Jersey Shore house constantly vandalized–not shocking

Rihanna shares sexy photos from recent vacation on facebook

You have to get this Papaya neon pink skirt!

DWTS brings latin flare and a bit of kissing!

Have you seen the Allure nude issue?!

Last minute tax tips, tricks and advice!

What’s that?  Online dating bootcamp!

Christina Aguilera is a hot mess and we love it

Take this quiz to see if you’re more Carrie Bradshaw or Hannah Horvath

What the hell is a 1099?!

Last week was a pretty big week for me in grown-up world. Not only did I learn a valuable lesson about why you don’t take your shoes off in bars, but I also filed out my taxes all by myself. And by all by myself, I mean with the help of an accountant who probably now thinks that my IQ borders somewhere in the high twenties.

Up until last week I thought filing taxes was as simple as creating a fake Facebook profile to stalk exes (okay…one-night stands). I fill out a slip of paper with my name, social security number, yearly earnings, bra size, favorite movies, and my vote on what color M&Ms should include next. Bada bing,  bada boom, I’m a functioning member of society.

But no. This process makes writing a 19 page paper on the causes and effects of “I only smoke when I’m drunk” look incredibly easy. First I had to fill out a million pieces of paper, then I had to track down W2′s, W4′s, 1099s, 13 Chinese take-out menus, and Colt 45s. And it’s not like I stored them all in one place.  Why would I ever do anything that would make my life less of a daily episode of Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Some were at home in Florida, some were at my grandmother’s NYC apt., some were buried 6 feet under cement in a “what? We’re making a graduation time capsule and I can choose one thing to put in? Okay, here’s some official, legal, looking documents that I doubt I’ll ever need” time capsule on the Syracuse campus.

And then after I spent a gajillion dollars (give or take a bazillion) on faxing and pigeon-carrying these papers over to the accountant, she calls me up and tells me that I’m missing 7 pages of an 8 page document. Instead of telling her the truth (I probably used those papers to mop up spilled sangria), I went with the more exciting route of straight out lying. I told her that I only received page 1 of 8 of the document. And the more she insisted that was completely impossible, the more I insisted that it was what happened. By the time I finished spinning my yarn, that now involved an alien abduction and wire tapping, she hung up on me. But not before telling me to get her pages 2-8.

9 nervous breakdowns and 67 hostile e-mails later, I finally managed to get all my paperwork in. However, it goes without saying that my accountant and I are no longer on speaking terms. I’m not sure if it was the 7 missing pages that put her over the edge, or my insistence that she just make up numbers in its place.

Either way I’m avoiding this entire mess next year with something I like to call tax evasion. It’s way easier and with the amount of money I’m making, I doubt anyone will notice.

Let's all take a moment of silence for Snookie's skin tone.

As you may or may not know, there’s a lot going down in Washington right now in regards to our health and bodies. Not only is there major debate about Obama’s health care plan, but Capitol Hill has been buzzin’ about Botox. Namely, the idea to put a tax (nicknamed “Bo-tax”) on it and other cosmetic surgeries.

That has since been vetoed (probably after all 4 casts of The Real Housewives/Joan Rivers threatened a sit-in at the White House) in favor of a new idea: adding a 10% tax to indoor tanning.

The main idea behind the new plan is for the government to make it more difficult for you to feed your potentially cancerous addictions (much like cigarettes) by doing what the government does best: taxing.

Needless to say, orange people nationwide are up in (leathery) arms!

But while this is less than ideal for those people who make a living off of baking pasty clients (especially in this economy), I’m totally in support of it. Tanning is super dangerous! And even more, the world can do with a few less Snookies walking around.

Now if only the government could somehow tax the Jersey Shore poof or eradicate the Bump-it; I’m sure those are changes we can all get behind.

In reality, I’d love to take my refund check and spend it in one go at the mall, especially since warm weather means I have to chuck my so-worn-they-belong-in-the-What-Not-to-Wear-dumpster sweater boots, and I don’t have ANY cute flip flops to wear in their place.  But, since I’ve been struggling all winter, I am going to use this money wisely.  And by use “wisely,” I don’t necessarily mean put it back into the bank.  We all deserve to splurge every now and then, and here are some of the best guilty pleasures your tax refund can buy.

