Every week, I provide you with a list. No, not a grocery list, to-do list or even a bucket list like our friends over at “The Buried Life.” It’s simply a list of ten things that are relevant, whether it’s to my life (like living with dudes), your life (packing on the poundage), or something that the media just won’t shut up about (COUGH Tiger Woods COUGH).

Yesterday, after going through the multiple heart attacks during the USA/Canada gold medal hockey game (that the USA took into overtime in the last 24 seconds of the game!!), I began to think of all the ways that America is far superior to our upstairs neighbor. You know, since we proved that hockey wasn’t one of them. And I was bitter. And angry. And inhaling a tube of cookie dough to cool down….

Okay Canada, you may have taken the gold in hockey, have national healthcare, legal drinking at 18 and some pretty awesome strip clubs night clubs. Now let me just give you ten golden reason why America is much, much better than our hat.

10. We have Florida, they have Nova Scotia.
Seriously, is there anywhere warm in Canada? Miami is so much better than any place Canada has to offer.

9. We say “about” properly
Aboot? That’s what I do after I drink too much Cuervo.

8. The American dollar is worth more!
By five cents!

7. None of that “Eh” nonsense.

6. Avril Lavigne.
Way to go Canada, thanks for Sk8er Boi. I really appreciate that.

5. The metric system.
32 degrees is FREEZING, not warm.

4. Their flag is stupid
What the eff is that about? A maple leaf? Seriously? I can’t think of anything more uninspired. Plus, everyone knows the best maple syrup comes Vermont or Aunt Jemima, which are both clearly AMERICAN.

3. Their national anthem is stupid
“O Canada”? Are you kidding me? Change that shiz to “Blame Canada,” like now.

2. Jack Bauer.
America has him. Canada does not.

1. Dammit Canada, I really wanted to hate you. After that hockey game, I really did. But then I remembered all my pre-21 year old days of traveling up north and getting legally wasted at 19, all the French, the healthcare, Jim Carrey, Le Chateau, Quebec, Montreal, Pam Anderson, ketchup chips, Terrence and Phillip and pretty much everything that rules. Sigh. The gold is all yours, you Canuck bastards.

American snowboarded Shaun White had already won gold before his final run on the half-pipe.

His first attempt earned him the highest score of the competition, so White had nothing to lose. But the red-headed sensation gave it his all and performed his Double McTwist 1260, a move he perfected in secret on his own private half-pipe.

“This was unlike any season I’ve had,” White said after repeating as the Olympic champ. (He won gold in the 2006 Torino games as well.)

Didn’t see it? Watch the video (and insane flip) right here!

As the winter months keep on keepin’ on, there is a little event that turns snow, ice, and cold into something beneficial: The Winter Olympics.

OK, I know what you’re thinking: the Winter Olympics could never hold a candle to the excitement of Beijing in 2008, or any summer games for that matter. Even if figure skating is pretty fun to watch, we also have to sit through Curling, Bobsledding and the Biathlon. Snore.

But what choice do we have? We’re already down Gossip Girl and Glee, and with the Olympics running for 2 weeks on NBC, there won’t be anything else to watch except guys in spandex speeding down a frozen water slide.

We need something to watch for and we need something now.

Luckily, no matter the sport, the Olympics always provide one thing we can all appreciate: hot pieces of well-toned man meat. We already know we’ll be watching Short-Track Speed Skating (which we didn’t really know existed until now….) to root on American hottie, J.R. Celski, and now I’m bringing you just a few more reasons to tune into (and enjoy) the 2010 Winter Olympics.

If this doesn’t make you proud to be an American, I don’t know what will. Let’s just hope all this hotness doesn’t affect the ice. And although you may never come across these hotties on slopes, you’d be surprised at the selection out there, so get stylin’ winter sports gear and hit the snow!

J.R. speed-skated his way to my heart. OMG, did I just write that?

Half Filipino.
Half Polish.
One hundred percent heartthrob.

Let’s talk J.R. Celski.

He’s single, he’s 19-years old, and he’s an amazing short track speed skating sensation competing for Team USA in the Vancouver Olympics. And he’s officially your reason to tune in!

