TV is like real life, right?

First, every television set in America goes digital, and now TV is going 3D? Yes, people, the future is here. According to MSNBC, ESPN will be the first network to go 3D this June, dubbing their new station ESPN 3D (rather original) and fulfilling every sports fanatic’s wet dream for a decade.

One of the main purposes is to help take a step for all TV to become 3D. While we can all do without A&E’s Hoarders popping out of the TV and taking over our living rooms, I’m sure we can all agree that there is nothing more heavenly than being able to reach out and touch Dr. McDreamy’s fine looking bod. In fact, much like adding a little extra buttercream on top of a cupcake, shooting my favorite shows in 3D will only make them that much sweeter:

Sex and the City: Who wouldn’t wanna reach out and give Samantha a high five while she gets it on with one of her (many) hotties in 3D?

Hung: For those of you that don’t know, Hung is about a man who is, well, hung. Enough said.

Portuguese soccer: Okay, what would you do if Cristiano Ronaldo was in your TV room in 3D?  If your answer is “nothing” you’re a big, fat liar.

The Food Network: There is nothing I want more than to have Paula Deen in my living room. OK, so maybe in my kitchen. Cooking me something. With lots of butter. But I’ll take her Krispy Kreme Casserole in 3D any day.

Gossip Girl: Chanel bags, YSL heels, Chuck Bass and Dan Humphrey nose to nose with me?  I’m not leaving my couch ever again.

Dear (See Below) Bands,

I love your music. Love, love, love. But can you maybe try to be a little less annoying? It makes it so hard to defend you when I tell my friends about my favorite artists. Actually, it makes it hard to admit to anyone that you happen to be one of them.  And I want to make them like you, really, I do. But like that friend who has a minor character flaw that now pisses you off enough that you really can’t see the good in her anymore,  I’m finding it difficult to enjoy your music knowing how annoying you are.

Here are some heart-to-heart tips from your loving (secret) admirer to be a little less annoying and a little more rock and roll.

Fall Out Boy

You always have a spot in my 6-CD player in my car. Sugar, you’ll never go down on the playlist for me if you continue to make some of the sweetest pop punk music out there. But please, Pete Wentz, I’m begging you – cut your hair, lay off the eyeliner and put on a damn shirt when you are on a magazine cover. You need to settle down – you play bass. And, um, you have a kid?

Also, Patrick, can you please enunciate your song lyrics so I can actually sing along and not just randomly open my mouth while humming the tune to look like I know what I’m singing? And what’s up with the weird syntax and bizzare punctuation in the song titles? Thnks Fr Th Confusn. I mean, e.e. Cummings was a legit poet, while you’re just… an antithesis of all semblance of reason. And grammar. My English teacher highly disapproves. Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Did your roommate leave dirty dishes all over your kitchen? Did your 8 am professor ‘forget’ to tell you class was cancelled? Did some girl on her cell with bad high-lights and tacky bumper stickers that say “angel” and other clever things cut you off today? Let it all hang out. I feel you.] Read More »