Talking with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you, you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: A few months ago I was sitting with my BF and he thought I had something on my cheek. He went to pull it off and…it was a long, dark hair….growing out of my face. I was mortified, but figured it was a one-time deal. But now I’m finding these hairs popping up more often. They are dark and big and show up on my cheek and neck. Do I have too much testosterone or something? Is this fixable??

Help – it’s really embarrassing.

A: I know how you feel. In fact, I have a few sprouters myself.  Nothing like a big black facial hair to spoil the mood. I wish I knew more about what else is going on with your hair growth. Are the hairs growing out of moles? How many are there? Do you have hair on your chest, under your belly button, or around your nipples? Are your arms hairier than normal? Do you tend to get acne?  These would all give me some idea of how much testosterone you may have in your body.

Finding the occasional facial hair is not uncommon for a woman.  An individual’s hair distribution is influenced by androgens like testosterone, the hormones we typically think of as being exclusively male.  Androgens also exist in females, though in lower concentrations.  Androgens can be produced by the adrenal glands, as well as by the ovaries, and higher levels of androgens lead to more hair growth. Each woman’s hair distribution may change over time, since hormones fluctuate widely from puberty, through the reproductive years, to menopause, and beyond.

If you tend to be on the hairier side, you may also have hair on your upper lip, chin, around your nipples, and below your belly button.  Check out Mom. If she looks like you, chances are everything is fine. But if you’ve been relatively hairless and suddenly you feel like a monkey, see your doctor. You may have a condition we call hirsutism. Your doctor will examine you, check hormone levels, and evaluate whether you’re taking medication that can cause hair growth as a side effect. Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) can cause excessive hair growth, as can hormone-producing tumors and rare conditions such as congenital adrenal hyperplasia and Cushing’s syndrome.

If your hair growth is the result of a medical condition, the condition may be treatable. For example, facial hair resulting from PCOS sometimes responds to the medication spironolactone. Otherwise, there’s always plucking, waxing, or electrolysis.  Keep in mind that a few facial hairs shouldn’t get in the way of your confidence and is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re beautiful just the way you are.

–Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

Now, the woman-in-trench-coat-peeping-through-blinds picture that accompanied the headline immediately got me excited for the juicy confessions of some private investigator. Boy was I wrong. Instead, Dr. Harry Fisch, author of Size Matters, decoded what size, shape, texture and taste (!!) mean when it comes to a guy’s libido. So, read on to find out what it means if…

…He’s Trim Around the Middle.

Cosmo Says: If the guy’s got a spare tire, all that extra fat will break down testosterone much faster than lean muscle, and “testosterone is the gas that drives the car. If it’s low…he’ll be tired, he’s not going to be able to exercise very much, he’s less likely to be in the mood, and his fertility will be lower.”

Kari Says: Interesting. I didn’t know a little extra padding could be so detrimental to a guy’s sex life. I mean, a huge potbelly is definitely going to lower a guy’s chances of getting laid, but I had no clue it would affect his performance/ potency when he eventually does bed someone. Testosterone must be pretty damn important.

…He’s Got Guns.

Cosmo Says: Yes, Kari, testosterone is pretty damn important. If you want to have great sex, find a guy who’s “trim and jacked” because all those muscles mean more testosterone. Also, tall, thin guys with bodies like noodles don’t produce as much, and some guys won’t produce a lot no matter how much they workout, those hopeless wimps.

Kari Says: Ugh, it’s nice to look at all those fake baked guidos glistening while they spot each other at the gym, but it’s another thing entirely to want to sleep with them. Even if they are producing mucho testosterone (and I’m not sure how black market steroids affect that hormone post-cycle), I think I might rather sleep with noodle boy and have mediocre sex than get my bump and grind on while jamming to house music. Just sayin’.

…He Parties Smart.

Cosmo Says: “Smoking and heavy drinking have the same effect on a guy’s mojo as a Rosie O’Donnell striptease.”

Kari Says: Poor Rosie, but ugh, vivid mental image. Anyways, Dr. Fisch explains that cigarettes constrict bloodflow to the penis, making erection a sometimes issue. But if a guy reeks of cigarette smoke, has yellow smokers’ teeth or has a red pleather Marlboro jacket (that he acquired by saving all those cigarette box tops), he’s gonna have issues wooing the ladies long before his junk doesn’t work. And the alcohol thing? Obviously, if a guy’s so toasted that I fear for the leather seats in my car, all he’s getting before bed is some ibuprofen and a bucket by the bed. But what if he’s still coherent and only slightly slurring? Well, as a victim of whiskey-dick syndrome, I can attest to the disappointment that comes along with alcohol-induced impotence. I agree with Dr. Fisch here.

…His Testicles are in Top Shape.

Cosmo Says: “Check out the size of his testicles, each should be the size of a walnut.” Also, check out the temperature, because if they’re running too hot, it might be because of a vein cluster called a varicocele. Find this by cupping his balls and running your thumb all over.

Kari Says: Cosmo, I’m beginning to be overwhelmed with all the testicular action you provide every month. You’ve taught me how to use them to enhance foreplay, control orgasm, and now determine future fertility risks. The uses for male reproductive organs will never end! The act of sneaking around his sack to find potential baby-making problems does seem kind of creepy, though; could you imagine if the guy noticed your facial expression was a little to concentrated? “Uh, what are you doing?” “Oh, nothing. Just exploring your reproductive value while pretending to pleasure you.” Awk.

…He Has Stellar Semen.

Cosmo Says: “You can glean a lot from the volume, clarity and taste of a man’s semen.”

