Celebretard Showdown: Rachael Ray vs. Tyra Banks

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Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list. You know, like when we were choosing our favorite cupcake bakery, when we were choosing what to spend our tax refund on, or when we weren’t sure which we loved more: our Prada backpack or our Skechers.

So when are constantly faced with the awful decision of which annoying celebrity is more grating on our nerves, we make a list. Yes, this is a decision we feel the need to make on a weekly basis. We have a lot of time on our hands.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two celebs that continue to invade our lives, no matter how hard we try to avoid them: Rachael Ray and Tyra Banks. Who is makes us want to kill ourselves more? We wish we didn’t have to choose. Let’s break it down: Read More »

Candy Dish: Oprah’s Giving Away KFC!

kentucky-grilled-chickenWant some free food? (Is KFC really food?)

Maybe you shouldn’t buy that…

OMG. We can’t wait for the MTV Movie Awards!

Rest in peace, Dom DeLuise.

Welcome to the Swine Flu hotel.

Jenny McCarthy getting her own talk show? When’s it my turn!?

Candy Dish: How Is There Still Chris Brown News?

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Did a text message from Chris Brown’s manager set off the infamous fight?

Oops, someone over at American Idol made a very NSFW mistake.

Moving after graduation? Check out the top ten cities for recent grads.

Lindsay Lohan wants to share her passion for spray tan with the world.

Would you let your guy rock the man leggings?

More Real Housewives drama!

What happens when you mix a probation officer and a talk show?

Look no further, all your questions about the economy have been answered.

Are Zac and Vanessa heading down the aisle?

Looks like Jamie Lynn Spears hasn’t let motherhood slow her down.

Ladies That Will Make You LOL

amy-and-tina.jpgMen have always ruled the comedy scene. From dynamic duos such as Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and Jay and Silent Bob to teams such as the Happy Madison boys (Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Peter Dante, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson) and the Frat Pack (Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Owen and Luke Wilson and Steve Carrell).

There are virtually no female comedic ensembles who can sell movies like these guys can.

In the stand-up circuit, men generally receive the biggest reception. Recently, I went to a stand-up comedy review that featured twenty comics in one night. Of those twenty, only three women took the stage. Three. WTF?

Women are pretty damn funny, so why don’t we get the same appraisal as men get? Films like Old School put the Frat Pack on the map, while the hysterical chick flick The Sweetest Thing flopped at the box office. The Wedding Crashers cast has people rolling in the aisles, while far too many people have never seen Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, and Selma Blair sing The Penis Song.

I took this assignment to cover the 5 Funniest Women out there, but quickly realized there is just too much talent to narrow it down so far. That said, what follows is my personal list of five of the wittiest women in the world, along with some honorable mentions. I welcome feedback, comments, and nominations, because I’m sure I’ve missed some ladies that can more than keep up with the boys. Read More »

Spencer and Heidi and Tyra, Oh Crap!

I watch a lot of really bad TV, but I can proudly admit that I have never watched a single episode of The Tyra Banks Show. That bitch is crazy; I had enough of her antics on ANTM. That being said, after hearing that Speidi would be making an appearance on Monday’s episode, I searched the interwebs high and low to find a clip of their interview.

The highlights are below.

Having Heidi, Spencer and Tyra in one place should really cause the world to implode, no? That’s a whole lot of douche for one stage. I don’t even really know where to begin. Maybe with Heidi’s awful Heidiwood ensemble? Or the fact that she and Spencer have been denying for two years that they had anything to do with the tape, only to openly discuss it on national television? (Although, this is the Tyra show; it really doesn’t count.) Or when Spencer, so eloquently, discusses his distaste for watching Lauren’s alleged sex tape. Or, my favorite, when Heidi admits that she was in surgery (getting those boobs/lips/facelift) the day the rumor of the video hit the world.

These two never seize to amaze me.

And I can’t wait to see what they do next.

My Journey Into the Land of Oprah

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I don’t know if I should be embarrassed to say this, but I have a confession to make:

I love Oprah.

Like, love. Idolize, even. I think she is a phenomenal role model for women, has the best topics on her show and wears the absolutely most amazing earrings. And I would give anything (anything!) to spend one day in her shoe closet.

And yesterday, I got to go to her show!

It was like a dream come true. I have been trying to get tickets for years and, finally, my lucky day came. I didn’t know who was going to be on the show and I didn’t care; I just wanted to be in the same room as Queen Oprah. And I was!

Since Oprah tapes in Chicago, my mother and I decided to make a little mother/daughter trip out of it. We flew into Chicago early Monday morning, spent the day shopping (which, by the way, sucked because my mom was all about buying me things and we couldn’t find anything! Could there be a worse situation?), ate a deeelicious dinner and then tucked in early to get our mandatory beauty rest. After all, we would be seeing Oprah herself the next morning, not to mention the 30 million people who might see us. Read More »

Relationship “Expert” Rationalizes Cheating

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At the gym this morning I caught a segment on some talk show about cheating. Basically, the show was about agencies that helped people find out if their mate was cheating on them, and if such spy agencies were even ethical.

One of the panelists on the show was “relationship expert” and author Steve Santagati, a “former model and bad boy” who penned The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top.

I’ve caught Santagati’s TV appearances before, and each time I see his smug face on camera I can’t help but throw up a little and shake my head at all the women who actually buy anything written by such an obvious egoist.

My distaste aside, Santagati never actually said anything revolting during those appearances, so I had nothing to confirm my gut reaction—until this morning. Read More »