1.  Upgrade your phone.

Am I the only campus coed who has never known the joys of an iPhone or Blackberry?  I recently lost my cell in a drunken stupor, and, though I had been waiting for the summer to upgrade, I figured it’s now or never.  Best buy of my life.  I got a refurbished 16-gig iPhone for under $250.  And it’s not just a phone– I can check the weather without getting out of bed or waiting for Weather.com to load on my slow-ass computer, I can check my email for last minute class cancellations while on my way to a lecture, and once I figure out these apps, I’m pretty sure I can load a calorie counter onto my phone to use in the dining hall.  How did I live without this baby?

2.  Buy a new wardrobe.

I don’t mean a new Juicy Couture bikini or strappy Jessica Simpson open-toed heels, but if you’ve got some extra cash coming your way, it’s not a bad idea to spend on some new work attire.  When you’re strapped for cash, it’s hard to shell out on a business suit for an interview you haven’t scheduled yet, but when you get a check for a few hundo in the mail, there’s no time like the present to invest.  That sleek blazer might land you the job interview, and that knee-length pencil skirt will make a great first impression when you start your new job.  Which of course will lead to earning more money, which you can then spend however you see fit.

3.  Embark on a summer journey.

Note that I did not say summer vacay. I’m not writing off putting this moolah towards a cruise–you totally deserve it– but there are other ways to travel this summer.  Use your tax refund to see the world while you build your resume by signing up for a summer abroad course or a volunteer program.  Spending the whole summer abroad will probably still cost a lot of money, but look into a week long intensive program in Europe, or check out programs like Habitat for Humanity or Teach for America.  Usually, these volunteer programs will house you, but you’ll have to foot the travel expenses.  If you can afford to get there, you’ll be rewarded with new friends, memories that last a lifetime, and an fabulous bullet on your resume.

4.  Get active.

Get physically active, socially active, or mentally active, and watch a relatively small investment go a long way.  Get private lessons in an area that you’ve always wanted to excel in, such as art lessons or vocal lessons.  Try out a personal trainer for a month, or get a year-long gym membership.  Buy a set of instructional yoga videos.  Doing something for yourself doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty later.  If you splurge on something you couldn’t otherwise afford, but it reaps a positive outcome, it can create a domino effect in your life.  By losing a few pounds (without really trying), you may double your wardrobe if you’ve kept some of last year’s suddenly-too-small jeans.  By de-stressing, you could add years to your life.  By getting better at something you could add to your appeal in the career field.  Spoil yourself now, and you’ll be doubly rewarded.

5. Eat gourmet.

Don’t go to Chez Expensif and order a $100 entree, but treat yourself to more from the grocery store than just store brand Mac n Cheese and cans of tuna.  Buy the ingredients to try that recipe your grandma passed down– that from-scratch casserole that calls for a pinch of this and a dash of that, stuff you have to buy a whole bottle of because you don’t carry ‘this’ and ‘that’ on the regular.  Buy fresh or organic products that usually make you salivate but that are never on sale.  You shouldn’t have to put a price on eating healthy, but when fresh fruit costs several bucks a pound, it’s easy to veer towards the greasy Dollar Menu when you’re paying with the change you just found in your couch cushions.

These are just a few examples of how spoiling yourself can come with advantages– and why it’s okay to blow through your tax refund.  Of course, depending on your financial situation, you may be opting to pay off your credit card bill, send in your rent check on time, or simply stash the cash in your savings account.  We do all deserve a break from time to time, however, so I hope however you’re spending your extra cash, it makes you happy.  So… what ARE you going to buy with the dough the IRS coughs up to you this spring?

1. You learn your body, what you like and what you don’t like.
2. Masturbation is good for your health.
3. Everyone needs a little stress release at the end of (or during) a long day.
4. A vibrator won’t get you preggers when you feel the sudden need for a Big O.
5. They feel good. Really good.

Convinced? Great, because Babeland is giving everyone a chance to nab a vibrator tax-free today! We get taxed for everything from our books to our clothes, and those sex fiends over at Babeland don’t think we should get taxed on our orgasms.

Hop on over to their website and choose your new BFF from their giant supply. Is the pure wand the toy for you? Or are you more of a Gigi kinda gal?

Maybe you’re both!
Stock up now before the day is over and your self-induced orgasms are taxed once more. We know we will definitely be adding this to our  Tax Refund Shopping List…

Personally, I have some big money coming my way. At first I was just planning on making it rain, but then I realized that spring is coming and there are lots of magnificent things out there that I can spend this new dinero on. Below are just a few of the things I’m drooling over right now.