Kari Says: No. Effing. Way. Cosmo, you have never shied from going into all the gritty details of all things sex, but there’s no way you would devote a column of an article to semen consistency, right? Wrong. Apparently, I’m supposed to measure out about half a teaspoon of jizz to determine if a) something is wrong or b) he masturbates a lot (I’m gonna go with b.) After that, I should check out how cloudy or clear it is—his ejaculate, not the weather—to see if he’ll have difficulty fathering my children. Finally, I should give it a good swish around my mouth to see if it’s salty (masturbates a lot) or sweet (hasn’t come for a while.) Pass. On all of the above.

…He Takes Just Long Enough

Cosmo Says: If he comes to fast, that sucks. If he takes too long, he could be masturbating too much, or he’s on anti-depressants and/or anti-anxiety meds.

Kari Says: Well, I’m definitely not gonna argue with you on this one Cosmo and Dr. Fisch. But in the second scenario, if he is taking a little too long (and there is such a thing, gentlemen!), I’d probably chalk it up to the masturbating thing before demanding a list of his prescriptions.

So what do you think? Good tips for determining a guy’s sexual abilities and reproductive health? Would you ever use any of this advice?

The New Scientist is reporting that S&M (including spanking, bondage, and flogging), although stressful at first, could bring couples closer together.

In a study, researchers at Northern Illinois University measured the stress hormone cortisol in 13 men and women at an S&M party. “During S&M scenes, cortisol rose significantly in those receiving stimulation, but dropped back to normal within 40 minutes if the scene went well”. At another event, testosterone was measured in 45 men and women and reportedly “increased significantly in receiving women only”. This fluctuation in hormones is understood to help women cope with the stressful nature of the activities.

In both studies, hormone levels returned to normal in couples who enjoyed the experience. The couples who reported the party as a success also “reported an increases in relationship closeness”. These new findings show that “when sexual intercourse is consensual it is not stressful – even if it is extreme sex”.

Not ready for nipple clamps, whips and chains? Don’t worry about it, an activity as simple as cleaning the apartment together could promote closeness withing a couple. Then again, nothing brings a couple closer together than a pair of handcuffs.

According to ABC News, hypoactive sexual desire disorder, which sounds very clinical but for the most part I’m pretty sure refers to a lowered sex drive caused by life (hormones, supplements, exhaustion), affects about one-third of American women. That’s a lot of headaches.

Deciding that it just isn’t fair women still get the short end of the stick (ha ha) when it comes to sexual desire later on in life, scientists have been busy developing a Viagra-like product called LibiGel. Although it’s still in the testing stage, LibiGel had a reportedly “283 percent increase of satisfying sexual encounters for the women taking the drug” in trials at 17 different institutions.

The gel comes in a pump bottle, and a small amount is rubbed into the skin of a woman’s upper arm. Over a period of 24 hours, “the gel’s testosterone seeps into her bloodstream, boosting her energy and libido.”

It’s not clear if LibiGel makes a gal want to go all night long, or only for a few hours after it’s seeped into her bloodstream, but either way, as long as the ads on TV are less stupid than those Viagra-Guy-Throws-A-Football-Through-a-Tire-Swing, I don’t think LibiGel will have much of a problem finding an audience.

Finding a man to try it out on, well, that’s a different story.

The dudes over at Truckblogs (no, I don’t usually frequent a site dedicated to all things vehicle, I was given the address by a friend) think they’ve discovered the secret behind that Dodge ram symbol.According to these dudes who like cars, the symbol is way more feminine than anyone has ever given it credit for.

I only wish this graphic had been around while I was still in high school, so I could stick it to the dashboard of all those obnoxious guys who revved their engines in the school parking lot at 7:15 AM.

…Nothing strikes more fear into a high school boy than the inner workings of a woman’s vagina.

Not because I’m a weakling who can hardly lift 50 pounds (I mean…I really don’t have any muscles…but that’s not the reason), but because the weight room is traditionally a breeding ground for testosterone. A box full of dudes grunting and veins popping and machines clanking. A place where a tiny redhead listening to Kelly Clarkson on her iPod kinda sticks out.

Even though I wanted to do more than cardio, I was resigned to the fact that I would never visit such a room. That was until a friend of mine changed me forever.

Sara is a lesbian. Therefore she’s not really intimidated by dudes. Thus, the weight room isn’t a scary place for her. Consequently, she told me we were going to start going there.

At first I was very, very uncomfortable. I felt like an idiot with my little weights. I felt completely out of place, always moving the little peg from 250 pounds to 75 on the machines, trying to ignore the hulking figures bench-pressing two times my entire body mass, wiping the puddles of sweat out of my way. It was intimidating. It was daunting.

But it was also sort of liberating.

Once I got inside, I realized no one was interested in me. Guys don’t go into the weight room to stare at girls. They go there to get buff. They go there to show off to other guys. Their eyes rarely wander (probably because if they did 178 pounds would come crashing down on their heads), and almost no one strikes up conversations. Plus, the music isn’t half bad.

These days, I venture into the weight room all by myself. I still feel a bit intimidated at times, but I don’t let that stop me anymore. Worrying about what other people think and see isn’t worth it, especially when the majority of the time all they’re really seeing is themselves in a mirror.

Besides, the other day I spied a dude who was scrawnier than me jumping to reach the pull-up bar. If no one said anything to that guy as he lifted all his 98 pounds off the ground, I’m certain they’ll leave me and my bright yellow 10 pound hand weights alone.