In college, a lot of relationships begin with “talking” which I always thought was really strange. I remember the first time I heard about it when I asked a friend if she was dating said frat guy and she said, “No, but we’re talking.” And I thought, “Well I sure hope you’re talking if you’re hooking up every night.” The term “talking” has come to mean dating-and-kind-of-exclusive-but-not-really-in-a-relationship. We live in a world where we have -ishes (those that are boyfriend/girlfriend-ish) so how do you know when you’re actually in a serious, exclusive relationship? Here are some tell-tale signs in no particular order:

1. Regular texts, phone calls, or other modes of communication: A hookup buddy is not going to text you and ask how your day is going or tell you good luck on your psychology test. If you’re with someone who is in pretty much constant communication with you, it’s a good sign that you’re actually dating.

2. Public Displays of Affection: Friends with benefits don’t hold hands, kiss or show any signs of PDA because, well, when you’re not in bed, you’re just friends. Now, some people are finicky about PDA and just won’t do it so if your guy is shy about it, that’s okay. Read More »

I’ve been looking back on my sexual history lately and I’ve realized that I’m pretty lucky. Minus one or two “off” times, I can’t say I’ve had a lot of bad sex. While I try my best not to do a lot of comparing, I think I’ve found the difference between the good times and the not-so-good times – communication.

It blows my mind how many people have sex without ever communicating to their partners about their likes and dislikes. As much as we might will it to happen, our partners aren’t mind readers. Chances are they’re going off of what worked for them in the past, what they wish you would do to them in return, or what they’ve seen in porn. While you might get lucky and it’ll do the trick, most people need a few pointers in order to really get what works for you

I know, I know, talking explicitly about sex can be a little awkward sometimes (well, I would assume it is for some people… I do it on a weekly basis so I’m kinda used to it). Not to be too blunt, but if you can’t talk about what you’re going to do, you shouldn’t be doing it. That said, I want all my readers to be getting the satisfying sex they deserve, so here’s some pointers on how to communicate effectively what you like without sounding like a dominatrix:

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There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

We say it all the time: shut up.  Sometimes you mean it (like during a particularly nasty fight with the bf) and sometimes you don’t (Clueless-esque situations of surprise and pleasure), but those two little words will always be there.  How many of us actually listen to them, though?  Have you ever actually shut up when someone told you to do so (I, for one, make it a point to talk louder/longer when someone tells me to shut up)?  Perhaps it’s time for us to listen.  Perhaps it’s time to really shut up.

Living in a single room in a new dorm this past week, I’ve learned the value of keeping my mouth shut.  I’m not unfriendly, but I’m not chatting up a storm either.  I’m trying to keep it cool and start out as the mysterious, cool and collected girl (a bit of a change from former dorm experiences…but we won’t go there).  What I’ve learned includes how to seem nice and approachable without saying a word and how to not look like a creepy loner.  In fact, I’ve enjoyed my silence so much, I’m thinking we all need to try it.  Try this on for size: reasons why you should shut your pie hole.

Work Those Eyes – If you’re not flexing those vocal cords, then you’ll probably be doing most of your communicating through your eyes.  Instead of a long-winded answer, just raise an eyebrow.   Instead of an awkward giggle and stuttering attempts at flirtation, try winking.  Simple glances and blinks become volumes of communication.  And imagine the make-up possibilities when all the attention is focused on your eyes… Read More »

Upon some recent discussion with my guy friends, I’ve come to realize that we girls may just be a little bit “too close.” I happen to be one of those people blessed with an intimate group of girlfriends, and therefore we talk about everything from the specific color name of our nail polish to the exact millisecond of how long our most recent sack session lasted.

However, upon stepping back a bit and really paying attention to what I was saying, I’ve begun to wonder if there is such thing as too much information sharing. Even if it never gets back to your guy, is it alright to share everything? Below are the key things that, looking back, I’m thinking should just remain between a lady and her man. Read More »

Dear Library People,

SHUT UP. Holy crap. If you are talking on your cell phone, talking really loudly to your best friend, or just talking because you adore the sound of your own voice so much that you can’t seem to close your mouth, for the love of God, just stop.

I don’t care if you’re doing continual stage whispers. I don’t care if you’re on the first floor, where nobody does real studying. I don’t care if the library is the only place you ever run into your old roommate, so it’s the only possible place you can catch her up on all the gossip from last weekend. I’m sorry; you are out of luck. The library is not your social scene, and I will personally come and extract you from the building if you continue to obnoxiously make noise. Read More »

Gossip and rumors are main staples on college campuses across the nation, and the website Juicy Campus (which was recently shut down), shows just how far people are willing to go to spread gossip. At some point in everyone’s life, gossip comes up – good or bad. Gossip, in moderation, can be just another thing, but in a culture that obsesses about pop culture and dishing dirt (think of websites like Perez Hilton), the fixation of dishing dirt about someone else isn’t going away any time soon.

Although many of us love to gather on Monday nights to watch Gossip Girl and watch the scandals of the Upper East Side unfold, no one likes it when their own personal life is exposed in the cafeteria over wilted lettuce or when private information rolls off the lips of classmates before the professor starts the class. While gossip may seem like something that comes and goes, it can leave its dirty scars behind all too often.

Maybe because it’s an all-women’s college and women often use each other to bring others down, or maybe it is the size of the university, but the Hollins rumor mill never seems to cease on campus. It constantly peeks its nasty little head around the corner for students that least expect it. Whether it hurts friendships, ruins reputations, or isolates students from campus events — gossip can cause tremendous damage. Read More »

We all know we’re not supposed to mention our ex-boyfriends when we’re on a first date with a new hottie. Common sense, right? An article on The Frisky puts ex-boyfriend as the #1 word not to mention as a first date. But what about the other top 4 words you’re not supposed to mention? Maybe not so obvious. Or maybe completely and sickeningly obvious. Do they really think we’re that dumb?

Coming in at #4 ion the list of words not to say on a first day is rash. You know, that skin condition you have that may have been caused by the sun, but might also have been caused by another’s bodily fluids (the forbidden ex-boyfriend, perhaps?). Oh, and it may or may not be contagious. Every guy’s dream come true! Come on, girls. If you’re talking about your rashes on a first date, I’m going to take a wager and guess that you’ve never had a boyfriend. Unless he’s the constantly sick, allergic to everything type. Read More »

“See? This is us in my living room? Isn’t he cute? He’d be so much cuter if his face wasn’t squished by my head…”

This sentence isn’t offensive on it’s own, but couple it with an hour’s worth of similar utterances, and you’ve got one of the most annoying situations in life: The Girl Who Won’t Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend.

I was recently in the presence of such a girl, and found myself silently contemplating all the ways in which I could force her mouth shut permanently.

Trying to do work around one of these female specimens is impossible. You just can’t do it. No matter how interested you try to make yourself look in whatever work is in front of you, Girl Who Won’t Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend will continually engage you in superficial drivel.

The shallow conversation she tries to engage you in will always be one-sided, however. Even though she’ll ask you questions that will keep you away from you work, she’ll routinely answer those questions herself, not having even a second to wait while you search your head for something remotely friendly to say.

Girl Who Won’t Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend usually picks single people to torture. It’s a subconscious, animal-like sense that she has about her—she can smell singleness like a shark smells bloody fish heads. Read More »