This morning on Good Morning America, hypocrite Bristol Palin discussed her plan to push an “abstinence-only” message on teens. She couldn’t quite explain how abstinence got her where she is today (with, ahem, a child at age 18), but she was very confident that “abstinence is the only way you can effectively, 100%, prevent pregnancy.”

Props to B. Palin for that brilliant realization (and for basically admitting being a mom sucks), but since, as she said herself just weeks ago, “abstinence is unrealistic,” why don’t we figure out a more-um-successful way to stay child-free, while still satisfying our libidos.

Enter: Birth Control!!

Crazy, right? This stuff comes in all sorts of forms: patches, IUDs, condoms, looking at teen mothers trying to care for their kids and realizing how much less fun life would be with a child… Oh, and the pill, which, when taken correctly (not a difficult feat to accomplish if you can swallow a pill), is 99.9% effective. Certainly more effective than preaching abstinence…and then having unprotected sex with your hockey playing boyfriend in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. And most of the pills now come in pretty packaging! (Yaz has a tidy blue suede case with fun stickers that help you stay on track and turn birth control into a fun craft project).

Of course, we all (should) know that hormonal contraception doesn’t prevent against narsty STDs, so, unless you and your sex-bud have been tested and are exclusively hookin’ up, please use condoms too! I can tell you from looking at some pretty graphic books that Syphilis ain’t pretty. Neither is abandoning your education to raise a child on welfare and food stamps. So instead of shooting moose, go get yourself some nooky. Because, like Ms. Bristol once said, not getting any is just “unrealistic.”

Just remember to pop that very important pill first.

[There are some women out there that we just can’t get out of our minds. No, we aren’t switching teams - yet - but we do have some serious crushes on some pretty fierce females. These ladies are all special in their own right and we aren’t ashamed to tell the world we love them.]

Ever since her role in Juno, I’ve had an unhealthy crush on Ellen Page.

While she’s not as mainstream as our past girl crushes, this doesn’t make her any less deserving of the title.  In fact, it makes me love her more. My fellow Canuck obviously has talent – she was, after all, nominated for an Oscar.  She may not have won, but she was the fourth youngest actress to be nominated for the role, and that in itself is pretty darn impressive.

And the movie was awesome. I don’t know one person who can say they saw Juno and didn’t fall instantly in love with it. Ellen played the main character perfectly and even showcased her vocal skills on the soundtrack, which is as good (if not better) than the movie. Sure, the movie sparked controversy – being all pro-teen pregnancy and all – but that’s not Ellen’s fault. Maybe people should teach their kids about sex before they let them watch movies like this. Or watch Bristol Palin on TV.

But I digress. Back to my love, Ellen Page.

Surprisingly, this isn’t the first or only movie Ellen has been in.  She totally kicked ass AND saved the day in X-Men: The Last Stand before she took on her dad’s new girlfriend while acing her SATs in Smart People.  She’s also been in Hard Candy, The Tracey Fragments, and An American Crime. Her next project is Whip-It, which is directed by Drew Barrymore. Two power girls on one project? Sounds like a winner to me. Read More »

Bristol Palin sat down to for her first interview since having her son in December and, true to Palin form, it was a little hard to sit through. I realize that it’s hard being a teenager. It’s hard to balance school, work, friends, family, and, um, baby daddies, but really, Bristol didn’t do a great job of convincing us she is mature enough to be a mother. She seemed very, very young, peppering the conversation with lots of “likes” (I counted 25).

I was really interested to hear what she had to say about teenage pregnancy and sex education and interviewer, Van Susteren, delivered. Bristol was forced to answer questions such as how has her life changed, how she feels about being a mother and what was it like to tell her parents she was pregnant (to which Bristol replied, “It was, like, harder than labor”).

Bristol Palin seemed really intent on people learning from her story, which I found really admirable. Unfortunately she hasn’t really come up with a game plan on how to make that happen. Throughout the interview she seemed to be telling us to “wait, like, ten years,”  but I’m not really sure what we’re waiting for. Waiting to have sex? Waiting for sex education? Waiting for marriage? The whole thing seemed a little murky.

