an ugly photo of me on Facebook in not equivalent to telling the Facebook community that I’m in the third stall at the Olive Garden on Grove street.

Change your privacy settings today or prepare to see your entire life ruined. Think I’m exaggerating? Just look at my Wikipedia-approved reasoning:

1. No More Lying – So you wanted to get out of your friend’s birthday dinner (because she always insists on wearing a tiara and “kiss me, it’s my birthday sash”) and made up a story about having to cram for a hugeeee test the next day. Instead you go out with some other friends to happy hour where they tag you as being at the bar. Add some photo proof to that tag and you’re about to be defriended…in real life. And that’s the least of your issues. How about the fact that you got out of your boyfriend’s great aunt’s funeral by telling a small white lie that you were really, really sick — only to be location-tagged as being at the school’s biggest tailgate party ever.

2. No More Privacy – Facebook stalking is a totally healthy part of life, real life stalking is a total calling card to spend some time in prison. The two are about to overlap pretty quickly when your stalker starts literally following you from class (because your lab partner tagged you) to the library (because your freshman your roommate spotted you across the stacks and tagged you) to Starbucks (because somehow the barista and you are Facebook friends and she’s trying real hard to be web-savvy).

3. No More Conversation Topics – Facebook has already destroyed 90% of small talk with statuses, newsfeeds, and photo albums. This latest feature will drive the nail into the coffin when your friend starts telling you about her trip home for the weekend and you stop listening because you saw that she checked in to every single place she’s mentioning…including her high school boyfriend’s basement.

4. No More Peace – Get ready for a newsfeed overload, because unlike the privacy-respecting ladies who read CollegeCandy, there are some people out there who will use Facebook Places and use it in excess. If you already thought the Foursquare check-ins were annoying, you’re about to be overwhelmed by what you’re about to learn about your friends. From their walk of shame routes to their drunken check-ins, you will know more about your friends, roommates, T.As, etc., than you ever dreamed possible.

So there you have it. It’s officially the end of privacy. Now it’s up to you whether you want to take the plunge and deactivate (social suicide) or take the risk, stay on, and act cool when your dad’s friend checks him into “Naked Ladies Who Aren’t Your Mom Strip Joint.”

Girls with tattoos get a bad rap these days. They are associated with “don’t mess with me” bad ass chicks, trashy/skanky girls, and hippie-love-child wannabes. But I want a tattoo and I am none of those things.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about permanently tagging myself, but I can’t seem to commit to it. There is so much to consider, tattoos being permanent and all, and the last thing I want is to regret my decision. Or end up with 56 stars on my face.

On the one hand, I agree with Angelina Jolie when she said, “A tattoo is something permanent when you’ve made a self-discovery, or something you’ve come to a conclusion about…and a strong reminder to live fully in the moment.” At the same time, though, I also agree with my friend’s brother who said, “Imagine getting scrunch socks tattooed on your legs in the early 90′s. Would you want that there now?”

Touch, bro. Touche.

So, let’s break down the pros and cons of the tat.

It Will Be On You Forever

The bad: Obviously, a trademark of a tattoo is that it’s permanent, which is part of both its charm and its demise. I know a girl who got an enormous tattoo on her ribcage and half of her stomach. Let’s be real here, people are living pretty damn long these days, which means stupid adages to “live fast, die fun” will be stuck on their (considerably more flabby and wrinkly) torsos for just as long.

The good: Some tattoos are chosen simply for their permanence, such as getting your significant other permanently scrolled across your arm to proclaim your everlasting love (right Johnny Depp?), or for someone you lost, a part of your heritage, or something that means a lot to you. If placed in a strategic location, who cares if something important to you is on you forever? That’s the point!

It Will Generate Attention

The bad: Let’s face it, a lot of girls with tattoos are the same people who wear shirts that say “Drink Til He’s Cute” and will likely attempt a bar fight with you for looking at her man wrong. In other words: they want people to look at ‘em. Getting butterflies, flowers or dolphins inked in a visible location (i.e. lower back) is just begging guys to stare. And judge you.

The good: Nothing screams “I am spontaneous and interesting” like a well-positioned, unique and understated tattoo. Afterball, tattoos are like stories on your body, each having an inherent meaning. I know a guy who chased after this girl simply for her little Chinese character on her lower hip because she just seemed “so much cooler than the girls he was used to.”

It Is A Work Of Art

The bad: Apparently not all tattoo artists are on the same level. I know a few people who have received bad tattoos and deeply regret them. One girl got stars tattooed right above her vajay (I know – really poor decision…) and the guy doing them totally messed up (maybe because he was so close to her vajay). But even the best tattoos can bleed or fade, leaving your beautiful looking like more of an eyesore than eye candy.

The good: Gotta love that freedom of expression. What many people forget is that tattooing is one of the oldest and most widely practiced forms of artwork. Also, tattooing an original design onto your body is an unparalleled mode of expression and can be liberating. The uniqueness and value you and others assign to tattoos is the part that matters.