J.R. has been skating since he was a mere three years old when his parents gave him Playschool roller skates for his birthday (I can’t even remember what I got for my third birthday – cake, maybe?). Since then, he’s been dedicating his life to skating, but it wasn’t until he found out about speed skating on ice in 2002 that he realized this was a passion not to be joked around with. So he swapped his wheeled skates for some 17 ½ inch blades, moved from the roller rink to the ice rink, and thus began his journey to the Olympics. And boy, has it been quite an adventure.

J.R.’s hard work and focus has allowed him to win several medals, including a recent silver at the World Championships. Then, in September 2009, he finally got the opportunity he had been waiting for his whole life: a chance to compete in the Olympic trials. He was doing a phenomenal job and then, just like that, he slipped and slammed into the unforgiving wall surrounding the rink. The whole room was stunned into silence as blood gushed out of his left thigh, where his right skate blade had deeply immersed itself.

Regardless of his gruesome injury, J.R. had gained enough points to win an impressive overall silver medal in the Olympic trials. This qualified him as one of the five swift speed skaters to make the men’s short track team. Although some were doubtful of a successful recovery in time for the Olympics, J.R.’s optimism brought him weeks ahead of schedule. He is currently heavily training in Salt Lake City and is more than ready for what’s to come. What a trooper!

Anyone else might have given up after such a horrific event, but J.R. stands out from the pack. He has a clear-cut goal, a determined mindset, and an unbreakable spirit. Despite fierce competition in his short track events, the world needs to watch out for this charming cutie – he’s the next big thing! Naturally, we grew quite fond of J.R. (and not just that adorable hair), so we begged and pleaded with his people to let us talk to him. Here’s what he had to say:

5 Questions We Ask Everybody:

1. What is the most trouble you have ever gotten into?
Ummmm, wow. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever been that much in trouble before! My parents didn’t really go too hard on me when I did something wrong. I try to be a good kid.

2. What are the 5 things you cannot live without?
My family (mom, dad, 2 brothers, and sister-in-law), friends, music, skates, and my golf bag.

3. What is your motto or advice you live by?
“If you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way. And if you don’t, then you’ll find an excuse.”

4. What is your favorite song to sing while you’re in the car/in the shower/ at karaoke?
Oh man. I like so many different artists; it’s so hard to choose. Probably, “Just Friends,” by Musiq Soulchild.

5. Finish this sentence: 10 years from now, I will be…
Oooh, I don’t even know! How about, I will be a successful person!

5 Things You Probably Really Want to Know About J.R., plus a bonus question!

1. When you go into competition, what’s going through your head?
Well, it depends on what competition you’re going into. I just had my first Olympic trials, and going into that one, it was either a ‘make it or break it’ situation. That was a little bit stressful. But, going into that competition I was at the top of my game and I made sure that I had a spot on the team.

2. Tell me about your accident.
Well, I could talk about this all day because it’s been my life for the past couple of months. It was an experience because I’ve never been through anything that dramatic before. I mean, looking down at my leg cut open during Olympic trials and knowing that my family was there watching, my dreams were kind of shattered. It just wasn’t a very good situation to be in. But I had to fight. I know that most athletes that are trying to be great at what they do have some kind of accident that they have to overcome. I kind of looked at it like that and took it step by step through rehab. I told myself that I would be able to come back from this. I want to be a good athlete and in order to do that, I have to overcome obstacles. I just looked at it like it happened because it was meant to happen.

3. It’s been said that after the Olympics, you will be attending University of California-Berkeley. (His major will be Business Management or International Relations!) Do you think you’ll still be training while you’re there?
I haven’t figured that out yet. I’ll definitely be staying in shape, but I don’t know. I might compete next year. I just really wanted to take this opportunity, because I got accepted and I don’t want to throw that away. I just want to focus and do that for a little bit. I’m kind of nervous though, especially going to a school like Berkeley.