Especially when Susternen hit her with the big question: to abstain or not to abstain? Read More »

There was an award show last night? (Mmmm Christian Bale.)

Happy Birthday, Elvis!

All the teens in Mississippi are havin’ babies.

Tori Spelling is heading back to 90210. Maybe now we’ll watch.

New iPhone app turns it into a vibrator…

At least we aren’t the only ones who think Lisa Rinna looks freakish.

Drop the overpriced eyeliner, and get this. Now.

Would you give up 10 friends for a Whopper?

The top 10 men women fantasize about.

Is pollution bad for your skin?

Biggest Loser contestant gets mad, throws flour?

(Photo courtesy of Just Jared.)

Levi Johnston wants to set the record straight, alright?

Apparently sick and tired with what the media is doing to his image — crafting him into a stupid redneck who accidentally got Sarah Palin’s daughter preggo — Johnston decided to talk to the Associated Press about everything from his love of Bristol to what he really thinks of Barack.

“We both love each other,” Johnston told the AP about Bristol. “We both want to marry each other. And that’s what we are going to do.” When it comes to his new baby (due in December), Johnston seems just as equally “excited.”

“I’m looking forward to having [the baby], I’m going to take him hunting and fishing. He’ll be everywhere with me.”

As for that Myspace page that claimed Johnston was a proud redneck and didn’t want kids? Turns out his friends made it a year ago as a joke and he had nothing to do with it — I mean, so he says.

The author of the AP article writes that Levi is a “soft-spoken” scruffy hottie who’s also an “avid hunter” — he’s got animal skulls littering his Alaskan home. After learning that his gf was pregnant, Levi dropped out of high school and now works in the oil fields as an apprentice technician, doing all he can to make the dolla dolla bills for his new family. Read More »

Here’s a shocker: BBC News reports that young girls face increasing pressure to become sexualized at younger ages, and besides becoming sluttier and sluttier, they also give into self-destructive habits to cope with social stress.

My first thought? Oh, no! Save the children. My second thought? Ummm, obvi?

When I was young, my role models were Barbie and Kelly Kapowski. Barbie had an impossible waist paired with magic tits, and Kelly Kapowski had cheated on Zack Morris with college boy Jeff, her boss at the Max. Parents today are concerned that the Bratz dolls negatively influence girls’ body images. I think they look like ghetto skanks with big heads, myself. But I suppose if they are inspiring young girls to seek a ghetto-skank look, there is cause for concern.

But I digress. BBC reports that girls are suffering from various social anxieties: two in five girls studied knew someone who had self-harmed; two in five knew someone who had panic attacks; and one in three knew someone with an eating disorder.

These problems suck; I know, I’ve dealt with all of them. I went through a brief bout of anorexia when I was thirteen, dropping to 104 pounds on a 5′7” frame. When I started eating again after an intervention, knives and razors became my friends. Read More »

Ben and Jen: Super Fertile.

Too cloudy to go to the beach? Add these 80’s classics to your Netflix queue.

Exclusive look at the crazy new script from Tarantino. Awww yeah!

Nothing ruins a day at the beach quite like a shark. And I really needed a tan!

The new iPhone is out. We are not too happy about it, but what do the critics say?

Teen pregnancy on the up and up for the first time in over a decade. Could this be Juno’s doing?

Also on the rise, Wal-Mart stores. They. Are. Everywhere.

As if TV couldn’t get any worse – Nicole Richie gets another show.

2 words that should never go together: orgasmic and childbirth. Yes, there is a video.

Maybe this will inspire you to recycle. Think of the dolphins, people!

Gender equality on the road at last! Well, at least on the signs. Baby steps, ladies; baby steps.

You know what’s funny? When people make fun of over-hyped things. You know what else is funny? When people satirize their own religion. And since I’m not Jewish (but should be, considering how many Jewish people I chill with on a regular basis), I’ll refrain from saying anything except that I find this clip hilarious.