Cue two naked couples, both in sexual scenarios.

Couple 1 attacks each other like wild animals, both racing to the big O.

Couple 2 takes their time, pleasing each other in various kama sutra-like positions, aiming to prolong the act of sex by channeling sexual energy and increasing intimacy, letting go of all reservations and connecting to their sexual experience spiritually before engaging in the physical.

So, which couple are you? If you’re an ordinary lover like myself, then you can probably identify with couple 1. If couple 2′s experience sounds more appealing, then the increasingly popular “tantric sex” might be of some interest to you.

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My mother (yes, my mother) once told me that if there aren’t fireworks between the sheets, it’s just not meant to be.  I immediately dismissed this advice, partly because it meant my menopausal mother was having better sex with my overweight father than I was with my supposedly sexually prime bedmate. But mostly, I rejected this theory because I didn’t, and still don’t, think its entirely true.

Sex – the good, the bad, and the ugly – where does it all fit in?

We make such a big deal about sex. It consumes us.  We lie about sex – we say we’re having less when we’re having more, and more when we’re having less. We worry about our relationship if the sex isn’t “above average.” We worry about our health, our sanity, our bodies and our worth if he simply rolls over. We use sex as a barometer for the status of our relationships when there couldn’t possibly be a less reliable, standardized or empirical indicator.

I, for one, do not believe that the caliber or frequency of the sex we’re having – or not having – is necessarily an accurate representation of what lies beneath. Now this is not to say that sex is not an important component of a relationship, because it is.  I fancy a good ole shag just as much as the next gal. What I am saying, though, is that thanks to soft core porn, (aka cable television), Megan Fox, and Cosmopolitan articles with titles like “Give Him the Best Sex of His Life” and “101 Sex Positions to Try Before You Die,” we have been made to believe that not only should we be having sex every night, but great sex every night, and this just isn’t realistic.

These fallacies also spawn a kind of sexual competition among men, women, and couples alike. “Do you guys have a swing? Where have you done it today? Have you tried the Reverse Amazon? What about the Jellyfish? The Bent Spoon?” It’s like losing your virginity automatically (and unwittingly) qualifies you for the sex Olympics and suddenly everybody’s keeping score, or being judged, or being stripped of their medals for performance enhancers. The whole world was turned upside down when Sting revealed that he has epic bouts of tantric sex with his wife on a regular basis, and women everywhere were making statements about “how lucky his wife is.” Now, I’m sorry, but I have no time to be having seven hour sex sessions; I have to eat an Italian sub, pass a bowel, and watch reality TV all before 1 p.m., so this just isn’t going to work. And quite frankly, I have no desire to play hide the canoli for four hundred and twenty minutes. Should I feel bad about that? Read More »

Don’t ask how (no, I wasn’t Googling “chair sex,” or “furniture to do it on”), but I came across this site recently and was instantly intrigued.

The Tantra Chair is used to practice the amazingness of Kama Sutra. It’s shaped like a funky wave to help position yourself properly for ultimate pleasure. Don’t know anything about Kama Sutra? Well, you’re missing out. Lucky for you, the site also has a guide to tons of fun positions to enjoy on this lovely piece of furniture. (Warning: there is some nudity…and it’s kind of graphic.)

If I had the place and the money, and – oh yeah, the boyfriend – I would definitely invest in this contraption. Kama Sutra is already saucy enough, but throwing in a new toy (or chair) to aid the process just takes it to a whole new level! And it looks like a couch so you can definitely pass it off to your parents as some piece of artsy fartsy furniture you found on Craigslist.

Doing the nasty on a flat surfaced bed is so last year. This gift from the sex gods will have you in positions you never thought possible on a futon.

Let’s talk about Twitter: To have a Twitter, or not to have one? To use it, or not to use it? And most importantly, how do you use a Twitter?

It seems like everyone’s all atwitter about, well, Twitter these days.  Started in 2006, Twitter is a “micro-blogging” service where users post status updates (called Tweets) that are limited to 140 characters, which answer the question, “What are you doing?” You can also add friends on Twitter by “following” their feeds.

But while you may be thinking, “only status updates? Just 140 characters? Why would people care what I’m doing 400 times a day? I already have a Facebook, thanks,” don’t dismiss Twitter just yet.  As a matter of fact, its beauty is in its simplicity.

People use Twitter for everything from updating their friends about their whereabouts (“at the airport- Spring Break Cancun here I come!”) to sharing breaking news and reactions to important events.  It’s actually become quite a phenomenon among journalists and media-types. Many will post links to fresh news stories or recent articles they’ve written. It’s easy because you can update Twitter from your cell phone (via text message) or instant messanger, so you can post when you’re on the go. Read More »

So, Diddy Twitters. Which comes as no surprise, since he is the most narcissistic man around. He also likes Tantric Sex, which I learned after reading his latest Twitter: Diddy is “Having tantric sex!!! I feel so much better!!! Thank you”

Diddy tends to overshare (we already know the guy likes Brazilian waxes…on himself); that I know. What I didn’t know was why his new choice of sex made him feel good enough to use exclamation points. He just doesn’t seem like an exclamation point kinda guy. I mean, the man doesn’t smile!

So, what’s the deal with Tantric sex?

According to this article, Tantric sex seeks out to “reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our birthright.” It’s all about connecting mind, body, soul, emotion, and sexuality. Tantric teachers show students how to extend their sexual peak so that partners can experience several orgasms in one session.

What. The. Eff? No wonder Diddy’s feeling great; the man is having more orgasms than I’m having Cakesters. Right now. And that’s a lot.

I can’t even experience a single orgasm in one session, and Diddy’s gettin’ multiple? And having time to Twitter?! Where do I sign up?

I’ve already started researching the ways of Tantric sex and plan on studying that stuff like I’m studying for finals. Er, um, well,  better than I would study for finals! And probably instead of studying for finals.

Thanks for oversharing, Diddy. Now I love you for more than just Danity Kane.

Walk through any mall and you will see one of two Valentine’s Day themes:

The cute and romantic: teddy bears, picture frames, jewelry

The sexy and passionate: lingerie, tantric sex books, fuzzy handcuffs

Valentine’s Day means many different things to many different people (to me, for example, it means a night to make big bucks babysitting), and every couple celebrates it differently. Some prefer holding hands over a candlelit dinner and returning home to snuggle and talk about love. Others prefer dripping hot candle wax on one another while getting frisky in the bathroom.

Which way do you prefer? Are you a naughty V-Day kinda girl, or more into the lovey dovey romantic shiz that you don’t get from your man the rest of the year?