4. You start your day at 6:45 am and train until 6pm. Being such a busy person, what is your dating life like? Do you ever have time for relationships?
I mean, I’m not going to block girls out from my life. If someone came along and I was interested, then of course I’d take the opportunity. I guess I’m pretty picky – I don’t have a lot of time. Training is like a full time job, but there’s always time. It’s not different from a college kid’s schedule, in term of relationships.

5. You said you’re picky – what do you look for in a girl?
Oh, that’s a good question. I haven’t been asked that in a long time – why are you pressuring me?! Let’s see, one that is independent, open-minded, tries hard at whatever she wants to do, and has goals and dreams. I like optimism.

6. I’m optimistic. Er….I mean…moving on. Just for fun – do you think you’re a sensitive or tough guy?
I am actually a pretty emotional kind of guy; I’m not going to lie. I’ve always been. I find that holding feelings in will make you break some day. I like to be open about how I feel and I hope that whoever I’m with is the same way. I mean, I keep my head down and really bite down when I’m out training and I don’t get very emotional for skating. But, everything else, like my personal life, I’m pretty open.

Watch J.R. skate for Team USA in February during the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics! Check out his schedule to see when he’ll be competing. Good luck, J.R.!

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Nothing beats a night of chillin’ with my boys (and girls), catching a b-ball game, and having a beer. Ok, I take that back. There is one thing that beats it and that is when the Denver Nuggets are playing and my eyes are trained on the moves of Carmelo Anthony.

This man could turn anyone into a basketball fan.

Right now, Melo’s sitting pretty awaiting the start of the Western Conference NBA Semifinals, but he’s had an illustrious basketball career thus far. After leading the Syracuse Orangemen to an NCAA National Championship his freshman year in 2003, Melo went pro with the Nuggets. And though the small forward has helped Denver make the playoffs each year during his NBA career, this is the first season in which they’ve made it past the first round.

If things are heating up on the court, you know they will be in the bedroom…

Oh, and did I mention Melo is a two-time Olympic medalist?  He brought Team USA to the medal podium in Athens in 2004 (for a bronze) and last summer in Beijing when they won the gold. Are those Olympic medals in his pocket or his he just happy to see me?

It’s clear that Anthony has been really effin’ successful, so it’s no wonder he’s engaged to MTV VJ, La La. The two had a son in 2007, but they’ve apparently been engaged since 2004. After five years, what’s the wait? Maybe he’s sick of her courtside outbursts? Maybe he can ponder his options with a little road-game effing. Next time you’re playing the Knicks, Melo, give me a call!

[So, tell me. Who are some of the guys you wanna eff?]

Since nothing makes me hungrier than watching other people exert themselves, I’ve devised the perfect Olympics Dinner. It’s Team USA themed, scores a 10 in the taste factor, and is relatively easy to make. Join me in celebrating athleticism with decidedly non-heathly food, won’t you?

Go Team USA! Dinner:

All American Hamburgers:

2 stalks of celery

2-3 pads of butter

Ground meat (enough to serve 4)

1/4 cup breadcrumbs

1 ounce package McCormick gravy mix (or some other kind)

Preheat your oven to 400F

In a skillet, saute your celery for about 5 minutes. Remove from heat

Take out a bowl and combine the celery, the breadcrumbs, the gravy mix, and the meat

With the rest of your butter, brown your 4 burgers on one side in the skillet (2-4 minutes ish)

Put your burgers in the oven for about 15 minutes

Take those babies out, put them on toasted buns, and fix ‘em up the way you like!

Freedom Fries

3-4 Yukon Gold potatoes

2 tablespoons olive oil

salt / pepper / dried rosemary and thyme

Preheat your oven to 425F

Spread oil on a large baking pan

Wash your potatoes, peel them, and cut them into fry strips

Salt, pepper, rosemary and thyme your potatoes to taste

Put them in the baking pan, on the lower rack in your oven, for 40 minutes

Turn them over halfway through and cook until golden brown and delish

George Washington’s Favorite Individual Apple Pies

(this recipe is courtesy of Recipezaar)

Ingredients

1 (17 ounce) package puff pastry

12 ounces cut up red baking apples (approx. 2 medium sized apples)

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

2 teaspoons flour

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1 beaten egg

Directions

Thaw puff pastry according to directions on package

Peel, core and chop apples up coarsely

Combine apples with sugar, flour, lemon juice, cinnamon and nutmeg

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Flour surface lightly and cut pastry sheet into nine 3×3 squares.

