Cue two naked couples, both in sexual scenarios.

Couple 1 attacks each other like wild animals, both racing to the big O.

Couple 2 takes their time, pleasing each other in various kama sutra-like positions, aiming to prolong the act of sex by channeling sexual energy and increasing intimacy, letting go of all reservations and connecting to their sexual experience spiritually before engaging in the physical.

So, which couple are you? If you’re an ordinary lover like myself, then you can probably identify with couple 1. If couple 2′s experience sounds more appealing, then the increasingly popular “tantric sex” might be of some interest to you.

Read More »

I don’t need to tell you what a whore is.  In fact, you have probably already seen the bottom half of her ass sticking out of her way-too-short “dress.”  She’s the one slurring her words at the club or messing around in the upper bedroom at the house party. We all know what she is (not) wearing and whom she has slept with. Now the more important question is: how do we avoid being her?

The difference between the girl with a remarkable man and the girl with a remarkable number of STDs manifests itself in a woman’s character. Of course too much cleavage and sexual activity can also play into this realm of whoredom, but these aspects are not nearly as important as how a sexy woman carries herself. To be sexy (and not whore-y), a woman has to be filled with playfulness, sexual entendres/innuendos, and mystery. In short, she must master the art of the tease.

Mastering Playfulness:

A tease doesn’t need to rock a mid-drift and sky-high heels to get attention. (She gets too much of it already.)  Instead, she gains and maintains a man’s attention through extreme amounts of playfulness. This can take place in numerous scenarios. Simply by turning her body, making eye contact, and smiling, she has already made the first move.  If the man has enough guts, he will approach her. It’s just that simple.

After obtaining a man’s interest, a tease walks the fine line between approachable and unobtainable. Think: “Sure you can flirt me, but that doesn’t mean you’re going home with me.” This can be accomplished through coy behavior and the right amount of provoking. Put him down a little. Make harmless fun of him. Warning: it is important to do this about meaningless topics (like his favorite football team or love for girlie martinis, not his baby beer gut or the way his ears stick out), maintain a smile, and keep an “I’m just kidding,” attitude the entire time. The goal is not to piss the guy off, but to encourage him to play along.

You’re from Italy? Oh, you know what they say about Italians, don’t you?

[These are best played with a little push or nudge to add physical contact.] Read More »

Yeah, not gonna happen. Thanks.

Sometimes, against our better judgment, we put ourselves in situations that we would rather not be in. Whether it’s too much flirting or too much tequila, sometimes we send mixed signals. One thing leads to another, hands are creeping towards places we don’t want them to go and we realize it’s time to put the breaks on. We need to say no.

Sometimes this is easier said than done. Sometimes there’s that “point of no return,” where it’s just awkward to stay stop – even though no one should ever do something sexually they’re not comfortable with. So, what’s the solution?

For starters, avoiding situations where things can get carried away is a good place to start. Don’t go alone somewhere with someone who you don’t want to fool around with — into a bedroom at a party, for example. Limiting the chances of unwelcomed advances in awkward/private situations, and setting very clear boundaries before getting into that kind of predicament is a pretty good idea too. Saying something along the lines of “I’m only comfortable with _________” or “I’m only going to ___________ with you” is both fair and assertive enough to get the point across. Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (like, Is there something better out there?!) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Hey Dude,

So I kind of have this thing where I don’t like to sleep with guys unless I’m in a relationship. Let me preface this by saying I have no problem messing around and hooking up, making out, and so on, with random guys until a relationship comes into the picture. Here’s my problem: after 5 or 10 minutes of hooking up I always end up just bailing on the guy and making some lame excuse to leave. I can’t tell whether or not it’s me just being bored of kissing and frustrated that I wont be having sex, or me being insecure that all he really wants to do is have sex and I know I won’t be giving that to him so what’s the point of continuing to make out? Won’t it just bore him or be a tease?

Is it wrong for me to assume that the guy is only interested in sex and wants me to do more than kissing? What should I do? Should I just stick it out and make out for half an hour or am I just being a tease? Any tips?

–Frustrated with Foreplay Read More »

There are few topics in a relationship that cause more controversy than strip clubs. Many of us can’t understand why our man would need to watch some other girl strip it off and shake her ass in his face when he can have our naked ass in his face whenever he wants it (for free, I might add).  And isn’t watching some other girl get naked a form of cheating? He wouldn’t like it if I let some random dude come over and rub his crotch in (or on) my face for $5.

So why do guys do it? And what is the appeal of having some girl rub her boobs on him if he has to stick a few bucks in her panties to do so? I haven’t spent much time in strip clubs, so I turned to someone who does. Frequently. And loves it.

Here is the strip club lowdown from a dude who knows it (very) well. Read More »

The allure of the “tease” has long driven men shamefully crazy. The fishnets on the librarian. The black bra through the shirt. The lace underwear he can see when you bend over. This concept is the functioning force behind burlesque, perfume ads, and even your little black dress.

The tease, in my opinion, may very well be the purest form of foreplay.

So why not participate in some online foreplay? Everything else these days is online. You trust your bank account online. Your private emails. Your social security number. So why not your sexy legs?

I’m not saying that you need to go off and buy a “(your name)inherunderwear.com” domain. However, if you’ve got an appetite at all for building on sexual chemistry between yourself and someone else, why not restructure your approach to the traditional tease? Lets face it: nothing else is traditional anymore, so this doesn’t need to be, either.

Far too many girls, in my opinion, really need to sort out their bunched up panties over matters like this.

DEAR GIRLS WHO ARE AFRAID OF SENDING YOUR DESIRED OTHER SEXY PICTURES OVER THE INTERNET: Read More »

If overhyping network premieres were communicable diseases, then last night’s Heroes premiere was a severe case gonorrhea.

Hayden Panettiere looked cute, and her new boy-toy is a little too metrosexual for my tastes – but I am not one for judging. No Ali Larter …tear…but plenty of whiny super heroes. To make matters worse, the creepy-old-gay-asian guy for Star Trek is dead? Hello…can I have a double serving of disappointment?

Here is my issue, if you are going to end the season with a huge hoopla, AND promote the “revolutionary premiere” – do NOT serve up some screen writers first draft at character development and plot setups for the rest of the season. When I saw the Mexican brother and sister, I was kind of banking on them pulling some Wonder Twin power action and blow some shit up…nope…none…nada… Read More »