Shop on, Tax Refundees. And if you’ve got your eye on a must-have Tax Refund splurge, share it in the comments. We’ve got money to burn, baby!

A guide to makeup brushes.

Get a freaking room, Speidi!

Need to file taxes?

Sad ending for Angels pitcher.

Joe the Plumber (possibly related to Joe Six-Pack) left the debate looking good – or at least looking important. Whoever this guy is, the candidates sure care a lot about him.

Joe began to take the stage when the debate turned to finicky economic issues – in other words, are these cranky, vote-grubbing politicians actually going to do anything for us, the average American citizen who plans on buying their own business?

Obama’s run-in with Joe bit him in the butt when McCain called him out on his tax proposals; previously, whenever McCain or Palin tried to bust the Democratic candidates on taxes, they had a strong parry: “95% of Americans won’t see a dollar of raised taxes.” Joe the Plumber gave McCain some ammo – here, some dude who just wants to pursue the American dream will, in fact, be affected by the Obama tax plan.

McCain insisted that Obama was planning to “redistribute the wealth” – a big no-no, apparently, and a phrase that McCain used about four million times in the next few minutes.

Of course, Obama didn’t take all this lying down – he fired back that he was giving Americans the tax breaks they really need, and always have needed. In other words, if Joe the Plumber’s clients had more tax breaks, they’d be doing better off and therefore so would Joe. Personally, I just want to know what Joe thinks.

Aside from Joe’s new celebrity status, the debate featured a lot more fire and brimstone from the Republican half of the table. McCain is trailing in the polls, and the results were clear: he was more interested in fighting than Obama, and took a host of shots at the Democratic candidate. He blasted Obama for being weak on confronting his own party, dogged him about his judgment regarding (who else) ACORN and Ayers, and at one point turned directly to Obama to insist “I am not George Bush.”

Strong as his attacks were, though, McCain didn’t manage to level an uphill playing field. Obama spent most of the night playing defense, but in his case, that’s fine – he’s got the breathing room, with an 8% lead in CNN’s Poll of Polls. He didn’t add much to the information we’ve already seen in the last two debates, but perhaps he doesn’t need to; as the election draws closer, post-debate polls are showing increasing numbers of voters enthusiastic about Obama’s ability to lead on both domestic and foreign issues.

Of course, there’s still time left; McCain needs to pound home every swing state in the country to secure the win, but it’s possible. Though Obama has the edge now, there’s no telling how election day will turn out, especially if Russians or alien centipedes invade. Barring either of those circumstances, you’ve got two duties ahead of you, readers: get informed, and vote.

We knew something good would come out of tonight’s debate.

With the infamous Iowa caucus and the first Primaries (in New Hampshire, if you haven’t been paying much attention) out of the way, the 2008 election is on. Not that it wasn’t really on before – I couldn’t open a web page or turn on the radio without hearing something about Obama, Hillary or Huckabee – but we have officially entered a new phase. And things are about to get serious.

Welcome to Primary Season, the time when we get out and vote for the candidate we want representing our party in the run for the Oval Office. This might seem completely boring/unimportant- ”who the hell is this Barack Obama character, anyway” to you, but it is quite the opposite.

There are currently a slew of Democratic and Republican candidates traipsing across the country in attempts to become our next President. Only one of each will have the opportunity to go for the gold. And only one will actually take it.

And, might I remind you, the man or woman who finally moves into the White House in 2008 is completely up to us. Yes, even you.

I know that discussing politics is not the top priority of many college students. What with more important topics like class, partying and reality TV, who even has the time? But it should be; especially now.

As adults who will be entering the work force sometime in the next four years, this election will affect you most. You will soon be paying income taxes, purchasing health insurance and buying your first home, which, among others, all happen to be major topics for the candidates right now.

You may not need to think about these things right now, but the President elected in 2008 will have a huge impact on your life in the not-so-distant future. Sitting back and letting this election (and even the Primaries!) pass you by could come back and haunt you down the road.

Which is why I ask – beg, even – that you start talking politics now. Ask the important questions, research the candidates and educate yourself on the topics and issues that will affect you most. Watch the news, read it online or listen to it on the radio; anything to stay on top of what is going on with our country.

The election is upon us and it is time to get involved. Don’t know where to start? Try these sites on for size:

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/candidates/

http://news.yahoo.com/elections

Or any of the candidates own sites (find em on Google or Myspace)