[You don't need to understand French to know how weird this whole thing is....]

No, they’re not tubes of chapstick or popsicles.  Those, ladies, are grown men dressed as tampons.  The French division of Tampax decided this was the best marketing strategy to take when pitching you their product.  Huh?  Put aside the fact that there’s a gross string hanging out the bottom of the costumes (I guess it all really is in the details), and ask what wildly misguided life choices these gentlemen made that landed them dressed as feminine hygiene products on French television and the Internet?

How are these men listing this gig on their resume?  Do they get more or less random weekend action since this campaign took off?  Would you hook up with a tampon?  And this maybe asking the obvious, but why are most of the tampons men?  Doesn’t that make the already-creepy infinitely creepier?

Le sigh.

Well, I’m here to tell you.

Disposable menstrual products are terrible for our environment and they’re terrible for our wallets, too. Why buy them if there are other options?

1. The Cup

The menstrual cup is a safe and effective replacement for the tampon that doesn’t create all the waste. It is made of rubber or silicone and worn inside the vagina just like a tampon. Cups are so safe that no health risks have been found related to their use (unlike tampons). You may never have heard of them, but this option has been on the market since 1932! It’s not the most well-known product, but many women swear by them. Brands that make them: DivaCup, FemmeCup, Keeper, LadyCup, Lunette, MiaCup, Mpowercup, Mooncup, and Softcup.

2. Reusable Pads

If babies can get away with having cloth diapers, I don’t see why women can’t get away with having cloth pads. Not only are reusable pads saving the planet and saving you money, but according to all reports I have seen, they are much more comfortable than your standard pad. Without the annoyance of bulk or allergy, these pads are simple and safe. Brands that make them: Lundapads, Glad Rags, New Moon Pads, Moon Loon Pads, Comfy Cloth Pads, EcoMenses, and plenty of others.

3. Sea Sponges

Sea sponges are another alternative to tampons. They actually come from the ocean floor and are without any synthetic materials. One sea sponge will supposedly last for about six months. All you do is dampen it and place it in the vagina the same way you would a tampon and then rinse it out about every three hours. Totally effective and totally natural. Though, not totally perfect – you can get Toxic Shock Syndrome from sea sponges the same way you can from tampons.

With so many different (and unknown!) alternatives out there, women don’t have to buy into using either brand-name tampons or brand-name pads. If you’re more comfortable with these products, that’s fine. But you should be informed about what else is out there. And you should experiment and find what’s best for you.

[Photo from: www.piquiwithmaple.com]

Heidism #1: She’s killing NYC one bar at a time

Phelps has an Entourage

Meet the cast of the new 90210 (none of which are nearly as hot as Luke “steal my heart” Perry)

Asking her out via Facebook status

Heidism #2: Joel McHale continues to be my comedy lover

Can your dude take the tampon challenge?

Reasons not to have sex

Miss Obama’s speech last night?  Read it here

Heidism #3: The only McCain VP choice that would have gotten MORE press than Palin

OMG I just watched a Panda GIVE BIRTH

These guys are NOT WELCOME in my bed

Celebs at the DNC

• Tyra Banks asks John Edwards the tough questions.

• Ryan Reynolds is hot in Santa Barbara.

• When standing under a tree of birds, keep your mouth closed.

• Off the Rack has the weeks hottest trends and onsale.

• What would David Lee Roth sound like auditioning for American Idol?

• Brangelina is pregnant with twins???

• If you haven’t heard this Brit singer-songwriter, you should.

• 10 movie vaginas even scarier than the one in “Teeth”

• What a stupid thing to do.

Your bag is an extension of your person. Well, not literally, but come on, we know all one of the hypothetical worst things that could happen to a girl is to lose her purse.

So, that’s why what you carry in your purse can either make your life even more stressful than it already is…or it can make everyday THAT much easier!

First, you need to clean it out. With school on the horizon, a fresh start is mandatory. Really it is, even if the freshness fades in a week—like you stop going to the gym, waking up early and cleaning out your bag everyday—at least you made the attempt, right?

After you rip out the gum that some how rolled out of its Orbit’s container and shake out all the loose change (now you have money for coffee!) here are the essentials that you’ll definitely find yourself needing at some point:

1. Shout Wipe. Damn the BBQ sauce from those early beer pong playing, front lawn partying campus barbeques.

2. Tampon. Enough said.

3. Don’t bring your entire wallet, unless you’re shopping. Bring your License, School ID, and Debit Card. Wrap them in necessity number 4.

4. Hair tie. Even if your hair doesn’t need wrangling…something will (see number 3).

5. Lip-gloss, stick, or balm. You never know when someone may want to plant one on you. Use whatever you dig but an online source reported in a recent study that Sixty-three percent of male respondents said they prefer to kiss women’s lips without lipstick on. And your preference?

6. Finally, besides the phone and/or iPod and other random bits of tech, be sure to have some cash on hand. Keep it away from your cards and out of your wallet and purse. A friend of mine was held up and luckily she kept a $20 in the inside of her pant pocket. Before this post turns motherly, I’ll leave it at that.

Looking for that perfect Fall bag? We reccommend: this, this, or this.

Happy Autumn!

Why did I do this? Well, two reasons. Reason A) I consider myself a hippie-at-heart. I have fun at bonfires and like to sing with a group around a guitar, enjoy spending time without shoes and could never work in an office for 8 hours. Reason B) I only applied to two colleges out of high school, and when the Ivy League didn’t accept me, I had one other option.

(I was an idiot. It’s okay. You can say it.)

Anyway, before I quickly transferred to the small, expensive, 2nd Tier liberal arts college I eventually graduated from, I spent 4 months in the company of some of the hippiest hippies I’ve ever known. We’re talking unshaven legs, militant vegans, classrooms filled with the stench of marijuana, and professors who were actually surprised when you did your work. I had a few great classes and learned to love 9 grain bread, but by October break it was painfully obvious I didn’t belong.

One of the events at Hippie College that I’ll always carry with me was the attempted conversion from tampons to menstrual cup a few girls on my floor waged on me. It’s so much better for you and the environment! They said, standing so close I could smell the patchouli they bathed in. It’s easy! Comfortable! You don’t even feel it!

They never convinced me, but were able to coerce a few other girls on the floor to try it, many of whom decided to throw away their tampons forever.

The DivaCup is the most recent “natural tampon” to hit the market. Its website claims natural menstrual cups were invented in the 1930’s, and all they’ve done is updated the model, made it “super comfortable”, and gotten it FDA approved.

“Since The DivaCup is reusable, it is very economical.” The website claims, “As well, you can feel confident that you are doing your part in environmental conservation. Landfill and pollution problems are on the rise and continue to be a worldwide concern. In 1998, 7 billion tampons and 13 billion sanitary pads and their packaging made their way into landfills and sewage systems in the USA alone!”

The plastic funnel is inserted just like a tampon, completely eliminating the need for a pad, and only has to be changed twice a day. The downside? You have to wash it out each time.

Have any of you lovelies ever tried something like this? Do you think those dread loving hippie girls really had a point? Or are you all set with your Stayfree?