Place approximately 1/4 cup apple mixture on each square and brush edge with beaten egg.

Place second pastry square on the top of the already filled pastry to form a pocket.

Press down border with fingers to seal and then press with fork to decorate the edges.

Make a 1-inch L shape incision into each pie and fold back the pastry flap.

Place on ungreased cookie sheet and give each one an egg wash.

Bake for approximately 20 minutes or until golden.

[This meal is best enjoyed while watching the shot put. Just kidding. Nothing is best enjoyed while watching shot put. Most boring summer Olympic sport EVER]

Did you know the Olympics start tonight?

I can’t imagine how you would have any idea. It’s not like there has been a billion commercials/news stories/a total media frenzy surrounding the event.

I guess I am sorta excited; lord knows the Summer games are far more exciting than the random ice events (bobsledding? curling?) of the Winter Olympics. I love watching the gymnastics and diving – those people are amazing. Oh, and of course swimming is super exciting, what with Michael Phelps – a fellow Wolverine – dominating the pool.

But the rest is just sorta boring. Why would I care if the U.S. had the best fencers? And who really feels pride in knowing their country can row the fastest? What do the Olympics have to offer that is worth getting out of the pool early to watch?

How about hot guys?

I know, I know; the Olympics are all about strength, agility and lots of hard work. They are about bringing the world together in a little “friendly” competition. They are about finding the world’s best athletes and celebrating them. But, come on, what’s wrong with watching for a little eye candy?

So, I scoured the internet to find the hottest US athletes. Something that I, as an American Woman, can be proud of. If you couldn’t think of a reason to watch the games, I found you 12. Grab some snacks and settle in; you are not gonna want to miss a thing.

Brad Vering

Sport: Wrestling

This wrestler is a little shorter than my taste, but he looks damn good in that spandex jumpsuit (yes, even with the blood) and I can only imagine what kind of moves he can bring to the bedroom. Pin me, Vering.

Dave Boudia

Sport: Diving

He’s a baby – only 19 – but how cute is that smile? And that itty bitty Speddo? And those muscles? Diving is my favorite summer Olympic sport and Boudia just makes me more excited to watch.

David Oliver

Sport: Track and Field

Not only is this fine specimen of American beef one sexy dude, but he is even hot when he’s sweaty! (No pun intended.) And the guy is fast. I’m just looking forward to seeing him jump hurdles in those little running shorts. Rar.

Deron Williams

Sport: Basketball

He plays professional basketball for the Utah Jazz. He’s tall, successful and will be representing the USofA. That’s hot.

Darold Williamson

Sport: Track and Field

There is nothing sexier than ambition …. paired with arms like that. Run, Darold, run.

Jason Rogers

Sport: Fencing

It is a shame that helmets are required during Fencing. How can you expect me to watch if I can’t see that face?!

Demetrius Andrade

Sport: Boxing

Tall, lean and muscley. I normally don’t condone men beating each other up, but I think I can make an exception for this guy. Do you think he can wear a Speedo, too?

Nathan Adrian

Sport: Swimming

He may not be as well-known as Phelps, but he definitely takes the Gold in the looks competition.

Nicholas Symmonds

Sport: Track and Field

Midwestern charm mixed with some powerful legs (second fastest 800 meter on American Soil…ever) makes Symmonds one hot athlete to watch this year.

Robby Ginepri

Sport: Tennis

Those arms. That 5 o’clock shadow. Man, I love tennis.

Steven Lopez

Sport: Taekwondo

Not only does Lopez look goooood and know how to kick some ass, but he also loves Chocolate Molten Lava Cake. Um, perfection? Yes

Scott Parsons

Sport: Kayaking

I have never been one for boating (unless it’s a Yacht), but that all changed when Parsons got in the game. What I wouldn’t give to be that paddle right about now….

Which Olympian makes you sweat?